*Please read the notes! They are important*

Liam POV~~


I woke up this morning wrapped around Al's fit body, her bubble gum shampoo filling my nostrils. A sigh left my mouth as I vaguely remember what put us in the situation. The reason Toy Story is still playing on a non-stop loop...

I almost lost it yesterday. I feel terrible about myself. I haven't had a full blown breakdown in such a long time, and I am disappointed that I still can't control my emotions. I’ve been trying so hard and for so long to stop myself from going bad, but nothing works. I guess I’m just destined to be a piece of shit. I can't help but put the people I love in danger, at least once. I don't want to have to rely on Al to calm me down all the time. That's why I’m scared of looking for girls. I don't want to potentially hurt her.

I can't control my actions all of the time and if I were to hurt the girl I love, it would only make me crumble apart even more.

I just want to be happy...truly happy. I want t fall in love, marry a nice girl, and have kids without worrying that I might hurt them one day or have them scared of me.
Is that too much for me to ask for God?
Why did you make me this way?
I just want to be normal... normal...normal?
It sounds so foreign, like I wouldn't understand it even if I was.

The rustling of sweatpants woke me from my thoughts. I looked down to be met with Al's tired restless eyes. Why does she look so tired? We didn't stay up for very long and from what i know is that she's been in my arms all night.
She yawned giving me a fake smile.

"Good morning Li," she said yawning again. I looked down at her with a confused look written across my face.

"Al, why are you so tired? You just woke up, and why are your eyes red...where you crying?!"

"No. no of course not Li, what would make you think that?" She said as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"That," I said wiping away the salty liquid. "What's the matter love?" I asked squeezing her a little tighter. I sat up and pulled her into my lap so she was straddling me.

"It's nothing Li, seriously, just a bad dream alright?” She said defensively. I gave her look that said, 'do you really think I’m that dumb'.

"Alycia..." I never use her real name unless it's serious, "Tell me what's wrong? What did I do?" I knew I did something because the only time she doesn't tell what's wrong is when I did something.

"Nothi..." I cut her off.

"Tell me now Alycia. What did I do to make you like this?!" She sighed pulling down the the collar of her jumper so I could see her neck. My body stiffened as a gasp passed my open lips. She quickly let go of the fabric.

"It's fine Li, it's nothing serious, just a little bruise, nothing to worry about." I just shook my head reaching up to touch the dis-colored bruises. She flinched away from my touch...before I even touched her.

"Al?" She looked baked up to me with shiny eyes. "What did I do?" I asked once more.
She sighed again, signaling that she was about to tell me.

"Well, last night after we fell asleep I was woken up because you started screaming and yelling. When I looked at you, you were still asleep. I thought I would just wake you up gently, but they you...y-you started yelling his name. You sounded so scared and I didn't know what to do. You were just yelling and kicking and sweating, I just wanted to stop you that's all.
When I tried to shake you awake you... -y-your eyes shot open. They c-changed...T-they were b-black again. But this time they were completely empty. I h-haven't seen them so soulless in y-years. When you saw m-me y-you grabbed m-my throat. You squeezed and squeezed. I-I could b-barely breathe. I t-thought you were g-going to k-k-kill me.
I was about to black out until your fingers let me go and you p-passed out..." She finished telling me what happened. We were both sobbing at this point. I just grabbed her in my arms and rocked her back and forth, chanting “sorry" and "I didn't mean it" over again in her ears.
After the tears were reduced to quiet sniffles I finally asked the question that has been on my mind since she told me what I had done.

"Al?" She lifted her head from my chest.

"Why didn't you leave? I almost killed you and yet you're still sitting here? Why?"
She simply looked into my eyes...

"Because even if you don't think so, I need you just as much as you need me..."

We just sat there like this for a few more hours as we talked and laughed and forgot about what had happened the previous night like we always do. If we did dwell on all of the things that I have done in the pass, she would not be here, and certainly would not be here.
And I don't just mean with Alycia.

I don't think I would be alive if we dwelled....

Notes

CHAPTER 2 WOO!!!!

You will learn who He is very shortly ;) I want to keep a little bit of mystery. I keep getting such good feedback on this and i'm really proud of it!! So ya, that's it :) I am really sorry that it took me almost 2 weeks to update this. I was just really busy and then I got writer's block. I am just really really sorry. I hope you guys aren't disappointed in me :( really hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Please comment, vote, and subscribe!!!! sorry again...


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I'M GOING TO THE WWA TOUR!!!!
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~~Lauryn ;)~~