My chest hasn't stopped hurting since I left him stood there. The sharp pain has now turned to a dull ache, and the nightmares I had, have been happening a lot less frequently. It's been weeks since I last saw him and I thought I was going to be okay but I couldn't have been more wrong if I tried. I never ever thought I would feel this way, I thought the pain of leaving Andy was bad but this is ten times worse. I thought what I'd had with Andy was love but I was wrong, I knew that the way I felt about Harry was love it had to be, it wouldn't hurt this much otherwise. I'd fallen in love with him I don't know how or where but somewhere in between seeing him that first night and leaving him broken in the street I'd fallen in love with him. I missed him; I missed him so much, the way his smile made my stomach flutter and the way his dimples made me melt, the way he kissed me left my lips tingling for hours after.

I went on a date with Josh the day after it happened, I was trying to act so much like I didn't care about Harry and I managed it for that night at least. He took me too dinner and It was a really lovely date, he walked me home after and we turned the corner to my street and I saw Harry saying goodbye to some slut he'd obviously just shagged and that's when I lost it, I knew that he didn't care about me, He just wanted me as another notch on his bedpost. I haven't left my house since, I don't know if he saw me that night but I started receiving drunks voicemails and texts from him telling me he wanted me blah blah, But the truth is no matter how much I love him I could never trust him, he'd proved that on a few occasions.

The first few days were unbearable; I thought the pain would never stop. I tried cutting myself a few times and it worked for the first few times it made the pain easier to handle, but after a while It stopped working, It began to hurt more than the pain of losing Harry and that meant I was getting better bit by bit day by day.

Not a day has gone by where I wish I could go back and stop everything I said to him from coming out of my mouth. I honestly don't know why I did it, because I was wrong, I was broken and he fixes my scars better than any shrink out there. I know all of this is my fault because I pushed him away, but I really didn’t mean to the words came out before I could stop them.

Harrys POV
I can’t figure out why an earth she wanted me to stay away from her, sure I was trouble but we were good together right? I need to stop thinking about her it’s not like we were official or anything, she too damn stubborn for that and besides I don’t date, I just shag. Not lately though, I don’t know what it is but I just can’t seem to be with any other girl without thinking about her. Louis is tryna convince me that I might be falling in love with her and I nearly punched him for being so ridiculous. I don’t fall in love it’s just not my thing.

Sure she was good for me, she kept me calm-ish and out of trouble but there was no way I was falling in love with her was there? The thought to me seemed ridiculous but yet everyone else seems to think the same. I knew she didn’t mean any of what she said, she was just pissed off and hurt and I don’t blame her I would of the done the same thing. I don’t need you Harry her words kept replaying in my head like a stuck record. I know what I said made me seem like I was falling for her but I’m not I just can’t stand not being able to touch her or having her mad at me, I know she regrets what she said, I see it in her eyes every times she looks at my house. I just don’t know how to get her to change her mind.

Notes

yaya last update of the night :(
but enjoy
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