Stuck In A Room With Harry
Chapter 29
Harry’s POV.
The time was now 7:54. I pushed the button on the side of my phone to cut off the screen. I looked up and over at Hunter who was messing around with her nails and by the look of it, she was really into it ha.
Honestly, I don’t know if I wanted to tell her this story. Then again, she thinks she has it worst but I know worst. I know what it’s like to lose your mind and not know what to do with yourself. I know what it’s like to feel alone and down by yourself. I know it’s what it’s like to feel so lost and lose yourself between sanity and craziness.
“What did you want to tell me a story of?” Once again, pulled out of my thinking daze, I looked over at Hunter who was staring at me with a questionable look on her face. I sighed and pushed the hair out of my face, turning to face her.
“When I was a kid, I hated life.” She busted out into laughter then quickly covered her mouth while shaking her head. “Sorry, sorry but that’s how your gonna start this story?” I chuckled and nodded my head, agreeing to her statement.
“Well, I would be lying if I said I had it easy.”
Hunter’s POV.
I studied his face. He seemed confusingly broken inside, as if he questioned himself in if he should tell me this story. I looked away and down at my hands. For a while, sitting here with Harry seemed comfortably calm. I cleared my throat, signaling him to continue. He nodded his head as if I brought him back on track. “Right, anyway, I hated life.”
“Growing up for me was somewhat a hateful situation. I had a mother who preferred my older sister over me and a dad that, well…liked being abusive. Of course I didn’t figure this out until my brain connected the dots, which was in a short period of time before he left us all.” I didn’t look up, I couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to see his face for the fear of t being a look similar to mine, a look of despair and help.
“When I was 9, I had my first episodes of blackouts. It was with a group of boys. I use to get bullied a lot back in elementary school and believe me, being bullied at this age isn’t nearly as painful or hurtful as it was as a child.” I heard a faint chuckle come from his lips, causing me to look over at him.
His eyes were fixed on the darkening room as he continued on. “One day I was walking home from school. I had stopped riding the bus before because I got bullied and no one drove me to school because no one gave a shit. So, I walked. I took my usual route, enjoying that silent autumn day. I was down the street from my house when I saw a familiar group of boys walking up the street towards me. I was silently hoping in my head that they didn’t recognize who I was but it was too late. I could see the smirk on the leader of the groups face, Jason.”
“Wait, Jason as in-“
“Yes Jason Mires, the one who goes to our school and is afraid of me.” I slowly nodded and let him continue with his story. “I braced myself for the beating that was about to come from these 3 boys as the approached me. It was the usual thing for me, being punched and kicked, thrown to the ground repeatedly, it was my life. I remember the exact words that Jason said to me that day. “looks like Harry has an a ass whooping appointment with me, doesn’t he boys”, trying to sound all hard.”
“But, for some reason I felt different. I wasn’t afraid of these boys today, I felt as if I could beat their asses if I wanted. Little did I know, I did, just worse then what I thought I would. So anyway, Jason threw the first punch, hitting me straight in the nose. That’s when the jumping started, all three boys on me at once. It hurt like a bitch, not gonna lie, but I laid there and I took it for a little bit before something in my brain snapped.”
I looked over at him as soon as he said that. Snapped. Like me?
“As soon as one of the kids fist came close to my face, I grabbed it and twisted his arm, making him scream. This brought Jason and his other friend to a halt, weird looks being casted my way from them. I stood up with his twisted hand in mine and kicked him directly in his ribs, and im pretty sure I cracked it just by the sound. He fell to the ground and that’s when I turned to Jason. I wasn’t worried about the other kid, I knew he wasn’t going to try anything after seeing what happened to the other kid.”
“I came at Jason with so much force and hate in my eyes. I felt the anger building up, next thing I know I was on top of him. After that, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt more and more twisted happiness as a cynical smile etched on my face. I felt like I was only punching him, but when he friend pulled me off, begging me to stop, I fell back.”
His face. It had the look of a terrified child on it. Like he was back in his shoes as a 9 year old kid. Like he was reliving this nightmare all over again.
“I thought I killed him. He wasn’t moving. There was blood seeping from the back of his head, his eyes were already beginning to swell shut, his nose was just spurring out blood, and his body was laying their limp. I slowly started to back away, I didn’t know what to do. His friends were crowding around him, not paying attention to me anymore, but to the boy laying almost dead on the pavement.”
“I ran home, not looking back. My mom’s car was already in the driveway which freaked me out more, ha. As soon as I entered the house, I ran up to my room and closed the door, locking it. I went over to my bed and sat down, dropping my book bag on the floor next to me. I didn’t come out of my room for the rest of the day. My sister and mom kept knocking on my door to get me to come out but I didn’t even answer them. I knew I had them worried sick about me but I couldn’t face them.”
“I didn’t want them to see the bruises made on my hands or the blood spatter on my clothes. I was too afraid-“I heard him choke on his words as he tried to manage to get out what he had to say. Then, in a faint whisper, he got it out.
“I was afraid I was going to hurt them.”
I felt my heart literally shatter in heart break for him. I felt so bad for him. Him going through this at such a young age, but I get it. I understand where he is coming from. It’s hard to try and talk to someone about this when that person doesn’t have a clue as to what you’re saying, but tries their best to. It just isn’t helpful.
“This same thing happened again when I was 16. I did it to my sister’s boyfriend. I found out he had beat her a week before she came to see me and our mom. I heard her tell our mom at the kitchen table. Yea, I lost it and went to go see him. My intent was to just talk to him and tell him he has to leave my sister alone and go away but seeing his face only egged my blackout to come and take over, and so it did.”
By this time, my eyes couldn’t leave his face. It was dark in the room but the faint light from outside gave me a clear view of the side of his face. It was enough to see that terrified look on his face.
“I put him in a coma Hunter. I can never get over that and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I put someone in a coma because I let my anger win. My mom and sister was afraid of me after that and I couldn’t face them anymore. I didn’t have the courage to even be near them, let alone talk to them. During that time, I had met Zayn. Zayn’s mom took me in because she knew of my condition and treated me liked her own son, hinting to why me and him are so close”
The sadness in the space between is just grew and I could tell Harry was crying. I saw the little wet particles trickling down his face. He shook his head, trying to holding the sniffles.
“The only thing I will never forget is my mom and sister. Yea, they were closer than me and my mom but they loved me so much. I miss seeing their faces, I miss seeing their smiles and being around their happy spirits, I miss them.”
I felt my eyes watering. Great, now I was going to cry but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is Harry crying and me not doing anything about it. I had no bad feelings toward Harry right now, they weren’t even in proximity of me. I thought about what he did to me to make me calm, the hugs.
I scooted over to him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me. Then, he broke. His silent cries became loud ones, the helplessness evident in his voice. Harry was a broken boy in a glass box of cracks. His whole life he had it hard and I could see that. I shushed him and I smoothed his curly hair down, cradling him into me more.
I didn’t feel weird and it didn’t feel wrong. It felt right, so right.
“It haunts me every day Hunter, I can never escape the memories of that day. The day I broke the relationship between me and the only 2 people I had. I hate myself for it.”
I shook my head repeatedly at his comment. “Harry you can’t hate yourself. It’s not your fault, you didn’t choose this thing of darkness, and it chose you.”
And in my mind, these words stay. Maybe they could make sense to me as much if I made them.
Maybe the broken experiences of a troubled life of 2 broken souls could make sense to the both of them.
The time was now 7:54. I pushed the button on the side of my phone to cut off the screen. I looked up and over at Hunter who was messing around with her nails and by the look of it, she was really into it ha.
Honestly, I don’t know if I wanted to tell her this story. Then again, she thinks she has it worst but I know worst. I know what it’s like to lose your mind and not know what to do with yourself. I know what it’s like to feel alone and down by yourself. I know it’s what it’s like to feel so lost and lose yourself between sanity and craziness.
“What did you want to tell me a story of?” Once again, pulled out of my thinking daze, I looked over at Hunter who was staring at me with a questionable look on her face. I sighed and pushed the hair out of my face, turning to face her.
“When I was a kid, I hated life.” She busted out into laughter then quickly covered her mouth while shaking her head. “Sorry, sorry but that’s how your gonna start this story?” I chuckled and nodded my head, agreeing to her statement.
“Well, I would be lying if I said I had it easy.”
Hunter’s POV.
I studied his face. He seemed confusingly broken inside, as if he questioned himself in if he should tell me this story. I looked away and down at my hands. For a while, sitting here with Harry seemed comfortably calm. I cleared my throat, signaling him to continue. He nodded his head as if I brought him back on track. “Right, anyway, I hated life.”
“Growing up for me was somewhat a hateful situation. I had a mother who preferred my older sister over me and a dad that, well…liked being abusive. Of course I didn’t figure this out until my brain connected the dots, which was in a short period of time before he left us all.” I didn’t look up, I couldn’t. I didn’t have the courage to see his face for the fear of t being a look similar to mine, a look of despair and help.
“When I was 9, I had my first episodes of blackouts. It was with a group of boys. I use to get bullied a lot back in elementary school and believe me, being bullied at this age isn’t nearly as painful or hurtful as it was as a child.” I heard a faint chuckle come from his lips, causing me to look over at him.
His eyes were fixed on the darkening room as he continued on. “One day I was walking home from school. I had stopped riding the bus before because I got bullied and no one drove me to school because no one gave a shit. So, I walked. I took my usual route, enjoying that silent autumn day. I was down the street from my house when I saw a familiar group of boys walking up the street towards me. I was silently hoping in my head that they didn’t recognize who I was but it was too late. I could see the smirk on the leader of the groups face, Jason.”
“Wait, Jason as in-“
“Yes Jason Mires, the one who goes to our school and is afraid of me.” I slowly nodded and let him continue with his story. “I braced myself for the beating that was about to come from these 3 boys as the approached me. It was the usual thing for me, being punched and kicked, thrown to the ground repeatedly, it was my life. I remember the exact words that Jason said to me that day. “looks like Harry has an a ass whooping appointment with me, doesn’t he boys”, trying to sound all hard.”
“But, for some reason I felt different. I wasn’t afraid of these boys today, I felt as if I could beat their asses if I wanted. Little did I know, I did, just worse then what I thought I would. So anyway, Jason threw the first punch, hitting me straight in the nose. That’s when the jumping started, all three boys on me at once. It hurt like a bitch, not gonna lie, but I laid there and I took it for a little bit before something in my brain snapped.”
I looked over at him as soon as he said that. Snapped. Like me?
“As soon as one of the kids fist came close to my face, I grabbed it and twisted his arm, making him scream. This brought Jason and his other friend to a halt, weird looks being casted my way from them. I stood up with his twisted hand in mine and kicked him directly in his ribs, and im pretty sure I cracked it just by the sound. He fell to the ground and that’s when I turned to Jason. I wasn’t worried about the other kid, I knew he wasn’t going to try anything after seeing what happened to the other kid.”
“I came at Jason with so much force and hate in my eyes. I felt the anger building up, next thing I know I was on top of him. After that, I didn’t know what I was doing. I just felt more and more twisted happiness as a cynical smile etched on my face. I felt like I was only punching him, but when he friend pulled me off, begging me to stop, I fell back.”
His face. It had the look of a terrified child on it. Like he was back in his shoes as a 9 year old kid. Like he was reliving this nightmare all over again.
“I thought I killed him. He wasn’t moving. There was blood seeping from the back of his head, his eyes were already beginning to swell shut, his nose was just spurring out blood, and his body was laying their limp. I slowly started to back away, I didn’t know what to do. His friends were crowding around him, not paying attention to me anymore, but to the boy laying almost dead on the pavement.”
“I ran home, not looking back. My mom’s car was already in the driveway which freaked me out more, ha. As soon as I entered the house, I ran up to my room and closed the door, locking it. I went over to my bed and sat down, dropping my book bag on the floor next to me. I didn’t come out of my room for the rest of the day. My sister and mom kept knocking on my door to get me to come out but I didn’t even answer them. I knew I had them worried sick about me but I couldn’t face them.”
“I didn’t want them to see the bruises made on my hands or the blood spatter on my clothes. I was too afraid-“I heard him choke on his words as he tried to manage to get out what he had to say. Then, in a faint whisper, he got it out.
“I was afraid I was going to hurt them.”
I felt my heart literally shatter in heart break for him. I felt so bad for him. Him going through this at such a young age, but I get it. I understand where he is coming from. It’s hard to try and talk to someone about this when that person doesn’t have a clue as to what you’re saying, but tries their best to. It just isn’t helpful.
“This same thing happened again when I was 16. I did it to my sister’s boyfriend. I found out he had beat her a week before she came to see me and our mom. I heard her tell our mom at the kitchen table. Yea, I lost it and went to go see him. My intent was to just talk to him and tell him he has to leave my sister alone and go away but seeing his face only egged my blackout to come and take over, and so it did.”
By this time, my eyes couldn’t leave his face. It was dark in the room but the faint light from outside gave me a clear view of the side of his face. It was enough to see that terrified look on his face.
“I put him in a coma Hunter. I can never get over that and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I put someone in a coma because I let my anger win. My mom and sister was afraid of me after that and I couldn’t face them anymore. I didn’t have the courage to even be near them, let alone talk to them. During that time, I had met Zayn. Zayn’s mom took me in because she knew of my condition and treated me liked her own son, hinting to why me and him are so close”
The sadness in the space between is just grew and I could tell Harry was crying. I saw the little wet particles trickling down his face. He shook his head, trying to holding the sniffles.
“The only thing I will never forget is my mom and sister. Yea, they were closer than me and my mom but they loved me so much. I miss seeing their faces, I miss seeing their smiles and being around their happy spirits, I miss them.”
I felt my eyes watering. Great, now I was going to cry but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is Harry crying and me not doing anything about it. I had no bad feelings toward Harry right now, they weren’t even in proximity of me. I thought about what he did to me to make me calm, the hugs.
I scooted over to him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me. Then, he broke. His silent cries became loud ones, the helplessness evident in his voice. Harry was a broken boy in a glass box of cracks. His whole life he had it hard and I could see that. I shushed him and I smoothed his curly hair down, cradling him into me more.
I didn’t feel weird and it didn’t feel wrong. It felt right, so right.
“It haunts me every day Hunter, I can never escape the memories of that day. The day I broke the relationship between me and the only 2 people I had. I hate myself for it.”
I shook my head repeatedly at his comment. “Harry you can’t hate yourself. It’s not your fault, you didn’t choose this thing of darkness, and it chose you.”
And in my mind, these words stay. Maybe they could make sense to me as much if I made them.
Maybe the broken experiences of a troubled life of 2 broken souls could make sense to the both of them.
Notes
I know, okay, im sorry lol. Its going to be like this for a while lol. School is a pain in the ass and i work and i have sports so yea, dont expect chapters so quickly anymore lol
SORRY GUYS BUT HOPE YOU LIKE IT!
Pleeeeease updated
2/22/16