rate: 7.8
idea: =
grammar: great
advice: 4

1. I feel like the beginning is dragging on a bit. It opens and we get to know the characters really well along with their personalities but I'm in the 5th chapter and I still don't really know where it's going.

2. The parentheses aren't really needed--instead of using them I would use things such as ; and --

3. Does Hannah not work? It just seems unrealistic that only Carmen has a job.

4. Sometimes I feel like there is either too much detail or not enough. For example:

too much- we don't necessarily need to know what Cece's and Skyler's parents do....just that they're wealthy. When Hannah calls Carmen "Carm", it is understood that it's her nickname.

not enough- where has this money come from? Maybe it'll be in a chapter soon but I would make sure you throw that in there!

I would just take those things into consideration and it has great potential! Like always, this is my opinion so don't take it too hard! It is supposed to be constructive! I hope this has helped!