Author's Note

Hello love,

I've read the first three chapters or "acts" and unfortunately I can't go on. Why? Well because I have subscribed and I have class soon. It is like, wow! Did I scare you there? Sorry...

So to begin with, your detail and character build up is phenomenal. I haven't read a story like yours in a very, very long time. It pulled me in right away and I really don't want to stop. I'm very impressed with using 3rd person. I have yet to read a story on any fanfic that is 3rd person and that is VERY hard to do. If you don't know what I mean by 3rd person, it means that you are writing as a non-bias view. You are seeing the story as a narrator rather than as one of the characters. Again, very hard. I usually don't even attempt it because I have a hard time getting my point across.

Your characters have made me smile and I love feeling what they're feeling. You are definitely great at making me know the character. It feels like I could walk up to Amber and know the kind of person she is. So please, I beg of you, really stick to how your character is throughout the story! I know I have an extremely hard time sticking to my characters personalities and it's tough to do. The only thing I would suggest is adding a bit more dialogue between characters. Now I realize I'm only three acts in so I'm not sure how the rest is playing out but adding just a bit more will bring your characters out even more.

Another thing that is very important to me is detail. I love being able to see what I'm reading and with your work I can see everything. On the other hand, make sure you are explaining wardrobe and such. I love using links but I don't want to have to stop and click a link. I just want to know by your description. But you have still captured my attention and I feel like I'm watching a movie and that, my friend, is what you want your readers to see. If I can read a movie you are doing something right.

There are only two more things I want to go over and the first is in your first act (simple fix). Half way through I kind of understood who Odile and Odette were but you didn't really tell us until your notes. If you include who those characters are in your chapter you won't have to include it below. I think with all of your description you can easily throw them in the mix.

And last, similes and metaphors make the world go round and again, you did it (round of applause). When I read your metaphors I can't help but smile because it helps me feel your characters even more. I don't know where your talent is coming from but I am truly in love with your story and I've only read the first 3 acts!

I'd also like to say I refuse to give you anything less than the truth so every word I have typed is genuine. I love, love, love the concept and I can't wait to keep reading after my classes tonight!

Thank you for sharing,
-A

Notes