(Louis’ POV)
When the door opens I feel my heart soar and drop at the same time. That usual happiness jumps within me because my incredible boyfriend is home and I can kiss him and giggle with him and blah, blah, blah. But then I remember that today is different.
Harry shuts the door and I hear him call out “Honey, I’m home!” like the cheesy idiot he is.
“Hey babe.” I say bittersweetly when he walks in and grins at me. I think he notices how tense I am.
Harry sits down next to me and leans in for a kiss that I eagerly help him with, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer. God, maybe if I just kiss him long enough he won’t be as angry. He won’t hate me as much. I swipe my tongue along his lip and he gives me entrance, moaning slightly. I take his shirt in hand and try to unbutton it while still kissing him.
“Woah, you okay?” Harry asks, pulling away. Damn. Too out of character.
“Insightful bastard.” I mumble, running my hands over my face anxiously.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, his green eyes darkening. He scoots closer, on arm around my shoulder.
“I…” I can’t finish. A part of his fringe falls in front of his eyes and I reach up to move it out of the way, fingers twirling a curl over and over as I try not to get upset. “You need a haircut, I hate not seeing your eyes.”
“Don’t change the subject.” Haz says firmly and I sigh, nose stinging with the promise of tears.
“Everything’s wrong. Everything. Marshall and all his fucking comments, and all of management really, and the fact that someone can hate me for something that I can’t change!” I say, welling up. “I absolutely hate that no matter what I do, I’ll always be the gay one to him. I’m not…there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m Louis. I don’t know what to do if everyone hates me, I just don’t.”
Harry pulls me closer, burying my face in his chest and inhaling his cinnamon cologne in search of comfort. “You’re leaving something out.” Hazza whispers and I shake my head into his chest. “Yes you are.”
“Ugh.” I mumble, and pull myself away from him.
I clamber off the couch and stand in front of him, seeing his eyes never once leave mine. My fingers grab the hem of my shirt and slowly lift it up, revealing the new and angry red scars there. I wince when Harry stares at them, eyes full of what starts as shock, and turns to guilt.
“I’m so sorry.” I whimper, dropping the shirt to pinch the bridge of my nose.
“I shouldn’t have left you alone.” Haz says, shaking his head. His long fingers reach out and lift the shirt again, lightly brushing the pad of his thumb over them, making me jump.
“No, it’s not your fault. It’s not.” I deny, taking his hands in mine and interlocking our fingers.
“Then whose is it? I left you alone. I knew you were upset and I left you here by yourself to go get fucking Chinese food with Zayn. I’m the one who-”
“Stop!” I interrupt, moving to pull him up off the couch, his lips moving to kiss my forehead softly.
“I-”
“No. Stop. Not tonight. I just…” I trail off, finally letting myself cry into his chest. “I need you to just hold me tonight. I need you.”
That seems to have stopped him, and I feel him nod, taking me by the hand and leading me to our bedroom, which is really Harry’s but it’s become ours after becoming a couple and never sleeping apart. We find the bed and I curl up in his chest, his arms snake around me and pull me close as I fist my hands in his shirt.
“I’m so sorry, Hazza.” I breathe into his neck.
“Don’t be. It’s okay. We knew you’d relapse eventually, I’m actually really proud you lasted this long.” Harry reassures, rubbing circles on my back.
“I just…everyone will hate us Haz. Everyone will hate me. I don’t know what to do knowing that.” I cry into his chest.
“Nobody will hate you, Lou. Marshall’s an asshole, and as soon as Simon gets here I’m making sure he fires the hell out of him and he never sees us again. Management…they’re all assholes. But our fans? They would never hate you. They love you, Louis. They love all of us. You know how many of them obsess over Larry Stylinson. Whenever they find out, whenever we’re ready, they’ll be so happy.” Harry says softly into my ear.
“You don’t know that. They could still hate me.” I murmur, kissing his neck.
Harry pulls me away by my shoulders, making me look at him. I don’t even try not to; those gorgeous green eyes always have my attention. He smiles softly at me and leans in to kiss my lips, light as air, before running his thumb over my cheek.
“I do know that. Nobody could ever hate you. Everyone loves you. Everyone. I’m so lucky to be yours. You could have had anyone, but you picked me. And I’m so, so glad you did.” Harry whispers.
“You act like I didn’t want you from day one, Curly.” I say, smiling a little now.
“I love you so much, Louis.” Harry smiles, lifting my shirt to gently touch the new cuts there, but neither of us look away from the other’s eyes.
“I love you too, Harry.” I grin.
**************************************************
(Harry’s POV)
Once Louis falls asleep in my arms, I detangle myself, write out a quick note (I love you babes, just went to talk to Niall, xx) and hop out of bed.
Truth is, I need to talk to someone. Now. Like, right now, before I burst. My mind is all over the place, chantingyourfaultyourfaultyourfaultyourfault and questioning why does he think people hate him? and absolutely yelling you need to fucking do something.
I slip on Louis’ TOMS (whoa déjà vu) and close the door softly behind me. I walk down the hall and into the lift, all the while just hating myself. I then leave and walk the two minutes to Niall’s flat, ignoring the cold wind, and scamper up the steps to knock on the door in the night air.
A disheveled looking Irish boy opens it. He raises an eyebrow and asks “Dude, what happened?” and okay wow I must look as freaked out as I feel.
“I’m in over my head, Niall.” I mumble, pushing past him into his living room to see Liam and Zayn sitting in front of the tv, beers in hand.
They look up at me expectantly as I shuffle up to sit on the table. Niall plops down on the arm of the couch.
“He cut again.” I say, and they all widen their eyes, Liam putting his face in his hands. “He thinks everyone will hate him if they know about us. He’s convinced that everyone will react like Marshall did, and he freaked out. He asked me to just hold him, and I did, of course. But it’s not enough, I know it.”
The boys sigh collectively. “He asleep right now?” Zayn asks.
“Yeah. I needed to talk to someone. Actually, it’s probably good you’re all here.” I mumble, raking my fingers through my hair. “I need to do something more for him. I told him that nobody hates him and I tried so hard to help him understand, but…I dunno. He didn’t believe me, I could tell.”
“Then what do you plan on doing?” Liam questions and I hop down onto my feet in order to pace.
“I don’t know. He needs to understand two things. One, that the fans love him no matter what. Two, that I’m not angry and I’ll still do anything for him. How the fuck do I get him to understand that? You know how stubborn he is.” I ramble, walking back and forth between the couch and the wall.
“That we do.” Niall mutters.
“You could sing to him? He loves your voice, Harry.” Zayn suggests. It’s a good idea, yes. But not enough.
“More. It needs to be bigger than that. He has to understand how much the fans love him, you know? He’s literally convinced himself that the entire fan base will despise him, or already do. He’s so frustrating, he won’t believe me no matter what I say!” I rant, stopping to lean against a wall.
“You love that about him though.” Niall says knowingly and before I can help it, I’m smirking.
“Yeah.” I mutter, fully smiling now. “God, why did I leave him alone? I’m an idiot.”
“Shut up. It’s in the past, Haz, right now we need to figure out what we’re doing before everything falls to pieces.” Liam interrupts, and it hits me.
I know exactly what I need to do. It scares me, but I want to do it. I have to.
“I’ve got it.”
*************************************
(Louis’ POV)
It’s the next night and we have a concert. When I’d woken up this morning Harry’s arms had been encircling my tightly, and we’d showered together, his soft fingers tracing the lines on my hips and whispering sweet nothings to me. The rest of the day he’d been sharing looks with the other guys and acting giddy. I tried asking, but he just told me he was looking forwards to the concert, and I was tired and believed it. Come to think of it, he’d been whispering with the others a lot more as well. I’ll have to ask him about it after, as we’re in the middle of performing. Oops.
“That’s what makes you beautiful!” Harry sings, hot as ever, finishing the song. The crowd goes wild, as per usual.
“Thank you!” Liam says into his microphone and I grin, waving to someone with a Louis sign.
“Now,” Harry says, and I perk up. He sounds serious and that’s…well, not Harry. “I have a surprise for you guys tonight.”
Okay, double the weird. I stare at him, raising an eyebrow, but he smirks.
“You all know that sometimes our lives can get a little hectic, right? Sometimes we get a little down, because it’s hard to keep up.” Harry says, and I feel my stomach start to swirl. Oh no. He is not. I start to shake my head. “Well, lately Louis had been going through a really rough time, and he even thought that maybe the fans hate him.”
I blush, glaring at Harry. “That’s ridiculous, right guys?” Harry says, gesturing to the audience. They scream louder, waving signs and flashing cameras. I blush further.
“Harry…” I say as a warning into my mic, but Liam comes up behind me and pulls me down onto the couch. The hell?
“So, with the help of the other boys, I’m going to sing a song for Louis. If you guys know the words, please sing along, yeah?” Harry says and my heart skips a beat. He’s going to serenade me? In front of everyone?
I think the shock is evident on my face when a familiar tune starts to play. No. There is no goddamn way he’s singing this to me, no, nonononono. But Harry smiles at me, that reserved smile that is just for me, and I can’t help but grin a little.
“I’m gonna pick up the pieces, and build a lego house,” Harry sings, and my stomach does flip flops. God, his voice is low, and sweet and holy shit, really romantic.
“If things go wrong we can knock it down,” He sings as he walks across the stage towards me, playing it up to the crowd. Fucker. “My three words have two meanings, and there’s one thing on my mind,”
“It’s all for you,” Niall, Liam and Zayn join in. I’m in a trance, sitting down with my mic falling halfway out of my hand, slack jawed at the fact that this is really happening.
“And it’s dark in a cold December, but I’ve got you to keep me warm,” The four of them sing, Harry spinning to stare directly at me. His green eyes are shining, and I know what he’s trying to say. I love you. I send him a clear look back. I know, idiot.
“If you’re broken I will mend ya, and keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on,” Harry sings to me, coming closer. My eyebrows raise because he’s singing. To me. In front of everyone. And he could not look happier. “Now,”
“I’m out of touch, I’m out of love,” The boys sing while moving forwards in a move similar to our choreography, Harry taking a break to twist his hips in a ridiculous little dance that shouldn’t be attractive but it really is.
“I’ll pick you up when you get down,” Harry sings directly to me, smiling that radiant grin and oh god he’s gorgeous. I feel myself blush even further and I bite my lip.
“And out of all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now,” And god, did he just wink at me on the word ‘love’?
“I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind,” They all sing, and Harry holds out his hand. I take it, not knowing what the hell else to do. He pulls me up and our chest bump together as he sings the next part, eyes never leaving mine.
“I’ll do it all for you in time,”
I back up, remembering that we’re on stage, not at home. I need to keep this playful and friendly. Right?
“And out of all the things I’ve done, think I love you better now,”
As the boys take the background “Now,” Harry dances away from me, a teasing grin on his face. I look out to the audience to see girls yelling and crying and smiling. Smiling. Maybe they don’t hate me?
I get a boost of confidence and I strut across the stage to Hazza, who raises a surprised eyebrow.
He goes to start the next part, but I beat him to it and put a daring finger on his lips. “I’m gonna paint you by numbers, and color you in,”
“If things go right we can frame it,” Harry sings, grinning and waving to some fans. Oh no he did not.
“And put you on a wall,” I sing loudly into my mic, making sure to crack my voice like I know he loves. His attention snaps back to me instantly.
“And it’s so hard to say it, but I’ve been here before,” Harry sings, walking behind me to wrap an arm around my waist, squeezing. Needless to say, I flush. “Now I’ll surrender up my heart, and swap it for yours,”
I laugh and dance away from him, mostly because I don’t know what I’m doing and everyone can see and Paul’s giving Harry a clear stop this before management kills you face but Harry just winks back and what the hell is going on?
The boys take the next chorus, Zayn using his ability to hit crazy notes to enhance it as Harry catches up to me and whispers in my ear.
“I’m out of touch, I’m out of love,”
“Louis, come on.” Harry says and I furrow my eyebrows.
“I’ll pick you up when you get down,”
“Come on, what?” I whisper back, because he can’t be serious.
“And out of all these things I’ve done, think I love you better now,”
“We can do this. Nobody will hate you. Look at all the Larry signs!” He says in my ear, eager. I have to admit, there’s tons of them, and those girls are crying right now. Woops.
“I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind, I’ll do it all for you in time,”
“People will hate us. Are we even ready?” I ask quietly, but he sighs and walks away from me to stare deeply.
“And out of all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now,” And god, he looks heartbroken when he gazes at me.
“Don’t hold me down,” Harry sings, sounding hurt enough to make me stage smile drop. He steps closer and I do as well, till there’s nearly no space between us.
“I think my braces are breaking,” He sings, snapping one of my braces against my chest and it’s such a contrast that I giggle.
I join in with him on the next part, everything else forgotten. “And it’s more than I can take,”
The music dies down just like in the studio version and I swear, Harry’s eyes have never been so green, his hair never so perfectly curly, his smirk never so perfectly gorgeous. In that second, I just know.
“And it’s dark in a cold December, but I’ve got you to keep me warm,” We both sing, voices harmonizing stunningly.
I take the next part bravely, taking a shaky step to grab his hand. “If you’re broken I will mend ya,”
Harry takes the next line, smiling at our intertwined fingers. “And keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on, now,”
“I’m out of touch, I’m out of love, I’ll pick you up when you get down,” We sing together, the other three boys reduced to background singers.
He stares in my eyes, reassuring green meeting scared blue, and I just know. I nod, hoping he gets it.
“And out of all these things I’ve done, I think I love you better now,” He sings, nodding back. We can do this, we can.
“I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind, I’ll do it all for you in time,” I sing, and he walks us backwards to where the couch is.
I stumble when I hit the arm of the couch and I just sit on it, tossing my mic backwards onto one of the pillows and share Harry’s, grabbing his waist and pulling him a little closer, incredibly shaky and nervous.
Niall, Liam and Zayn take the next two chorus bits, sensing Harry and I need a private moment. He leans in to whisper in my ear and I bite back a grin at the feeling of him kissing the skin below it.
“We ready?” He asks quickly.
“Yes. We…they won’t hate us, right?” I ask, insecurities showing through. Haz moves the mic far away just in case.
“Never. They could never, Lou Lou.” He whispers, breath hitting my neck.
“But management, and everyone else, I mean-”
“I don’t care. I’m in love with you and I will do anything to see you happy. Will this make you happy? Knowing the fans love you and not having to hide anymore?” He asks, and I sit stunned for a moment.
“Uh, y-yes. Yes, that would make me happy.” I tell him, seeing the fans all pointing and cheering at the sight of Harry between my legs, whispering close.
“Then you’re going to sing the last bit with me and then I’m going to kiss you, okay?” Hazza says soothingly, and I nearly cry at the fact that this really is happening.
“You sure?” I ask. No going back now.
“I’m always sure with you.” Harry smiles, not bothering to lean in anymore.
“Okay.” I breathe shakily and he nods.
Our part comes in and he puts the mic up between our close faces and he sends me the most utterly gorgeous look I’ve ever seen and you know what? Yes, we’re ready. I’m ready.
“I’m out of touch, I’m out of love,” We sing, and I’m aware of Niall fist bumping Zayn, looking quite smug.
“I’ll pick you up when you get down,” We sing, but right after I tug the mic towards me smugly.
“And out of all these things I’ve done,” I sing, never leaving those pools of green light.
“I will love you better now.” Harry finishes, and the crowd quite literally erupts into screaming even louder than normal.
“Kiss me.” Harry says, and oh shit did the mic just catch that?
But I don’t care anymore, I just don’t and I nod frantically and my arms link behind his neck, pulling him close and I kiss him. I kiss him through the crowd going deafeningly loud, Niall’s little happy dance and Zayn and Liam’s shared fond stare. I keep my lips on his even as he tosses his mic to who I don’t know, and snakes his arms around my waist to move closer.
When we finally pull apart, out of breath and emotional and oh so fucking happy, I burst out in little breathless laughter, as does he. I rest my forehead against his and soak in the feeling of this. Being with my boyfriend on stage, in front of fans, and it being okay.
“Well there you have it guys! Larry Stylinson is real!” Liam cheers and the crowd gets impossibly louder.
And everything, for once, is perfect.