(Harry’s POV)
Louis fell asleep in my arms. And it should have been sweet, and caring and all around beautiful. But it wasn’t, because the hurt expression on his face hadn’t left even in his sleep, and the circumstances around us hadn’t changed. While Niall was happy to watch his movie and attempt to make us cheery as well, it didn’t work. Zayn played along, but probably just for the sake of our collective sanity. Liam glared at the floor or the tv, not looking towards us once. And I just couldn’t focus because my Lou was hurting and I couldn’t help him.
After the movie finished, the boys left. Niall and Zayn both offered to stay behind, but I told Niall he should probably go make sure Liam was okay. He’d stormed out quite quickly and while I was still angry with him, I knew he needed some Niall cheering up. So Zayn had stayed behind and sat across from me, looking fondly at Lou who had his head in my lap, sound asleep.

“You know, he’s really lucky to have you.” Zayn says suddenly, and I look at him in surprise.
“I….it doesn’t feel that way.” I mutter, running my fingers through his feathery hair.
“Harry, we knew this from the start. He can’t just quit cold turkey, he’s gonna have troubles and he might relapse. The best any of us can do is help him and be supportive. And you’ve done that and more.” Zayn says and although my heart swells at his words, I still don’t fully believe them.
“But have I really? What if I’m not doing what I should? I feel like all this bullshit is because of me. I can’t read his mind, and I don’t know what he’s thinking, so what if the reason he nearly did that was because of me? What if I said something, or did something that set him off and-”
“Haz.” Zayn interrupts quickly. “You’re being stupid. I have never, not in my entire life, seen two people more in tune with each other. You get him and he gets you. It’s been that way since the start. When you’re worked up about something, he’s the only one who can calm you down. When he’s upset, you’re the only one who even so much as sees it, because you get him. You two love each other on such a huge level that I can’t imagine you apart. There’s nothing you could have done to make him do that.”
I pause, looking into his dark eyes for a surprised minute. Still, I can’t believe him.
“But-”
“But nothing, babe.” Louis voice says, and I look down to see him awake in my lap, small smile playing on his perfect lips. He sits up to face me, but his eyes remain on his hands.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. It had nothing to do with anything going on in my life, I swear. It was just… I mean, it was right there and all I had to do was reach out and touch it, and I lost control. And I hate that. I fucking hate that I can’t so much as flip eggs without doing something stupid. But I wanna work through it and get past it, and I can’t do that without you.” Lou explains, fiddling with his fingers.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I promise him, hoping he can see the truth in my statement.
I lose myself in his eyes the moment they lock with mine. God, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful. How is he even possible? How does he even exist? His gorgeous cerulean eyes are stunning, their bright color shining with the sun that’s coming through the window. And I just can’t imagine not having those eyes on me every day. I can’t imagine being without them.
“Good.” Louis breathes.
“Good.” I repeat and a small grin graces his face, and then I lose control.
I lean in and press our lips together, soft and delicate. I’ve never felt this way kissing anyone before, Louis has a hold over me. His lips are gentle and always in a half smirk, moving against mine in a dancing rhythm. I can smell his vanilla cologne and when his arms find their way to my neck, I give in and wrap mine around his waist.
We hear the door shut, telling us that Zayn has left us to ourselves, but neither of us move away from each other. Louis falls backwards on the couch and I topple on top of him, still kissing him lightly. My hands find his wrists and pulls them down to rest on the sides of his head.
I break the kiss to stare at him, lovingly, running my fingers over the now lighter scars. He watches me as I do so, studying my every movement. I trace the lines carefully, and he doesn’t try to move as I push a little pressure over the lines. He sucks in a shaky breath and my eyes snap back to his, and my heart skips a beat when I see that all his walls are down. I’ve never seen him so open. Never seen him so honest, so bright, so…stunning.
“I….I’m in love with you.” Louis says, and the words hit me like a freight train. We’ve never said it before. Sure, it was common knowledge, I suppose. But for him to say that….it must have taken a lot because that means opening up. And I see his bottom lip quiver with worry.
“God, I am so, so in love with you Louis, you have no idea.” I half-laugh reassuringly and Lou’s sky blue eyes light up.
He leans up and kisses me, fingers entangling in my curls and pulling me flush to him, and I moan when he rolls his hips upwards a fraction of a motion.
I pull away and look at him, eyebrows raised. He smirks, sending me a downright filthy look and I can’t take it anymore, I smash our lips together, feverish this time.
The next twenty minutes consist of ripping off each other’s minimal clothes, exploring heated skin, moaning and creating love bites dark enough that management will probably murder us. But we’re okay with that. Cause we’re in love.
*********************************************************
(Louis’ POV)
The next day, I’m exhausted. And sore. Very, very sore. Harry and I weren’t exactly lazy yesterday, if you know what I mean. I lost count of the amount of times we had sex, or something of the sort. I don’t know what it was about the words “I’m in love with you.” but they made us incredibly horny. But for us it wasn’t even remotely tiring; we couldn’t get enough. We were addicted to exploring each other, mapping out every inch, searing every sound and sight into our memories. Like the way Harry’s voice is utterly wrecked within minutes. Or the way he bites his lip when he comes, or the way it feels to have him in me, hands on my hips, mouth latched onto my neck with enough pressure to make me whine.
But enough of that. Now we have an interview and then a photo shoot and then a concert. And I’m sore. Fuck my life.
I’m aware that I wince when I fall into the car with the other boys, and I’m very aware of the smug, proud grin on Harry’s face. That fucker.
“Good night?” Niall asks, a bright smirk on his face.
“Shut up.” I mumble, too pissed to say anything else. Except I’m not really pissed. Just sore.
“Ooooh, Harry fuck you senseless?” Zayn teases crudely, and my eyes widen.
“Multiple times, thank you.” Harry beams and I punch him in the arm, glaring.
“Wanker.” I say fiercely, but Haz raises an amused eyebrow.
“Not anymore.” He quips smugly.
“I’ll withhold sex, don’t make me do so Harold.” I say simply, and I know I’ve got him because he goes silent, eyes widening slightly. Now it’s my turn to be smug.
Liam sighs in the row of seats ahead of us and the mood vanishes. I’d completely forgotten about our argument yesterday. Is he still angry with me? I can understand why, I really can. I know Harry told me over and over that it wasn’t my fault, that Liam overreacted, that I shouldn’t feel guilty. But it is, he didn’t and I do. I can’t help it.
And so when we get to the photo shoot after a ride full of silence and awkward looks and the boys hop out of the car, I hesitate. Liam’s still sitting down, tapping at his phone, and I know I need to fix what I broke.
I look to Harry, sending him a clear look. I’m going to talk to him, you go ahead. Haz raises an eyebrow and bites his lip nervously, silently asking You sure? And I nod.
“Love you.” He says sweetly, and Liam snaps his head up.
“In love with you.” I tease, and shut the door, leaving just Liam and I alone.
I move to sit in the seat beside him and meet his brown eyes carefully. He looks as guilty as I do, and I bite my lip before taking the plunge.
“I’m…really sorry, Liam. I shouldn’t have done what I did or said what I said.” I begin and he shakes his head.
“No, stop being ridiculous. I was a right dick. I flipped out. Truth is, there’s something I haven’t told you.” He sighs, and I raise an eyebrow. “I had a friend. Back at school when I was 16 or so. And she used to cut herself too. And I knew, and I kept it a secret because she asked me to. But then she got really bad and her boyfriend broke up with her and she went too deep. She was okay, thank god. But then she was in the hospital and they questioned me, as her friend and all, and I just felt so damn guilty. If I had just said something more, or done something about it…maybe it wouldn’t have gotten that bad. Anyways, point is, I just got really worried about you. And I felt like I was back to being in that hospital room knowing it was all my fault, and….I dunno. I lost it. But I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”
I sit in silence, shocked. I’d had no idea, and his reaction makes sense now. He looks so terribly guilty though and I reach out to yank him into a tight hug.
“It wasn’t your fault, Li. Not then, and not now. I know you don’t want to believe it, but please just try to. Coming from someone who has self harmed, no matter what you did, she still would have gone that far. I promise you, she would have. I’d know because I’d have felt the same and probably done the same. Just…yesterday wasn’t your fault either. We were both assholes. Let’s forget it? I might tease you for being my ‘uptight dad’ but you’re still one of my four best friends.” I explain, smiling when I pull away.
“Thanks.” Liam grins, and punches my arm lightly. “Same goes, Mr I-Had-So-Much-Sex-I’m-Sore.”
“Ugh, shut up!” I groan, chuckling a little. “I’m never living this down, am I?”
We both hop out of the car, grinning and linking arms. “Nope. Especially not with Niall.”
“Forget Niall, the stylists are going to kill me. Harry’s got love bites all over, and I have freaking teeth marks on my back.” I mumble as we walk into the building, my face flush.
“Oh god, didn’t need to know that. Did not need to know that.” Liam laughs and I shove him sideways with my hips, ignoring a shot of pain that flies through me.
“Yeah, whatever LiLi.”
********************************************
(Louis’ POV)
We make it through the photo shoot okay. Well, sort of. The stylists go absolutely nuts because they want me to wear a low cut jumper that exposes a bite mark and they have to cover it with makeup. Harry on the other hand, looks absolutely mortified when they have to repeatedly cover up his love bites, going all the way from his neck down to his torso. Ha. Payback.
But we have lots of fun because it’s one of those shoots where we just muck about and do whatever feels right. Which happened to be falling all over each other, grabbing bums and crotches, pulling faces and all that crap. Being ridiculous like we are. Harry’s obviously happy that I’m back to being close and goofy with Liam, and Zayn and Niall are as well.
The shoot passes by quickly because we enjoy it so much, and then we’re shoved in the car again to go to a tv interview on some American morning talk show. I make sure to sit away from Harry simply because his hair looks so goddamn perfect that I might just lose control and run my hands through it.
The questions are the usual, boring things that we answer just the same as always. Harry and I throw in a few bromance moments, leaning back to grin at each other and whisper crazy things. He compliments me and I tease him, keeping it simple.
And once that’s done, it’s back in the car and off to our next concert, picking up food on the way. Harry and I feed each other McDonalds fries, at one point each putting an end to a long one in our mouths and eating it until we kissed, like something out of Lady And The Tramp. Screw you, we’re cute.
So then we spend some crazy time running around backstage, kissing in darkened hallways and playing a stupidly fun game of hide and go seek.
“Shhh, stop moaning, Zayn’ll find us!” Harry warns me from our spot under the stage, behind some boxes.
“Fuck off and stop sucking on my neck then you-” I whine as he bites down on my skin again.
“Shhhhh!” He laughs and I giggle.
He lays himself on top of me, curling his head into my neck, curls splaying out across my striped shirt. We’re in a rather tight place, deathly dark as well and we can hear our team walking around above us, setting everything up.
“We’re…idiots.” I whisper, laughing quietly.
“I know. You love it, though.” Harry teases.
I’m about to laugh again when he rocks his hips downwards on mine, making me gasp unwillingly. He has a downright evil look in his twinkling eyes and I smirk dirtily.
“You want to get off under the stage we’re performing on tonight.” I state, but it get’s husky at the end as he rubs our crotches together again.
“Yes, I do. Sure fire way to help us win the game. Nobody wants to interrupt the couple having sex.” Harry sing songs quietly, keeping his voice hushed.
I roll my hips upwards, catching him off guard and he whines under his breath. “You kinky bastard.” I quip.
But soon his lips are on mine, and our hips are working together and I forget everything else. I ignore the way we hear Liam calling for us, and I ignore the whispers of “Do you think that’s them?” “I don’t want to find out.” despite the fact that they seem close. All I can focus on is the way our mouths muffle our moans and the way we move against each other, needy and desperate until we come together, gasping loudly into each other’s necks.
So we won that game, not that anyone wanted to deny it. And later that night when we’re on stage, I dance with Harry like always. And just before the chorus comes up again, he leans in and whispers headily in my ear, snapping one of my braces.
“I got you off right under where you’re standing, Tomlinson.”
Well I missed my cue. Not that I cared.