(Harry’s POV)
The next few days are an absolute blur of kisses, sneaky glances, awkward conversations and impatient frustrations.
That first night after the kiss(ing) Louis had curled up beside me in our bunk. My arms had fit around him and within seconds we were kissing again. We hadn’t since our snogging session and I felt like I was in a drought, waiting all that time to have him to myself. I’d struggled through the concert, my absolute need for his lips consuming me. During certain songs, mostly cheesy romantic lines, I’d sung directly to Lou, not going unnoticed by him, the boys, and the screaming fans. When he’d reached over and squeezed my ass during my solo in What Makes You Beautiful, it was different than usual. Instead of pulling away and grinning teasingly, I’d visibly flushed scarlet, turning around to simply catch his stunning eyes, nearly missing the next part. By the time we found ourselves on the couch, fans’ tweets on the projection screen behind us, I was dying to touch him. So while we danced, and sang and all around mucked about, I held his hand more than once. He’d blushed, and god he was so cute. And he was mine. So that night, when we’d lay in bed cuddling, our lips had inevitably found each others’. We tried to stay as quiet as possible, knowing that the other boys may be awake. But it bloody difficult with the way he’d tug at my hair and slightly grind his hips against mine. Damn him and those hips of his. Y’know how I said it was like a drought? Well at that point I’d been drowning in Louis. And it was a happy death.
The next day we’d been careful around the guys, keeping the PDA to a minimum. Well, what we thought was a minimum. I’ll admit that I’d purposefully sat on his lap in the limo, knowing that it gave my fingers casual access to the spot behind his ear. Every time he thought he was safe I’d delicately run my fingers over the sensitive skin there and he’s jolt, breathing becoming short. He’d glare at me and I’d ignore him with a smirk on my lips. And yes, I’ll admit that I (we, really) haven’t exactly been holding off on the ‘bromance’. My hands always find their way to Louis’ knee, and his to their now comfortable spot on my arm or shoulder. We always sat together, always touching, always shooting each other ridiculously filthy looks. So yeah, I was losing my common sense under the weight of my oh-my-god-stop-being-so-crazily-irresistable-before-I-pin-you-against-the-wall-right-here-right-now sense.
Louis and I hadn’t really talked much else about what the hell we were doing, and somehow we didn’t need to. We could read each other like open books. He’d always been able to with me, and I suppose me him, but not as much. But now I can see right into him. He’s no longer trying to keep up walls and barriers and god, is it not the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. He’s stunning. Gorgeous. Beautiful. And every time I have doubts about whether this is a good idea, he senses it and sucks on my neck and I give in without a second thought.
We’d gotten as far as messy handjobs, to be blunt. There’s not much more we could really do, seeing as though we were on tour with three other boys who have no idea we’re even together. We are together right? Yes. No doubt. Even now, the thought makes something stir inside me. Anyway, it was yesterday that that happened. We’d been in an interview, and after the hours of me torturing him, taunting him nonstop, Louis decided to play dirty. Really dirty. During the entire filmed interview, he was playing with me. With my knee, my curls (god he was evil), with my arm and my fingers. And then that idiot gave me the worst bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen, in the middle of some question that I didn’t hear nor did I bother to answer. He had raised an eyebrow, biting his lip seductively as his fingers tightened around mine, fingernails digging in. I could have killed him right then. Or ravished him. I’m sure he’d known, because his lips had tugged into a satisfied smirk.
As soon as the interview had ended he’d up and left and I’d followed quickly. Somehow we found a secluded hallway and instantly I’d pinned him to the wall. I had honestly growled into the fierce kiss, and when Louis had whimpered against me, my resolve just broke. Thank god there had been a private bathroom there. We’d stumbled in, locked the door and in a daze that I only half remember, ended up with our hands on each other, moans echoing off the walls until we’d collapsed into each others’ arms. But the look on Louis’ flustered, sweaty face was enough to push me over the edge any day because bloody hell, could you be any more attractive?
I’d been worried we’d get awkward, much like I had with my first time with my first real girlfriend, but no. We were better than that; more connected. We’d only grown closer.
And so that’s how I ended up here, laying down on our new hotel bed, Louis’ eyes boring into mine. I swear I could see right into his soul at that moment.
“I missed you.” He says simply, and I try to lean forwards and kiss him, but he lifts his head away.
“I was gone an hour, Louis.” I tell him, getting impatient. Although the look on his face makes an amused smirk flicker to my lips.
“An hour is a long, long time.” He says, a slight edge of teasing to the serious words.
“Missed you too.” I finally give in, and with that he’s satisfied, silliness and slight self consciousness gone from his face, and his hands entangle in my hair.
Our mouths crash together, my fingers digging into his hips just the way he likes it. This time his tongue is the first to make the move, shoving against my upper lip. I immediately let him in and moan as he pulls at my hair. He grins into the kiss, and just the thought of what we’re doing makes my hips arch slightly upwards.
He tugs my curls to the side, and even though it’s only four days into the relationship, I know just what he wants. I roll us over so I’m on top of him, straddling his hips. I make sure my legs dig in to his favorite spot, and I continue to snog him hungrily. His fingers find a particularly sensitive part of my scalp and I feel myself go weak in the knees.No, I want the upper hand in this. My hands take his fingers from my curls and I pin them to the bed, not giving him any movement. He’s completely helpless underneath me, stuck. And when I pull away to look at him with heavy lidded eyes, I can tell he absolutely loves it.
I lean back down to capture him in a breathtaking kiss, followed by me taking his bottom lip between my teeth and biting it just enough to elicit a broken moan from his throat. My slightly shaking hands keep his pinned, but move to intertwine our fingers just so, keeping us connected and grounded. I don’t know how the simple contact does all that, but it does.
Lou’s hips move upwards as I bite him again, sending a jolt of electricity through me. I begin to quiver, and I can see he’s in a similar state. My hands finally leave his to reach for his shirt. I undo the buttons on the plaid shirt (that I absentmindedly realize is mine and damn that’s hot) until it’s open, revealing Louis’ tan and toned stomach. My fingers walk over his skin, thumb brushing over his nipple and he whines underneath me, teeth closing on my lip out of shock.
His own hands reach up, tugging at my shirt. I do what he wants, pulling away to yank it off (as he does the same with his own) and then collapsing back onto him, heated chests pressed together. His mouth collides with mine again, lazier this time, hands raking up and down my sides, just hard enough to leave pink marks there and make me hiss in pleasure.
“Jesus fuck, really?” Comes a voice and I roll off of Lou so fast that I almost do what he did the other day. Before I can fall though, Louis’ hands clasp my waist, ripping me backwards onto the bed once again.
Both of us stare in shock at Liam standing in the doorway of our bedroom. I then realize just how freaky this must be for him. After everything that’s happened recently, finding the two of us shirtless, snogging and moaning was probably quite the sight.
I flush red through my panting breaths and out of the corner of my eye I see Lou do the same. His hand is holding mine like it’s a lifeline.
“Uh…” I stammer, unable to explain this. Or do I even want to? It’s not so bad for someone to know. Especially Liam. In the end, it’s up to my Louis.
“You guys have been…good lord, Niall and Zayn are going to have a field day, you know that?” Liam asks, and I sigh with relief. He’s not angry. Thank god.
“And…you?” Louis asks timidly. I sense his anxiety coming on (I’m getting good at this aren’t I) and scoot close to him, wrapping my arms around his bare stomach, kissing his cheek and whispering a nearly silent “Shhh.”
“I’m…happy for you. Assuming you’re happy, that is.” Liam says, waiting for clarification. We both nod, Lou deflating; leaning back against me.
“Then good. You could both use some happiness, really. And it was bound to happen sometime, I’m pretty sure Niall and Zayn have a running bet that goes up 20 bucks every month.” Liam says and I snort.
I feel Louis chuckle quietly against my chest and I tighten my hold on him. Suddenly the aspect of the boys knowing isn’t scary anymore. At least to me.
“Li?” Lou asks, using the nickname for the first time in months. I have a feeling I know where he’s going with this.
“Yeah buddy?” Liam answers, his eyes taking notice of how protectively I’m holding my Boo Bear. I smile at him before kissing Louis’ tousled hair.
“Can you not tell them? I mean, we will, of course. Just…I’m not ready yet.” Lou stutters.
“Of course. I’m just gonna go get ready, we’re going to breakfast in a few minutes. You guys gonna tag along?” Liam questions, and I grin and nod. Food sounds good right now.
He smiles once more, reassuringly, but says “We’ll finish talking later.” ominously before leaving the room.
I shift on the bed to sit beside Lou, who’s looking down.
His fingernails find his wrist, sinking into the skin there. I notice the way he scratches along the delicate healing lines. My fingers reach out and clasp around his, ignoring the way he jumps, and I pull them away. My other hand closes over his inner arm, blocking him softly from doing anything else.
“Don’t.” I say soothingly. “Let yourself feel. It’s okay to feel.”
And just like that I see him crumble, tears spilling over. My hand stays on his wrist firmly, but my free arm wraps around him tightly, never disentangling from his fingers as I curl him closer. I press soft kisses all over, feeling myself get welled up at the sound of his whimper.
“It’s okay.” I mumble into his ear. “Shhh.” I soothe into his cheek. “I’m here.” I reassure into his neck. “I’m not leaving.” I promise into his hair.
“I love you.” I admit into his lips, but we’ve lost ourselves in each other again, cold tears the only things getting between our soft kisses.
**********************************************
(Louis’ POV)
An hour after my incredibly embarrassing yet emotionally satisfying breakdown, we’re out for brunch with the boys. My hand has never left Harry’s, not even when I noticed Niall and Zayn get curious about it. If I let go now, I’ll break.
We’ve ordered pancakes in the quiet cafe we’d found with management’s help and I was currently eating small bites in between joining in banter with my best friends. Niall’s on about some girl’s eyes, whereas Zayn’s clearly more interested in her cute attitude. Liam’s not interested at all, having Danielle, and Haz and I are for all intensive purposes a couple. Just…a fairly secretive one.
“Eat up.” Harry encourages from beside me, snaking an arm around my waist. No matter how many times he does that, I’ll never get used to the way it makes me feel. Wanted. No cruel fate to take it away. Just…bliss.
“Not hungry.” I mumble. Truth be told, I’m just off. There’s just something unsettling me and I’m trying to figure out what it is.
"You need to eat, babe." Harry pushes, taking my fork and stabbing it into a strawberry slice.
I raise an eyebrow, but he grins at me, that 1000 watt smile, and I forget about everyone around us. He moves the food to my mouth and I simply taunt him, keeping my lips pressed together and shaking my head.
This is what I love about my Haz. Even though we’ve gone to this whole new level of our relationship, one that both excites and terrifies me, we keep it playful. It soothes everything else, and it’s amazingly us.
"Open up Lou Lou." Harry coos, and I snort with laughter at the impatient look on his face.
Just to please him I do as he says, and he slips the fork into my mouth gently. I eat the strawberry with a smirk, ignoring the way his eyes follow my lips.
To be honest, I’m still not used to this. I don’t know if I ever will be. Harry likes me. He likes me and he kisses me and cares for me. And even though I’m a broken wreck he still chooses to like me. That’s…crazy. But undeniably, overwhelmingly amazing.
I felt my walls come down earlier on, but they were fully crumbled now. When he’d held me close and told me to feel, I did. For the first time in forever, I just let myself feel. And it hurt. It hurt and it was uncontrollable and ridiculous but it was somewhat like relief. And I’d cried, and so had he. We’ve been doing that a lot. That’s not how it used to be. But I guess a lot has changed.
"Good boy." Harry says, leaning in and kiss my cheek, staying there longer than anything platonic.
I glance around and while Zayn and Niall have for sure noticed a difference, they’re too caught up in tossing each other grapes and catching them in their mouths. Liam is glancing up at us with a smirk on his lips, and I try not to blush.
"Your turn baby Hazza." I joke, taking the fork from him and spearing a piece of pancake.
He doesn’t fight it, just opens his lips. I slip it into his mouth and he sighs as he chews it. I can’t seem to look away from the delight in his eyes, and I’m suddenly aware of how couple-y we’re being. I should care and I should stop but I don’t.
My fingers find the back of his neck and twirl a curl there. There’s nothing sexual this time, and nothing teasing. This occasion I’m caring, flicking the soft hair between my fingers and sending him a shy smile that he returns.
My phone goes off at the same time as his, vibrating in our pockets. We both pull them out and I read the message.
Ur not fooling any1, idiots. -Liam xx
I stare up at him, ready to give him a fierce look, but he’s smiling at Niall who has chocolate sauce on his nose and has no idea. That lovable idiot. I laugh, Harry having the same reaction. Zayn’s holding back a chuckle to the point where his eyes are tearing up.
"Wha?" Niall asks, and I lose my cool, turning into Hazza’s chest to laugh into his shirt.
He rubs my back while laughing himself, breath in my hair like a lullaby.
"Seriously, what?" Niall desperately questions, but we don’t give in.
Well, Liam does. Cause he’s Liam. He reaches forwards and wipes the sauce off of Niall’s nose, showing it to him to explain.
Niall just shrugs, leans in and sucks it off Liam’s finger with an amused grin. The brunette boy seems surprised at first, but then flicks Niall’s cheek and goes back to his food.
I notice that Haz and I have scooted even closer, his arm around my waist and mine still slung over his neck. It sounds awkward, but it’s incredibly comfortable and…just happy. I feel happy.
Harry seems to notice and nibbles on my ear (right cause that’s totally not out of the norm) and making me arch my back slightly.
"You’re hot." He whispers in my ear. It’s not meant to sound dirty or anything of the sort. Just a clear fact. One that I don’t believe, but say nothing and just shake my head.
"You are." He mumbles. "You’re gorgeous. I don’t deserve you as my boyfriend."
My heart stops. We hadn’t addressed it yet, and now he’s saying the word when we’re out with the boys. Boyfriend. It gives me shivers.
"I’m your boyfriend?" I ask out of surprise. It’s loud enough for us and maybe Liam to hear, but the other two remain blissfully ignorant.
I look at Harry and his eyes widen, but a smile still plays on his lips. “Mhm.” He nods. “Well, if you want to be.”
"Of course I do you twat." I grin, and tweak his hair playfully.
“Well good, I don’t think I could handle rejection form you and your fine ass.” Harry chuckles under his breath.
The sappy Haz is gone and the teasing is back. Neither is better than the other, because both are normal for us.
I roll my eyes and settle my chin on his shoulder. My lips press to his neck tenderly and I know he’s closed his eyes. I start to suck on the pale skin, feeling him hitch under me. Knowing I have this amount of control over him…. I bite down just enough for him to keen almost silently.
“You’re stunning.” I whisper in a deep tone, leaning back in to kiss the love bite.
And then I pull away, seeing the weird looks I’m getting from the boys and pull out of Harry’s grasp to stand up. I know the quickest way to change the subject and I make sure to do so.
“Who wants to get more food?”