Lost and Found
Chapter 8: It's Not My Fault
Louis's POV:
Holy shit, what the fuck just happened?" Harry blurted out while every one of us had our eyes glued to the shut door. His words mimicked the thoughts in my head. Why the hell did she just run out. The question wasn't that bad. Sure, we all were heckling her and teasing her for not answering, but it would have been the end of the world if she hadn't. I just want to know why Andi thought it was such a big deal. I mean her answer of I don't know...seriously? That's the worst answer she could have given.
"You all are a bunch of fucking assholes." Belle snarled, standing up and jabbing a finger at each of us. Lyna got up as well, moving to stand next to her friend.
"You guys are asshats and we're leaving." Lyna growled, turning around with Belle.
"What'd we do?" Niall called, sounding suspiciously remorse. Oh, right. He likes Lyna. He scrambled over to the girls.
"Are you serious Niall?" His crush said, whirling back at him. "Did you not hear yourselves?"
"It was just a game, Lyna." He cried, reaching out to brush her arm. She shook him away. Why is all of this such a big deal?
"It wasn't to Andi." Belle snapped, dragging Lyna back a step with her. Harry and Liam stood up now, moving to be beside Niall.
"How were we supposed to know that? It was a fun and games before that." Liam stated, using this to enter the conversation.
"Weren't any of you paying attention? You could see it on her face!" Belle's voice finally raised to a shout. I watched as the boys got angry, their lips slimming to straight lines.
"It's not like we've known any of you for that long! We don't know her different faces." Harry yelled.
"We should have just called security on you three long ago! It would have saved us from this mess." Niall shouted, pointing past them to the door. Whoa, this has escalated a lot in a short span of time. Maybe I should step in.
"You and Harry wanna fuck them too much to call Paul on them." I commented. Granted I probably should have lost the smirk, but too late now, right. Their faces whirled on me.
"Shut up, Lou." Harry and Niall said at the same time, but at least they weren't yelling at the girls anymore. Those two ladies looked like they were going to punch someone and cry at the same time. Not a good combination.
"I'm going to check on Andi." Zayn suddenly stated, moving past us all and exiting the room in one fluid motion. Everyone gaped at each other. No one spoke.
After all, what could we say?
***
Andi's POV:
I couldn't stop crying. It's not like I didn't try. I did. I tried everything. None of it worked. How do you stop tears when you barely know the cause. I mean the cause all has to do with the fact that I don't know a lot. Kind of ironic, isn't it?
Where am I?
I allowed my puffy eyes to wander across the surfaces surrounding me. My fingers ran across the smooth finish underneath me. I was on the stage. It was dark, pitch black actually. It was so different from earlier that night, when it was all bright and alive. It's kind of like me before and after the accident. Except here, it's flip-flopped. My past is dark and my present is bright, which is the opposite of the stage.
I just want to remember. I want to be able to recall the faces of my real parents, of my childhood friends, my favorite school teachers, and maybe even pets I had. I want to be able to see my childhood home in my mind's eye and see the memories of old there as well. I want to be able to remember my first loose tooth, my first day of school, the first time I had a crush. I want to remember how I lost it all in one night.
It's not fair. It's not just. It's not right. No one should have to go through what I do. It's like putting a blind man in the middle of traffic. You're setting them up to get hit, unless by some stroke of luck, they survive. I'm the blind man. In one night, someone put me in the middle of traffic, leaving me to fend for myself with no knowledge to help me or die. I wasn't literally in traffic, rather I was in an alley, but it's the same thing.
I now became aware of my tears. They hadn't even begun to cease. I curled my knees up to my chest, tucking my chin to the tops of them. Why can't I remember? Who would be so cruel as to do this to me?
"Andi, is that you?" a voice called out from one of the sides of me. My head shot up like a bullet, looking around desperately for the source. I just want to be left alone. Why can't anyone understand that? I got up quickly, ready to sprint in the opposite direction, where a hand grasped my elbow.
"AHHHH!" I screamed, trying to rip the hand off me. Who the hell-
"Andi! It's me. Zayn. Please stop screaming." He pleaded and surprisingly, my noise cut off instantly. I guess it's okay that Zayn is here. He's nice. And I don't think he was a part of what transpired in their dressing room.
"Sorry." I whispered softly, tears beginning to blur my vision once again. God, when I'm not screaming for my life, all I can do is cry. This sucks ass.
"Whoa, whoa. Andi, calm down. Here, let's sit." Zayn muttered soothingly, his voice the calm to my storm. My legs gave up beneath me, but at least Zayn still had hold of me. He caught me and lowered us both to the floor, letting me lean against him for support. My head fell upon his shoulder, heavy for some unknown reason. His arm went around my waist, pulling me closer to his warm torso. I sighed heavily, letting the rest of the tears fall. And like that, we stayed. His arm around me. My head on his shoulder. We sat in silence, a silence comfortable and fitting for only us. But for some reason, I broke it.
"I really don't know the answer, Zayn." I stated, my eyes staring dead ahead into the darkness, into the shadowy depths of nothing.
"Andi?" He asked, but I really wasn't listening. I was in my own world, speaking as if to someone else's will.
"It's the truth. And it's not my fault either. It's not my fault that I don't know things like that."
"How come?" He inquired softly.
"Someone made me like this. I was attacked and everything I ever knew, everything I ever saw, everything I ever thought about is gone from when I was 1 to 16." I sobbed, but Zayn just continued the circles his hand was making on my back as if I wasn't delving into my life story.
"I don't know if I'm a virgin. I don't know if I had siblings or pets. I don't know what my real parents looked like because after one night that I can't even remember, I never got to see them again. One night, one stupid night and I lost more than just my family. I lost myself. I lost my last name, my birthday, my age, my everything. All because of one person and one night." I was hopelessly lost to my tears, letting them flow in silence. Zayn finally spoke now that I had finished.
"Andi, I promise you that one day you'll remember it all. One day."
"You can't promise something like that."
"I can because I promise I'll help you do it. Whatever it takes. I'll help."
Then I was drawn into a memory that wasn't all too bad.
***
"Andi, you got another C in math?" The same boy as always asks.
"yeah, I know. Isn't it wonderful?" He glares at me as I laugh.
"You know you can do better." He says as he sits down beside me in my circle of homework and textbooks.
"Easy for you to say, Mr. Perfect." I joke, but really I'm being serious. For some reason, I know that he always gets good grades and does everything right.
"You'll get an A next time, I promise." He proceeds to say and I'm dumbfounded.
"How do you know that?" I ask even though I know he'll respond with the perfect answer.
"Because I promise I'll help you do it."
***
I zipped back to reality, my eyes locked on him. "Thanks Zayn." I replied, pretending as if I didn't just have a weird dream or memory thing happen to me. He'd never believe me anyway.
"We should have back now." He stated, making no move to get up.
"Yeah, we should." I agreed, not moving an inch, even though I knew I should.
"On three?" I nodded. "One."
"Two." I said.
"Three." He yanked me to my feet just as the word left his mouth. I yelped a little from the sudden movement, but I wasn't hurt or anything. I was just surprised is all. Without speaking, we moved off the stage, heading back to where the hallways were lit and bright. I blinked furiously, letting my eyes adjust to the light. I wonder what the rest of the guys and girls were doing this whole time. Probably playing Spin the Bottle. Oh, my devious mind always makes me laugh.
"What are you smiling about?" Zayn questioned from beside me. I turned my head to answer him. But the words died on my lips.
What the hell?
Holy shit, what the fuck just happened?" Harry blurted out while every one of us had our eyes glued to the shut door. His words mimicked the thoughts in my head. Why the hell did she just run out. The question wasn't that bad. Sure, we all were heckling her and teasing her for not answering, but it would have been the end of the world if she hadn't. I just want to know why Andi thought it was such a big deal. I mean her answer of I don't know...seriously? That's the worst answer she could have given.
"You all are a bunch of fucking assholes." Belle snarled, standing up and jabbing a finger at each of us. Lyna got up as well, moving to stand next to her friend.
"You guys are asshats and we're leaving." Lyna growled, turning around with Belle.
"What'd we do?" Niall called, sounding suspiciously remorse. Oh, right. He likes Lyna. He scrambled over to the girls.
"Are you serious Niall?" His crush said, whirling back at him. "Did you not hear yourselves?"
"It was just a game, Lyna." He cried, reaching out to brush her arm. She shook him away. Why is all of this such a big deal?
"It wasn't to Andi." Belle snapped, dragging Lyna back a step with her. Harry and Liam stood up now, moving to be beside Niall.
"How were we supposed to know that? It was a fun and games before that." Liam stated, using this to enter the conversation.
"Weren't any of you paying attention? You could see it on her face!" Belle's voice finally raised to a shout. I watched as the boys got angry, their lips slimming to straight lines.
"It's not like we've known any of you for that long! We don't know her different faces." Harry yelled.
"We should have just called security on you three long ago! It would have saved us from this mess." Niall shouted, pointing past them to the door. Whoa, this has escalated a lot in a short span of time. Maybe I should step in.
"You and Harry wanna fuck them too much to call Paul on them." I commented. Granted I probably should have lost the smirk, but too late now, right. Their faces whirled on me.
"Shut up, Lou." Harry and Niall said at the same time, but at least they weren't yelling at the girls anymore. Those two ladies looked like they were going to punch someone and cry at the same time. Not a good combination.
"I'm going to check on Andi." Zayn suddenly stated, moving past us all and exiting the room in one fluid motion. Everyone gaped at each other. No one spoke.
After all, what could we say?
***
Andi's POV:
I couldn't stop crying. It's not like I didn't try. I did. I tried everything. None of it worked. How do you stop tears when you barely know the cause. I mean the cause all has to do with the fact that I don't know a lot. Kind of ironic, isn't it?
Where am I?
I allowed my puffy eyes to wander across the surfaces surrounding me. My fingers ran across the smooth finish underneath me. I was on the stage. It was dark, pitch black actually. It was so different from earlier that night, when it was all bright and alive. It's kind of like me before and after the accident. Except here, it's flip-flopped. My past is dark and my present is bright, which is the opposite of the stage.
I just want to remember. I want to be able to recall the faces of my real parents, of my childhood friends, my favorite school teachers, and maybe even pets I had. I want to be able to see my childhood home in my mind's eye and see the memories of old there as well. I want to be able to remember my first loose tooth, my first day of school, the first time I had a crush. I want to remember how I lost it all in one night.
It's not fair. It's not just. It's not right. No one should have to go through what I do. It's like putting a blind man in the middle of traffic. You're setting them up to get hit, unless by some stroke of luck, they survive. I'm the blind man. In one night, someone put me in the middle of traffic, leaving me to fend for myself with no knowledge to help me or die. I wasn't literally in traffic, rather I was in an alley, but it's the same thing.
I now became aware of my tears. They hadn't even begun to cease. I curled my knees up to my chest, tucking my chin to the tops of them. Why can't I remember? Who would be so cruel as to do this to me?
"Andi, is that you?" a voice called out from one of the sides of me. My head shot up like a bullet, looking around desperately for the source. I just want to be left alone. Why can't anyone understand that? I got up quickly, ready to sprint in the opposite direction, where a hand grasped my elbow.
"AHHHH!" I screamed, trying to rip the hand off me. Who the hell-
"Andi! It's me. Zayn. Please stop screaming." He pleaded and surprisingly, my noise cut off instantly. I guess it's okay that Zayn is here. He's nice. And I don't think he was a part of what transpired in their dressing room.
"Sorry." I whispered softly, tears beginning to blur my vision once again. God, when I'm not screaming for my life, all I can do is cry. This sucks ass.
"Whoa, whoa. Andi, calm down. Here, let's sit." Zayn muttered soothingly, his voice the calm to my storm. My legs gave up beneath me, but at least Zayn still had hold of me. He caught me and lowered us both to the floor, letting me lean against him for support. My head fell upon his shoulder, heavy for some unknown reason. His arm went around my waist, pulling me closer to his warm torso. I sighed heavily, letting the rest of the tears fall. And like that, we stayed. His arm around me. My head on his shoulder. We sat in silence, a silence comfortable and fitting for only us. But for some reason, I broke it.
"I really don't know the answer, Zayn." I stated, my eyes staring dead ahead into the darkness, into the shadowy depths of nothing.
"Andi?" He asked, but I really wasn't listening. I was in my own world, speaking as if to someone else's will.
"It's the truth. And it's not my fault either. It's not my fault that I don't know things like that."
"How come?" He inquired softly.
"Someone made me like this. I was attacked and everything I ever knew, everything I ever saw, everything I ever thought about is gone from when I was 1 to 16." I sobbed, but Zayn just continued the circles his hand was making on my back as if I wasn't delving into my life story.
"I don't know if I'm a virgin. I don't know if I had siblings or pets. I don't know what my real parents looked like because after one night that I can't even remember, I never got to see them again. One night, one stupid night and I lost more than just my family. I lost myself. I lost my last name, my birthday, my age, my everything. All because of one person and one night." I was hopelessly lost to my tears, letting them flow in silence. Zayn finally spoke now that I had finished.
"Andi, I promise you that one day you'll remember it all. One day."
"You can't promise something like that."
"I can because I promise I'll help you do it. Whatever it takes. I'll help."
Then I was drawn into a memory that wasn't all too bad.
***
"Andi, you got another C in math?" The same boy as always asks.
"yeah, I know. Isn't it wonderful?" He glares at me as I laugh.
"You know you can do better." He says as he sits down beside me in my circle of homework and textbooks.
"Easy for you to say, Mr. Perfect." I joke, but really I'm being serious. For some reason, I know that he always gets good grades and does everything right.
"You'll get an A next time, I promise." He proceeds to say and I'm dumbfounded.
"How do you know that?" I ask even though I know he'll respond with the perfect answer.
"Because I promise I'll help you do it."
***
I zipped back to reality, my eyes locked on him. "Thanks Zayn." I replied, pretending as if I didn't just have a weird dream or memory thing happen to me. He'd never believe me anyway.
"We should have back now." He stated, making no move to get up.
"Yeah, we should." I agreed, not moving an inch, even though I knew I should.
"On three?" I nodded. "One."
"Two." I said.
"Three." He yanked me to my feet just as the word left his mouth. I yelped a little from the sudden movement, but I wasn't hurt or anything. I was just surprised is all. Without speaking, we moved off the stage, heading back to where the hallways were lit and bright. I blinked furiously, letting my eyes adjust to the light. I wonder what the rest of the guys and girls were doing this whole time. Probably playing Spin the Bottle. Oh, my devious mind always makes me laugh.
"What are you smiling about?" Zayn questioned from beside me. I turned my head to answer him. But the words died on my lips.
What the hell?
Notes
OHMYGAWD! The boys are kind of assholes in the beginning, but whatever. I promise you'll like them more later. So Zayn and Andi... hmmm keep in mind Zayn's dating Perrie in this book. So it's all a bit...strange isnt it?
1. What will happen between Lyna and Niall?
2. What happened at the end with Andi and Zayn...when she went to answer his question and didn't?
Love you all
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Izzy <3
Andi is Andria! I just have this feeling! She resembles her, and both boys says she reminds them of her!
2/5/14