The Girl with the Purpled Streaked Hair

"Harry Styles' fingers were inside of you?!"
Pink heat immediately covered Lori's face and she quickly buried herself into the couch pillow that rested on her bent knees. Her stomach started to churn, making Lori feel nauseous from the amount of humiliation she was experiencing, but Christine continued to laugh at her uncomfortable reaction from the question. Lori and Christine were sitting on Lori's couch together, their feet resting on the cushions as they leaned against the arms of the sofa. Christine had been throwing question after question at Lori until she finally decided just to give Christine a short summary of her adventurous weekend with Harry; easily the best weekend of her life. She had gotten home late the night before and she remembered dragging herself to her bedroom at one in the morning before collapsing on her bed from sheer exhaustion.
"Christine!" Lori whined into the pillow before looking up at her best friend.
"How was he?" she asked curiously, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Lori curled her clothed toes inwards as her fingers played with the seam of the pillow. She couldn't forget the way Harry had made her feel, touching her in a way that made her heart pulse quicken with excitement just thinking about it. Her shoulders did a quick shrug, Lori still not meeting Christine's gaze.
"He was.., y-you know, um-"
"Amazing?" Christine suggested with a quirked eyebrow. Lori nodded as her cheeks became pink again and shyly smiled, making Christine squealed. "You're blushing!" she gushed.
"Shut up," Lori muttered before throwing the pillow at Christine.
"Okay, so he fingered you. What next?"
The desperation in Christine's pleas made Lori smile. These weren't how their boy talks went. It was usually Christine giving Lori the lustful details of whatever boy she had spent the previous night with. Lori had never gotten why Christine always made such a big deal of it, but as she continued to recall that night she understood. Maybe the boys Christine had been with made her feel just as significant as Harry did with Lori.
"Well, I was supposed to go home the next day, but then he invited me to the movie premiere for-"
"This is Us!" Christine squealed, "I saw your pictures on the internet and girl you looked hot!"
"My picture's on the internet?" Lori asked, totally shocked by how fast teenage fans worked.
"Yeah, you're everywhere. You don't have a Twitter, right?"
"No," Lori answered slowly as she shook her head, "why?"
"Good, it's a nasty place. #thegirlw/thepurplestreakedhair has become a world wide trend, Hun; you're becoming famous. So how was the premiere? Did you see loads of celebs?"
"It was really fun! Everyone was really nice, especially Eleanor. She-"
"You hung out with Eleanor?!"
"I could just not tell you," Lori said sarcastically. Christine pulled an imaginary zipper across her mouth, broke it off, and threw it away. "The premiere was amazing and later that night Harry asked me if I wanted to fly to New York with them. He's so...spontaneous." Lori shyly smiled to herself for a second before continuing. "While we were in New York we went to the beach which was perfect since the weather was great. He, um, asked me to be his girlfriend," Lori admitted sheepishly.
"You realize what you have to do now, don't you?" Christine asked in absolute seriousness.
"What?" Lori questioned, shocked by the sudden change of behavior from Christine.
"You need to listen to every song, learn all the lyrics, buy anything with their faces on it, learn their history which is just the normal birthday and where they live-"
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Lori exclaimed as she held up her hands like she was going to surrender, surprised by the speed Christine was talking at. "I didn't even know you could talk that fast. I'm not going to study them like they're my favorite subject or anything like that," she declared with a wide smile.
"Oh yes you will! You're gonna have to put some posters of them on your wall and kiss Harry's face on a daily basis."
"I'm not going to get any posters," Lori stated a matter-of-factly.
Christine narrowed her eyes and tried to appear as intimidating as a petite, blonde eighteen year old girl wearing Hollister sweatpants could be.
"When it's two in the morning," she said in an eerie tone, "and you're fast asleep in your bed, I'll sneak into you room and cover every inch of it in One Direction posters."
Lori scoffed at her threat, but ended up laughing and Christine joined in. Christine squealed, still excited for her best friend and Lori smiled at how giddy she was. She felt like a pre-teen girl giggling in the bathroom about some cute boy. Their laughter was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and the two girls turned their heads in surprise. Lori's mom walked in, her eyes looking extremely exhausted. When she spotted the girls she stopped in her tracks, not really sure how to react. All three of them let the uncomfortable silence fall upon them.
"I think I'm gonna go now," Christine said as she slowly got up from the couch, "I'll see you later Lori."
Christine walked out the door, but Lori's mom stayed still. Slowly, Lori got up from the couch and crossed her arms over her stomach. Lori hadn't spoken to her mom since the night she bailed her out of jail. No one really talked to each other in the house, when there wasn't yelling it was silent. Lori remembered all those Mother Days she'd make her mom a card and it'd be found in the trash a few days later. She didn't blame her mom for being so cold to her, she knew her dad was the cause of her constant silence.
"I, um, I'm just gonna go unpack."
"Unpack?" her mom gave her a questioning look. "Where did you go?"
"England, Mom," Lori let out an exasperated sigh. "I told you I wasn't going to be around for a few days because I was gonna go visit a friend of mine."
Her mom shook her head. "No you didn't."
"Yes, I did," Lori stated, "I told you on Monday and I left Friday."
"Oh," her mother replied simply. "Well, welcome back."
They parted ways from there, Lori headed to her bedroom and her mom heading to her won. Lori shut the door behind her and placed her luggage on her bed. As she began to unpack she thought about how her mom had welcomed her back. That was probably the most affectionate thing she had said to her in over ten years. She couldn't help, but notice that her mom said "welcome back," instead of "welcome home." Her house wasn't her home, she didn't have one. Home is where you're supposed to feel safe and comfortable. There was only one place in the entire world Lori felt safe and that was Harry's arms.
When all of her clothes were back in their drawers Lori picked up the photo strip of her and Harry. A gentle smile spread across her face as her eyes scanned the small pictures of his beautiful face, bringing back memories of that night. Lori wondered if the pictures in her hand were already on the internet somehow, but she didn't care if they were; at least she had the original copy. She walked over to her mirror, broken from the night her dad rampaged through her room. Thick, jagged cracks made her image disoriented and when she walked up to it she slowly slid her index on one of them as if she were testing it's reality. She stuck the picture in the top right corner of her mirror and stared at it one more time before turning away.
***
"Coach, I'm really sorry, but I can't try out this year," Lori said into her phone as she paced around her bedroom. "I know you've taught me everything I know....I need to grow up and get a job so I can get money for my own place....I know I'm only eighteen, but I'm just not going to be able to have the time...Yes, I'm sure professional athletes get paid lots of money, but I'm pretty sure I won't make it to the pros...It means a lot that you think I'm an amazing player and thank you for coaching me into one....I'm sorry I just need some time off...Yes, I love the sport...Thank you for understanding...I'm sorry too."
As soon as Lori was off the phone she fell back on her bed, staring at the boring white ceiling. It killed her to tell her coach that she wouldn't be able to play soccer that season, but she wanted to have some free time to herself and to look for a job. And if Harry had time off and wanted to spend time with Lori she didn't want any commitments that she wouldn't be able to focus on. An annoyed groaned came from her mouth as she heard her phone again.
"Coach I'm not changing my mind!" she yelled in frustration.
"Change your mind about what?" asked a deep, raspy voice that definitely wasn't American.
"Sorry Harry," Lori apologized into the phone as she rolled onto her stomach, "I thought you were my soccer coach. What's up?"
"You alright, Baby? You seem a little tense."
Lori smiled at his worried behavior and nodded, but then remembered he couldn't see her.
"Yeah, I'm fine. How are you? I've missed you."
"I miss you too, three weeks is too long. How would you like if I flew out to visit you?"
"Could you do that?" Lori asked surprisingly, her eyes lighting up with excitement.
"Anything for you," Harry chuckled. "What are you doing next Thursday? I have a day off."
"Nothing that I know of. Now I'm just gonna be thinking about next Thursday every second."
"Me too," Lori heard some mumbles from the background of wherever Harry was and she heard him say her name faintly. "The lads say hi."
"Hi lads! Guess what I started doing two weeks ago."
"You started to train for a marathon."
"Eww, no. Think more talkative."
"You've started your own radio show."
"You're awful at this game," Lori playfully teased, "And I'm afraid you've run out of guesses."
"I only get two guesses?" he asked in disbelief, "That's rubbish. Go ahead, tell me what you've been doing."
"A friend of Christine runs a seminar for depressed teens who are trying to get better. We met at a party and when she told me about it I just got so excited that I asked her if she needed any speakers. She told me that I should try it and if I impressed my first crowd I could become a regular."
"So your first crowd was like an audition?" Harry questioned.
"Basically. Hannah, the girl who runs it, told me I was great and now I speak for an hour every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night. I love it so much."
"You talk to a crowd for an hour?" Harry asked in astonishment, "Honestly, I'm impressed, I wouldn't think you'd be all that keen to do public speaking."
"I hate the public speaking part, but I love watching the teens' faces when I talk."
"That's wonderful, Lori. Sorry love, but I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Bye Harry."
***
Harry walked into Lori's unlocked house, knowing her parents weren't around since there weren't any cars outside. He had texted her a few minutes ago, asking her what she was doing and when she answered just sitting at home he knew he could sneek over to surprise her. The rush of surprising Lori made him grin like crazy. He imagined Lori jumping off her bed to hug him and when they would kiss it would ignite fireworks because they hadn't seen each other in such a long time. He walked through the familar hallway to get to Lori's bedroom, but stopped right outside her door when he heard crying coming from behind it. The sobs were obviously Lori's, he recognized her voice as she kept muttering "stop crying," to herself over and over again. Unable to take anymore of it, Harry opened the door. Lori was sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the wall, and her hand was covering her mouth. Her face was wet from the stream of tears rushing down her cheeks.
“Harry!” she yelped as she sprang to her feet, but quickly turned around so he wouldn't see her crying.
"Lori, what's wrong?" Harry asked worriedly as he got closer.
"I-It's nothing. I'm f-fine. Just go and I'll be out in a second, o-okay?"
Her voice was shaking and it sounded so fragile Harry was afraid that if she talked too much it would shatter. It was rare to see Lori cry and whenever she did she'd hide it from everyone. Harry remembered when he had first seen her cry and how she kept telling him she was okay even though she wasn't. He hated feeling so useless when she wouldn't let him make her feel better. It was like she relied on no one, but always tried to make everyone else happy.
"Please don't do this," he begged.
"Do what?" Lori asked as she turned around, trying to restrain her tears.
"Refuse to let me help you. It's like you don't want me to do anything as you cry your eyes out. I'm your boyfriend, I can't just stand here and watch you be so devastated and not try to make you feel better. You won't even tell me why you're upset." Harry could feel his patience slipping with every word. He didn't want to be ignored by Lori when she miserable, he wanted to help her. "I care about you Lori. Do you know how hard it is to see someone you have so many feelings for cry and you can't do anything about it? It's gutting."
"Harry, I'm not even that u-upset. It's, uh, just my period, that's all. I'm just all hormonal and I saw o-one of those sad animal commercials where they-"
"I know it's not your period, Lori. There's meaning behind those tears. Tell me the truth, please," Harry begged desperately.
"Harry I can't."
"Don't say you can't. You always do this, Lor. You're so focused on fixing everyone else that it's like you completely ignore your own issues and refuse to fix yourself. It's like your own happiness is less important than others'."
"I don't need fixing!" Lori shouted as the tears furiously ran down her cheeks. "I don't have issues, I don't need help, and I'm not broken. People aren't toys, Harry, I don't 'fix' them, I help them. I help them because I didn't have anyone out there trying to help me when I was feeling exactly what they are feeling, but these people are reaching out because they don't want to feel empty anymore. They have a thousand times more courage than I ever did because they're seeking help and change. No one should go through this kind of stuff alone because, trust me, it messes you up."
Now Lori's entire body was shaking and she looked so furious Harry wondered how much he could push her buttons before she would truly explode. Lori wasn't the only aggitated one though, Harry was pissed and his fists were clenched so tight that his knuckled were white like snow.
"Just because you say you're fine, Lori, doesn't always mean you're fine," Harry shot back as he walked closer to her, "I know how good you are at burrying your feelings so deep down inside of you that you even convince yourself that they're gone, but they're not. They're still there. I've seen you plaster on fake smile after fake smile and hold your breath till you're blue so you won't cry or pretend you're having a good time when really all you want to do is go off and be alone. There's no doubt in this entire universe that you've fixed yourself a billion times and that you're the strongest person I know, but just because you're not completely destroyed doesn't mean that there aren't new cracks. You're right, Lori, we are people and people are constantly breaking and getting damaged and that's why we fix each other. Let me help you. Why do you refuse to admit that sometimes you need someone? That sometimes something is wrong?"
Harry watched her anger slowly slip away until she looked utterly defeated. Her eyes were on the floor and her breathing was extremely quiet. She had given up on trying to hold back her tears and they freely fell down her face. She finally looked back up at Harry and she was still shaking. All Harry wanted to do was hug her and let her know that he was there.
"Because if I admit there's something wrong then that means I have a problem," Lori said quietly, her voice sounding more fragile than before. "I can't afford anymore problems. If I tell someone I need them, they say they'll stay, but they eventually leave. Everyone does."
Harry walked closer and put his hands on her cheeks. They covered up the sides of her face and his thumbs wiped away her tears. He knew she didn't like to admit it, but when Harry looked into her eyes he knew she was broken. No matter how many times she'd build herself back up somehow she'd get hit and break again.
"Not me. I'm not leaving, not now, not ever. Trust me, let me care about you, let me in. Don't push me away because no matter how hard you try to get rid of me I'm not going anywhere."
"Martha's sick," she whispered fresh tears rolling down her face. "She's in the hospital."
Harry pulled her into a tight hug and Lori burried her face into his t-shirt, making it wet the moment she made contact. Hearing his heart was comforting and she wrapped her arms around his waist just to get closer to him. Lori never wanted to let go, but when she tried to Harry just squeezed her tighter and continued to hold her, silently telling her that he'd never let go.

Notes