You Said I Wouldn't Get Hurt
Prologue
Today it's been equally one year since Louis and I broke up. It all happened very quickly. We were so happy together and suddenly he was kissing another girl, and after all I still have feelings for him but I don't wanna admit it even to myself. I've seen him only once or twice after my break up because seeing him makes me wanna scream and shout, smile and cry, love him and hate him and the most of all, kiss him. I went for a walk, but right now I'm sitting outside in some stupid park because I have nothing else to do. I don't have a boyfriend and I'm dreaming about my ex. "What a wonderful life" I think out loud. Some little kid with a brown hair looks at me, he reminds me about Louis. "Of course I'm just thinking of him at our 1 year ...break up anniversary?" I continue thinking and get up. It's kinda sad that I had an amazing relationship with maybe the most amazing boy I know and it only lasted for half an year, but what can I do? He kissed someone else and I couldn't take it. I don't wanna go home yet because I have so much more things to think, so I continue my little walk.
"I actually don't even know why we didn't talk about that kiss.. I can't stop blaming myself! What if I wouldn't left.. We'd still be together? No, I can't do this to myself, why do I keep thinking about him and NO I don't have feelings for him anymore...I think... But how happy would we be? This is better for me, I swear" I think. It was that one chilly summer night. I was at Louis and Harry's houseparty. The whole One Direction was there and there were Harry's and Louis' friends too, boys and girls who I didn't know. At first you had quite fun time hanging with the 1D boys, especially with Zayn because he didn't want to dance either. Harry and Louis were busy with talking to their friends. Out of One Direction Zayn was the closest to me, after Louis of course. While we were talking, Louis was dancing with some people, including some of his and Harry's slutty looking friends. It looked like they didn't even have clothes on. "Those bitches.." I mumbled jealously to Zayn and he just laughed. "Don't be scared Bree, he really loves-" Zayn was saying but something stole his attention. I turned your head, and when I looked at the same direction as Zayn I saw Louis kissing one the "slutty girls". I felt tears streaming down my face and I was frozen. As soon as Louis realized that I were looking he stopped. He ran right to me and tried to take my hand but I was already moving. I was lost in a really familiar house and I couldn't think about anything. Somehow I got outside and started running. I ran as fast as you were able to imagine. Five minutes later Louis was outside too but I was far away, almost home. When I got there I stormed to my bathroom. I looked like a mess; I had mascara all over my face, I was sweating, I was crying like I've never cried before and most of all my hair was a pure mess. I collapsed on the floor and texted Zayn: "WHAT IS THIS ZAYN, TELL ME! YOU SAID I DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED!" I already knew that the party was over because of what happened and the boys were somewhere together, maybe coming to my house. "It's over, don't you even dare to talk to me" I texted Louis and turned my phone off. I tried to get up but I felt so dizzy so I decided to crawl to my room and wish for this nightmare to end... After that day and night there was no Bree and Louis. Of course Louis tried to explain everything during the next few days and Zayn tried to call to me but I didn't want to listen to them or talk to them, especially to Louis. All I wanted to do was forget everything Louis and I had. I wanted to die... Then the first time I saw Louis again was 3 months after everything when I was somewhere in London. He was with Harry and they said Hi to me but I didn't respond. Second time was when I went to their backstage after one of their concerts in London because I wanted to see the other boys and talk to them. I've been talking with Zayn a couple of times besides that London thing. He's still a good friend of mine but I don't see him that often. He once said that Louis regrets everything he did and misses you so much but you didn't care, because I still tried to forget everything, including my feelings. And here I am now. One hard year has gone by so slowly and I'm missing everything I had with Louis and the boys. Now im standing right in front of my house, ready to go inside and take a shower.
I drop my towel on the floor when I come to my room after a long shower. I put on my favorite t-shirt, which Louis gave to me and shorts. "So much beautiful memories.." I sigh and walk downstairs. My phone vibrates as I get a text message from Zayn, "Hey Bree what r u doing tonight?" I read out loud. "What the heck Zayn.. Why is he texting to me.." I think but answer "Nothing.. about to go to bed soon." I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer "He's probably laughing at me because I'm going to bed at 9 pm at friday" I say and decide to go to bed. The clock is ticking and I can't sleep. It's almost 11 pm. I still remember that I saw Louis kissing that bitch at 11:07 I wanna be asleep till that. I start to fall asleep sooner than I think, but then something wakes me up. Someone's singing outside..
"Look me in the eyes, I tell you I love you.
Hold on tight, and show me what you care about.
I need nobody else when I’m with you.
But now when you’re away, I miss you.
Tell me how to win your heart without crying.
Tell me what I gotta do if you come back.
‘Cause I know what I did,
And yeah I know that you’ve suffered;
I’m the one to blame.
Without you nothing is the same..
I saw your tear-filled eyes when you saw me kissing.
I didn’t believe it before you ran away.
You know this hurts, and only you can save me.
What you’re gonna do? I wish I knew..."
It sounds like... LOUIS. I grab your phone and look at the clock: 11:07pm. Now I know why Zayn asked what was I doing. I run downstairs and then outside. A part of me wants to kiss him and take him back right away, but a part of me wants to punch him right in the face and tell him to 'fuck off'. Instead of those choices, I say: "L-l-louis.. Wh-what are you doing here..?" I'm shaking. He looks at I with tears in his eyes. "Bree It's been one year since I was an total idiot for the very first time with you".I don't know what really happened.. I think it was.." I cut him off: "I don't wanna know what happened, I know what I saw and that's enough... What you're doing here?" "I'm sorry. I need you more than anything. This year has been so tough for me.. I wanted to call you, but I didn't wanna bother you.. And now-" His voice breaks and he falls to the ground, crying. Now my eyes are getting teary. I sit down next to him and stroke his back, trying to comfort him but at the same moment I'm trying to think what to do now.. "Louis?" I say weakly. "Bree." He answers but doesn't look at me because he already knows that I'm going to ask him leave. "I love you Louis" I whisper and start to cry. He slowly lifts his head up and looks at me in the eyes. Then he stands up and gives me his hand, I take it and he helps me to stand up too. Within one second he kisses me and the tears starts streaming down our faces. After a long kiss he hugs me tight. "I love you too Bree I have always loved you. Please be mine again, I can't live without you anymore.." I kiss him as a 'yes' and then we go inside. We spend the night together in eachothers arms, only silence is talking<3
"I actually don't even know why we didn't talk about that kiss.. I can't stop blaming myself! What if I wouldn't left.. We'd still be together? No, I can't do this to myself, why do I keep thinking about him and NO I don't have feelings for him anymore...I think... But how happy would we be? This is better for me, I swear" I think. It was that one chilly summer night. I was at Louis and Harry's houseparty. The whole One Direction was there and there were Harry's and Louis' friends too, boys and girls who I didn't know. At first you had quite fun time hanging with the 1D boys, especially with Zayn because he didn't want to dance either. Harry and Louis were busy with talking to their friends. Out of One Direction Zayn was the closest to me, after Louis of course. While we were talking, Louis was dancing with some people, including some of his and Harry's slutty looking friends. It looked like they didn't even have clothes on. "Those bitches.." I mumbled jealously to Zayn and he just laughed. "Don't be scared Bree, he really loves-" Zayn was saying but something stole his attention. I turned your head, and when I looked at the same direction as Zayn I saw Louis kissing one the "slutty girls". I felt tears streaming down my face and I was frozen. As soon as Louis realized that I were looking he stopped. He ran right to me and tried to take my hand but I was already moving. I was lost in a really familiar house and I couldn't think about anything. Somehow I got outside and started running. I ran as fast as you were able to imagine. Five minutes later Louis was outside too but I was far away, almost home. When I got there I stormed to my bathroom. I looked like a mess; I had mascara all over my face, I was sweating, I was crying like I've never cried before and most of all my hair was a pure mess. I collapsed on the floor and texted Zayn: "WHAT IS THIS ZAYN, TELL ME! YOU SAID I DON'T HAVE TO BE SCARED!" I already knew that the party was over because of what happened and the boys were somewhere together, maybe coming to my house. "It's over, don't you even dare to talk to me" I texted Louis and turned my phone off. I tried to get up but I felt so dizzy so I decided to crawl to my room and wish for this nightmare to end... After that day and night there was no Bree and Louis. Of course Louis tried to explain everything during the next few days and Zayn tried to call to me but I didn't want to listen to them or talk to them, especially to Louis. All I wanted to do was forget everything Louis and I had. I wanted to die... Then the first time I saw Louis again was 3 months after everything when I was somewhere in London. He was with Harry and they said Hi to me but I didn't respond. Second time was when I went to their backstage after one of their concerts in London because I wanted to see the other boys and talk to them. I've been talking with Zayn a couple of times besides that London thing. He's still a good friend of mine but I don't see him that often. He once said that Louis regrets everything he did and misses you so much but you didn't care, because I still tried to forget everything, including my feelings. And here I am now. One hard year has gone by so slowly and I'm missing everything I had with Louis and the boys. Now im standing right in front of my house, ready to go inside and take a shower.
I drop my towel on the floor when I come to my room after a long shower. I put on my favorite t-shirt, which Louis gave to me and shorts. "So much beautiful memories.." I sigh and walk downstairs. My phone vibrates as I get a text message from Zayn, "Hey Bree what r u doing tonight?" I read out loud. "What the heck Zayn.. Why is he texting to me.." I think but answer "Nothing.. about to go to bed soon." I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer "He's probably laughing at me because I'm going to bed at 9 pm at friday" I say and decide to go to bed. The clock is ticking and I can't sleep. It's almost 11 pm. I still remember that I saw Louis kissing that bitch at 11:07 I wanna be asleep till that. I start to fall asleep sooner than I think, but then something wakes me up. Someone's singing outside..
"Look me in the eyes, I tell you I love you.
Hold on tight, and show me what you care about.
I need nobody else when I’m with you.
But now when you’re away, I miss you.
Tell me how to win your heart without crying.
Tell me what I gotta do if you come back.
‘Cause I know what I did,
And yeah I know that you’ve suffered;
I’m the one to blame.
Without you nothing is the same..
I saw your tear-filled eyes when you saw me kissing.
I didn’t believe it before you ran away.
You know this hurts, and only you can save me.
What you’re gonna do? I wish I knew..."
It sounds like... LOUIS. I grab your phone and look at the clock: 11:07pm. Now I know why Zayn asked what was I doing. I run downstairs and then outside. A part of me wants to kiss him and take him back right away, but a part of me wants to punch him right in the face and tell him to 'fuck off'. Instead of those choices, I say: "L-l-louis.. Wh-what are you doing here..?" I'm shaking. He looks at I with tears in his eyes. "Bree It's been one year since I was an total idiot for the very first time with you".I don't know what really happened.. I think it was.." I cut him off: "I don't wanna know what happened, I know what I saw and that's enough... What you're doing here?" "I'm sorry. I need you more than anything. This year has been so tough for me.. I wanted to call you, but I didn't wanna bother you.. And now-" His voice breaks and he falls to the ground, crying. Now my eyes are getting teary. I sit down next to him and stroke his back, trying to comfort him but at the same moment I'm trying to think what to do now.. "Louis?" I say weakly. "Bree." He answers but doesn't look at me because he already knows that I'm going to ask him leave. "I love you Louis" I whisper and start to cry. He slowly lifts his head up and looks at me in the eyes. Then he stands up and gives me his hand, I take it and he helps me to stand up too. Within one second he kisses me and the tears starts streaming down our faces. After a long kiss he hugs me tight. "I love you too Bree I have always loved you. Please be mine again, I can't live without you anymore.." I kiss him as a 'yes' and then we go inside. We spend the night together in eachothers arms, only silence is talking<3
Thank you I'm leaving tomorrow.
11/7/13