On Friday afternoon I can't do anything but sit on the floor of my room and stare at my opened wardrobe. I'm still in my school uniform and I haven't moved since I first came into my room and sat down, which was over an hour ago.
Sam's party is tonight and I have nothing to wear- but that's not what I'm thinking so deeply about.
Harry didn't show up today for school and neither did Niall. It's not like I was hoping that Harry would, I couldn't care less what he does. But I did happen to notice when he didn't pick me up this morning when he told me he would. I'm not at all surprised that he didn't hold up his end of the bargain, he won't ever change.
But even at school today, even though I knew he wasn't there, I still looked. And I dubbed myself masochistic.
Sam was with me at the times that he could be, between classes and after school. Emma winked at me and gave suggestive eyebrow raises whenever he walked up to talk. But just like me, I knew she was wondering why the sudden attraction that Sam had to me. I mean, the most popular guy in the school like Sam just doesn't just start hanging out with an invisible girl like me.
But I'm not one to question it. Take what you can get, mum always says.Jack and Sam seem to get on just fine I've noticed. Ever since Sam helped him out on Wanda, they've been like best mates. Emma also enjoys Sam's company and he doesn't have a problem with her, but then again, who does?
But yet, even with Sam by my side, sapping up most of my attention. I still found myself looking out of the corner of my eye for Harry. And then I remembered when Sam fixed Jack's car on Tuesday, when he told me that Harry is involved with gangs.
And I still can't get my head around it.
But with the type of people he hangs around, the death of his parents, the big house and the amount of money that he has plus how easily he can get into fights. It's getting a little easier to believe.
Only a little.
A abrupt bang against my window jolts me out of my brooding time. With my heart pounding due to the sudden noise, I look wildly to my window. I get up to stand and gaze out the glass. Since I'm two stories up, through my window I can see over Harry's backyard fence.
A bunch of Harry's friends, the hot ones that I met before at his house, are playing football in the massive stretch of land that Harry owns out the back of his home. The guys are swearing and yelling banter at one of the boys that kicked the ball over the fence and into my window.
I look down and see the ball resting in the shade on the inside of our part of the fence. I sigh when one of the guys spot me peering down. They wave to me.
"Can you get the ball!?" One of them yells. Before I move, I check to see that Harry isn't there with them. I see that he's not, but that's not to say that he won't be in the house.
I nod to the boys and then disappear from my window.
I head down the stairs, walk through the kitchen and out the front door. Picking up the ball, I consider lobbing it over the fence and walking back inside- but for some reason I want to see if Harry's there.
So I walk around and enter his backyard by the side gate.
I've always admired Harry's garden as a kid. It's so big and so green. Tall, proud trees stand against the back fence, their thick leaves almost hiding the wall from sight. The strong branches had been perfect for climbing. There is a small ponds off to the side corner of the yard, probably empty of the koi fish that used to live there.
I know Mrs Styles always loved her garden and used to spend many hours out here, tending to the plants and flowers whilst she would watch us kids play.
I toss the ball to the group of boys spread out on the bright green grass. One of them looks up and I realise that it's Niall.
"Thanks!" He shouts and kicks it to a boy on the other side of the lawn. The two other guys sitting on the grass don't get up. One of them smiles at me, the boy I recognise that was talking to Harry at my soccer game.
"Hey, I'm Louis," he introduces himself.
"Hi. Mia." I point to myself and then feel stupid because I know that he knows my name already.
He laughs, "Yeah, I know. You're Harry's neighbour."
I nod, "Unfortunately." I then curse myself because I'm here talking to his friends. The other guy next to Louis snorts and I blush.
"Harry's not that bad, really," Louis justifies with a smile and I shrug and sigh hopelessly. Having nothing to say in response.
"Where is he then?" I say after a moment of silence.
"He's out," the other guy says, watching Niall and his friend kick the ball.
"Yeah?" I sit down on the grass with them, "Doing what?" I try not to sound interested or curious in anyway. The boy shakes his head and shrugs. He doesn't know.
I find this suspicious because Harry has four guys over at his house and he's not here and his friends don't even know where he is. But then he did say people would be living at his house.
I can't be be bothered figuring this out, I think.
"He'll be back later tonight, if you wanna see him," Louis offers kindly and I find that I'm beginning to like him.
I shake my head, "I'm out, sorry." Louis and the boy next to him share a glance.
"You wouldn't happen to be going to that big party tonight, would you? The one that kid Sam's throwing?" Louis asks, looking at me funnily. I frown and nod, "how'd you know?"
Louis' friend makes a sound between a groan and a hum- a sound that puts you on edge. He shakes his head and looks away. I watch him with a confused expression on my face. Niall's friend whistles low, obviously they've been overhearing.
"What?" I ask, looking around at everyone.
Louis leans in a little bit, "Look, Mia. Do yourself a favour and don't go tonight."
I frown and lean back, distancing myself. This is getting a bit weird. "Why?
"Cause, Sam's a dick," the guy who's kicking the ball with Niall says and I look at him.
"Zayn's right, Sam can screw himself," Niall adds in. These kids must be out of their minds, if they can say that about Sam when they're hanging around with people like Harry.
"Sam's really nice," I disagree, wanting to stand up for my friend even if it was a really weak argument. They all scoff and snort and I don't say anything.
"He wants you to think he's nice," the boy next to Louis tells me, "He just wants something from you."
And by something he means... I shut the rude voice in my head up. "Just don't go tonight, Mia," Louis speaks and I stare at him. Wondering what he knows that I don't. I sigh and stand up, having enough of all this.
"Yeah, alright," I say not in a yeah alright, I won't go way, but in a yeah, alright. I don't care way.
I'm still going to that party. I've decided that I don't give a shit if Sam is a nice person or not. I'm going because I want to. I want to have a good time and I want to enjoy myself.
I dust myself off and ignoring the concerned looks I am getting from Louis, I bid them all goodbye and head back to my house where I pick up the phone and dial Emma.
~~~
We can hear the music from streets away. Our windows are down and the almost non- existent wind ruffles my hair and licks at my bare skin. Jack, Emma and I all have all squished into Wanda and are driving down Sam's street. We have to park houses away due to the queue of cars lined up outside the massive structure which is Sam's home.
I step out of Jack's car and dust off the dog hair collected on my dress from Jack's backseat.
"Argh, did we have to take your car?" I groan, inspecting the black dress that I borrowed from Emma.
"We could have taken Emma's car," Jack swings at Emma and she huffs. "I'm sorry that it's at the repair shop. Wasn't my fault that man hit my car."
"As I remember, you backed into him. When you dropped your makeup," Jack replies and Emma huffs again. "You weren't even there."
"Didn't need to be, you told me how it happened at least ten times."
"Guys!" I shout at them both and they look at me, "Let's just go, okay?"
We make our way up the long flight of stairs outside leading up to Sam's house. It's set up high on a hill at the end of his street. The house is beautiful, set with white columns and a wrap-around porch and balcony. People are standing on the decking, looking out over the houses. The people that we know wave to us and we wave back.
"Damn, nice house," Jack says in awe. I feel a little sad for him because I know his house is three times smaller then this and at least five times uglier and at home, all he's got is a single mum and an old Labrador.
It must be hard for him to go to such a prestigious school filled with such rich kids when he has almost nothing.
Emma and I barely manage to get up the stairs in our heels. We're greeted at the top with hugs from friends at school. Jack tells us he's gonna stay outside with his friends and Ben who I notice does a double take at Emma who's wearing a black midriff top and her cut off denim shorts.
I swear his eyes almost fell out of his head when he saw her stomach piecing.
Em and I both go inside and are almost overwhelmed by the amount of people inside. The stairs leading up to the rooms above is clogged with people sitting and drinking. The sofas in the living room and chairs at the kitchen bench are filled with bodies.
At least everyone is drinking, half of everyone is dancing and a third are making out.
Holy shit.
Emma folds her arms across her chest and smiles. She's seen more of these scenes than I have and I can tell she approves.
"You drinking tonight?" She yells at me over the music. I shake my head wordlessly. My mum honestly wouldn't mind much if I did drink. But when I went over to Harry's house earlier today, when Louis warned me about Sam- well I want to be sober.
Just in case.
"Alright, I won't be drinking much tonight either. Mum doesn't know I'm out. I can't come home wasted." Emma smiles and then takes my hand and pulls me into the crowd of dancing bodies.
I laugh as Emma swings her hips and runs her fingers in her hair. She laughs as I stand there watching having no idea what to do.
"What are you doing?" She shouts, "Dance!"
I try to move like she does, I find myself snorting at my awkward movements. Emma laughs also and thank god she isn't looking for a boy tonight because we give up on the sensual dancing and move on to mucking around.
For a while it was just the two of us, giggling and laughing at our own failures, dancing like fools in our tiny space. But eventually a tall boy saw Emma and grabbed her hips, pulling her to him. Emma looks over her shoulder and smiles apologetically.
"Go find Jack!" She shouts and then turns back to the boy. I sigh, having gotten used to being treated like this before. Emma's a nice girl, she just likes guys. A lot.
I push out of the crowd in the living room and come out on the side of the kitchen where I find Jack almost immediately.
He isn't that hard to miss. Laughing and sculling cups of beer as if it was the last day on Earth. Beside him, chuckling and slapping him on the back, is Sam. There is two pretty girls laughing and clapping, leaning over the counter, letting their cleavages drop low enough to leave less to the imagination.
I walk over to the small group, a concerned look on my face. "Mia!" Jack raises his cup in my direction and Sam smiles at me.
"Hey," I greet them wearily. Jack is drunk and Sam's not stopping him from drinking more. Instantly my mind goes back to what Harry's friends said.
"How much alcohol have you had?" I shout at Jack and he shrugs.
"I dunno. Forgot." His worlds are slurred and I roll my eyes. We've only been here for an hour and he's already shitfaced.
"He's been throwing them back for a while now," one of the girls offers me, like she's helping. She smiles at Jack, admiringly. I almost feel sick. I throw at glare at Sam who raises his hands like he had nothing to do with it.
I walk up to Jack and snatch and empty his cup in the sink before he can say anything. I refill it with water and hold it out to him expectantly. He groans and his shoulders sag and he gives me a look.
"Fucking drink it, Jack. You can't go home drunk, what would your mum think?" I shout over the music and then Jack glares at me, like I said something wrong. I stare at him and then just when I'm about to ask him what's wrong, Sam comes around and tugs me away.
I let him pull me up the stairs and into a dark corner where it is a little more quiet.
"Did you get him drunk?" I accuse him when he looks at me. It's a mean thing to say to someone who has only been nice to me but I've been thinking a lot about what Louis and the others told me.
Sam looked at me with disbelief and I find myself regretting what I said, but I don't apologise. Sam runs a hand through his blonde hair and sighs.
"Look Mia, I can imagine this will be hard hearing this from me, but Jack's kinda going through lot of shit right now. He's just trying to loosen up, release the stress from home."
Now it's my turn to look at him with disbelief. "What are you talking about? If Jack was having problems at home he'd tell me. No offence, but I have known him longer then you."
More like almost my whole life, I add on mentally.
If Jack was going through and 'shit' then I'd be the first to know, before Emma. Before anyone.
"Look, I'm just trying to help him-"
"By chugging him with alcohol?" I interrupt, "if he goes home drunk that would make it even worse for the shit that he's going through." Sam then smiles at me and I notice how close we are. I can feel his warm breath on my face and I can see the blue colour in his eyes.
"You know, you're kinda cute when you're angry," Sam murmurs and steps closer to me.
Downstairs I can hear some kind of commotion, perhaps a fight. People are cheering and yelling but in my mind, I can't hear any of it. My mind is too full with the feeling of Sam's fingers as they brush my hair out of my eyes.
I can't speak and I'm finding it hard to breathe. I've lost my train of thought completely.
"I was just trying to help Jack. Leave it to me, he can crash here if he needs." Sam's talking low, over the sound of the loud music and the roar of people downstairs, I almost can't hear him.
Sam hands cup my face and then he's kissing me. His lips are soft and firm against mine, pressing down and slightly parted.
I'm too stunned to anything. I just kinda stand there awkwardly. My first kiss- taken by my crush. Sam's moving his lips against mine, trying to get a reaction out of me, but I don't know why I can't. I'm like a statue.
My eyes are wide open and I know that's bad. I like Sam and he knows how to kiss, I just can't-
I hear someone stomping up the stairs and a curly head appears. My heart leaps to action and my stomach turns horribly. I shove Sam off me forcefully when Harry's eyes fall on us kissing in the corner.
With my face burning, I speak, "Harry, what are you doing here?"
Harry's green eyes flicker dangerously between the both of us. The air around him is aggressive and angry and yet be says nothing.
"Get the fuck back here!" Someone shouts from downstairs and I hear them run up the stairs. One of Sam's friends, the redhead, reaches the top of the stairs next to Harry and freezes when he sees Sam and I.
I notice that the redhead, who's name I still don't know, has a bloody cut lip and a bruise beginning to darken around his right eye. I look down to Harry's clenched fists and I see a spot of blood. They were the ones fighting downstairs.
"Get the fuck out, Harry. You weren't invited," Sam sneers and I don't like the tone in his voice.
"Why are you here?" I ask Harry in a much calmer way.
"Louis said you'd be here." His voice is gruff and raspy and I feel a shudder run through me. I step away from Sam and he places a hand on my bare shoulder, silently warning me not to get too close. Harry's eyes are trained on that hand and I swallow down the rising bile in my throat.
"Well here I am." Harry looks back up at me and he reaches out a hand. "Good, let's go."
"Oh, she's not going anywhere with you," Sam snaps and I turn to look at him watching Harry. A deathly glare in his eyes. I step out of Sam's reach but I don't go anywhere near Harry's.
"I'm not," I tell Harry, "but I'm also not staying here." I walk past him and the redhead on the stairs and head down.
My mind is spinning and I feel like I'm in a daze. I see Jack in the kitchen, he's vomiting into the sink, the girls have left and he's alone. I approach him, feeling so sorry for him, but at the same time angry that been he's keeping something from me.
I pat him on the back when he washes his mouth out.
"Jack..." I start but he holds a hand up. "I'm gonna stay here tonight, I've texted mum, she thinks I'm staying at Ben's."
I nod sadly and I realise that Sam was telling the truth about how Jack has something going on. Something that I don't know about.
Jack pulls out his keys and sloppily hands them to me. "Oh, no. Jack, I'll just get a ride home from someone else."
To be honest I'm not the best driver and Wanda just isn't gonna help my skills. I didn't want to crash Jack's pride and joy. Especially when he is already looking as sad as can be.
Jack nods silently and I hug him close. He wraps his arms around me loosely and in my ear he apologises, "I'm sorry." I step back and smile at him sadly.
"Sober up, mate," I tell him before turning away to find Emma. I push through the crowd of dancing people three times before I see Harry walking down the stairs. He still looks angry. Seems like he and Sam talked something out.
His eyes find mine immediately and so I walk out the front door and onto the porch- not wanting to talk to him. It is much less crowded out here and in the warm night air, I can breathe and think. I check my phone for messages and I find one from Emma.
Emma: I left to go get 'pizza' with Michael. I'll tell you all about it at school.
I sigh with frustration at Emma's text. God, this really isn't my night. I feel a presence behind me.
"Looks like you need a ride," Harry rumbles, he has obviously read the text over my shoulder. Turn around and look up at him.
"No I don't," I lie. I would walk home, in the dark, at this hour before I get into a car with him.
Harry laughs but its humourless. "Mia, all your friends have gone."
I glare at him even though it's true. I'm not really that close with the people still at this party, it'd be kinda awkward to ask anyone to drop me home.
God, really wish I could take Wanda now.
I look around me, just to avoid Harry's staring eyes. "Fine," I start, not looking at him, "but you're just dropping me off."
I didn't see Harry smile when he took my hand and lead me down the steps. I almost fall a coupe times in highheels but he barely notices. Harry walks me a little while up the street where he's parked. But I don't see any car. Just a very shiny, deadly looking motorcycle.
Oh, fuck no.
"No," I say firmly, shaking my head and taking a step back, raising my hands to my forehead in a motion of stress. Harry picks up a helmet from his bike and hands it to me. I don't take it. I shake my head at it.
"This is not a car," I mutter.
"I didn't say it was." Harry stares at me, the helmet still outstretched, hanging in the air. I can see that he's in no mood to mess around with me but I can't care less. If I get on that bike, it's a death sentence. Oh god, my mother would be all for it. She'd want me to get on it.
Live life on the edge, she'd say. Take a chance, Mia
I look back to the house and then at Harry. After a long moment of silence I step forward to take the helmet from Harry's grasp.
"Please don't kill me," I whisper to no one in particular. Harry swings onto the bike and looks back at me holding onto the helmet and staring at him with wide eyes. To my surprise, Harry smiles. His dimples showing as he glances at me.
"You'll be fine, just put the helmet on."
I let out a shaky sigh but lower it on my head and over my hair that I straightened so perfectly. I step up to the bike and throw my leg over the seat. I settle into the space behind Harry and awkwardly place my hands on his waist.
I try not to notice the heat radiating from Harry's clothes, or how nice it feels to sit this close to him. I swallow nervously, I'm pretty sure Harry can feel the quick pace of my heart pounding from my chest into his back.
"I thought you had a Lamborghini," I mumble stupidly, trying to distract myself from everything.
"I do," he tells me, "but I don't get this close to a girl in it." Before I can get angry at his cockiness, Harry starts the engine and we shoot down the street.
I gasp and my arms wrap all the way around his waist as I clutch onto dear life. A little scream passes up my throat as the engine roars beneath us. I feel Harry laugh as we pass the houses in the streets, trees and streetlight blurring past.
Hot wind skims over my bare arms and legs, my dress material flapping against my skin. The noise of the engine drops to a hum and I find myself relaxing. Harry feels good with my arms all wrapped around him. I can feel his body and heat and to my surprise, I like it.
We shoot through the traffic lights and I smile.
It's nice, traveling like this. With the feeling of the wind on your skin and being this close to Harry, I don't know it's pleasant, I guess.
After a short while Harry shouts over the engine, "You're quiet back there!" I can hear the smile in his voice and I grin.
"It's pretty sweet!" I come out with and once again I feel Harry laugh.
All too soon, Harry sidles up next to my drive way. He slows to motorcycle down to a stop and I step down. I take the helmet off and shake my hair out. When I hand the helmet back I can see Harry's trying to hide his growing smirk.
"What?" I ask, my hand raising to my hair and wondering how bad it really looks.
"You're cute."
Normally I would have been embarrassed by the comment but all I could think of when Harry said that was what Sam said before he kissed me, and then I remember the fight that Harry got into and the way that he looked after Sam kissed me and that left me feeling empty.
I squint at Harry a little before stepping away. "Okay, um."
"Mia, let's not do this," Harry notices my sudden distance and steps off his bike to face me. I don't know why but the feeling of fear seizes me.
"Where were you today?" I squeak, anything to change the subject. Harry frowns at me suspiciously under the dull lighting of the streetlamp.
"I was out, what were you doing at that party?" I avoid his eyes,
"I'm not allowed to go to a party?" I snap.
"You can, just not one where Sam is at," Harry folds his arms over his chest and watches me. I glare at him.
"Are you kidding?" I ask him incredulously. Harry's eyes flash at my defiance. "Does it look like I am?" No he doesn't. He's leaning against his bike, arms crossed over his chest, his green eyes pinned on me. He doesn't look like he's kidding at all.
Then a massive wave of anger surges through me. The whole night has been a disaster and here Harry is, being a prick once again. Telling me what I can and can't do.
"Do not order me around like I'm a child," I tell him as firmly and hard as I can. Jesus Christ who the fuck does he is?
"You're sixteen, Mia."
"Yes, exactly! Old enough to make my own decisions!" I snap. I'm now so pissed off. Where the fuck did that come from? Who gives him the right to order me around like I'm his possession?
"Well you're definitely not mature enough to make them," he tells me, his voice ice cold and hard as stone.
"What?" I step close to him. He barely blinks at our proximity he just stares down at me with those unmoving green eyes. Whoever said that Harry is actually a nice guy is screwed in the head.
"Tell me, do you even like Sam?" His voice drips with disdain and he sneers.
"A heck of a lot more then you," I snap angrily.
"You must really hate me then." His sneer grows into a cruel smile and I find my face reddening for some strange reason.
"You have no idea," I tell him, not sure who I'm trying to convince, me or him.
"I don't believe you." I can feel his fast breath on my face and I'm breathing just as hard.
"There's a fine line between love and hate, Mia."
I flinch and frown, "What are you saying? That I love you?" Now I'm just confused, what is he trying to say?
"You have feelings for me, admit it." Harry grins but it isn't nice, it's carnal and wicked. I step away, fear rising in my throat.
"You're full of shit, Harry."
He steps forward to match me, "Am I?"
Not for the first time I think about how we got onto this conversation to begin with, I mean. How did this even start?
"When you were kissing Sam were you thinking of me?" Harry's voice is raw and raspy and it's making my heart pound. Two seconds passed before I registered Harry's words.
"No," I gasp but instead of sounding defiant, I sound desperate and whiny. Harry takes another step toward me and I take one back.
"You seemed stiff when you were kissing him, was he not a good kisser?" In my right mind I should have realised that Harry's baiting me, but due to the given circumstances I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
"He was, good," I splutter, my face blushing so red. I take another step back and Harry moves forward, that wicked grin still plastered on his face. Then he moves in close and peers down at me.
"What'd it feel like, Mia? To have his lips on yours?" Harry's voice has dropped audibly lower, almost a whisper that fills my ears. I look at him and notice that he's looking at my lips and my heart skips a beat.
"Did he kiss you like he meant it?" He whispers and my breath shudders.
"I don't know." I'm almost trembling beneath his gaze. I feel caught in a net, prey to a predator, a moth to a flame. I have no idea why he does this to me, but boy does he do it well.
"Would you like me to?" He murmurs, looking back up into my wide eyes. My lips part in surprise and I find myself nodding. Fuck, how I want to kiss him. I think I have from the start, he's just been to much of a dick for me to get around him.
Instead of cupping my face like Sam did earlier, Harry fingers lift my chin up to him and he leans in. But before our mouths touch he whispers something to me, "Kiss me like you mean it."
And I do. I swear I almost attack him. My mouth is on his in a second. A week of pent up sexual frustration at this boy explodes. Unlike Sam's kiss which was sweet and short this one's hot and long. His mouth slides over mine and I feel his tongue sweep over mine- and I swear I almost die right there.
I throw everything I have into this kiss, which isn't a lot seeing as this is only my second kiss and I have no idea how to do it, but hell do I try. My limp hands that were hanging at my side grab onto Harry's face, pulling him closer to me. My fingers twine themselves into his air as my tongue rolls with his.
Then I realise who I'm kissing.
Harry Styles, as in the jerk who orders people and around and gets into fights. Who hangs around with dickheads and is a disrespectful pervert.
I break away with a gasp and without thinking, I slap Harry hard. He splutters and laughs a little.
"Jesus baby, we've got to get you out of that habit." His green eyes are glowing with victory and pure masculine pride.
"What did you just call me?" I gasp, completely outraged.
Ohmygod, I just kissed Harry. WHY? WHY WOULD I DO THAT? He's a disturbed creep, and I've only known him for a week! Emma and mum would love this, they'd applaud me. I can never tell them. Ever.
"I think you heard me." He grins and I have the urge to slap him again, "And I think you liked it."
With a small 'hmff' I kick Harry in the shin with my high heel before turning and running inside my house.

Notes

All credit goes to doily