HANNAH’S P.O.V.

The drive home was a blur. Louis being older than Jess and I is actually quite a blessing. He has more freedom than us and his parents would prefer the driver to take him into the city, so we didn’t have to worry about driving home under the influence. His parents don’t ask questions and it works out best that way. We spent the rest of the night with Niall at the show and didn’t leave the city until two in the morning.

Niall. Louis was right. He is different than what I’m used to. In the best way possible. He wasn’t pushy and didn’t expect anything. I felt like for the first time, I was spending time with someone just because I wanted to. My mom would disapprove, but I really don’t care. Nothing monumental happened after the kiss that wasn’t really meant to be a kiss. We danced and talked and it was just...refreshing. That’s the best word I can use to describe Niall. Refreshing.
It took a while to get out of the city and now it’s almost three. Thank god my mom goes to sleep early and her room is far away from the front door. I’m not worried about her finding out what time I got home. She’s been in a daze since my dad left this morning to stay at a hotel until he flies to France. I know I should be more empathetic, but I really needed tonight. It was a lot of fun; which is saying a lot, because I never have fun in that environment. I just needed to loosen up.

“Aren’t you glad you came, Hannah?”

I look over at Louis who is sitting on the opposite side of the roomy backseat, Jessica sleeping on his shoulder.

“Absolutely. It was a lot of fun. Thanks.”

He grins sleepily and rests his head on the window next to him.

“What’d you think of Niall?”

“He’s great! We really got along.”

“Wow. Hannah got along with a guy? I think we need to celebrate.”

I chuckle as he does a goofy victory dance.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I don’t even know him really. We just had a little chemistry. Nothing to get excited about.”

He’s still smirking.

“Uh huh. Well, I’ll be meeting up with him sometime this week to get more green. After tonight, I’m almost out.”

“So he goes with you to buy pot?”

He laughs and looks at me questioningly.

“Wait, you’re serious? I thought you knew.”

What is he talking about?

“Knew what?”

“Niall sells it to me! That’s how I even know him. Well, we met once at a party and he started selling to me and then we ended up hanging out a bit more. He’s a nice guy.”

Niall sells drugs? He definitely did not come off as the type, but what do I know? I smoked for the first time tonight. But, isn’t selling... dangerous? I would feel naive and stupid to be asking the questions I was if it was anyone besides Louis.

“I didn’t know he sold drugs.”

He laughs again and rolls his eyes.

“He doesn’t sell drugs. He sells weed. It’s not a big deal and he doesn’t really sell in large quantities. Its just kind of a side thing to get him through school.”

That sounds like the life. Selling pot to get through school. I stare out the window as I think about this new information.

“Oh, come on Hannah. I thought you were trying to live your life. Don’t give up on him because of his profession.”

It’s my turn to laugh.

“I wouldn’t consider selling weed a profession.” I look out the window again and think some more. “And I am trying to live my life, but-“

“But nothing, Hannah. You said it yourself. You two had chemistry. Have you ever had chemistry with a guy? Ever?”

No.

“Of course.”

He glares at me and I know he didn’t buy it.

“Fine, okay. I felt chemistry and no, I haven’t with anyone else. Just drop it for now, I’m not dating a drug dealer.”

He sighs and argues once more as we pull up to my house.

“Not a drug dealer!”

“Whatever. Bye, Lou. Give Jess a hug when she wakes up. Love you guys.”

“Bye, Hannah. Love ya, too, you rebel, you.”

He winks and I step out of the car. As the driver pulls away, Louis rolls down the window and yells to me.

“JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE!”

His voice trails off as the car rolls away and I chuckle as I turn back to my house. The front lights are on, just like any other night and I walk up to the door, pulling the key out of my wallet and slipping it into the keyhole, slowly turning it to the left. Even though my mom is sleeping across the house, I feel the need to be quiet. I carefully shut the door behind me and lock it before walking into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. My mouth is terribly dry and I blame it on the mixture of beer and weed. When I open the fridge, the light eliminates the kitchen enough for me to see a little bit of movement to my left. I walk over and turn on the ceiling lights to find my mom sitting on a barstool, her face riddled with anger. Her presence makes me jump on the inside, but I’m too tired and out of sorts to really react.

“Mom-“

“Hannah Eloise Kensington. Do you know what time it is?”

Eloise. It always makes me cringe. I don’t really want to argue with her, but her arms are crossed and it just makes her look pompous and rude. I feel out of sorts and impatient.

“Three in the morning.”

“Good to know you can tell time. Where were you?”

I went to the city, smoked weed, and got drunk.

“I went to the city.”

“For? With?”

Fun. With my stoner friends and a drug dealer.

“For a concert. With friends.”

“So, with Louis and Jessica?”

I don’t know if saying yes will comfort her or make her want to call their parents. I take my chances.

“Yep. I don’t have other friends.”

Besides Niall. Is he my friend? She seems slightly relieved, but she hasn’t uncrossed her arms. I can tell that the lecture is coming. I can also tell that I’m not going to hold back.

“Hannah, you can’t be doing this. You have a reputation to uphold and I don’t want everything you’ve worked for your whole life to go down the drain.”

“How would that happen? I just graduated! Today was my eighteenth birthday! Thanks for remembering, by the way. I’m just trying to have a little fun! What is so wrong with that?”

“I didn’t forget your birthday. It’s just been a rough day. There is nothing wrong with having fun if it is the proper type of fun. Going to the city and going to clubs is not proper, young lady.”

I roll my eyes and try to think of a way to get through to her.

“Mom, first of all. I know it’s been a rough day, okay? And I’m sorry, but guess what? I’m losing dad, too! I’m sad, too! I’m just trying to handle it in a different way. I’m trying to make a change! I don’t wanna live every day pretending he’s on business trips. I don’t want to go to stuffy parties and hear people whisper behind my back. Yeah, we had a good reputation, but dad already ruined that! Don’t you see? I’m not trying to hurt anyone! I’m just trying to live my life!”

She is appalled by my tone and she stands up, walking over to me with her fists balled at her side.

“Don’t you dare talk to me that way. You are an ungrateful child and I don’t understand how you could be so hurtful to your own mother.”

I know I went too far by bringing dad into this, but I don’t want to be the strong one and I can’t seem to bridle my tongue. I can’t control what I’m saying anymore. I always pretend to be okay for her and maybe it’s the worst time for me to do so, but I’m finally being honest.

“I’m not trying to hurt you, mom. I love you and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I just can’t keep living this life that has never appealed to me. No offense, but I don’t want to be a housewife in a mansion with paid help. I want to move to the city, live in a tiny apartment and go to school for something I love.”

She looks at me like I’m an idiot.

“You can go to the University here. You can’t go live on your own like a cheap whore. That’s not who I’ve raised you to be-“

“A whore? How does being independent make me a prostitute? I don’t want to end up in an unhappy marriage, raising children to live the same cookie cutter life I had! It’s such bullshit! What kind of life is that?”

I know that my words cut like a knife. I just described her life with negative connotations. I just told her that I don’t want to be her. I feel bad as soon as I let it pass my lips, but I can’t stop. She pretends to ignore my insults and starts to shoo me towards the stairs.

“Hannah, I won’t hear any of this. You need to go to bed. You have tea tomorrow at the Sinclair’s.”

“What? I’m not going to the Sinclair’s for tea.”

I brush her off. She’s being outrageous.

“Yes, you are. Harry wants to see you.”

“MOM! I’m not getting back with Harry!”

“Hannah, he is a nice, respectable young man. You will hear what he has to say and you will be polite.”

I know what she means by polite. He’s a prominent man. She wants me to kiss his feet and beg for his mercy.

“No, mom. I’m not going to see him.”

“YES, YOU WILL! IT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CARRY ON THIS FAMILY’S LEGACY!”

Her voice booms and my eyes go wide. She has never yelled like that. In my entire life. She flattens her nightgown and takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and trying to compose herself. I feel tears coming and I try to fight them, but I am beyond angry. I speak without thinking twice and it makes me feel free in a nauseating way.

“I met someone tonight and I already like him a hell of a lot more than I’ll ever like Harry. He’s poor too, mom. He lives in Brooklyn, but he’s a real person, unlike the robots we associate with. I hate this town and I hate you!”

I turn and start to rush to the stairs. She doesn’t follow me, but I hear her yelling as loud as
before.

“GO TO YOUR ROOM!”

“I AM!”

I slam my door once I get inside and collapse face first on my bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

Happy Birthday to me.

Notes

Thank you to those of you have started reading this new story <3 I hope you like it. It's the beginning so it's still not that exciting, but I'm really excited! This is what I picture Hannah's house looking like :) Also, I'm going to add her mom to the character's list so you can see her too!

Please comment any feedback <3 xx