The Wanted Girl

Sophia's POV:
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. I had been repeating this to myself for the last five minutes, convincing myself that this was good. That this would be okay. That I had NO reason to be nervous, he loved me, he was fighting for me. He wanted this. So why the fuck was I so god damn nervous? I loved him, he loved me. This was simple. Okay, so simple was an exaggeration. This wasn't simple, none of this had ever been simple. I should have just kindly told them 'no' at the diner in Belfast. I should have gone home after that awkward little run in and had that been the end of it. I shouldn't have gone out with them to get back at Nathan and my brother.

I should have just done what I was supposed to do, maybe things would be more simple. Fucking SIMPLE. Word of the day, word of the month, word of the year, word of my fucking life. Word I'll never understand. Word I'll never get the pleasure of experiencing. But I loved my life, I loved my family, I loved my friends, and I loved him. So what was the big deal? Who needs simple when you have not just one, but two people who love you to the moon and back. I'm not the one who was supposed to feel sorry for themselves. I was going to break a heart tonight. Not them. I was going to get what I wanted, either way. They weren't. I was all in all being selfish. It needed to end. I couldn't wait any longer. I needed all of this to be over.

So I knocked.

Or at least I thought I did. Clearly if I had, it wasn't very loud. Because after three and a half minutes, I was still standing outside, freezing.

Maybe this was a sign? He wasn't home. He hadn't answered. Maybe I should call Brielle and see if her and Harry want to hang out tonight? Or Liam? Or even Connor? I could go to Oxford. That sounds like a MUCH better idea. Drinking could help me think my life through. You know, drunk words are sober thoughts?

But I didn't. Instead, I knocked again. This time, much louder.

I heard his footsteps and my heart was relieved, thank God.

He opened the door slightly and peeked his head out, revealing his beautiful wide eyes to me, "Sophia?"

I smiled sheepishly, "I made my decision."

He opened the door all the way, "Come in, it's freezing out there love."

I walked past him and over to the couch, settling myself with my knees to my chest. He sat on the other end of the couch, looking at me with anticipation.

"How are you?" he asked.

I smiled politely, "I'm alright. Nathan's a bit shaken up, but I'm okay."

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, "Tell him I'm sorry, yeah? Over reacted. Just got a bit over protective."

I smiled and rested my head on my knees, "S'okay. He knows you just want to protect me."

He nodded and I noticed the prominent frown etched on his face, "That's all I want."

"It's you," I mumbled.

"What?" he asked.

"It's you Zayn. It's always been you," I said, more clearly.

He smiled and moved over on the couch, pulling my into his strong arms. I relaxed in his grip, but something felt wrong. He seemed like he was comforting me. I was okay. I was there with him. It was okay now.

I felt him tighten up against me, letting out a sharp, muffled breath, "I'm so sorry."

Sorry? I pushed myself off of him and turned to him, grabbing his cheeks with my small hands, searching his eyes for something to tell me that I heard him incorrectly. He blinked and a tear fell from his eyes.

"What are you talking about Zayn? This is good, we can be together."

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, forcing my hands back by my lap, "No Soph, we can't."

I felt my breath hitch and all of the air felt like it had been sucked out of the room, "W-what?"

"I'm so sorry," he said again, tears falling freely.

"Why!" I screamed, more at the universe rather than him.

"But I love you. I love you Zayn, so much."

He just shook his head, removing the words from his heart.

"Why," I whispered, "just tell me why."

"You're not mine, you never were," he said.

What the fuck is going on?

"Yes! I am yours. That's the point! I'm yours now! This is what you wanted! This is what everyone wants! Us together. This is what I want. Please," I begged.

But I knew. Somewhere deep down I knew that my pleading wouldn't change anything. For some reason, he wasn't going to give. But I needed that closure. I needed to make sure I had done everything I could to make this right. It was just too late. I was too late. Zayn wasn't mine anymore. Maybe he never really was.

"I'm so sorry Sophia. I do love you, please don't think I don't love you," he begged.

"Then why are you doing this. I don't understand! I'm yours, you're mine. Just tell me what's going through your head. If you loved me, you'd be with me. It's not that fucking hard to understand!" I screamed.

He just covered his face with his hands, breathing deeply before looking back at me. He looked so... broken. I couldn't understand why.

"I'm not...." he whispered.

"What?" I replied.

"I'm not yours Sophia. And you're not mine," he stated.

I could see in his eyes he was lying. The words didn't sound real. They sounded forced, fake even. I felt my entire face getting hot. Those words, maybe not true, still fucking stung. 'I'm not yours Sophia.' It's what everyone had been trying to beat into my head the last few months. But I didn't believe it. 'he's not yours Soph.' 'you're stealing your dead best friends fiancé.'

I didn't know what to say at that point, how do you counter that?

"Any other bomb you'd like to drop on me?" I asked, sarcastically.

"I'm so sorry," he said again.

I shook my head, defeated.

"Don't tell me you're sorry, because you're not."

I walked to the door and heard him follow behind me. I turned and stared at him, waiting for some sort of confirmation that he didn't mean any of what he had just said. But he didn't. He just stared at me with this sad, heart broken look on his pretty fucking face.

I took a deep breath, "Just one question. If you knew you weren't going to want me back, why would you make me choose?"

He walked towards me and grabbed my face, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. I felt his shaky breath hovering over me, and a tear, not belonging to me, fell down my cheek.

"Because," he murmured, "I had to know for myself what you would have done if everything was perfect."

I pushed him off of me and covered my mouth, "I have to go."

I didn't even give him time to recover from that. I just bolted. I didn't know where I was going. Brielle and Harry would've just been a shit show to deal with, being that Harry wanted me with Lou and Brielle wanted me with Zayn. Bri would've probably ended up killing Zayn in his sleep, not that I could've argued with her logic. I wasn't sure how Liam would react, but I felt it better to leave him out of it. Connor was too far away, I wasn't going to make that drive in the state I was in. My brother and the boys... that was just an all together no.

That only left one person.

Louis' POV:
"No, Haz. She's not here," I reiterated for the thousandth time to my idiotic 'best friend.'

"Well... have you talked to her?! Shhhh babe I'm talking to him now," I heard him say to his bird.

Can they stay out of anything? No, probably not.

"No! Her bestfriend got accused of rape tonight. Harry that's kind of a big deal. I doubt she's even going to worry about us right now. I wouldn't."

"Fine," he huffed, "Well call me if anything changes."

I hung up the phone and laid back on my bed. Jesus Christ. This was my fucking life. My exes bestfriend got accused of raping my bestfriends girlfriend? What is this, a soap opera? No of course not, this is the magical life of international pop star, Louis Tomlinson. I swear the world has the most bizarre sense of humor.

I had gone back and forth in my head, deciding on whether or not to call and check on Soph. But after I sucker punched Nathan, maybe I shouldn't. I'm not even sure if I did it because of what was said. I think it was more because Zayn was just holding him there. He was like, totally wide open. So I hit him. It was a long time coming too. I mean, he stole her virginity and acted like there would be no repercussions.

But this was more than that. Yeah, I hated Nathan. A lot. But Sophie loved him. He was really important to her. And not that I know him very well, but Soph doesn't seem like the type of girl who makes BFF's with rapists. And he didn't strike me as creepy, just a prick.

I heard a faint knock on my door and groaned. I swear to God if it's Liam I'm going to freak out. After his little phone call earlier, begging me to hangout with him and for the millionth time of me saying 'no Soph might come over' he said 'Well fine maybe I'll just show up'. I got the feeling he was kidding, but still. I couldn't handle an in depth conversation about my feelings tonight.

I looked through the peep hole to see my Sophie standing with her arms crossed, shivering, with her dark makeup running down her face.

I opened it as fast as I could, undoing the fifteen locks on the door. I didn't waste any time pulling her into my chest and letting her sob uncontrollably. I lifted her up and she snaked her legged around my waist, allowing me to carry her to my bed. I tried to put her down and release her, but she just held on tighter. I climbed into the bed, resting her lightly next to me.

"Sophia love, what's wrong?" I begged.

She just cried harder. Sobbing. She was sobbing. If it were physically possible to hear a heart break, you could've heard both of ours.

I brushed her hair out of her face and she nuzzled into my chest, clutching onto my shirt for dear life.

"Baby, please tell me what happened," I said again.

"I... I... I fucked everything up," she sobbed.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her impossibly closer. I shushed her soothingly, hoping to calm her down.

"You could never fuck everything up," I promised.

"But I did, I ruined everything," she cried.

I looked down at her in horror, I'd never seen her like this. This wasn't my Sophia, this was someone I'd never seen. This girl was broken. She was heart broken. Which only meant one thing, I wasn't the first person she had gone to.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" I demanded.

She just sobbed even louder, gripping my shoulders almost painfully tighter.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured.

She looked up at me, finally, "Remember when you told me you'd always be here for me? If I ever needed a friend?"

I didn't really remember ever saying it, but I didn't doubt that I did. I always would, no matter how much it killed me.

I nodded in response.

"Well I really need a friend right now."

I kissed her forehead and she began to cry again, "I love you Sophia George."

"I love you too, Louis Tomlinson," she whimpered.

I was dying to hear those words. But the reason I was hearing them made me furious. I was going to fucking kill him. He had ONE job. He was given ONE job from me. If you get her, fine. I'll respect that, I'll let you be happy. Because it would make HER happy. That's all I wanted was for her to be happy. I told him that I would be okay with their relationship. On ONE condition, don't fucking break her heart.

Notes

Harry girls read this story I'm in love with: Back For You it's new and perfect :)

xx, elle