Lately, I was in the bad mood. The competition was getting higher every single week, and I was so close of the finale! School wasn’t really interesting either… Some girls spent their time trying to get in the boys’ pants, by showing almost their whole bras, giggling at their jokes, and trying to be as mean as they could with us, just to be appreciated. Orh! I wish I could just tell them the whole truth, about how the boys see them, and especially that there is nothing attractive in that behavior! But I can’t.. It would be mean, and I don’t want to fall so low. I’m better than that! At least I think… But I’m quietly waiting for them to make a mistake and talk badly about me, and now, they’ll see what I can do! I’ve got the feeling to be back in high school! I thought the time of gossips, and stupid arguments gone forever! But it seems that the human being needs all those stuffs!

Fortunately, this is Saturday today! I woke up a bit happier than the rest of the week, knowing that I could let go all the tension from my shoulders, that I will feel lighter on stage, while I’ll be singing. But I’m a bit nervous too.. I know that every Saturday, I can leave the show, and that it can be over forever. But the excitement I feel when I get ready is nothing compared to the fear! What a feeling! It feels like I was breathing for the first time since a long, long time! I thought I was doing this just to see how far I could go, but this is obviously more than that: I need it! I really need it! And now that I know what it feels like, being that free, I don’t think that I’ll be able to go back to my normal life! All the unsaid things in the “real life” are said in songs. After all, isn’t it why we’ve got lyrics? To express our feelings, to scream our pain to the rest of the world! And it’s definitely the most beautiful to tell it! Shouting at someone isn’t that appealing…

I arrived at the studio, and it felt like home! I say hi to some guys I start to know well, and head to my room. Throwing my bag on the couch, I left to go and look for the other contestants. We’ve become pretty close friends, more than I’ve been with my schoolmates! But we’ve got the music in common, and we really get well along together. I truly like these guys. I find them already on stage, doing singing exercise. Megane is on the floor, playing with her microphone. I love this girl! She’s a friend from a childhood friend of mine, and we became real friends! I really can’t imagine this competition without her! It wouldn’t be the same, and I certainly would be realllly depressed if she left! But for now, we’re both here, we should enjoy these moments! Antoine and Mickael are learning lyrics they should’ve forget (every week, they forget their lyrics during the rehearsals! Fortunately, it never happened during the real show!). Jules is checking the sound of his guitar, while François is mimicking him with his own instrument, his bass. During this time, Leonardo and Coralie are playing on their phones. Obviously, Leo won again. This kid is the best at video games! It’s just the 8 of us. The last 8, that are going on tour during the summer. It’s going to be amazing! These guys have been my friends since almost three months, and tonight four of us will leave the show. Which the half of it! It’s huge! I’m sure that I’ll be one of them.. But for now, I’ve got to work! With Coralie, we are both mentored by Mika, and we worked a lot together. He really helped me to make my voice more powerful, to get a good sound, without sounding like a pig which is killed. It was really hard at the beginning trust me!

Mika arrived, and sat on his chair, while the other judges went directly to their talents (contestants of the Voice ;) ) Mika nodded, and the song started to play all around us. I was handed a microphone, and I tried to remember the lyrics. Ok, I’ve got them! Let’s rock this place!
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for meeee….

I wasn't able to sing it! I did this song a million times before today! It was the ususal training song! I’ve listened to it since I was 8! What the hell is wrong with me?! I tried to sing the following part, but I sounded like a balloon which is emptied of its air! You know, this annoying sound you do near the ear of the person you want to annoy! That was my voice. Today, just before certainly the most important show so far! I couldn’t sing! Mika didn’t move, but seemed to be listening to someone right behind him. He was frowning, which means he was really focusing on what somebody were telling him. This person put one hand on Mika’s shoulder, and I think that I spotted a cross tattoo. My eyes went wide, knowing only one person on earth that had this tattoo, and hands looking like this one. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be here. Mika then stood up, walked right to me, and asked me if I was okay. I wasn’t. I let stress having a hold on me, and I ws seriously on the edge of tears. I wouldn’t be able to sing tonight.. I will be standing in front os this crowd, which will certainly boo me, and throw tomatoes to me. No doubt about it! And tomorrow, in the newspapers, I will be known as the girl who can’t sing, and who made fun of herself in live in front of the France! God, my family will be watching! My little cousins!! I just want them to be proud of their cousin! Fortunately, we don’t have the same name, so they could avoid the shame. Oh my god I’m going to be ridiculous!

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t realize that Mika left and come back few seconds later. Meg was in my back, trying to calm me down, while the tears were rolling down my cheeks. Coralie was holding my hand, and everybody was trying to reassure me. I was doing an anxiety attack, and furthermore, I was blocking everybody! Oh I suck!
Mika quietly told me :

-You will be ok in a few seconds, I think that it’ll help you to relax.

As he ended the sentence, the first notes of one of my favorite songs filled the room. Then, his voice started to sing, after the few instrumental seconds. “Written on these walls are the stories that I can’t explain.” I breathed deeply, as I kept watching behind Mika’s seat. And this time, my mind was fulling me. Harry was standing here, with a shocked but happy smile on his face. I didn’t have time to wonder what was going on, that Mika gave me an explanation:

- He thought that listening to a song you might like could help you. But he didn’t know that it would be one of his.

I quickly glanced back at the former spot where stood Harry a few seconds ago, but he was gone. I really have the feeling he’s a kind of guardian angel sometimes. Well, he already looks like an angel, so…
And he was right. I felt that I could fight an army. I was back on track. The guys helped me to stand up, then I asked to the musicians, if we could start the song again. He agreed, and I kept my microphone firmly in my hands.

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
( And the reason is you ) x3

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is youuu…

Yeaaaah ! I did it! But just before I could appreciate the feeling, I heard :

- Charlotte ?

I turned around, I saw the last people I thought would come here.

- Justine ? Qu’est-ce que vous foutez là ? (What the hell are you doing here ?)

Notes

Nothing yet? Do you at least like it so far?
Hope you will enjoy this chapter! xx