Free Fall
Acceptance
It's here! It's here, it's here, it's here, it's here! Oh fuck... it's here...
If it's here that means... I could have gotten rejected. Oh, God... Come to think of it the package was kind of light... what if I don't get in?
"You can do this, Nikki. Just breath." I finally got the courage to walk away from the mail box, clutching my package for dear life. Clutching my package, laugh out l- now is not the time to be perverted!
Oh, right...
Why am I talking to myself?
I shook my head, clearing my mind and shut the front door behind me. I made my way to the kitchen table. I sat down and chewed the inside of my cheek, staring down at the sealed manila envelope, debating whether to open it or not.
Be positive... think positive Nik... just breathe.
I decided to stop thinking. I closed my eyes and ripped open the envelope. Once the letter hit the kitchen table, I read and re-read the words, over and over.
I can't believe this...
This can't be happening... Oh, my God...
"I got in!" I screamed, "I got in, I got in, oh, my God, I got in!" I ran up the stairs bursting through the door to my parents' room. They looked at me groggily, confused as to why I was dressed and jumping on their beds at 6 am on a Saturday morning.
"You got in where?" My dad asked me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Look at it!" I screamed, thrusting the paper in his face and doing a happy dance on their silk comforter. My dad grabbed the page and skimmed over the words. He never started smiling. After a while, his eyes still roamed the page and my excitement started to die down. I stopped jumping and the smile I previously had, hadn't left a trace that it had ever been there.
"What's wrong, daddy?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"We don't have the money for it, Nikkita." My eyes narrowed and I thought about our house on Crescent Hill, the most expensive houses in Aurora, Utah, the brand new entertainment system in their bedroom, the pool in our basement, the arcade next to the kitchen. Who does he think he's fooling?
"So, you have enough money to buy a new T.V but not for me to go to college?" I asked, anger laced in my voice.
"Just not in England, Nikkita. We need to keep an eye on you." I stood up fast.
"Since when have I ever needed you to keep an eye on me? Mom! Do something!" I looked at her, expecting her to say something, anything, to defend me. She knew how much I wanted this. But she never looked up from her hands.
"Your father is right, Nikkita. You've changed. Doing drugs," They knew about that? "Drinking, going to parties," How'd they find out about that? "Who knows what you'd do in London."
"I do." I stood my ground and crossed my arms, preparing to change their minds. "I don't want to go to London to party. I only want to sing. That's all I've ever wanted. That's not going to happen in tiny Aurora, population: a bread crumb over one thousand. Why can't you let me be happy?" My father looked from me to the paper one more time and exhaled. Hook, nail, and sinker!
"Fine. We'll pay for you to go. But if I hear anything about you getting into any trouble, stringing young men along just to break their hearts, drugs, anything, and you'll be on the next flight home." No parties? I think I can handle that.
"But... I can go... right?"
"Yes."
"Eeeeee! Thank you so much! I'll love you forever!" I grabbed my paper from his hands and ran down the stairs, out the door, and across the street to Lorien's house, my best friend.
I heard music blasting from her house before I even knocked and when I raised my hand to, the door swung open and Lor was sliding across the floor in her character socks.
"I got in!" I screamed, waving my letter.
"Me too!" She screamed, waving hers back.
"Oh, my God! Where's Cheryl?" I asked, coming in as she turned the music down.
"She was so happy that she went to go put in an order for 'My niece got into the Royal Academy Of Music' merch. She's crazy." She smiled while I shut the door and came to sit by her.
"That's awesome. My parents banned me from partying and said that if they found out I was, I'd be on the first plane back."
"Damn... well, look on the bright side," She said, smiling but never telling me the bright side.
"And that would be...?" I asked.
"We have a whole summer together and then the bitches are back! And London won't know what hit 'em." I laughed, smacking her arm lightly before laying in her lap.
"I just wanted to get the chance to become a singer, babe. I'm gonna miss partying, though."
"It's fine, babe. We'll have fun. I promise." I can't believe we only have one summer left before college.
If it's here that means... I could have gotten rejected. Oh, God... Come to think of it the package was kind of light... what if I don't get in?
"You can do this, Nikki. Just breath." I finally got the courage to walk away from the mail box, clutching my package for dear life. Clutching my package, laugh out l- now is not the time to be perverted!
Oh, right...
Why am I talking to myself?
I shook my head, clearing my mind and shut the front door behind me. I made my way to the kitchen table. I sat down and chewed the inside of my cheek, staring down at the sealed manila envelope, debating whether to open it or not.
Be positive... think positive Nik... just breathe.
I decided to stop thinking. I closed my eyes and ripped open the envelope. Once the letter hit the kitchen table, I read and re-read the words, over and over.
I can't believe this...
This can't be happening... Oh, my God...
"I got in!" I screamed, "I got in, I got in, oh, my God, I got in!" I ran up the stairs bursting through the door to my parents' room. They looked at me groggily, confused as to why I was dressed and jumping on their beds at 6 am on a Saturday morning.
"You got in where?" My dad asked me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Look at it!" I screamed, thrusting the paper in his face and doing a happy dance on their silk comforter. My dad grabbed the page and skimmed over the words. He never started smiling. After a while, his eyes still roamed the page and my excitement started to die down. I stopped jumping and the smile I previously had, hadn't left a trace that it had ever been there.
"What's wrong, daddy?" I asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
"We don't have the money for it, Nikkita." My eyes narrowed and I thought about our house on Crescent Hill, the most expensive houses in Aurora, Utah, the brand new entertainment system in their bedroom, the pool in our basement, the arcade next to the kitchen. Who does he think he's fooling?
"So, you have enough money to buy a new T.V but not for me to go to college?" I asked, anger laced in my voice.
"Just not in England, Nikkita. We need to keep an eye on you." I stood up fast.
"Since when have I ever needed you to keep an eye on me? Mom! Do something!" I looked at her, expecting her to say something, anything, to defend me. She knew how much I wanted this. But she never looked up from her hands.
"Your father is right, Nikkita. You've changed. Doing drugs," They knew about that? "Drinking, going to parties," How'd they find out about that? "Who knows what you'd do in London."
"I do." I stood my ground and crossed my arms, preparing to change their minds. "I don't want to go to London to party. I only want to sing. That's all I've ever wanted. That's not going to happen in tiny Aurora, population: a bread crumb over one thousand. Why can't you let me be happy?" My father looked from me to the paper one more time and exhaled. Hook, nail, and sinker!
"Fine. We'll pay for you to go. But if I hear anything about you getting into any trouble, stringing young men along just to break their hearts, drugs, anything, and you'll be on the next flight home." No parties? I think I can handle that.
"But... I can go... right?"
"Yes."
"Eeeeee! Thank you so much! I'll love you forever!" I grabbed my paper from his hands and ran down the stairs, out the door, and across the street to Lorien's house, my best friend.
I heard music blasting from her house before I even knocked and when I raised my hand to, the door swung open and Lor was sliding across the floor in her character socks.
"I got in!" I screamed, waving my letter.
"Me too!" She screamed, waving hers back.
"Oh, my God! Where's Cheryl?" I asked, coming in as she turned the music down.
"She was so happy that she went to go put in an order for 'My niece got into the Royal Academy Of Music' merch. She's crazy." She smiled while I shut the door and came to sit by her.
"That's awesome. My parents banned me from partying and said that if they found out I was, I'd be on the first plane back."
"Damn... well, look on the bright side," She said, smiling but never telling me the bright side.
"And that would be...?" I asked.
"We have a whole summer together and then the bitches are back! And London won't know what hit 'em." I laughed, smacking her arm lightly before laying in her lap.
"I just wanted to get the chance to become a singer, babe. I'm gonna miss partying, though."
"It's fine, babe. We'll have fun. I promise." I can't believe we only have one summer left before college.
Lol ummm thanks :)
10/25/13