Amour

CHAPTER 24 "How about this?" Ella holds up what looks like a skirt but it could be a blouse. I am struggling to keep up with Ella as she weaves through the complex. "Its nice." I give her a default answer and her shoulders slump. "You've said that for the last thirty items I've shown you." "Has it been thirty? Felt like more." Zack comments from the sofa that's laden with Ella's various outfit choices. "Shut up." She tosses a hanger at him and he dodges it. "I'll be right back." I tell them and turn around to leave. "I'm coming with you." Zack stands. "Even if I'm gonna shop for lingerie?" "Even then. I can't sit here any longer." I don't actually go shopping for lingerie but instead visit this health restaurant and order our lunch. I get three of the same chicken wraps and bottles of water, with a pomegranate juice for me. "How come you get a juice?" Zack walks with me back to meet Ella. "Because I paid, Zacky." I give him a simple answer but hand him the cup to drink some. "Think we should catch a movie while we're here?" "What movies are out?" "No idea. Let's go check." Zack and I study the different movie release posters and decide to buy tickets for a showing without consulting Ella first, rebels that we are. She is waiting for us outside the clothing store we left here at when we return. "Where have you been?" She demands. "We bought tickets to a movie and we got us some lunch." I answer taking a bag from her. "Oh........okay." Post-movie we just wander around the mall like hobos after leaving Ella's bags in the car. Before we leave for the final time I spot a trinket that I could give to Louis in a gift shop and duck inside to get it. *** I close the apartment door behind me without bothering to announce that I'm back. I drop my keys in the little woven basket half expecting a whoosh of air as Louis flies down to greet me but he doesn't. Walking up the steps I go into the bedroom but he isn't there. I take off my shoes and walk barefoot across the hall to his office. He is sitting at his desk occupied by his computer monitor. I've never seen him in here before so I stand quietly at the door as I drink him in. He's wearing a black t shirt that dips low enough in the front for me to see the top of his tattoo. He's biting his lip trying to focus on whatever it is that he's doing and his brows are creased. My fingers are twitching from impulse to reach out and smoothen the frown. His hair is ruffled and damp - he probably took a shower. My subby slumps a little at the thought of him not waiting for me. He finally looks up and his face softens when his eyes lock with mine. They're still a gorgeous blue, like the core of a magnificent ice berg. The sight of him - despite only being apart for a day - makes me grin like a fool and my heart flutter. Being a hopeless romantic, you dream of these moments. "Hi." I give him a small wave. "Hey." He smiles a mirror-image of mine. "I can go start dinner while you finish up." I point my thumb behind me. "No. Come here first." He holds his hand out and I walk up to him taking it. He takes the backs of my thighs and pulls me closer so that I fall forward and grab the back of his chair for support. I'm wearing a navy ruffled skirt which makes his next movements simpler. He hikes my legs up and onto either side of him so that I'm straddling him. Now that I'm in close proximity I notice that he smells of shampoo, body wash and musk all rolled into one. My favorite scent in the entire world. "I missed you." I whisper in his ear and his arms slither their away around my waist holding me to him. "You have no idea." He begins a trail of kisses from the base of my throat working his way up to my mouth. "Kiss me." And I do. Hard and passionate. I'm desperate for his touch, in spite of me wanting time to clear my head I feel that this is where I need to be. "I got you something." I break away and say. "Oh?" He looks at me with the ghost of a smile haunting his sculptured lips. I pull out the desired item from my jacket pocket and hold it out between us. Its a puzzle pendant, two separate puzzle pieces - one black and the other white - that fit together perfectly. I hold out both pieces letting him decide which colour he wants first. He chooses the black one. "Its actually two pieces. One for you and one for me. I didn't know how to give you your half because I'm not sure if you'll wear it as a chain or key ring." I babble on. Taking my piece also he fits them together, examining them as if it were a bomb that needed to be defused. "That's not all." I smile feeling giddy inside. "May I?" He gives it back to me and I prepare for what feels like a show and tell. "Linking the two pieces also unlocks them." I explain whilst demonstrating. The surfaces of the pendants separate from their bases revealing a tiny frame or chamber that can hold something small. "But neither can be unlocked without the other." I release the pieces and hand them back to him. His eyes dance excitedly around the object, as if it were his first Christmas and this was his first gift. His happy face fades and I become worried. "What's wrong?" He's not looking at me but I place my finger below his chin and tilt his head up. "No one's ever given me something like this." He says and it claws at my heart. "Something this cheesy?" "Something that held meaning. I've never been given anything just because they wanted to." "I'm giving this to you because............because you've done so much for me and I don't know how to say thank you but I'll keep trying until I get it right. Because you love me even though I don't deserve it." "What makes you think you don't deserve it?" "I'm not.......like you. I can't be everything you need but you love me anyway." "Never say that, Sam. You're more than I need and everything I want. Now shut up so I can kiss you." He closes the gap between us, capturing my mouth and making it his. Leaving my gift on the table he grasps my hips and his fingertips dig into the fabric of my skirt, any more pressure and it'll be nothing more than a pile of blue. This time I break the kiss to start leaving kisses on his jaw, below his ear I suck hard on the spot that almost makes him lose control, drifting down his neck and planting a kiss on his Adam's Apple earning me a moan. I decide to be a little brave - hopefully not hurt my teeth - and allow my front teeth to clamp down on the skin above his clavicle. He shifts my skirt out of the way and runs his hands up my thigh squeezing as they go. His head rolls back and I hold the back to support him. Enjoying the feel of him so vulnerable I give in myself and my hips start rocking as they grind against him. "Fuck. Don't stop." He encourages me and takes control of my movements then looking up at me with a totally enamored look in his eyes before reclosing them. "Kiss me, Sam." My lips hover above his keeping them in constant contact with his before swooping down. I can feel him getting turned on under me and I feel so in control. He pops my bubble instantaneously by standing keeping my legs wound around his waist. In a single swift move he cleans his desk, dropping everything onto the floor all whilst keeping his lips on mine. Placing me roughly on the surface of the desk and spreading my legs to step between them. Taking the side of my face in his hand to prevent me from moving away, then using his hold on my lower back to bring me closer to him. "Can I?" He looks into my eyes and I nod. I know what's coming and my body is anxious to speed up the process. "Please." I don't care to hide the begging in my tone. He reclaims my lips and I run my fingers through his hair. The hairs on the back of my head stand to attention at the sound of zipper opening. He eases into me and the ache in the deepest part of my belly is reiterated. I don't flinch for fear that he'll notice and stop in the midst of our passionate deed. He starts to move and I moan, his mouth floating down my neck again and assaulting the crook, I focus on the feeling of his lips on my skin. "Wait." I can't stop the word from tumbling out. He immediately pauses, pulling back to regard me with concern. The pain had broken through making me feel like a porcelain doll. "Are you okay?" He asks me his words laced with worry. "I'm fine." I lie. The ache is anything but dull, it lurks in the depths of my belly ready to spring and unleash a wave of torture. Letting go of Louis I lay down on my back on the table with my fingers hooked in the belt loops of his pants. I close my eyes waiting for the worst to settle when I feel Louis pull out of me and the agony of his absence is just as powerful. I hear the closing zip of his pants and he gently bends to kiss the skin above my belly button. His single touch soothes the internal spokes. "Sam? Talk to me, baby." He presses. "It-It hurts." I don't know why I'm admitting it to him because I'm aware that he may never touch me again which is worse than this pain intensified by the billions. "Oh, Sam. I'm sorry. Why didn't you tell me before? I'm so sorry, baby." He picks me up and clutches me to his chest. Uncurling my fingers he kisses the centres of my palms then my wrists. I can't say anything, I don't want to say anything. My body goes into slug-mode as it claws at every possibility to recuperate. "I'll take you to bed." I rest my head on his shoulder as he carries me across the hall. He pulls the comforter back - he set the bed? - and lays me down then crawling in next to me. I put my head on his chest and drape my arm around his waist. His chest heaves as he breathes deeply and I close my eyes. "Are you okay?" Louis kisses my forehead. "Does it still hurt?" "N-no." My voice is shaky from the cold flushes that are commencing. Fuck. What is wrong with me? "I shouldn't have........it was wrong of me to do that to you. I always forget when I'm with you. How bad does it hurt?" "I'm fine. It'll go away." I grumble hiding my face in his shoulder letting his miraculous body warmth clothe me. I snuggle closer to him ignoring the unwelcome pang. "I need you to tell me when anything happens, Sam. I know that sometimes I can get..................carried away but I'd never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you." I move my head to look up at him. "I love you." "I love you too, you crazy woman." He grins and I want to kiss him so badly but I can see the restraint in his eyes and I turn away. I have current needs. Bathroom needs. I've been alive for twenty-five years, that's enough time to get to know your body and right now I know I'm bleeding. Jesus, this frightening. What's wrong with me? I just got over chemical poisoning and once again my body has been thrown under the wheel. My subby has her vindictive mask on, making me aware that maybe life with Louis will always be this way............something will always hurt, always cause pain. Not to mention that I'll grow wrinkled, old and eventually die; Louis will have to live through that......live through my death. Will he even feel the same abut me when I'm bearly able to walk? No, this isn't the time to get depressed. I can think about the future tomorrow because right now I really need the bathroom. *** "Babe. Sam? Wake up." Louis kisses my forehead to wake me from my slumber. "Are you hungry?" "Hmph." I huff getting off him and falling into the softness of my pillow. "Want me to make us some dinner?" He tucks some loose strands of hair behind my ear. "No. Stay here with me." "You have to eat, love. I'll order some take out." "Can I come?" "Um........okay." He gets off the bed and I swing my legs over the edge. He shakes his head at me and bends to pick me up off the ground. "What are you doing?" I fist his shirt just as the ground and my feet break up. "You shouldn't be walking." "You're crazy." "Love makes us do crazy things." Louis orders from the nearest restaurant and I don't care to listen in on what he ordered. "Foods here." Louis announces thirty minutes later walking into the living room and sits down on the couch beside me. The pain has - massive thank you to my lucky stars - subsided and has put my train of thought back on track at last. Despite the collapse of pain, my body still refuses to function at 100% capability. I was indeed, bleeding and the flow hasn't seized yet making me just a teensy bit uneasy. My subby and I both agree not to cause a panic just yet and give my body a day or two to recover. "Do you want the noodles?" Louis holds out a white container and I snatch it. Sitting upright Louis drags my legs over his lap and mummifies them with a quilt. We're watching a marathon of a mystery show I wasn't really paying attention to. I open the box and I'm hit with an aroma that makes me drool. With each mouthful my body feeds off of it like hounds in a butchery. The poor feeling has also affected my use of analogies, I guess. The marathon rolls along and I munch on. When we're done Louis tosses our containers onto the coffee table and leans back again. I lean in to kiss his cheek and he stiffens, his jaw tightening as he keeps his momentum. "Are you mad at me?" I let the question roll out. "Why would I be mad?" He looks at me. "Because well........I didn't say anything.....earlier." "I'm just a little confused as to why you failed to tell me before. If I was.........hurting you why didn't you tell me to stop? I would have known." "I'm sorry. I just.............Did this happen before?" "To me? No. There was someone...........like me who'd also found his mate in a human. He left everything he had for her, his family, wealth. When he sometimes got carried away in their private moments he would forget that she was fragile and I don't know exactly what he'd done but she began to get weaker and more frail. Because they didn't have money he couldn't afford to get treatment for her, just as he got to the steps of his parents' house with her to ask for help she closed her eyes." His expression remains neutral in the duration that he told the story. At the end he gave a knee a little squeeze and the hooded eyes are back. "I can't lose you. I never should've............It was irresponsible-" My head is still reeling from the story details instant sympathy is felt for whomever it was that lost the love of their life just when they knew how to save them. Gazing up at the man I've given myself to body and soul, I see regret and pain behind his cool front. I've waited too long and I can finally call you mine, I won't allow carelessness to take you from me." "Stop. Nothings ever gonna take me away from you, Louis. I may not have waited as long as you have but how I feel about you is..........is something the word love doesn't begin to explain." I run my fingers along his stubble and I want to kiss him with a need but restrain myself. "I'll never leave you. I promise to never leave you." As if he may have caught the vibe too, he allows our lips to meet in a wistful and chaste kiss. We've had a lot of these moments in the past week, like they were reminders that we loved each other and a wedge couldn't be created. "Tired?" He stands and takes my hand pulling me up. "I'll walk." I say stepping back feeling overjoyed that there is no pain as a result of my actions. *** "Morning." I smile at the man who should have a place amongst the Greek Gods instead of here with me. His hair is a mass of untidy brown hair upon his head and his eyes are closed, his head buried between my breasts. "Hmm." He mumbles turning the tables on me. "Rise and shine, Lou." "You sound so sexy when you say that. My name." "Its officially moving day for Nana and Jase today." I sigh. "The trucks will already be parked outside the house." "You want me to drop you off or......??" "I don't know. Nana will probably force you into staying anyway to help out." And I also have to pack the last of my things but I can't bring myself to voice that. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine-" "I don't mean the pain, Sam. Are you okay with the move?" "Yes, I am because there's no downside. Everyone including you and I will be happy." "Okay." He looks at me searching for a hint of regret or doubt. He finds none and his expression softens. "Wanna have a shower before we go?" Cheeky Louis is back. I missed him. "Aha." I blush and crawl off the bed. The pain has completely disappeared and I can walk, run and crawl - if it weren't age inappropriate - without those awful pangs of torture. *** "Oh good, Louis' here too! We need another strong young man to haul around boxes." Nana greets us and immediately takes Louis into the living room. He looks back at me and I wink in encouragement. "Sam. How are you?" Tommy comes over and gives me a hug. "I'm good and you?" I chat casually stealing cookies from the jar. "Just great. Did you organize everything for tomorrow?" "I did. Don't worry about a thing, everything will be perfect." "Thank you Sam, for doing all this." "I didn't really do anything so mention not." "Sammy!" Jase appears at the bottom of the stairs and sprints toward me. "Hey there, big guy." I bend to pick him up sitting him on my hip. "What have you been up to?" "Tommy helped me pack up my room. The big men put it all into this really big truck and all the boxes had my name on it." "I'll see you later." Tommy leaves. "Did they? Pretty cool. Did you eat breakfast?" I turn back to Jase. "Yes. Nana made chocolate waffles and I kept some for you because I knew you'd come. They're in here." He lifts the lid off a Tupperware container to reveal circular brown pastries. "Thank you, Jase. Do you want half?" I cut it in half. "But its yours. I already had mine." "Sure?" "Aha. You can give half to Louis." "Give what to me?" Louis is standing in the kitchen doorway watching us. He walk toward us. "Sammy doesn't wanna eat her waffle so I s-said to give you half." Jase explains grinning. "Well, wasting food is bad so I'll share with her if I must." He looks at me and I roll my eyes at his fake exasperated tone. "Can I ask you something?" Jase whispers to Louis. I put him down onto a counter stool and walk around the counter with my waffle to the fridge looking for water. "Sure." I hear Louis match his low voice. "Why isn't Sammy coming to live with us?" The water bottle slips from my hand and falls with a thud to the ground. Bending to pick it up I hear my heart and breathing pick up the pace as they desperately try to outrun each other. Why didn't he just ask me? I feel wounded that Jase didn't come to me. Maybe its a guy thing. "Did you ask Sammy why she isn't coming?" Louis is equally surprised. "No. She won't tell me." "You should ask her first." I hear the loud footsteps become softer and take it that Louis has left. I stand up and straighten myself walking back around to face Jase who has become way more nerve-jerking. "Sammy, why won't you stay with us?" He repeats his question. I sigh before answering. "Because Tommy's home is too far for me to drive to work every morning." "Will you visit me?" "Of course I will, Jase. You will wait for me, right?" He hugs me unexpectedly clutching the fabric of my shirt. His tiny arms are wound around my waist and I hug him back feeling his little tears wet my shirt. "Sammy. I love you. You saved me when those bad boys were gonna hurt me and y-you took care of me when no one wanted me." "Don't say that. Everyone wanted you but I got you first so I'm the lucky one. I love you too, big guy." At the end of the day everything is packed and loaded except for my room. My coward genes refused to let me go load my stuff into boxes just yet. I'd say my nerves reined supreme because with everything that's been happening I'm finding it harder to say yes with the same enthusiasm. "Ready to go?" Louis hasn't questioned me all day but I don't expect him to be silent for much longer. "Um....yeah. I am." I did however pack all of my remaining clothes and put them into Louis' car. "Tommy just left with Aggie and Jase. Are you hungry? We could grab linner before we go home." "Linner?" I laugh. "You know, lunch and dinner. Linner." I cross the room closing the space between us and wrapping my arms around his waist under his jacket. He inhales sharply but doesn't hesitate to pull me into an embrace I've been wanting all day. I rest my rest against his chest letting every negative vibe vanish. "You kissed me for the first time here." He smiles when I look up at him. I remember that night moment-for-moment. He'd told me his secret that night in fear that I'd turn away but I didn't. "My first kiss." I blush and look down but he catches my chin and tilts my head up. "You make me the happiest man alive everytime you say that. Its an honor knowing that I was the first to claim your lips." As if to demonstrate he lowers himself and kisses me but it doesn't feed the flame usually ignited. He's guarded and it pisses me off a little but I won't push him. "Let's go get some linner."

Notes

PLEASE COMMENT AND VOTE :D HELP GET THE READ COUNT UP

My Twitter is @SSTomlinson if u have anything to say/ask

- S xx