Amour
Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
*LOUIS POV*
Left. Right. Left. Right. Despite how silly it sounds, focusing on walking - and not walking into any speed traps - is the perfect distraction from say, the love of your life leaving you. I can't blame her; I was an arse for not taking her seriously and allowing my temper to get the best of me. Let's not forget Harry's ingenious advice to help me move on and attempt to make Sam jealous by hanging around Savannah. Note to self: ignore Harry's advice.
Instead of being polite and knocking I simply barge into Harry and Sarah's home to find them laughing in the kitchen with Niall. A tiny part of me wonders if he ever left since the party.
"Hey, Louis" Sarah gives me a small wave followed by Niall
"Hey" I respond
"So, is Sam still mad at you?" Harry shuffles in his chair and turns to face me.
"Yeah"
"Did you do what I told you to?"
"I tried but-"
"Woah! What did you make him do?" Sarah holds up her hand to pause the conversation and directs her question to Harry.
Rolling his eyes he responds in a nonchalant tone.
"I told him jealousy is the best policy" he shrugs
"And the apple does fall far from the tree, doesn't it? Louis, don't listen to him because he's an idiot"
"I agree" Niall and I speak in unison
"Who better to get girl advice from than a girl? Come with me", she turns and walks into the next room. I'm unaware that Niall is walking sheepishly behind me until I turn around and he bumps into me.
"Can I help you?" I ask
"I wanna come too" Niall tries to walk around me but I grab his shirt collar and yank him back.
"No, you can't come. Stay" pinning him to the spot with my gaze I spin around and head into the room with an awaiting Sarah closing the door behind me.
She is standing with her hands on her hips facing me wearing the most serious expression I've seen on her.
"Louis" she seats herself on one of the two bamboo chairs in the room, I've always hated those.
"Sarah"
"How long did you know Sam?"
"Um........" Oh crap I don't remember, “A month a half I think"
"You think?"
My only response is a shrug as I lean against the wall nearest to me. The past few days have been exhausting with my every thought being of someone every one of my moral fibres yearned for yet the chances of having her are less than slim.
"Promise me something"
"What?"
"Never listen to Harry when it comes to relationships. Ever"
"Done"
"Good. Look at me"
I hesitantly glance up to catch my image in a tiny reflective surface on an object she's holding. The image I see belongs not to me but to someone else, a person with tired blue eyes ringed by dark circles of depression, hair untidy and lifeless along with the facial expression that bears no emotion. Straightening to hide the zombie appearance I've recently taken on, I look at Sarah unappreciatively.
"What are you doing? Put the damn thing away"
She lowers it tucking it into a drawer beneath her
"Apologise to her, Louis. What you saw in the mirror, that's how you feel too and I don't know why because you've never done this before. Wait, did you? You wouldn't!"
"What?" Now I feel sheepish, maybe letting Niall in wasn't so bad.
"Did you, Louis?" She's making me feel like I'm in an interrogation and I'm about to call for my lawyer.
"Did what?" Play it dumb
"You know what. Did you........feed off of Sam? It’s the only possible reason for this”, she gestures up and down my body with her hands as she rises and stalks toward me.
"Niall's calling" knowing that her hearing is just as perfect as mine that was a stupid thing to say
"You did! How could you? You know the rules, Louis!"
"Did not!"
"Louis, you know that we aren't allowed to feed off of humans for a reason, why did you...........oh God, she's your mate isn't she? We only take blood from our partners, but you-"
She's interrupted by Niall and Harry falling through the door and landing face first on the ground. They recover instantly jumping to their feet at vamp speed and dusting themselves off.
"We wanted to know if you two wanted um....." Harry looks to Niall for help
"Pizzas" Niall volunteers
"Yeah, pizzas. Do you guys want pizzas?" Harry's eyes are wide as they stare at me, burning into my non-existent soul.
"You two were eavesdropping. I expected more from you Niall" Sarah scolds to which Niall drops his head in real shame
"What about me?" Harry seems offended
"Out! Both of you"
They leave very begrudgingly without closing the door.
"The door!" Sarah speaks in a monotone knowing they can hear her.
The door is blown shut by a very vague dark blue figure that would go unnoticed by a human.
"Did you tell Roger? What did he say? I bet he was pissed" Sarah is on quick fire.
"He knows, he met her and he likes her"
"I like her but that doesn't mean you should....-"
"Should what, Sarah?"
"Feed off of her! That was......arrogant of you to take advantage of her like that. I didn't know it was this serious, because she was human I had no way of getting any vibes off of her and now...........I know I said apologise to her but this is new information and maybe it’s best to forget her and move on. Go back home, Louis"
"It’s none of your business anyway, Sarah. Thanks for nothing"
"No, it isn't but I know now and I'm......worried about you, Louis. She left you-"
"Yeah, I noticed" I scoff
"She left you and you're a mess. You've been in relationships before, everyone in this building can vouch for the fact that this has never happened to you before"
"True!" Two unwelcome voices chime in and my anger tips over. Don't they know boundaries?
I burst through the door to find them standing innocently by the kitchen island. Their smiles fall to the ground when they see me appear right in front of them.
"Shut up, both of you. Take something seriously for once." I spit and head for the door to leave.
***
SAM POV
"I like this one" José points to a particularly beautiful dream catcher and jumps up and down in an attempt to reach it. I take it down from the hook and hand it to him before handing a few notes over to the stall owner.
Nana dragged us down to a convention down at the local stadium and it is amazing but the last thing I want to do is walk around shopping with bags in my hand until my feet ache.
All three pets are here, Cheeky perched on Jase's shoulder and R&J walking stealthily beside us showing off to the other dogs.
"Sam, look at this" Nana waves from three stalls over and we make our way to her.
She's looking at several......spoons? They look like spoons with various dials and digits. Correction, they're James Bond spoons with a license to feed you cereal like never before.
My sarcasm and sense of humour have been both dry and cutting recently, all due to the large hole I felt in my chest that I can never see in the mirror. Wind whips past me rustling my hair and whistles as it screeches past the void in my soul threatening to expand it just to be cruel.
"Are those spoons?" Jase asks for me
"Yeah but they do so many things. This one weighs whatever’s in your spoon; this one tells you if it's too hot. Which one should I buy?"
"This one" Jase points to a bright blue one with a Spiderman motif on the handle. Typical.
"Sam?"
"Hmm" I'm biting my lip when I glance up at Nana from my thoughts.
"Do you like one?"
"Um.....no" I come across curt so I add "Thanks" to lighten my tone.
"I'll be over there" I tell Nana and walk over to an art booth/ stall. It’s got cameras and portraits, sculptures even. All are so detailed, beautiful.
The stall owner is nowhere in sight so I walk through the make-shift stands and isles browsing through the gadgets displayed on them. I come to a dead-end which is strange considering this is a tent. When I glance around I see that there's no one else in here but people continue to buzz about outside.
There's a painting hung up boldly at the end, framed with a deep brown wooden frame. The focal point of the work is a noughts and crosses game with three bright red x's running diagonally across the grid. Its familiar.......where did I see that before?
My mind takes me back to the person who I'm reminded of when I saw this. An exact copy of this image is tattooed on Louis' arm near his elbow. Absentmindedly I clutch the locket that still hangs around my neck with my thumb running over its face. My ruby slipper. I haven't opened the locket for a week now, but I haven't removed it because I felt that the void would completely consume me body and mind if I did, this was the glue keeping me together.
"Can I help you?" I'm interrupted by a young man standing with his hands in his jeans pockets.
He has tattoos on both his arms, in exquisite detail and his hair is an unruly chocolate brown.
"Oh sorry. I thought it was still open" I apologise
"It is. I'm Zayn and this is my stall. Do you like this painting?" His voice is hoarse but understandable.
"Sam. It’s very good, is it yours?"
His face changes and returns back to normal in a second. From the moment his expression changed, I could see his eyes soften as if in recognition but then pulling on a mask to hide those thoughts.
"Everything in here is mine. Unfortunately none of the paintings are for sale but I could show you something else"
Without waiting for a yes or no Zayn heads towards the entrance of the tent and stops in front of a glass case that holds about twenty photographers cameras.
"This is a beautiful piece of machinery, has the best clarity and has every feat you could want in a camera"
Why are we talking about cameras all of a sudden? I walk up to the stand and take the camera he's holding. I hold it up and aim the lens at a random couple at the stall opposite us.
"I think you'd like this one more, Sam" he takes the camera from me and replaces it with a more compact one that a sleek black with so many buttons.
"Here, take a picture of the painting" he shows me how to put it on and puts it on a specific setting.
I take a snap of the noughts and crosses painting and lower the camera to look at it. I was never the photographer kind, not even photogenic for that matter but it feels kinda fun to do it now. Smiling for the first time in five days I take a few more photos of other paintings hung on the walls.
"How much is it?" I ask Zayn
I leave the abstruse Zayn's stall and walk with a newly purchased camera wrapped safely in its box and placed in a bland white packet.
"There you are! What you got there?" Nanas instantly beside me with Jase at my other side eying my camera.
"I bought a camera"
"It’s the first thing you've bought here so I'm gonna go ahead and give it a thumbs up. I found something you'll like"
"What?"
"Sugarcane juice"
"NO WAY!" My excitement is authentic and I stop in my tracks. I've loved sugarcane juice ever since I was a kind and I haven't drunk it in over a decade.
"Here you go" she tosses me a clear plastic bottle permeated with a brownish green liquid that is oh-so-familiar from my childhood.
Taking a swig my face scrunches in an expression of strange but known familiarity to the drink.
"How's it taste?" Jase looks up at me
"Wanna try?" I offer him the bottle and he takes it warily but takes a sip before he decides that he actually likes the taste. Winking at him I turn to Nana who's smiling lovingly at our little show, I can tell she's thinking back to when I was Jase's age with silly dreams............and no broken heart.
"Are we done here? Can we go home now?" I ask her
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go" she interlocks her arm with mine and we manoeuvre through hundreds of people to get to the exit.
***
"Here you go" I smile at the middle-aged man as I hand him his packet.
Nana asked me if I could help her friend out at their new book/music store in town - she has a lot of friends - and of course, I said yes. I'd say yes to almost anything now if it means keeping me busy and my mind occupied to avoid wandering off into unbidden thoughts.
The manager of the store is Paul who happens to live on our street a couple houses down with his wife Pam. They're an elderly couple in their sixties but they are the two of the jolliest people I know, I'm envy them at times.
Today was my first day the Book/Music Store - that's its name - and I hurriedly make my way to the staff room to get my bag and leave. Ella will be waiting for me outside round about now because there's a party she refuses to go to without me despite my resistance.
As predicted Ella is parked outside the store and is waiting impatiently - because she is tapping her fingers on the steering wheel - inside. I walk around the car and get in on the passenger’s side.
"Do you know what time it is? We're going to be late" Ella's greeting is loud and annoying
"Good evening, Ella. Nice to see you too"
"Let's get you home so you can get ready. Because of your delay, you only get five minutes to be in and out. Got it?"
"Gee, thanks. What's so important about this party?"
"I've been so bored that I've nearly been driven to insanity so you better put on a fake smile and help me have a good time"
"You're the best friend a girl could ask for"
"Flattery will get you only so far, Miss. Hunter"
***
The mansion isn't familiar but the thumping music and pulsating bright lights are all too recognisable. I've been given enough time - courtesy of Ella - to drag on a simple navy dress with short sleeves and grab a jacket - which isn't of much assistance because it's now resting in Ella's car - my Toms sneakers had to remain on.
Ella's all too familiar with the surroundings as this is her 'element' but she goes nowhere without me because I have become her tail at these sorts of festivities. Young people are clinging to one another in their bathing suits or unnecessarily tight dresses. We walk through the house out to the backyard where there is are three pools situated next to each other, the last one's water has a few bubbles indicating that it may be a hot tub of some sort.
"You'll be fine, Sam. I'll be right back" Ella addresses me briefly then disappears into the mass of people that are jam-packed around us. Not again! Note to self: never go to a party ever again. Ever.
***
LOUIS POV
Maybe a party wasn't the best idea right now but I needed to do something else beside mope and this party looked very welcoming. I just wandered in no one thought to ask my identity or why I was here. The atmosphere is mood-lifting as I witness several people jumping into the pool completely intoxicated and others running up the stairs to get privacy to partake in more intimate activities.
Harry and Niall haven't tried calling - good decision - and I scan the pool area for any familiar faces but find none, I'd like nothing better than to talk to- Oh no. She's here, Sam's here. Her scent of slight cologne and shampoo is pronounced in the alcohol-filled air. Searching for her I find her standing on the opposite side of the pool looking rather uncomfortable, her hands hugging herself. Who doesn't she have a jacket with her? I nearly end up walking toward her to ask that very same question when I halt in my tracks when the reason why I can't do that becomes apparent.
She's waving at someone and momentarily I think it’s me but glancing to my left I see Tony, the bastard who wants Sam. I'm walking towards him - not sure on what I'm going to do yet - when someone beats me to him. The person is slightly older than I am and stands unnoticed behind Tony. Using his strength as a weapon and intoxication as an excuse he shoves Tony hard enough to send him stumbling right into the pool. Whoever that psycho was, I thank him.
Tony gets out of the pool looking beyond pissed at whoever it was that pushed him. I glance over at Sam who's running toward Tony and I feel a stab of betrayal even though I shouldn't. She grabs a towel from one of the pool chairs and makes her way to him. Tony now stands aggressively in front of his advancer ready to grab his throat with the crowd cheering on a fight but Sam gets in the middle and tugs Tony away. She's touching him, why is she doing that? She knows I hate him but she's the most stubborn woman I know.
***
SAM POV
"Wear these, I found them in the closet" I toss Tony the clothes I found and turn to leave. Some asshole decided to liven things up by shoving Tony into the pool. With Tony's rep it would have bumped him up a few levels on the social chart.
"Sam" Tony calls after me
"Yup?"
"You and the guy from the diner, Louis. Are you two....?”
"Why?"
"Nothing"
Just when I thought I was home free, he calls me back.
"Yes, Tony?"
He's standing now, shirt discarded on the ground and he strides up to me. I back up a little when he gets too close and hold my hand out in front of me, it doesn't stop him as he continues walking even with my hand pressed flat against his chest.
"Tony. Stop" my voice is intimidated but firm
"I've liked you for a long time, Sam. But I never got the chance to show you that because either that diner guy was with you or the nerd Zack"
"Tony. Seriously, back off"
"Don't be afraid of me, I'm not gonna hurt you. I can do so much more; make you feel like he never could"
Fear, panic and anger rise and are at DEFCON 1 as my hand fumbles behind me for the door handle. Where the Hell is it? With Tony standing so close to me I feel uncomfortable and my mind unknowingly drifts to when Louis would stand close to me, I welcomed it never wanting him to move away. The polar opposite reaction to what I want right now.
Yes! My hand closes around the door handle and I yank it open clumsily slamming the door against my back but I ignore the shock of pain, backing out of the room at optimum speed and slamming the door closed.
Louis was right, is my first thought. I stand immobile in front of the door with my hand on the knob. I release the handle and slump against the doors adjacent wall.
It’s happened AGAIN. I could make a tally of how many times this fucking happens. Why can't they just leave me alone? Tears come unannounced rolling down my face onto the carpeted floor. I want.........I want to go home to my Nana, Jason and- crap Jason! He's at a sleepover and I'm supposed to pick him up at 21:00. I leap up and run toward the staircase, jumping down two at a time - a risky attempt - before coming to a halt at the base trying to figure out which way to go.
I feel rather than see him, the tiny hairs on my nape standing on their ends like static electricity was present. It’s the energy that always exploded within me when he was near - really near - and I look up from my contemplation to see Louis standing right in front of me with a cup in his hand. He was here?
"Hey" he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. His eyes, they were so beautifully blue but now they dawn a lifeless and emotionless feel.
"Hey. Sorry, I'm blocking your way" I gesture to the stairs behind me and shuffle out of the way.
"I wasn't going upstair- Sam? Sam, what's wrong?" He tosses the cup away and it falls to the ground a few feet from us, spilling its golden contents all over the porcelain tiles.
His hand reaches up and brushes a strand of my hair out of my eyes, then holding the side of my face while his eyes search mine, begging for some sort of answer. I remain quiet, secretly enjoying the feel of his hand. His touch is what I've been craving for the past week, now he's here but I can't have him. Another traitor of a tear rolls down my cheek, Louis' finger trapping it.
"He......he hit on you, didn't he? The bastard" he looks away, staring at the rooms above the stairs. The look in his eyes in crazed and I'm afraid he'll do something he'll regret.
"I'm fine"
"Fine? He made you cry and for that he will die"
He steps around me heading for the stairs but I grab hold of his arm.
"Please don't, Louis"
"Why shouldn't I? He....he did that to you" he’s a step above me adding to his towering height
"He didn't do anything to me so please just forget it. Please"
His hesitation is physically visible as he glances back and forth from me to the stairs to my hold on his arm. I release it when he steps down to my level and holds my gaze with is, trying to find something in my eyes.
"Who did you come here with?" He breaks the silence
"Oh um, Ella. She's somewhere around"
"Will you be going home with her?"
"I hope so"
A gasp escapes my lips when I hear someone else calling my name from the top of the stairs. Tony. Oh please lord, don't see me. Louis sees the panic in my eyes and pushes me out of his view, back against a wall with his body leaning his arm that's pressed against the wall above my head. Louis' sudden actions made me lose my footing, my hand grabbing his shirt to regain my balance.
His face his inches from mine, my sub conscious sits up from her week-long hibernation and gawks at what she sees. Crap.
Louis' eyes burn into mine, trying and failing to hide the urge to lean a little closer. My own sub conscious mocks my stupidity at overreacting and leaving this man, the only man who's touched me.
When I know Tony has dismounted the stairs and went in search of me I wait to Louis to move but he doesn't, frozen in his position his pained expression becoming more and more visible. I want nothing more than to ease his pain but what would that mean?
"Louis"
"I miss you, Sam"
His words sure do come like a wrecking ball, and I hit home with the realisation that I've been so incredibly selfish.
"I miss you too" the words are a revelation to us both.
"I've.......I've been thinking about you and how egotistical it was of me to do what I did, it made me lose you and it brought on a pain that is inexplicable. Sam, I know you're mad at me-"
"I'm not mad, it was silly not to talk to you and just storm off. I'm sorry"
"No, baby, don't apologise"
"I've cried so much"
"Why? You shouldn't cry, love. Tears aren't pretty"
Several minutes of silence pass between us, Louis' thumb running over my knuckles, I missed this so much.
"Can I come back?" His voice is audible only to me
"Where?" I'm slightly confused
"To you. These five days have been sheer hurt for me, my apartment doesn't feel like home anymore without you", he steps closer, our front pressed against each other and his hands hover above my hips.
His eyes speak for him when he asks permission to.......do what? Not knowing how to respond I place my hands on his and bring them down to my waist. Taking my actions as an acceptance he leans in and buries his face in my hair, fingertips pressing into my dress securing their position.
"You're my home, Sam. And I can't bear to lose you again, promise me you won't leave me again", his eyes gaze earnestly into mine, “If I can't have you then I don't know what I'll do but no one is worthy of you. Not even me"
"Louis, I've been through Hell and back these past five days. Seeing you with Savannah was one of the worst-"
"I promise you I didn't do anything"
He's speaking against the skin of my neck and I resist the urge to laugh because it tickles. My hands have nowhere to go so they've settled on Louis' arms.
"I still love you, my feelings for you haven't changed" I speak softly.
His hold on my waist has tightened as he lifts his head to look at me. I decide that its time for me to be brave so I stretch up using Louis' arms for balance and press my lips to his, hoping that the time I've decided to grow a pair I haven't embarrassed myself.
My doubts are put to rest when I feel Louis' arms wrap all the way around my waist forming an impenetrable cage. His press hard against mine as he begs for entrance, I allow his request. My hands knot themselves in his hair as our kiss deepens, spilling all the hurt and devastation of the past few days that seemed like years. The forbidden desires from unexplored parts deep in my belly have arisen.
"Come home with me" Louis says when he breaks the kiss. My oxygen levels are at zero, I gasp to refill my demanding lungs with what they require.
*LOUIS POV*
Left. Right. Left. Right. Despite how silly it sounds, focusing on walking - and not walking into any speed traps - is the perfect distraction from say, the love of your life leaving you. I can't blame her; I was an arse for not taking her seriously and allowing my temper to get the best of me. Let's not forget Harry's ingenious advice to help me move on and attempt to make Sam jealous by hanging around Savannah. Note to self: ignore Harry's advice.
Instead of being polite and knocking I simply barge into Harry and Sarah's home to find them laughing in the kitchen with Niall. A tiny part of me wonders if he ever left since the party.
"Hey, Louis" Sarah gives me a small wave followed by Niall
"Hey" I respond
"So, is Sam still mad at you?" Harry shuffles in his chair and turns to face me.
"Yeah"
"Did you do what I told you to?"
"I tried but-"
"Woah! What did you make him do?" Sarah holds up her hand to pause the conversation and directs her question to Harry.
Rolling his eyes he responds in a nonchalant tone.
"I told him jealousy is the best policy" he shrugs
"And the apple does fall far from the tree, doesn't it? Louis, don't listen to him because he's an idiot"
"I agree" Niall and I speak in unison
"Who better to get girl advice from than a girl? Come with me", she turns and walks into the next room. I'm unaware that Niall is walking sheepishly behind me until I turn around and he bumps into me.
"Can I help you?" I ask
"I wanna come too" Niall tries to walk around me but I grab his shirt collar and yank him back.
"No, you can't come. Stay" pinning him to the spot with my gaze I spin around and head into the room with an awaiting Sarah closing the door behind me.
She is standing with her hands on her hips facing me wearing the most serious expression I've seen on her.
"Louis" she seats herself on one of the two bamboo chairs in the room, I've always hated those.
"Sarah"
"How long did you know Sam?"
"Um........" Oh crap I don't remember, “A month a half I think"
"You think?"
My only response is a shrug as I lean against the wall nearest to me. The past few days have been exhausting with my every thought being of someone every one of my moral fibres yearned for yet the chances of having her are less than slim.
"Promise me something"
"What?"
"Never listen to Harry when it comes to relationships. Ever"
"Done"
"Good. Look at me"
I hesitantly glance up to catch my image in a tiny reflective surface on an object she's holding. The image I see belongs not to me but to someone else, a person with tired blue eyes ringed by dark circles of depression, hair untidy and lifeless along with the facial expression that bears no emotion. Straightening to hide the zombie appearance I've recently taken on, I look at Sarah unappreciatively.
"What are you doing? Put the damn thing away"
She lowers it tucking it into a drawer beneath her
"Apologise to her, Louis. What you saw in the mirror, that's how you feel too and I don't know why because you've never done this before. Wait, did you? You wouldn't!"
"What?" Now I feel sheepish, maybe letting Niall in wasn't so bad.
"Did you, Louis?" She's making me feel like I'm in an interrogation and I'm about to call for my lawyer.
"Did what?" Play it dumb
"You know what. Did you........feed off of Sam? It’s the only possible reason for this”, she gestures up and down my body with her hands as she rises and stalks toward me.
"Niall's calling" knowing that her hearing is just as perfect as mine that was a stupid thing to say
"You did! How could you? You know the rules, Louis!"
"Did not!"
"Louis, you know that we aren't allowed to feed off of humans for a reason, why did you...........oh God, she's your mate isn't she? We only take blood from our partners, but you-"
She's interrupted by Niall and Harry falling through the door and landing face first on the ground. They recover instantly jumping to their feet at vamp speed and dusting themselves off.
"We wanted to know if you two wanted um....." Harry looks to Niall for help
"Pizzas" Niall volunteers
"Yeah, pizzas. Do you guys want pizzas?" Harry's eyes are wide as they stare at me, burning into my non-existent soul.
"You two were eavesdropping. I expected more from you Niall" Sarah scolds to which Niall drops his head in real shame
"What about me?" Harry seems offended
"Out! Both of you"
They leave very begrudgingly without closing the door.
"The door!" Sarah speaks in a monotone knowing they can hear her.
The door is blown shut by a very vague dark blue figure that would go unnoticed by a human.
"Did you tell Roger? What did he say? I bet he was pissed" Sarah is on quick fire.
"He knows, he met her and he likes her"
"I like her but that doesn't mean you should....-"
"Should what, Sarah?"
"Feed off of her! That was......arrogant of you to take advantage of her like that. I didn't know it was this serious, because she was human I had no way of getting any vibes off of her and now...........I know I said apologise to her but this is new information and maybe it’s best to forget her and move on. Go back home, Louis"
"It’s none of your business anyway, Sarah. Thanks for nothing"
"No, it isn't but I know now and I'm......worried about you, Louis. She left you-"
"Yeah, I noticed" I scoff
"She left you and you're a mess. You've been in relationships before, everyone in this building can vouch for the fact that this has never happened to you before"
"True!" Two unwelcome voices chime in and my anger tips over. Don't they know boundaries?
I burst through the door to find them standing innocently by the kitchen island. Their smiles fall to the ground when they see me appear right in front of them.
"Shut up, both of you. Take something seriously for once." I spit and head for the door to leave.
***
SAM POV
"I like this one" José points to a particularly beautiful dream catcher and jumps up and down in an attempt to reach it. I take it down from the hook and hand it to him before handing a few notes over to the stall owner.
Nana dragged us down to a convention down at the local stadium and it is amazing but the last thing I want to do is walk around shopping with bags in my hand until my feet ache.
All three pets are here, Cheeky perched on Jase's shoulder and R&J walking stealthily beside us showing off to the other dogs.
"Sam, look at this" Nana waves from three stalls over and we make our way to her.
She's looking at several......spoons? They look like spoons with various dials and digits. Correction, they're James Bond spoons with a license to feed you cereal like never before.
My sarcasm and sense of humour have been both dry and cutting recently, all due to the large hole I felt in my chest that I can never see in the mirror. Wind whips past me rustling my hair and whistles as it screeches past the void in my soul threatening to expand it just to be cruel.
"Are those spoons?" Jase asks for me
"Yeah but they do so many things. This one weighs whatever’s in your spoon; this one tells you if it's too hot. Which one should I buy?"
"This one" Jase points to a bright blue one with a Spiderman motif on the handle. Typical.
"Sam?"
"Hmm" I'm biting my lip when I glance up at Nana from my thoughts.
"Do you like one?"
"Um.....no" I come across curt so I add "Thanks" to lighten my tone.
"I'll be over there" I tell Nana and walk over to an art booth/ stall. It’s got cameras and portraits, sculptures even. All are so detailed, beautiful.
The stall owner is nowhere in sight so I walk through the make-shift stands and isles browsing through the gadgets displayed on them. I come to a dead-end which is strange considering this is a tent. When I glance around I see that there's no one else in here but people continue to buzz about outside.
There's a painting hung up boldly at the end, framed with a deep brown wooden frame. The focal point of the work is a noughts and crosses game with three bright red x's running diagonally across the grid. Its familiar.......where did I see that before?
My mind takes me back to the person who I'm reminded of when I saw this. An exact copy of this image is tattooed on Louis' arm near his elbow. Absentmindedly I clutch the locket that still hangs around my neck with my thumb running over its face. My ruby slipper. I haven't opened the locket for a week now, but I haven't removed it because I felt that the void would completely consume me body and mind if I did, this was the glue keeping me together.
"Can I help you?" I'm interrupted by a young man standing with his hands in his jeans pockets.
He has tattoos on both his arms, in exquisite detail and his hair is an unruly chocolate brown.
"Oh sorry. I thought it was still open" I apologise
"It is. I'm Zayn and this is my stall. Do you like this painting?" His voice is hoarse but understandable.
"Sam. It’s very good, is it yours?"
His face changes and returns back to normal in a second. From the moment his expression changed, I could see his eyes soften as if in recognition but then pulling on a mask to hide those thoughts.
"Everything in here is mine. Unfortunately none of the paintings are for sale but I could show you something else"
Without waiting for a yes or no Zayn heads towards the entrance of the tent and stops in front of a glass case that holds about twenty photographers cameras.
"This is a beautiful piece of machinery, has the best clarity and has every feat you could want in a camera"
Why are we talking about cameras all of a sudden? I walk up to the stand and take the camera he's holding. I hold it up and aim the lens at a random couple at the stall opposite us.
"I think you'd like this one more, Sam" he takes the camera from me and replaces it with a more compact one that a sleek black with so many buttons.
"Here, take a picture of the painting" he shows me how to put it on and puts it on a specific setting.
I take a snap of the noughts and crosses painting and lower the camera to look at it. I was never the photographer kind, not even photogenic for that matter but it feels kinda fun to do it now. Smiling for the first time in five days I take a few more photos of other paintings hung on the walls.
"How much is it?" I ask Zayn
I leave the abstruse Zayn's stall and walk with a newly purchased camera wrapped safely in its box and placed in a bland white packet.
"There you are! What you got there?" Nanas instantly beside me with Jase at my other side eying my camera.
"I bought a camera"
"It’s the first thing you've bought here so I'm gonna go ahead and give it a thumbs up. I found something you'll like"
"What?"
"Sugarcane juice"
"NO WAY!" My excitement is authentic and I stop in my tracks. I've loved sugarcane juice ever since I was a kind and I haven't drunk it in over a decade.
"Here you go" she tosses me a clear plastic bottle permeated with a brownish green liquid that is oh-so-familiar from my childhood.
Taking a swig my face scrunches in an expression of strange but known familiarity to the drink.
"How's it taste?" Jase looks up at me
"Wanna try?" I offer him the bottle and he takes it warily but takes a sip before he decides that he actually likes the taste. Winking at him I turn to Nana who's smiling lovingly at our little show, I can tell she's thinking back to when I was Jase's age with silly dreams............and no broken heart.
"Are we done here? Can we go home now?" I ask her
"Yeah, yeah. Let's go" she interlocks her arm with mine and we manoeuvre through hundreds of people to get to the exit.
***
"Here you go" I smile at the middle-aged man as I hand him his packet.
Nana asked me if I could help her friend out at their new book/music store in town - she has a lot of friends - and of course, I said yes. I'd say yes to almost anything now if it means keeping me busy and my mind occupied to avoid wandering off into unbidden thoughts.
The manager of the store is Paul who happens to live on our street a couple houses down with his wife Pam. They're an elderly couple in their sixties but they are the two of the jolliest people I know, I'm envy them at times.
Today was my first day the Book/Music Store - that's its name - and I hurriedly make my way to the staff room to get my bag and leave. Ella will be waiting for me outside round about now because there's a party she refuses to go to without me despite my resistance.
As predicted Ella is parked outside the store and is waiting impatiently - because she is tapping her fingers on the steering wheel - inside. I walk around the car and get in on the passenger’s side.
"Do you know what time it is? We're going to be late" Ella's greeting is loud and annoying
"Good evening, Ella. Nice to see you too"
"Let's get you home so you can get ready. Because of your delay, you only get five minutes to be in and out. Got it?"
"Gee, thanks. What's so important about this party?"
"I've been so bored that I've nearly been driven to insanity so you better put on a fake smile and help me have a good time"
"You're the best friend a girl could ask for"
"Flattery will get you only so far, Miss. Hunter"
***
The mansion isn't familiar but the thumping music and pulsating bright lights are all too recognisable. I've been given enough time - courtesy of Ella - to drag on a simple navy dress with short sleeves and grab a jacket - which isn't of much assistance because it's now resting in Ella's car - my Toms sneakers had to remain on.
Ella's all too familiar with the surroundings as this is her 'element' but she goes nowhere without me because I have become her tail at these sorts of festivities. Young people are clinging to one another in their bathing suits or unnecessarily tight dresses. We walk through the house out to the backyard where there is are three pools situated next to each other, the last one's water has a few bubbles indicating that it may be a hot tub of some sort.
"You'll be fine, Sam. I'll be right back" Ella addresses me briefly then disappears into the mass of people that are jam-packed around us. Not again! Note to self: never go to a party ever again. Ever.
***
LOUIS POV
Maybe a party wasn't the best idea right now but I needed to do something else beside mope and this party looked very welcoming. I just wandered in no one thought to ask my identity or why I was here. The atmosphere is mood-lifting as I witness several people jumping into the pool completely intoxicated and others running up the stairs to get privacy to partake in more intimate activities.
Harry and Niall haven't tried calling - good decision - and I scan the pool area for any familiar faces but find none, I'd like nothing better than to talk to- Oh no. She's here, Sam's here. Her scent of slight cologne and shampoo is pronounced in the alcohol-filled air. Searching for her I find her standing on the opposite side of the pool looking rather uncomfortable, her hands hugging herself. Who doesn't she have a jacket with her? I nearly end up walking toward her to ask that very same question when I halt in my tracks when the reason why I can't do that becomes apparent.
She's waving at someone and momentarily I think it’s me but glancing to my left I see Tony, the bastard who wants Sam. I'm walking towards him - not sure on what I'm going to do yet - when someone beats me to him. The person is slightly older than I am and stands unnoticed behind Tony. Using his strength as a weapon and intoxication as an excuse he shoves Tony hard enough to send him stumbling right into the pool. Whoever that psycho was, I thank him.
Tony gets out of the pool looking beyond pissed at whoever it was that pushed him. I glance over at Sam who's running toward Tony and I feel a stab of betrayal even though I shouldn't. She grabs a towel from one of the pool chairs and makes her way to him. Tony now stands aggressively in front of his advancer ready to grab his throat with the crowd cheering on a fight but Sam gets in the middle and tugs Tony away. She's touching him, why is she doing that? She knows I hate him but she's the most stubborn woman I know.
***
SAM POV
"Wear these, I found them in the closet" I toss Tony the clothes I found and turn to leave. Some asshole decided to liven things up by shoving Tony into the pool. With Tony's rep it would have bumped him up a few levels on the social chart.
"Sam" Tony calls after me
"Yup?"
"You and the guy from the diner, Louis. Are you two....?”
"Why?"
"Nothing"
Just when I thought I was home free, he calls me back.
"Yes, Tony?"
He's standing now, shirt discarded on the ground and he strides up to me. I back up a little when he gets too close and hold my hand out in front of me, it doesn't stop him as he continues walking even with my hand pressed flat against his chest.
"Tony. Stop" my voice is intimidated but firm
"I've liked you for a long time, Sam. But I never got the chance to show you that because either that diner guy was with you or the nerd Zack"
"Tony. Seriously, back off"
"Don't be afraid of me, I'm not gonna hurt you. I can do so much more; make you feel like he never could"
Fear, panic and anger rise and are at DEFCON 1 as my hand fumbles behind me for the door handle. Where the Hell is it? With Tony standing so close to me I feel uncomfortable and my mind unknowingly drifts to when Louis would stand close to me, I welcomed it never wanting him to move away. The polar opposite reaction to what I want right now.
Yes! My hand closes around the door handle and I yank it open clumsily slamming the door against my back but I ignore the shock of pain, backing out of the room at optimum speed and slamming the door closed.
Louis was right, is my first thought. I stand immobile in front of the door with my hand on the knob. I release the handle and slump against the doors adjacent wall.
It’s happened AGAIN. I could make a tally of how many times this fucking happens. Why can't they just leave me alone? Tears come unannounced rolling down my face onto the carpeted floor. I want.........I want to go home to my Nana, Jason and- crap Jason! He's at a sleepover and I'm supposed to pick him up at 21:00. I leap up and run toward the staircase, jumping down two at a time - a risky attempt - before coming to a halt at the base trying to figure out which way to go.
I feel rather than see him, the tiny hairs on my nape standing on their ends like static electricity was present. It’s the energy that always exploded within me when he was near - really near - and I look up from my contemplation to see Louis standing right in front of me with a cup in his hand. He was here?
"Hey" he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. His eyes, they were so beautifully blue but now they dawn a lifeless and emotionless feel.
"Hey. Sorry, I'm blocking your way" I gesture to the stairs behind me and shuffle out of the way.
"I wasn't going upstair- Sam? Sam, what's wrong?" He tosses the cup away and it falls to the ground a few feet from us, spilling its golden contents all over the porcelain tiles.
His hand reaches up and brushes a strand of my hair out of my eyes, then holding the side of my face while his eyes search mine, begging for some sort of answer. I remain quiet, secretly enjoying the feel of his hand. His touch is what I've been craving for the past week, now he's here but I can't have him. Another traitor of a tear rolls down my cheek, Louis' finger trapping it.
"He......he hit on you, didn't he? The bastard" he looks away, staring at the rooms above the stairs. The look in his eyes in crazed and I'm afraid he'll do something he'll regret.
"I'm fine"
"Fine? He made you cry and for that he will die"
He steps around me heading for the stairs but I grab hold of his arm.
"Please don't, Louis"
"Why shouldn't I? He....he did that to you" he’s a step above me adding to his towering height
"He didn't do anything to me so please just forget it. Please"
His hesitation is physically visible as he glances back and forth from me to the stairs to my hold on his arm. I release it when he steps down to my level and holds my gaze with is, trying to find something in my eyes.
"Who did you come here with?" He breaks the silence
"Oh um, Ella. She's somewhere around"
"Will you be going home with her?"
"I hope so"
A gasp escapes my lips when I hear someone else calling my name from the top of the stairs. Tony. Oh please lord, don't see me. Louis sees the panic in my eyes and pushes me out of his view, back against a wall with his body leaning his arm that's pressed against the wall above my head. Louis' sudden actions made me lose my footing, my hand grabbing his shirt to regain my balance.
His face his inches from mine, my sub conscious sits up from her week-long hibernation and gawks at what she sees. Crap.
Louis' eyes burn into mine, trying and failing to hide the urge to lean a little closer. My own sub conscious mocks my stupidity at overreacting and leaving this man, the only man who's touched me.
When I know Tony has dismounted the stairs and went in search of me I wait to Louis to move but he doesn't, frozen in his position his pained expression becoming more and more visible. I want nothing more than to ease his pain but what would that mean?
"Louis"
"I miss you, Sam"
His words sure do come like a wrecking ball, and I hit home with the realisation that I've been so incredibly selfish.
"I miss you too" the words are a revelation to us both.
"I've.......I've been thinking about you and how egotistical it was of me to do what I did, it made me lose you and it brought on a pain that is inexplicable. Sam, I know you're mad at me-"
"I'm not mad, it was silly not to talk to you and just storm off. I'm sorry"
"No, baby, don't apologise"
"I've cried so much"
"Why? You shouldn't cry, love. Tears aren't pretty"
Several minutes of silence pass between us, Louis' thumb running over my knuckles, I missed this so much.
"Can I come back?" His voice is audible only to me
"Where?" I'm slightly confused
"To you. These five days have been sheer hurt for me, my apartment doesn't feel like home anymore without you", he steps closer, our front pressed against each other and his hands hover above my hips.
His eyes speak for him when he asks permission to.......do what? Not knowing how to respond I place my hands on his and bring them down to my waist. Taking my actions as an acceptance he leans in and buries his face in my hair, fingertips pressing into my dress securing their position.
"You're my home, Sam. And I can't bear to lose you again, promise me you won't leave me again", his eyes gaze earnestly into mine, “If I can't have you then I don't know what I'll do but no one is worthy of you. Not even me"
"Louis, I've been through Hell and back these past five days. Seeing you with Savannah was one of the worst-"
"I promise you I didn't do anything"
He's speaking against the skin of my neck and I resist the urge to laugh because it tickles. My hands have nowhere to go so they've settled on Louis' arms.
"I still love you, my feelings for you haven't changed" I speak softly.
His hold on my waist has tightened as he lifts his head to look at me. I decide that its time for me to be brave so I stretch up using Louis' arms for balance and press my lips to his, hoping that the time I've decided to grow a pair I haven't embarrassed myself.
My doubts are put to rest when I feel Louis' arms wrap all the way around my waist forming an impenetrable cage. His press hard against mine as he begs for entrance, I allow his request. My hands knot themselves in his hair as our kiss deepens, spilling all the hurt and devastation of the past few days that seemed like years. The forbidden desires from unexplored parts deep in my belly have arisen.
"Come home with me" Louis says when he breaks the kiss. My oxygen levels are at zero, I gasp to refill my demanding lungs with what they require.
Notes
Hey :) I know said Chapter 13 would be the last for a little while but had 3 days between papers so decided to take a break from studying.Amour is nominated for an Emmee Award and if my amazing readers could please vote and help Amour get votes, I'll love you all forever. (link below)
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1PzfuYch5d6ehyLr5uSacuTFuuV4LUTx-IWIyYAPBgM0/viewform
Stay Awesome
Suman
Heck yeah! I'm dying to know what happens next!
1/21/14