"Why Harry?", I ask, a huge from on my face.
"Is that a problem?", Lou asked.
"Yes it is actually", I say, crossing my arms.
"Aw why?", she asked, looking a little sad.
"He is a pig! I can't stand him! Why would I want to spend my Christmas with him?", I spat.
"Well, Hadley, You have no choice. I didn't raise you to be ungrateful. You are going to allow Harry to stay here with you for Christmas while you look after your god-daughter", my mother said, obviously scared that Lou will cancel the trip.
"Your a great mother! Leaving your seventeen year old daughter on Christmas with some nineteen year old pervert who doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself!", I shout before storming upstairs, taking Lux with me. I slam my bedroom door, sitting lux on my bed. She begins giggling and bouncing her little bottom up and down on the soft bed, playing with my big stuffed elephant that sat on the end.
I smiled at the little girl. I really did miss her.
I couldn't believe my mother!
If my little rant about her not caring earlier didn't convince you, that sure did!
"I am getting sick and tired and being forgotten and not cared about Lux. You seem to be the only one who cares", I smile, kissing Lux's cheek before sitting on the bed next to her. "They don't even care that we are going to be alone on Christmas. But that doesn't matter anymore. We can have the best Christmas ever, without that curly haired creep", I say to the little girl, knowing she doesn't understand. But that's why I like to talk to her, because she can't judge me or say something back. She just listens.
I sigh, falling back and I start thinking about my mother. She never cared. I would always be the child to go without. I remember when I was in the tenth grade and my sisters needed my mother to pick them up from work. My mother picked them up, but forgot about me. I had to catch the bus home, and when I arrived they were sitting at the table eating dinner, chatting and laughing.
It was upsetting. it was the moment that I started to figure out that my mother didn't care for me as much as she cared for my sisters. Sometimes, I wish my father was still alive, so I would have someone who thought of me as the most special thing in the world.
We were very close, me and dad. He would always say I was his 'Golden Girl'. After he had gotten cancer and died, everything started to slip away. I felt more unwanted than ever. Since then, I have taken the back seat. I haven't complained once to my mother about how she just doesn't care about me.

I looked at Lux as she began poking my cheek, giggling.
I began to play with her until she started to fuss and get grumpy.
I was probably in the room with her for an hour and a half before I decided to take her downstairs to Lou or Tom.
As I made my way into the kitchen with Lux, all four of them (Mum, Lou, Tom and Harry) were eating dessert.
They looked up at me and stared. "Yum, is that cake?", I asked, opening the fridge, looking for the cake that they must have brought.
When I couldn't find it, I looked over to them. They were all still staring. "Where is it?", I asked.
"Umm, I completely forgot about you. You can have some of these though", My mother said, holding out a packet of Oreos.
"That's okay, I'm used to being forgotten", I say, gently shoving Lux into Tom's lap, still holding eye contact with my mother. I scurried upstairs without another word and slammed my door, making sure they all heard. I could hear them talking quietly with each other.
Being forgotten. Being whispered about. I feel like I am a circus act.
A small tear escaped my eye before I quickly swiped it away.

I stood in the middle of my room, not really knowing what to do.
I don't blame Lou. I blame my mother.
Looking back on my life, there was never really a moment that she proved to me that she was my mum. She may be a mother. But not my mum.
I guess I have just always hoped that she would make it up to me. But she never has.
Don't get me wrong, I have spent good moments with her. But only when it is only us and my sisters are not in town.
I guess I will just have to suck it up and move on. Like I said I would.
I slipped my pajamas on and crawling under my duvet, slowly drifting to sleep and forcing myself to stop thinking about my mother.

Notes

Okay, so I have kind of changed the way the mother is perceived in this story. Just a heads up, the mother really isn't a character you will like. She will be like this throughout the entire book.
ANYWAYSSSS, VOTE, COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE :)