University Of London (BEING EDITED)

Maddie’s P.O.V

“Tell me.” I said drinking more of my drink. “Urr, we shouldn’t. Harry swore us to secrecy.” Perrie said. “I don’t care. Come on.” “Fine, when he left you in California he hooked up with a girl a couple of days after he got back. He told us that she was better than you and you were gone out of his life forever. She was always at our apartment and every night he was fucking her. She was around for about three weeks before he finally started to miss you and then he broke down.” El told me. I felt tears come into my eyes. I stood up and ran to the bathroom. I locked the door and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy and I felt like shit. “I knew we shouldn’t have told her.” I heard Dani say. “I can’t keep that from my best friend. It’s been killing me ever since. Harry should never have done it or at least told her by now.” I wiped my tears and walked back into the bedroom refilling my glass. “Maddie, you’re pregnant, don’t drink too much.” Perrie advised but I ignored her. I drank some of the wine before putting down my glass. “I’m sorry.” I apologised. “What for?” “For crying.” “You don’t have to apologise for crying.” El said. “I hate him so much.” I muttered. “Look, he loves you. No one else just you.” Dani said. “This is your night, I’m just ruining it, I’ll go next door, have a good night.” I picked up the keys off the side and my stuff and unlocked the door that joins the two rooms together. I walked in and put my stuff down on the bed before breaking down in tears again. I couldn’t move out of my room when he was doing that, I cut again, fell back into depression and all he did was sleep with some other girl. He probably doesn’t even regret it. I hate myself for falling for him and for getting pregnant with his kids twice, and for marrying him. I know we weren’t technically together but we were still married. I heard the door open and wiped away my tears. Perrie came in and sat down on the bed next to me. “Shhh, don’t cry Maddie, it’s okay.” She hugged me. “I hate myself, and I hate him.” “Don’t say that, you have every right to hate him at the moment but don’t ever hate yourself. You’re amazing at everything. You’re one of my best friends and I love you to pieces. I know you went through a tough time but that was then, he loves you, he really does.” She told me. “If he loved me he wouldn’t have done that, wouldn’t have said that I was out of his life forever. I didn’t want to come back. I wanted to die then.” I cried. “We should never have told you. I’m so sorry.” Perrie said. The others came in. “Should we call Harry?” Dani asked. “No, don’t call Harry. I don’t want to see him or speak to him again.” I said. “It was a long time ago Maddie. You’re pregnant with his baby now, you can’t leave.” El reminded me. “I know I’m pregnant but it’s not too late for an abortion. I can’t just forgive him for this. I was depressed and self-harming again because of him and he was just sleeping with some girl. He doesn’t give a crap about me.” I said. “That’s it. I’m calling Harry. You’re not aborting that baby. He made a mistake just like you did with Matt. Come on, he doesn’t have to know that you know. You can just hit him in his sleep.” Dani laughed. I smiled slightly. “Me and Matt wasn’t as bad. I never even kissed him let alone slept with him.” “I know but come on, let’s have fun. It’s my big day tomorrow. You can sleep if you want but please make sure you’re okay to be my maid of honour tomorrow gorgeous.” Dani tucked a damp strand of hair behind my ear. I cringed when I heard her call me gorgeous. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that, sorry.” She said. “Don’t worry. I’m going to sleep now but you guys have fun. I’ll be okay in the morning.” I smiled. “Are you sure?” They asked. “Yeah. Thank you.” I said and they went back into the other room. I got my pyjamas out of my bag and put them on before brushing my teeth and getting into bed. I looked at my phone.

From: Harry<3<3xxx
Are you having fun babe? I love you x

I unlocked my phone and deleted it, turning the phone off and going to sleep.

I woke up and looked at the time. 8am. Perrie was still fast asleep next to me. I got out of bed and went next door. Danielle was up but Eleanor was still asleep. “Hey,” I said. “Are you okay now?” Danielle asked standing up to hug me. “Yeah, this is your day, enjoy it.” I smiled. “Thank you, I will, first we need to wake up El and Perrie though!” She told me. “I’ll wake up Perrie, you do El.” I said walking back into my room. “Perrie.” I shook her gently. She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Are you alright?” She asked. “I’m fine. Come on, you need to get up.” I told her. She got out of bed and we both went next door. “Right, the dresses are downstairs because that’s where the wedding is being held. They said we can go down in our pyjamas because no one else apart from us and a few staff are going to be here.” Danielle told us. We took our keys and went downstairs. We found the dresses and were admiring Danielle’s when the hairdresser came in and we all got our hair and make-up done and then it was time to get into our dresses. “You all look stunning.” The hairdresser said putting the finishing touches like jewellery to our outfits. “I have a headache…” El complained holding her head. “How much did you drink?” I asked her. “Not much I swear, only a bottle.” She laughed. We laughed too and were told that we needed to get properly sorted because the wedding starts in 10 minutes. Danielle started to get nervous as we all put on our shoes. “Come on, it will be okay, Louis texted and told me they’re on their way.” Eleanor comforted her. I couldn’t help but think that I was meant to be doing that but I’m more worried about facing Harry. I can’t. “Think happy thoughts.” Perrie said to Danielle. “Can I marry Liam? You can have Harry.” I turned to her. “Nah, I’m good. Please don’t kick off at Harry. Pretend you don’t know.” Dani said. “No, I’m not going to kick off but I’m not going to talk to him. Why should I? He should have at least told me by now so I didn’t have to find out from my best friends. He’s been lying to me for months.” I said and then reminded Dani that this was HER day and not mine. She smiled and her dad came in. “They’re ready for you Danielle. Are you ready?” “Yep.” She said looking down at her dress. “Is Liam here?” She asked. “Yes, he looks very smart. I’m really happy that I get to give you to him. You look stunning.” Her dad replied. I smiled remembering what my dad had said at my reception. “Let’s go.” They said. I tried my best to look happy as we walked out of the room and into the hall. I could see the boys at the other end of the aisle. Perrie whispered to me as we walked down the aisle to calm me down. We got to the altar and Danielle’s dad passed her to Liam. Harry smiled at me but I just looked down at the floor. “Forget about it for today okay, it’s going to be alright and we’ll all be here for you every step of the way but fight after – not now.” Perrie whispered in my ear. I fake-smiled at her and she smiled back at me. I looked for Brooklyn and she was with Gemma. She smiled at me and I smiled back – properly this time. Danielle and Liam said their vows and then exchanged rings looking into each other’s eyes the whole time. Then they were allowed to kiss. We all clapped, or as well as we could with bouquets in our hands, and then followed them out of the hall in partners. Of course, Harry was with me. “Why the face like thunder?” Harry whispered. I ignored him and stopped to take Brooklyn from Gemma. We walked into the room where the reception was being held and took our places at the tables. We were on a table with Zayn, Perrie, Niall, Brooklyn, Louis, Eleanor and the twins. Perrie was sitting in between Harry and Zayn and I was sitting in between Brooklyn and Eleanor, Brooklyn in between Harry and I. “Too much to drink?” Harry asked. “Just shut up okay.” I snapped. Zayn asked Perrie what was wrong with me and when she told him he just nodded. “Will you just tell me what’s wrong?” Harry carried on. “She knows okay, she knows what you did when you left her in California.” Perrie told him. I pushed my chair away from the table making it screech on the wood flooring and walked out towards the toilets with everyone’s eyes on me. I stayed in there looking at myself in the mirror for a while and when I opened the door Harry was standing there. “Let me explain, please.” “Shut up, I hate you. I hate that I was depressed and self-harming again and you were just sleeping with another girl. Let’s pretend to be happy but after today,” I paused for a while bracing myself for what I was about to say. “We’re finished Harry.” I told him. “W-what?” He stammered. “We’re finished. I want nothing to do with you.” I said. “Just let me explain.” He pleaded. “Fucking explain later, I’m not ruining Danielle and Liam’s day. I’m not doing that to them.” I grabbed his hand and walked back into the room smiling, well, fake-smiling. We sat back down. “Are you okay?” El asked me. “I’m fine.” I replied. I let go of Harry’s hand and we ate our meal before the speeches began. First was Liam. “Thank you all for coming and celebrating our wedding with us, we’ve waited for this day for so long and for it finally come is amazing. We’ve shared today with all the people we hold close to our hearts and finally we are married. After a lot of preparation and I’m sure nerves from both parties, we are Mr and Mrs Payne. Thank you. I love you Dani.” Liam smiled down at her and sat down. Then it was Niall, the best man. “Liam has wanted this for ages now. I remember him telling me when we were on the x-factor that he liked this dancer called Danielle and got her number but I never imagined it going this far. Liam and Danielle make each other happy, no, they make each other ecstatic and I’m so glad that they chose me to be their best man on their special day. I’m glad Liam finally got his wish and Dani, you’re stuck with him now. I wish you all the happiness in the world.” He smiled and sat down. Now it’s my turn, yay… I stood up. “Well, Liam and Danielle are my best friends and I love them to pieces. They absolutely adore each other and they were made for each other. They’ve had their ups and downs on the way but they’ve finally got here. They’re married to each other and it’s what they both wanted. I wasn’t with them from the start but as soon as I met them I knew they were in love. I wish them all happiness in life and good luck with their marriage because for god sake it’s hard work,” I looked down at Harry who had a sad expression on his face. “But these two will make it work, they’re the perfect couple and they will be together forever. I love you two, congratulations.” I picked up my glass. “To Liam and Danielle.” I held it up. Everyone joined in on the toast and I sat back down. Harry put his hand on my leg but I pushed it off. “That must have been hard for you. It’s going to be okay, you know that don’t you?” El whispered. “It was, and I guess but I’m about to lose my husband. It’s not going to be easy. And then there’s Brooke to think about and the baby, it’s too much but I can’t forgive him. I hate him.” I whispered back. She took my hand in hers. “I’m here for you, whatever happens.” She squeezed my hand. We missed Danielle’s dad’s speech because Danielle was standing up. “I’m so happy that we made it here. I had such a great hen do last night and have a headache to prove it. But anyway, Liam is my dream come true, I adore him and will never ever let him go. He made me so happy when he proposed and of course I had to say yes. I’ve wanted to be here for years, on my wedding day with Liam and all of you, and now I am. As Mrs Danielle Payne and married to my soul mate. You’re trapped now Liam. You’re not leaving. You’re mine! I love you so much. Thank you all for coming to our wedding and I know it was hard for some of you but thank you anyway. You smiled through it and put your problems aside to watch me tie the knot with my amazing husband so thank you all.” She sat back down. We talked at our tables and they got up and started to walk around talking. Liam spoke to Harry whilst Danielle pulled me away. “Does he know?” “Yeah, Perrie told him because he wouldn’t stop asking why I was ignoring him. I told him that after today we’re finished. I can’t face him after this. He could have been cheating on me and I wouldn’t know. I know we weren’t technically together then but it’s just what he said. That she was better than me and I was gone forever. I nearly was, I was so close to killing myself. But anyway, congratulations.” I hugged her. “Thank you, we aren’t having a honeymoon so we’ll be here all day and you’re okay to stay in this hotel for a while. I spoke to Liam and he said he’d pay for a room and stuff.” “No, I can pay for a room. Don’t worry.” I told her. “You’re my best friend; let me do something for you.” “You did, you’ve saved me from the biggest mistake of my life.” I said. “I helped split you and your husband up more like, I’m not having you two split up. You’re pregnant with his baby for god sake.” “There’s an easy way to sort that out. I just have an abortion.” I said. “No. You’re going to work through this with Harry and me, El and Pez are going to be there every step of the way. Go and talk to some people to stay away from Harry for now.” She said. I nodded and walked over to Gemma. “What’s happened?” She asked me. “Is it that obvious?” I sat next to her. “Yes it is. First you walk out of the room and Harry follows after you and now you’re avoiding him and he’s looking at you like’s he sorry about something. What’s he done?” “I found out something that he did. It was a while ago but he basically cheated even if we were technically split up. He said I was gone forever and this other girl was better than me. He was sleeping with her for three weeks until he started to miss me apparently.” I told her. “That idiot. He’s my brother and I love him but he’s such an idiot sometimes. I love you so much and hate seeing you two split up. I don’t like losing my sister.” She smiled. “Plus, you have this little one to think about.” She put her hand on my stomach. “He told you then?” “With great delight, he loves you so much. Speak of the devil, here he comes.” She said. “Maddie please.” He begged. “Just leave me alone, please.” I stood up and walked back to our table. “He didn’t know what he was doing, he was drunk half the time,” Louis told me. “Don’t fucking defend him. I don’t care, it’s no excuse. I was so close to killing myself and he was just fucking another woman, didn’t give what his wife was doing, he wouldn’t have cared it I had killed myself.” I said. “Don’t say that. Harry loves you; of course he would have cared.” Harry walked back over. “Please can we talk? Upstairs maybe?” He asked. I nodded knowing I wasn’t going to get out of it and walked up to mine and Perrie’s room. I had the key so I unlocked the door and walked in. “What?” I said. “Maddie, we were broken up, I didn’t like her, it was just my way of not feeling the pain.” “Would it have been okay if I’d slept with another guy then? And then kept it from you for months? I wouldn’t have cared so much if you had told me.” He didn’t answer. “I didn’t think so.” “Maddie, we have a child to think about and you’re pregnant, you can’t just leave me.” “You can have Brooke, I’ll abort the baby. There, done.” I said. “No. You’re not aborting our baby.” He said. “I’ll do what I want just like you did with her.” I walked towards the door but he grabbed my wrist firmly and pulled me back. His grip was tightening and starting to hurt. “Harry, you’re hurting me.” I whimpered. “You’re not having an abortion. We can work through this.” He said. “What if I had killed myself? What then?” I asked. “I would have broken down, not been able to cope, I should never have said or done what I did, I know I shouldn’t have. I should only have slept with one woman and that woman is you. I love you Maddie, only you.” He told me. I noticed that he was still holding my wrist and he let go. “I’ll think about it but if we didn’t have a baby on the way there would have been no thinking. I would have left and never came back.” I said before walking out of the room and going back downstairs. “Where were you? I looked for you and you and Harry were nowhere to be seen, what happened?” Danielle rushed over to me. “Nothing, we just talked that’s all.” “And?” “And I said I’d think about it but only for Brooklyn and this baby’s sake.” I put my hand on my stomach. She smiled and hugged me and then went to talk to some other guests. I looked down at my wrist which was starting to go red. I went back to the table and sat down next to El again. Louis had Kayleigh and Perrie was holding Sam. I looked for Brooklyn and found her in Harry’s arms. El turned to me. “What did he say?” “He told me I wasn’t having an abortion, and that he should have done it and I said I’d think about it but only for the baby and Brooklyn.” I told her. She noticed my wrist and held it up. “Did he do this?” She asked. “No, I had a really bad itch so that’s from scratching it.” I made up. “Don’t cover for him, did Harry do this?” “Okay yes, but he didn’t mean to. I walked away and he pulled me back.” “Maddie, he hurt you.” She said. “He didn’t mean to.” I defended him again. “It doesn’t matter, he still did, here, have this to cover it, if it bruises I’m going to kill Harry.” She handed me her bracelet. I put it on and hugged her before going back to Gemma. “Sorted?” She asked. “Not really.” I said sitting down. “But he looks happier.” She looked at him and I turned around. He was smiling and laughing with Niall. “Yeah well that’s him. He probably thinks that I’m going to forgive him straight away but there’s absolutely no way that’s happening. I can’t.” I told her. “Just don’t do anything drastic okay? He a prick and I know it but promise me you won’t do anything drastic.” “I promise you Gemma. I won’t.” I looked behind me and saw Perrie and Danielle. They gestured for me to go over to them so I said goodbye to Gemma and walked over. “Right, Perrie is staying with you tonight and I’m staying with Liam too. Same rooms as last night okay? Perrie thinks it will be good for you to have a proper girly night, no husbands involved at all. Zayn agreed and Harry doesn’t have a choice.” Danielle said. “Okay, yeah, as long as you don’t mind.” I turned to Perrie. “Why would I mind? You’d be there for me so I’m here for you.” She hugged me. “Thanks Perrie. I love you girls so much.” I said to them before El came over cradling Kayleigh. “Hey baby girl,” I said. “Can I?” I held out my arms. “Of course, here.” El handed her to me. I held her in my arms and we talked for a while and Danielle left to go to her family. Perrie, Eleanor and I continued to talk until Eleanor and Louis left because the twins were getting tired. “Right, I’m going to say goodbye to Zayn and then we’re going up to our room okay?” Perrie said. I nodded and she walked over to Zayn. “What’s going on?” Harry came over carrying Brooklyn. “I’m staying here tonight. I’m not coming home. Look after Brooke.” I said kissing her head. He looked hurt but he hurt me so he deserved it right? “Okay, see you tomorrow?” He said. “Maybe, I might stay at my apartment for a few days.” I told him. “What? There’s no bed there or anything.” Harry pointed out. “Oh well, I’m not staying with you.” I said before Perrie waved me over. I left Harry and walked over to her. “Is everything okay?” She asked. “Yeah, I just told Harry that I’m not coming home for a few days. After tonight I’m staying at my apartment.” I replied. “You don’t have to do that, stay at my house.” She said. “Are you sure?” I checked. “Of course, there is no furniture at your apartment and I’m not having a pregnant woman sleep on the floor.” She told me. I laughed and Zayn came over to say one last goodbye. Perrie and I went over to Liam and Danielle quickly. “Try to be quiet tonight, and lock the door if you’re going to do it.” Perrie laughed. “We won’t, not tonight.” Danielle said with Liam’s arm wrapped around her waist. “Congratulations guys.” I said. “Maddie, I’m sorry.” Liam said. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault, I’ll be okay.” I smiled and hugged them both. Perrie and I went up to our room and as I left I could feel Harry watching me. I hate leaving him but I really do hate him at the moment. We got up to our room and sat down on the bed. “So, that’s us done for a while now!” Perrie laughed. “No more bridesmaids required.” She said. “I know. I wish Louis would just propose already.” I said. Perrie smiled. “Have you spoken to Belle lately?” She asked. “Ummm, not since she told me her and Jack split up no.” I admitted. “Why not? You’re best friends, surely you miss her?” “Not really, I have you, El and Dani instead.” I said. “Okay, how about we go shopping tomorrow to take your mind off Harry.” She suggested. “Yeah okay, but can you go and pick up Brooke in the morning? I feel bad about leaving her.” “Okay, I’ll pick her up and take her back for you.” “Thanks, thank you for being here for me.” “No problem, we shouldn’t have told you but now we’re trying to make up for it.” Perrie said. “No, I’m glad you told me. He’s lied to me for ages and I’m just glad that I know the truth now.” I replied. She smiled. “I’ve missed girly nights. We never have them anymore, since you had Brooke they just kind of went out of the window.” She told me. “I know, to be honest it’s because I didn’t trust Harry alone with her. I would say we should have more now but I can’t drink so they wouldn’t be much fun. Me drunk is one of the funniest things for you isn’t it?” I said. She laughed and nodded. “You’re a hilarious drunk.” She answered and started telling me stories of what I’ve done when I’ve been drunk. “Those were the days. Before I was tied down with a kid.” I said. “I think the best time we’ve all had together was in California when Eleanor was ill. Just because we were together and your house is amazing.” She said. “Thanks. I really want to go back there. I miss Cali so much. When I went back about 2 months ago it was just so nice to be back there. To be honest, I might finish Uni and move back there.” I told her. “What about Harry?” “If we’re still together then I’ll persuade him to move out there with me. It will be hard though because of all of you.” I admitted. “I wouldn’t mind living in California! I’ll join you!” Perrie laughed. We talked for hours about old memories and plans for the future until we were really tired and decided to go to sleep.

Notes