Talk Dirty To Me

TWO MONTHS LATER

*FLASHBACK*

“so were you just planning on ignoring me? how was that even going to work we have the same group of friends.” Louis said walking closer to me.

“i dont know okay! i needed time to think.. “ i sighed.

“okay.. well then lets hear it.”

I took a deep breath trying not to cry, this whole thing was so stressful i shouldn't have ever let it get that far with Louis..

“i think.. that what we had was a mistake.. i think..”

“we should just pretend it never happened.” he finished exactly what i was thinking.

“yeah.. that we let it go far.. and that well yeah like you said.. pretend it never happened.” i said taking a deep breath trying my best not to cry.

i don’t know why i was so upset over this, I love Harry and Louis has El. what we had was just lust.. and confusion.. and being lonely..

“ yeah.. exactly.. its just.. i don't know if i can just forget you.. as much as I've tried you're all i think about..” he spoke barley above a whisper walking towards me and holding my face in his hands.

“i don't know if i can forget Kylie”. He whispered swiping the tears away from under my cheeks.

When we heard the front door re open we jumped apart and i gestured for him to follow me to my bedroom and quietly shut the door behind us.

i took a deep breath getting ready to tell him that it was done with us, that i had completely moved on from him.. and i was now over this whole thing. that i just wanted to erase him and carry on with Harry.

But as i opened my mouth to talk he gently pressed his lips to mine…

*end of Flash back*

I shook my head trying to rid my mind of that day, the day that i finally spoke with Louis.. as i looked across the bonfire to my use to be friend i couldn't help but frown. he was like a stranger to me now.. i hated it.

two months.. two months since I moved back home. two months of making up for lost time with Harry. Two months of pure bliss. The mood around Harry and I was always happy, Alexis and Niall made up and the group started to get back into the swing of things.

you would think after what happened before we would go through periods of sadness, but we didn't. we talked about everything that happened, expressed how we felt and prided ourselves off of the fact that our group was a giant family, no secrets.

and the fact that my whole group was honest made me feel like shit.

i never told Harry the truth i could never bring myself to look in those beautiful green eyes and tell him that i had lied.. that i had been with someone while we were apart..

who just happened to be your best friend…

and i couldn't do that to Eleanor.. or Louis for that matter. We both admitted we made a mistake, and that we needed to move on. to keep it a secret.

Things with Louis and I were never the same, and as much as i missed him i would miss Harry more. I would miss walking up to him, the way he would hold me tighter if i moved in my sleep, how he would tell me how he loved me when at the most random times, the way he made me feel safe, how he made me laugh. i would just miss him..

that being said not talking to Louis was hard. really hard, especially since we all hung out together all the time. there was always an award tension between us, maybe its because we never really got the closure we deserved.. or maybe it was just guilt but i had learned things would never be the same between us.

Maybe if we ended it differently things would have been different between us.. well thats what i tell myself anyways. I had completely convinced my mind over these past two months to consume my thoughts into all things Harry.

Because I knew if i let my thoughts wonder for more than a second, i would be able to admit how a little part of my heart ached without Louis.. he helped me more than any one could have after the whole thing with Harry, Monica, and Dominic. He fixed me.

He made me smile, and not go every two seconds without breaking into tears thinking about Harry and stupid Monica.

i wish it would of just stayed friendly.. because i would still have him.

“ready to go baby?” Harry whispered in my ear interrupting my thoughts.

I nodded my head in response and waved sleepily to the group before taking Harrys hand in mine and walking towards the car.

“did you have fun tonight? Harry asks once we get inside, after opening my door of course.

“yeah i did.” i shake my head giving him a sleepy smile. “you?”

“yeah i did. Always do when your with me.” i looked up at him my smile spread across my face and kissed his cheek.

“i love you.” i whispered as i pulled away slowly.

He grabbed my hand and rested our hands in my lap and drove towards the house.

The rest of the car ride was silent.. almost too quiet and with quiet gives me time to think i tried my best to let my mind only focus on Harry but of course with Louis already on my mind.. my thoughts didn't listen and drifted off to the blue eyed boy..

*FLASHBACK*

Kylie.. tell him. tell him to stop kissing you, push him away.

DO SOMETHING

so i did i lost myself in him . Our Hands wondering, groans and heavy breathing only growing the longer we kissed.

Once we were panting and half naked he lifted me up my legs wrapping around his waist and walked us back to my bed.

there were no words only gasps and moans as we worked each other up and then finally giving ourselves over. He rocked his hips into mine over and over again, it wasn't rough sex.. slow and sensual. almost like an over passionate goodbye.

Once it was over we laid there in silence only the sound of our panting trying to catch our breaths. This was not supposed to happen, but maybe in some twisted way it was just what we needed. a final goodbye.

we both rolled over onto our sides coming face to face. Louis slowly raised his hand to push hair behind my face and then laid his forehead on mine.

“this wasn't supposed to happen…” he mumbled against my skin

“i know.”

“i was expecting you to push me out the door, i mean you avoided me like i was a disease.” he some what laughed and i did the same.

“i know. im sorry.” i sighed and he moved his lips down so he could look at me. He moved in and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. then pulled away giving me a look like he knew what i was going to say next.

“this is over now Louis.”

“i know.” he gave a sad smile. “im going to miss you.. not just this.. but you. everything.”

“i know me too.” i nodded

The rest of our time was spent in silence. we both got dresses and i prayed that the lump in my throat would fade away..

we slowly walked towards the door in my room that would lead to the front yard. when i looked up at him i felt the first tear hit my cheek.

“dont cry Kylie.” he said pulling me in for a hug. “Harry he really loves you.. and i know you love him too. just think of me as a distraction, or a reminder of what you had back here. how much being with me made you miss him.”

I let more tears fall and nodded against his chest. he was right being with Louis did make me miss harry, but not because i thought of Harry when we were together, in the way that Louis brought joy back into my life and when i really broke it down i knew that if i didn't have Harry anymore no one would be able to bring me back and if i lost Louis.. i would be sad.. but i would be able to move on because i would have Harry.

I lifted my head off his chest again and looked into his eyes.

“and Eleanor loves you.. just as much as you love her. i can see it in your eyes, they shine for her. and i know you guys were in a bad place when you came to me, but if Harry and I can fix things so can the two of you. you belong together.” I said with a smile that he returned.

“i know. and i know we will work it out.. i love her..” he said pulling away and heading for the door. I thought he was going to hug me goodbye again but instead he brought his lips to my ear.

“even though i cant see my eyes when im talking to you but i know the feeling i get when im around you. My eyes shine for you too Kylie.. it wasn't just a rebound for me.. you are someone i wish i had met in a different time or place, because i think we could have had a shot if our hearts could fully belong to each other.. i know this for a fact i wouldn't feel like this having to say goodbye.” He kissed below my ear and lifted his head slowly and gave a small smile.

before he could walk any further away for me i took the opportunity to say one last thing

“me too. everything you said i agree with. i..” he shook his head and smiled almost asking me to stop.

and with that he walked away back to his car and drove away..

*END OF FLASHBACK*

I could feel my eyes well with tears remembering that night. i cried myself to sleep that night. i cheated on Harry that night. I lied to Harry that night. I lost a friend that night.

i took a deep breath and blinked a few times realizing that Harry was talking and i must have been blocking him out pretending to listen while he drove, not too long after he pulled down our street and in front of the house.

“so does that sound good then?” harry asked.

“yeah babe that sounds good.” i said giving him a smile making it seem like i had a clue what he was talking about.

“great ill tell Louis we can go.” he said pulling out his phone to call him.

damn it Kylie. you just had to block him out. now i have no idea whats going on.. i considered asking Niall about it, but i thought against and just listened.

“El! Kylie said shed want to go” harry said happily into the phone

“Okay perfect! i was worried she wouldn't want to since it was such short notice, but it'll work out perfect!” she said back through the phone.

“i told you she was go with the flow.. so what time should we be ready tomorrow?”

wait.. tomorrow.. what tomorrow?

i looked up at Harry but tried to hide my confused expression as his smile grew.

“i figure everyone can head up earlier and kylie can just ride with lou since they have stuff to do tomorrow. its not that far of a drive, only a few hours.”

Harry looked at me and nodded before telling El that sounded good and to make sure Louis gets prepared for my bad music taste for the car ride.

I normally would respond to him.. but my whole body was numb.

Louis and I. together in a car. by ourselves.

We walked into the house and started to get ready for bed. Harry excited as ever for our weekend and me putting the fakes smile my face would allow. Once we were in bed we turned off the light since we had to up early tomorrow.. tomorrow.. yay.

Harry wrapped a arm and pulled my back into his chest making me relax a little bit but not much. i could feel the guilt eating me alive every second i was around this perfect boy.

yes my life has changed in some negative ways since Harry, but he gave me his all, and he loves me. He was born into a bad family and dealt with it the best way he could.

I turned over to look at the love of my life.. the boy who would die for me and wonder how i deserve him.. its simple i dont. Harry made the mistake with Monica, but he would never ever hook up with one of my friends..

never my best friend.

Harry would never touch Alexis. He would never touch her the way he did me, wouldn't even try. and here i am, being a horrible person. Lying to myself and trying to hide my silent sobs as i dread the car ride with lou tomorrow.

Louis his best friend. and Eleanor another one of my friends. and His friends. And Louis girlfriend. He has a girlfriend.. Louis and I are cheaters.

Why am i such a terrible person?

“baby” a sleepy Harry mumbles and i try to clear my throat. i don't want him to know I'm upset.

“you okay?” he said moving closer to me. I brought his hand to my lips.

“im fine Harry. I love you.” i whispered.

Notes

hello everyoneeee :))
i am so so so sorry its taken me so long to update.. yeah two months. way too long.
but I'm back i was so busy with school that i had no time to write!
but i will start updating again now :)

plus i was having major writers block.. i just hit a wall. but now its fixed. :)

so what do you think?
any sugestions?

don't forget to comment, rate, all that good stuff. <3

thanks again everyone. love you!