I could feel myself awakening when I suddenly heard every little noise, smell every distinct scent, and feel every different surface. All I knew at that moment was how comfortable I was. My bed felt different. Warmer, more inviting than before. I didn't want to open my eyes, so I let myself lay there.

Until I felt the bed breathing.

My eyes popped open, and I sat up straight. My brain was going into emergency mode, and I knew something was wrong. I scanned my surroundings, and sure enough, saw a mess of blonde hair on the pillow I was resting on seconds before. It was Niall, he was in my bed. With me.

My mind raced, quickly putting together the events of last night and horrifying me with the fact that this definitely wasn't that perfect dream anymore. I panicked. Should I wake up Niall? Should I leave? Was this normal? What if I was pregnant? The last question was the biggest of them all, and before I could stop myself, I had my head in my hands while I was losing it. How did I let it get this far?

"Babe, what's wrong? No don't cry." I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned around, wiping my eyes to see Niall sitting up, looking concerned.

"I... we took it too far... I can't believe this." I sobbed, letting my head fall back down, ashamed of my stupid choices.

"No no no honey it's alright." he pulled me into an embrace, but it didn't help much. I felt so mortified. I wanted to take it all back and just let Niall go home from last night so none of this would have happened. I was sick to my stomach, and I knew nothing could reassure me everything would be ok.

Minutes later, when I had recomposed myself, I realized I was still without clothing. Exposure caused my face to redden, and Niall left the room as I slipped into something, anything that would cover me up. I walked out to see him already gone, and I sighed to myself in disbelief. I was so disappointed in me. Something on the counter distracted me for a second, so I went to inspect it.

Em-
So sorry about last night. Figured you wanted some time to think. If you need me at all, I'm right across the hall. I love you.

-Niall

I crumpled up the note, tossing it in the bin out of pure frustration. Not at Niall, at myself for being so open and willing. What was I going to do? I couldn't tell anyone, could I? Should I talk to Niall? No, he wouldn't have anything to say. At least not now.

I realized eventually that right now, there was nothing I really could do. So I decided to go back to bed, and sleep it all away.

~~

A week and a half later, I had perfectly adapted back to my old routine. Silent to the world. I was doing just great until a certain boy came up to me during my free hour.

"I've been wanting to ask you what's up, but you seem really quiet these days. Did I do something?" his big blue eyes were filled with worry.

"No, just been distracted." I looked down to the book I was reading, afraid of blowing my cover.

"Now, I know we haven't been long-time pals, but I know you well enough to determine whether or not something is wrong, and it is. What happened?" he relaxed a little, taking a seat beside me on the bleachers. I wanted so bad to vent to somebody, let them know how I feel and just have them listen. But I knew that was selfish.

"Really, I've just been busy. Tired, as well." I added, not looking up.

"Not buying it. Even Zayn noticed you seemed down. And you know how off he is. You can tell me, Em."

"I know... but I can't." I sighed, looking up from my book.

"Why not? I won't laugh at you."

"I know. It's just not something I want to admit." I explained, and he nodded. We sat in a moment of silence before he spoke up again.

"What if I guessed? Just say yes or no, you won't have to tell me anything." he suggested. I knew he wouldn't back down on this, so I just nodded and let him rattle off.

"You... are addicted to junk food!"

I giggled, but shook my head no.

"You robbed a bank!"

I laughed a little harder, but continued to shake my head.

"You slept with a guy?" he asked more sincerely. I felt my body freeze, and my eyes widened as I turned to look at him.

"How did you know?" I whispered, in shock.

"I was going to surprise you a little over a week ago. I saw some guy button his trousers as he was walking out of your flat, didn't have a shirt on. I figured it wasn't the best time and left." he said, lowering his voice a little.

"Oh my gosh. I can't believe you saw that." My voice started to crack, and my heart sank in embarrassment and sorrow.

"What happened, Em?" he slung an arm around my shoulders for comfort.

"I went on a date with this guy. He lives across my hall and he's great. I got really caught up in it and didn't realize what I was doing until I woke up, and I'm scared." I tried my best not to cry again, but when Louis pulled me in to a hug, I lost it again.

"Shh... it's alright. Don't worry. Everything will be ok. Calm down, I won't tell anyone..." he continued whispering assurances to me until I pulled myself together, which thankfully didn't take long.

"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid." I sniffed, wiping my cheek one last time.

"Don't be. That's what I'm here for." he smiled a little, patting my back before pulling away completely. There was another bit of silence before some questions were asked.

"Can I ask you some stuff? I know it's personal, so you don't have to answer, but-"

"I don't care."

"Ok. Well... uh, who knows?"

"You. That's it. I haven't had the courage to tell anyone else."

"The guy... what's he saying?"

"I don't know. I've distanced myself from him since then, but he offered to talk whenever I'm ready. I think he feels bad because he left after I cried on him." I admitted, not really caring anymore about how idiotic I sounded.

"Oh.. well... what do you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... what are the results?" he asked, trying not to make it awkward. I understood what he meant, but also felt embarrassed dby my answer.

"I haven't bought one."

"Why not?"

"I know the people that work there. Some are friends, some go to the school. What would they think if they saw me walk out with a pregnancy test?"

"Oh." Again, silence in the room, because I sure had nothing else to say for myself.

"If you want, I'll pick them up and drop them off after school. I'll meet you at your place." he offered.

"You don't have to. I can do it myself."

"No, that's an unnecessary sacrifice. I'll do it. I'll be to your house 20 minutes after you are. Let me help." he begged.

"Ok. Thank you. It means a lot." I knew he wouldn't take no for an answer, and I was glad he was persistent.

"No problem. The least I can do, you're probably worried sick." just after, the bell rang and we said our goodbyes before going to some of the last classes of the day.

~~

I paced back and forth, my stomach flipping at the thought of what the results might be. I thought of the consequences and how I would break it to my grandparents that now, their money would be going to support a teenage mother. I felt my eyes stinging with pain, but I couldn't cry out any more tears. I was about to just scream at anything, just to let out my anxiety and frustration, when I heard a knock at the door.

I hurried to it, opening it to find Louis, as he promised, with a box in his hand. He handed them to me, and I had him come in. I told him to sit down and he told me to calm down.

"It's ok Em. Relax. Whatever happens, happens. Don't worry about it now."

"But what if something does happen?"

"Just go. I promise I'll stay."

"Promise?"

"Always."

At first, it sounded like a simple statement. He wouldn't leave the apartment. But as I walked back into the bathroom, I wondered about the depth of the phrase.


I promise I'll stay.