Rating: 2

My advice is the same, paragraphs and blah blah blah. But for this particular story, I think you should explain more in depth why Louis and Harry are looking for money. Are they poor? Is it to help an ill stricken family member? Or are they simply greedy mother fuckers looking for another dime?

Stories that throw you an unexpected twist are my favorite. And with the plot you have going, you have A LOT of chances to throw the reader off. Have fun, be creative! Just make sure you don't go overboard and confuse people.

Don't make Harry and Louis soft, okay? They're thieves, and rugged. Maybe something in their past fucked them up to make them greedy bastards and cold hearted people, or maybe they don't particularly care for the royals because they don't have to worry about money. But the point is, don't make them weak. Perhaps the princess can be attracted to Harry for being so rugged and disturbed and not proper like all the men in the royal line! Feel free to use those ideas, I don't care.

I hope this helps, and I can't wait to see how this story moves forward. To be honest I'm a lot more excited about this story than your others... but they have wonderful story ideas.

Good luck!

~M