Fanfiction 101
Torn Away
(1) This was just plain horrible. There was no capitalization, minus a few names here and there. Just a tip, but there is this key on your keyboard labeled “shift”. You should learn how to use it better. The spelling was okay, but your grammar sucks.
The chapters were extremely short, and they were just one paragraph consisting of like 2 sentences. You need to make your chapters longer, and use multiple paragraphs. A new paragraph should be started every time another character starts speaking. Another tip; there is this key on your keyboard, usually right above that “shift” key I was talking about, labeled “enter” or “return”. You should learn how to use that as well.
I would also use a lot more description considering you don’t have any. Also, I can hardly think a prostitute could feel completely healthy as you put Lyla out to be (just saying).
Overall, your story sucked. I can kind of see the plot being a good one, but not the way you’re writing it.
If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.
@That_clifford_girl
Hi! I don't normally do this but I'm just gonna get right on it.
It's in my knowledge that this author isn't coming back. Which means your review isn't coming. But! I recently started up a review store so if you're interested you can link your story there.
All you have to do is click my name and follow the form. :-)
12/31/16