Fanfiction 101
The Outsiders
(7) You’re definitely great with grammar and details. The plot is okay, but there’s stuff about your ‘gang’ that I really don’t like.
~The leader is a girl: I mean, I know everyone is like, “Girls are just as strong and important and equal to guys,” but I’d highly doubt that a girl would run a co-ed ‘gang’.
~They don’t seem like a gang: They laughed when she did something stupid, they laughed when Niall was staring at her, they laughed. Gangs are serious, and I don’t think they’d be laughing at – no offense – stupid things.
~Pop music: I just don’t see a ‘gang’ listening to pop music, especially if they’re the leader. I figure they’d be more into metal or rock.
~Why are they burning cities for no reason?
I’m sure the last one has a good explanation, but your ‘gang’ just doesn’t seem like a gang. However, I do think your story is pretty good so far.
If you found this review to be disappointing, I'm can't say I'm sorry. As I said, I am a brutally honest person, or so people tell me. If you would like me to take this down, I will, just ask me. Don't bitch about it either; I don't care what you think, I'm just telling you what I think. Don't get mad, you asked for it. Don't rate this badly just because you don't like what I say. But on the off chance you like what I'm telling you, I'm glad you could learn something from me.
@That_clifford_girl
Hi! I don't normally do this but I'm just gonna get right on it.
It's in my knowledge that this author isn't coming back. Which means your review isn't coming. But! I recently started up a review store so if you're interested you can link your story there.
All you have to do is click my name and follow the form. :-)
12/31/16