*Harry’s POV*
After the other day’s surprise chat with Reagan the pain in my stomach began to grow. I tried to ignore it but it hurt so much I ended up doubling over from it at work yesterday making Louis’ dad send me home early. I woke this morning to the sun’s rays fighting to get through the fog and I felt as if nature was trying to give me some type of metaphor that I wasn’t prepared to take on.

When I stood from bed the pain was still there just as sharp as it was yesterday. I checked my clock and when I saw that it was half past nine, I called Tamsin in hopes that she wasn’t at work yet.

“Good morning Barry.” I hate it when she calls me that. I’ve hated it ever since we were younger.

“Don’t call me that! Are you um, available at the moment?” I kept my voice low in case my mum was still here and feel like I’m a child sneaking around as I open my door and look up and down the hallway to see if I’m alone. I need to move out. Maybe that’s something I can discuss with Dr. Baker, she can help convince my mother that it’s a good idea instead of asking me the other intrusive shit.

“Come off it Harry! Why are you talking like I’m a prostitute and you're trying to buy my services? I’ve known you for years now. Now rephrase that question.” Why do we have to go through this song and dance? She knows why I’m calling, it’s the only reason I call her. I rolled my eyes before I spoke getting annoyed.

“Are you working? I need a shag.”

“There we go. You know, you really do know how to talk to a lady.”

“If I were talking to a lady I would never have asked in the first place.”

“Knock her straight off her feet.”

“Okay Tamsin I get it. I’m a rude tosser now are you home?”

“I’m not home but my lunch break is in thirty minutes. I have an hour. You can meet me at my house-”

“Mine is closer to your job, and no one is here, just meet me at mine.”

Tamsin agreed and after I got off the phone, I got into the shower hoping the warm water would calm the ache I felt in the pit of my stomach but it did nothing. Once I got out, I wrapped a towel around my waist and laid down on my bed reading old texts from Reagan while I’m waiting on Tamsin. I shook the thought from my head that was about to remind me how pathetic I am when I hear my doorbell ring.

When Tamsin walked in I closed the door behind her and turned on my heel going straight towards my room not speaking. This is normally how it happens. Not a word is spoken before or after for the most part, just sex. We get into my room and Tamsin takes off her shoes and then unzips her skirt on the side, allowing the material to fall to the ground. She pushes me back on the bed taking my towel off as I lay backwards. She falls to her knees in front of me and I can feel her lips wrap around me as she begins to suck.

My body reacts to her, and I find myself wishing it hadn’t. I close my eyes and try to focus on what she’s doing, but it doesn’t feel good. The conversation that I had with Reagan only hours ago keeps replaying in my head.

“I can fix it... Please Harry please, just let me try.”

When I open my eyes Tamsin is on top of me hovering as she rolls a condom down my shaft. I rub my hands over my face then up through my hair and shut my eyes again. This time I see beautiful hazel ones hidden behind glasses. I don’t know what type of game my brain is playing but I wish it would stop. I’m not doing anything wrong. She left me, not the other way around. I was going to go halfway across the world to be with her. I need this.

Tamsin begins to ride on top of me and even though my body is responsive to what she’s doing, I can’t wrap my head around what’s going on in my mind. Tamsin starts to moan and I lay my left arm limply on the bed while I cover my eyes in the crook of my elbow with my right, shielding them from allowing my brain to see what I was doing, as if they weren’t a part of me.

“I love you and I miss you so much.”

Reagan’s voice rang in my head again and I could see her when my eyes were closed. The pain in the pit of my stomach got worse as Tamsin continued when it usually went numb and I know exactly why.

I miss her too.

“Tamsin s-stop. Get off.”

“Mmm!.. What?”

“Get off me! Stop!” Tamsin stopped her movements with a confused look on her face but she was still on top of me. I pushed her off my lap and grabbed my towel standing from the bed, wrapping it around my waist. I paced back and forth in the room pinching my bottom lip before sitting down on the love seat in the corner, resting my elbows on my knees, and placing my head in my hands.

“You should go.” Tamsin made no moves to leave and instead looked at me with a confused expression still gracing her features.

“Harry are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just leave!”

“I won’t leave you here alone this way so you can end up in hospital again for an overdose!” Tamsin stood from the bed and put her clothes back on before she approached me. I raised my hands in defense not wanting her to come any closer and she stopped in her tracks before she reached me.

“Tamsin don’t!” I could feel myself getting angry when she started to walk towards me again. Why won’t she listen?

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“Tamsin!”

“Promise and I’ll leave.”

“I promise. Now get the fuck out!”

Tamsin put on her shoes and when she left the pain in my stomach lessened to a dull ache. I take two ariparazole to try and stable myself before I lie back down in deep thought. What has Reagan done to me? I wonder if she knows how much more fucked up I am because of her.

---

*Reagan’s POV*
I was surprised when Channel offered to help me pack some last minute things for London and drive me to the airport. I hadn’t really spoken to her much since our argument in the hospital and since she was busy with school she hadn’t really tried to talk to me either. We avoided any conversation that had to do with Harry even though that was hard for me. It honestly hurt that one important part of my life didn’t want to know or talk about any aspect of another important part, but if this was the way it had to be so that we could keep our friendship I would try.

We talked about how school was going for her and what I was missing out on since I wasn’t at UCLA anymore before we got into the ins and outs of my job with Dr. Koch on our way to the airport.

“You look drained Rea, like he’s taken all you’ve got left to give.”

“I’m tired, but I won’t give up on it, I can’t. I can’t wait to get back to London. I need to make things right with-” I caught myself before I continued and Channel raised an eyebrow before she spoke.

“You can finish. You need to make things right with Harry.” Channel smiled a tight lip smile that showed me that she was trying even though I could feel the atmosphere change between us.

“Yeah...”

“We can talk about him you know.”

“We don’t have to its okay. If it spares me and you an argument I’ll keep him to myself. Your opinion on him isn’t going to change mine.” My tone was a bit snappier than I intended it to be and I knew that Channel would react to my passive aggression.

“We wouldn’t always argue about it if you weren’t always on defense about every little thing that’s said about him.”

It’s starting. I can already feel myself go into attack mode.

“I won’t let you or anyone else bad mouth him when you don’t know shit about him!” Channel scoffed and rolled her eyes as she turned into the departure drop off area of the airport

“I know that he’s hurt you and you’ve changed who you are because of him Rea and not necessarily for the better! I was in London with you for two weeks and I might have seen you and hung out with you three whole times, when I wasn’t drying your tears that is! You have anxiety attacks because of him Rea! That hadn’t started until him. So I apologize if everything I say about the two of you is not happy go lucky, but he’s making you sick and you don’t even realize it!”

My eyes started to water before she pulled the car over to park, but I refuse to give her the satisfaction of knowing what she said tore me inside. I got out of the car and got my things out of the trunk before I addressed Channel again.

“If I’m so sick Channel, you don’t have to deal with me anymore. I’m sorry if I’ve imposed myself on you in any way possible, but it was my mistake in thinking that I could come to my friend and share anything about my life with her. Good bye Channel.”

The look on her face was as pained as I felt and as soon as I said the words I wish that I could take them back. I slammed the car door and headed inside the airport to the terminal where I found Dr. Koch.

He was standing with his back towards me talking to another man that I had never seen before. They seemed deep in conversation so instead of letting Dr. Koch know that I was present, I took a seat and allow my mind to wander and settle too long on my exchange with Channel. Part of me thought the same thing that she did. I was fine before I met Harry, I never fall apart, and I was more carefree rather than a ball of nerves, but surely I’m worse off without him. Is it all worth losing your best friend over? My focused subconscious side reared her ugly head again where she wasn’t wanted and I couldn’t answer the question she posed. A single tear rolled down my face and I harshly wiped it away before Dr. Koch came and sat next to me.

"That was one of my peers Dr. Felix Adams, he’s also doing research and going back to London to do studies with one of the other interns that came from Maudsley, like yourself.”

I looked at Dr. Koch and nodded, not paying too much attention to what was being said. There was too much on my mind to give him my full attention at the moment.

When we boarded the plane, I adjusted my seat to allow myself get comfortable enough to sleep and drown out the events of the day. Before I could get my earphones in, I was stopped by the call of my name. It was another English accent, one that I was eerily familiar with.

“Reagan? Is that you?”

My eyes met with crystal blue ones and my palms began to sweat. Too much is happening in one day for me to keep up with and I feel as if I’m losing my breath.

“Peyton?”

Notes

HIIIIII GUYS HELLO NEW SUBSCRIBERS AND FAITHFUL ONES <3 I have an update for you all because I love you all so much! Are you all enjoying the story so far? I would love and really need to get more feedback from you guys so don't be shy tell me what you think. i love interacting with you guys and reading your comments. It's inspiration for me to continue! Things are about to get more juicy! Peyton is back we've all missed him I'm sure (I have). What did you guys think of this chapter? Be sure to let me know in the comments below and vote, rate and subscribe if you're reading my little story and are liking it so far. LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING Xx!