*Harry’ POV*
When Reagan went upstairs, there was no point in me trying to sleep. My heart was still racing from the feel of her, so beautiful and vulnerable. I tried to shake the feeling afterwards, but I couldn’t. Every time I blinked I could see us connected with nothing in-between, a perfect fit in front of me. It almost felt like I could reach out and touch the memory that was formed only an hour ago. It was torturing me. I want to touch her again and feel her wrapped around me so tight and warm, but I don’t want her to think what she did and what she keeps doing to me is okay. I could feel her staring at me after it was over, her hazel eyes pleading for the tiniest crack in my resolve and if I would have looked at her, my boundaries would have shattered at my feet. I don’t have the strength to keep her at an arm’s length, so close yet so far away from me. She’s only upstairs, in my room at that, but she feels so fucking far. Every time she deceives me she pushes me away but right now I want nothing more than to hold her close to me and have her in my arms. For that reason alone I know it was a mistake. We shouldn’t have done that. Sex with her, no, making love to her always seems to cloud my judgment and now is no different.

I turned off the television, becoming quickly annoyed with the early morning adverts and mostly with myself as my thoughts took hold making my resistance towards her weaker and weaker. I pinched my lip and then ran a hand through my hair as my internal battle riled within me. The lines between what I should and shouldn’t do about the situation became more muddled, and just as I was about to head upstairs and take my meds to try and lessen my frustration with the whole issue, sunlight began to peak through the basement window.

I quietly maneuvered through the kitchen popping a mood stabilizer while putting a kettle on for tea before I grabbed my jumper off of the back of the dining room chair and went outside in the back garden. The air was chilled, probably much too cold for me to only be clothed in joggers and a zip up but I needed to clear my head. I sat down on the patio bench and watched as the sun’s rays continued to elevate in the sky when I heard the sliding door open. I looked to see who was behind me and allowed myself to smile a bit when my mum handed me my mug. I must have been out here longer than I thought I’ve been.

“You’re up early.” My mum spoke as she came and took a seat next to me and I nodded my head before taking a sip of my freshly brewed drink. Part of me wants to tell her I’ve been up all night, but I figure that’s not the best thing to do, she worries too much.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m okay.” My response didn’t even convince me and I mentally slap myself when I realize who I’m talking to. She’s going to pester me for answers now. I know that my mum only tries to help but sometimes she’s too overbearing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I do but not with you. It sounds bad, but it’s the truth. I glance over at her and grin before shaking my head no.

“Did you and Reagan fight?” I widen my eyes before I feel my eyebrows furrow and when my mum see’s my expression she raises her hands in defense and says sorry before rubbing my back and speaking again.

“You guys will be alright. I haven’t seen a relationship quite like yours you know. You are both so drawn to each other and emotionally connected at such a young age. It’s definitely something to watch.” The more she talks the more intrigued I become.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that the pair of you have been through a lot in the early stages of your relationship. You’re still learning each other and the fact that the two of you have found ways to make it work when most would have broken up by now show how strong the two of you are together. You two are a match. Even when I wasn’t so fond of Reagan after she left, I knew that the two of you were right for each other. You shouldn’t let anything come between that. What ever happened, you’ll be able to make it through again if you want to.”

She smiles at me and then pulls her huge robe around her tightly with one hand and sips on her tea with the other and I can feel my nose scrunch. It’s scary sometimes how perceptive she is when I’ve really told her nothing, even when I was at Maudsley and wouldn’t speak to her due to my own frustrations she would always know the right thing to say, just the right thing that I needed to hear to sooth my nerves for the moment. I’ve never really thanked her for her mini wisdoms, one of these days I will though.

“It’s cold out here Harry and you don’t have on shoes. You’ll catch pneumonia. You should come inside love...and you need a haircut I think.” I can feel my eyebrows knot again before I grin and stand up to go back in the house. She’s back to getting on my nerves. I kiss her cheek and then go back to the kitchen and pour a third mug of tea after finishing my own and grab a box of cereal from the cabinet. It’s only six thirty and I don’t want to disturb what little rest that she got but I need to see her.

I walk carefully up the stairs with the mug in hand stealing small sips of the tea before I get to my room. When I turn the door knob and look towards my bed I can barely see her there, but I’m comforted by the slight rise and fall of my bed sheets as she breathes, sighing lightly in her sleep. She’s wound herself tightly under the covers, on the side that I usually sleep on when she’s here again. Her back is to me and her hair is fanned out on my pillow revealing the smallest amount of skin on her neck and I can feel myself being drawn to it.

I put the mug and the cereal box down on my bedside table and get into the bed, lying next to her the way I should have and the way I wanted to last night when she asked me. I wrapped my arms around the cover mound and found where her waist would be if it were visible to me. My hands began to roam the way they always do when I touch her barely able to get enough of the feel of her against my finger tips and I can feel her leaning back into my arms. She’s so close to me and this is what feels right. I move some of her hair off of her shoulder and push it up on the pillow so that I can see fully now the skin that called for me to kiss and touch her. Who am I to deny her body’s silent requests? I planted a small kiss there and continued around to her shoulder as I moved my comforter down just enough to reveal the skin there as well.

I stopped when I felt her stir not wanting to wake her before her stupid alarm went off, but it seems it’s too late for that. She turned around in the bed to face me and her red framed hazel eyes met mine as they began to fill with tears. She cries too much, but even when she does she’s still beautiful. I reach a hand up to her face and wipe away a tear the way I did a few hours ago and then trace my fingers over her eyes nose and lips before I give them a small kiss. She seems confused by my actions, it’s written all over her face as she looks at me, but I’m just as confused as she is. I mean what I said about her and Peyton last night, but I have a feeling that this time I got through to her, or at least I hope I did.

---

*Reagan’s POV*
It feels as if I’ve just fallen asleep. It couldn’t have been an hour ago but I know I have to be up soon. My eyes open slowly and are met by the sunlight peeking through the curtains to caress my face causing me to burrow down further into the covers. I don’t want to go to work and I grab my phone in hopes that there is a message from Dr. Koch saying that he’s still under the weather and won’t make it in today, but I have no such luck.

As I prepare to force myself out of bed with a heavy conscience, I hear footsteps and as they get closer and closer to the door I’m frozen, unable to move. When the door opens I know it’s H., but I’m too ashamed to look at him so I lie still hoping that he thinks I’m still asleep, it’s childish and I know it, but I’m not ready to see that look of pure and utter disappointment, hurt, and frustration that appeared in my dreams as I slept. I can feel the bed shift next to me and jump slightly when I feel his arm wrap around my waist and as they being to trace my frame over the covers, I automatically feel safe and comforted when I should be the one comforting him right now.

Fingertips ghost against my shoulders and I know that goose bumps rise. His touch is a combination of fire and ice and it causes me to shiver against him. What is he doing to me? When I feel his full lips press against my shoulder it all becomes too much. I’m not really an emotional person or at least I wasn’t before London, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I around in the bed to see his face looking back at me and when he reaches up to brush away a stray tear his facial expression mirrors mine.

“I thought last night was going to be it. I thought that you were done with me and-”

“Sometimes you talk too much.” My face scrunched more as his eyes twinkled and I am once again at a loss and at the mercy of Harry’s mood shifts.

“What does this mean?”

“Nothing changes. I still mean what I said last night,” Harry looked at his watch and then continued, “this morning rather. I’m still mad at you for the excess baggage you put on me, but I love you and I know you’re sorry...are you sorry?”

“Yes.” Sorry and pathetic and naïve.

“Then say so.” Harry furrowed his eyebrows again and I can tell that he’s serious, but he says it in a playful tone.

“I’m so sorry. I will never be that stupid again...I love you so much Harry.”

A grin flashes on Harry’s face before it goes back serious again, but his eyes still show a playful hint in them. He pecks my lips with his and then goes to deepen the kiss when my alarm shrieks causing him to pull away from me with an eye roll. He gets off of the bed and swipes my screen to stop the noise and then studies it with an unreadable look on his face, causing my nerves to flare up again. Harry and I have nothing but a bad history when it comes to phones and text messages, and Peyton could have sent me something in regards to last night.

“You missed a face time chat from your mum.” He tosses my phone to me and begins to walk out of the room then turns to face me again before he speaks. He looks so tired and this time I know it’s because of me and not an insidious dream.

“I made you tea and you can eat that cereal if you’d like,” Harry takes a sip from the mug and then puts it back down on his dresser, “it was hot when I brought it up...I hope you like iced tea? Get up so I can take you to work, and when you get in there today tell doctor dickhead you need to change out hotels.” He furrowed his eyebrows and then closed the door rather forcefully behind him before I get the chance to say anything else. Mood swing number one that I’ve seen out of many more that are to come from him towards me I’m sure.

I don’t want to bring matters from outside into work and I know that if I walk in making demands it will bring more attention to the situation than needs be, but if I don’t then another problem is bound to happen between Harry and I. I rub my hands over my face and then get out of bed pulling my jeans back up my legs and quickly putting on my sweater before grabbing the mug with the room temperature tea in it as I head down the stairs. Anne is in the kitchen and I’m momentarily distracted by the smell of muffins before I speak to her, startling her slightly.

“Reagan, I didn’t know you were here. How are you? You look-” I can only imagine my appearance. I haven’t showered, I haven’t brushed my hair, my head is hurting, I’ve only had one hour of sleep and I have to be prepared to work anything from an eight to fourteen hour day, and I cried myself to sleep when I did finally lay down to try to get rest so I’m sure my eyes are red rimmed, puffy, and have dark circles around them.

“Like shit.” The words slipped out of my mouth and I quickly put my hand over my mouth when I realized it.

“Sorry.”

“Its fine dear. I’ve heard much worse coming from Harry and his friend’s mouths. Shit is almost like saying ‘yes’ in this house by now. As long as you're not dropping F-bombs around, I'm sure I can handle shit.” I blush when I think about me and Harry earlier this morning. There were more than F-bombs being said after I went downstairs. Anne chuckles and then looks at the mug in my hands.

“Don’t like Yorkshire tea?”

“Oh, no. I mean yeah I do I just wanted to warm it up again.” Anne nods her head and then takes the mug from me and then sticks it in the microwave and gestures for me to sit down. I can hear the shower running upstairs and hope that Harry will be done soon so that I can at least go back to the hotel and change. I don’t look professional and the last thing I want to do is hear a raid from Dr. Koch about how unprofessional I am again.

The microwave beeps and Anne hands me the mug again, warning me that it’s hot before I blow over the cup and take a sip. I try to make small talk to fill the comfortable yet unnerving silence in the room as Anne takes the muffins out of the oven and then begins to plate them.

“What color is your wedding scheme? I asked Harry so I could get an idea of what to wear, but he wasn’t much help.” I could see Anne’s face fall a bit but she quickly smiled before she continued.

“It’s classic. Just a black and white affair really,” Anne’s smile deepened before she continued,
“I made Harry try on his tux to be sure it fit him nice enough a few days ago. He wasn’t happy about it but he did it anyway, he looked so handsome. You’re a pretty one and I’m sure the two of you will look dashing together when you come. You’re both rather easy on the eyes I think.” I smiled and told her thank you when she handed a muffin and turned around to an annoyed looking Harry fully dressed and ready to go.

---

The drive to my hotel was silent, but Harry laced his fingers with mine. When we pulled up to the savoy, he insisted on parking the car and coming up to my room instead of allowing me to change and come back down and I know it’s because he’s being protective. He doesn’t want me to run into Peyton alone any more than I want to be alone around him, it causes nothing but problems for me.

Harry walks into my suite and heads for my room. He sits on the bed as I rush around trying to change as quickly as possible and I can feel his eyes on me. I finally decide on something that’s not too wrinkled allowing myself some time to breathe as I take out my contacts and put on my glasses before Harry finally speaks his mind.

“We can’t ever do that again you know.”

“What?” I look at him confused as I push my specs up my nose causing him to chuckle lightly.

“The pull out thing, that’s too dangerous. You can’t ever make me do that again.” He spoke sternly and I nod my head in agreement. It was a weak moment for both of us and I played on his emotions to get him to do it, something else I have to apologize for. Just as I’m about to say so, H. cuts me off.

“I couldn’t sleep because I was pissed at you and because I kept thinking about how good you feel...I’ve never gone without one before with anyone and even if I had it wouldn’t have felt like you do I reckon...” Harry trailed off as the mood changed again and even though I don’t see it in the cards for us to ever be unprotected again I know exactly what he means. After that experience, I’ll have to look up doctors so that I can get on the pill. That feeling was like nothing I’ve ever felt before and I know I won’t want him to wear a condom again because of it.

I finish primping myself and am shocked that Harry won’t have to speed to try to get me to work on time. We make our way back downstairs through the lobby hand in hand and I feel anger rise in me when my eyes are met with none other but Laurie.

Notes

Hi loves! Thank you so much for the votes and I hope they continue as We go along. Sorry it took me soo long to update, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. It ends in somewhat of a cliff hanger and its quite long. Be sure to tell me your thoughts on it by loading me up with comments! :D ( I haven't seen a story that has as many as mine yet!) What do you think is gonna happen with Laurie and Reagan? Are you happy that #HarRea are on somewhat better ground again or do you feel that the problem isn't fully fixed yet? Tell me that and more in the feedback! I LOVE YOU ALL ENDLESSLY FOR READING and PLEASE if you are reading and enjoying be sure to join us here and SUBSCRIBE and VOTE, its so inspirational and it will only take a second I promise ~Xx