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It Takes Patience II: Guarded

Chapter 32: Sweetly Scarred

*Reagan’s POV*
As the day came to a close and I was finally able to take a breath from all of the reading, underlining, highlighting and note taking, I found myself alone with Dr. Koch once again. He was sitting at his desk with leaning his head on his hand and squinting his eyes to read by dimly lit floor lamp that barely illuminated more than the butt of a lightning bug. As he read instead of a scowl on his face there was a look of concentration and if I’m not mistaken, mirth? He’s rereading the grizzly details of the murder committed by his case study and this makes him happy? I turned on the ceiling light so that he could read without straining his eyes, seeing as the natural light from outside has disappeared and he turned around to look at me as if the new lighting distracted him from the zone that he was in. This is the first time that he has seemed human since I’ve met him.

“Reagan, you were so quiet for once I didn’t even notice that you were still here. What time is it?”

“Almost Nine.”

“Hm, you can go for the rest of the night I don’t need you.”

He continued to read and smile slightly to himself as he read over the notes he had taken from talking to the girl before he spoke aloud to himself again.

“This girl has a whole list of problems...the fact that she wasn’t in a lock down psych ward is the real mystery here I think. She’s a complete nutter.” I cleared my throat to gain Dr. Koch’s attention again before I spoke. I have to put in my request for time off for Anne’s wedding, and since he seems oddly happy, right now is the best time to ask.

“Reagan, I said you could go back to the hotel I have nothing else for you to do today.”

“Actually I was wondering if I could have the weekend of October eighteenth off.” I mentioned it timidly, and looked around the room waiting for a response. Dr. Koch looked at me like I had two heads on my shoulders in addition to the one I already have.

“You came into work almost an hour late yesterday, you barely pay attention to detail or study for the tests I give you, and you were texting today. Yes I noticed. Why should I give you time off? Let alone an entire weekend?”

It was my turn to look at him as if he had three heads. How did he know I was texting? He barely noticed that I was here today, yet he knew that I was on my phone. It’s as if he has eyes in the back of his skull.

“I was invited to a wedding. It’s important that I go.” Dr. Koch frowned his face and then scoffed.

“Is it not important for you to be at work? Apparently not.”

I almost rolled my eyes and gave a smart rebuttal but my focus side saved my ass and reminded me that he’s my boss. I bit the inside of my cheeks so that nothing out of line would come out of my mouth and then pleaded with him. I should have known that this wasn’t going to be easy.

“Please Dr. Koch? I’ll do double the work to catch up on what I miss, but this is really important. Please?” I cringed thinking about how much I would have to do and how I would have to probably get notes from Peyton, but Harry needs me at this wedding and I can tell. I’ll do whatever I need to so that I can be there for him during what I’m sure will be a rough day.

Dr. Koch’s eyes softened momentarily and I almost dropped my mouth open in shock. The look wasn’t there long before he went back to being his normal arrogant asshole self.

“You’d better know everything there is to know on this case inside and out that next Monday when you get back. Nod if you understand.”

I nodded my head silently not saying a word and trying to fight the smile on my face, when I realized that he was telling me yes...I think he finds smiling offensive.

“Now go back to the hotel before I change my mind. If you stand here too long that’s exactly what will happen....five seconds.”

“Thank you Dr. Koch.”

“Three seconds.”

I turned on my heel and left before he could get to one and called Harry so that he could come pick me up.

“Hello?”

“Hi H. will you still be able to pick me up or are you busy?”

“Nothing that I’m doing is that important where it couldn’t be dropped for you. I’m on my way.”

I my heart sped up in my chest, and I could have sworn that I was going starry eyed. Harry is being so tentative, gentle, and sweet today and I can’t help but to drink in every oversentimental word and touch that I can take in. His mood is barely this way. As a matter of fact I don’t think he’s ever been so lovey with me. A nagging suspicion tries to sneak into my mind, but I ban it gets any bigger. Harry is capable of being a sweet heart, and I see it every time I’m with him. It’s the subtle things he does. Sometimes you have to catch it and sometimes it’s blunt and out in the open. Today, it’s the latter and I find myself reveling in his good mood.

I stood outside the building where Harry usually drops me off to wait for him and as he pulled up, the smile that crossed my face came involuntarily. When Harry’s eyes landed on mine, his expression became my mirror as he returned the smile and added his two dimples into the equation. When I got in the car, Harry kissed me deeply and my arms instantly went around his neck, slightly shocked by the intensity of the kiss. It was chilly out in London today and I was a bit cold while I waited, but the warmth of Harry’s body temperature engulfed me during our embrace. Harry pulled away from me and the smile on his face grew, but the look that I saw in his eyes this morning was still there behind the beautiful emerald green color of his iris.

“Hi glasses.” H. grinned at me and allowed his cheeks to turn the slightest shade of pink as we pulled away from the university.

“Hi Harold. You’re being awfully sweet today.” Harry raised an eyebrow and glanced at me quickly before looking back at the rode. A grin graced his lips and I wanted nothing more than to kiss them again, but not exactly in an innocent manner.

“I’m happy. Am I not allowed to be happy to see you? I missed you today and I love you.” Butterflies have taken off again, but my focused side it trying to ruin it. What’s the look in his eyes? Instead of allowing my brain to take control and ruin the moment, I ignore the warning in my head and give in to the feeling of being in love with the man sitting next to me.

“I missed you too.” Harry yawns, then wriggles his eyebrows up and down before he takes the back of my hand and kisses it. If I wasn’t already sitting, I’m sure that I would fall. My knees are weak and I’ve come to love this sweetheart Harry just as quickly as I come to love cheeky, grumpy, flirty, playful, angry, agitated, silly, mellow, asshole, and dirty Harry. I giggle to myself as I feel like I’m making a list of a new set of dwarfs for Snow White, but that and more is all him. I love every layer of Harry.

Harry pulls up to the hotel and parks the car and I find myself pouting. I want to stay at his house, but he did say that he was bringing me back here.

“Harry?”

“Yes love?” Oh my God. My cheeks turn a shade of pink, can’t this go on forever? I smile slightly before I finish my question.

“Can we go back to your house? If your mom doesn’t mind that is.” Harry glances over at me before he pulls his eyes away from mine quickly and the annoying nag in my brain gets bigger.

“No.” My heart sinks a little.

“Why?”

“We can see how you feel about it after we talk...” Harry trails off as we walk through the lobby of the hotel to get into an elevator, and my focused side comes into play again. I forgot he said he wanted to talk to me.

My heart speeds up in my chest but this time from nerves instead of warm fuzzy love feelings. In all honesty I have something to tell him too but I don’t want this to change. As soon as I mention Peyton’s name, I know he’ll flip out and I don’t want that right now. Harry pulls me into a hug with my back to his front and nestles his nose into my neck causing goose bumps to rise. He stays there as if he’s savoring the moment before he lets me go at the open of the elevator doors.

He laced his fingers with mine as we walked down the hall and I paused momentarily before I opened the door, afraid of the outcome of what’s to be said when we get to the other side. Harry looks at me as if he feels everything that I’m thinking then turns his head away from me as I slide the key card into the door.

I put my bag down and headed for the kitchen area and opened the fridge staring in it blankly. I’m not hungry, but I feel the need to stall whatever conversation Harry feels the need to have...along with my own.

“Are you thirsty or hungry? I have chicken and vegetables and juice.”

Harry grinned and shook his head no before grabbing the back of his neck and sitting down on the couch.

“Come here Reagan.” I took a deep breath and closed the fridge wondering why I had absolutely no food left and trying to ignore the mood shift in the room. I sat next to Harry and looked at him. He looked nervous and it made me nervous.

“What did you want to talk about?” I egged him on, might as well get it over with.

Harry paused and then looked back at me before sighing and closing his eyes for a beat before he spoke again and took my hand in his.

“I love you remember that, before I go on...” I nodded my head but my chest started to feel heavy.

“I want to be honest with you so..Shit....Reagan I...I kind of-”

“Just say it.” Harry dropped his head then looked back at me with tears clearly in his eyes. As soon as he blinked however they were gone. He took a deep breath and let my hand go before he spoke again.


*Harry’s POV*
“I cheated on you last night.” Reagan stood abruptly from the couch and the look on her face damn near broke me. There was a long pause before she said anything but I know that she’s upset and trying her best not to break down in front of me.

“Get Out!”

“No Reagan!”

“GO!” She grabbed her chest as tears started to stream down her face. Her breathing is already rugged and if she doesn’t calm down she’ll have another anxiety attack.

“Reagan let me fini-”

“You fucked someone else and then came here this morning and fucked me afterwards? Who does that Harry?!” I stood from the couch and she took a step back away from me. I could feel my own rebuttal coming on and I didn’t mean it to slip from my mouth, but it did.

“YOU! You did it!” Reagan chuckled humorlessly and began to furiously wipe the tears from her face, she’s still breathing too ruggedly and she needs to calm down.

“So everything we’ve done trying to start over was done out of spite?! You planned this?”

“No! No I would never do that to you!” I wouldn’t...at least not consciously.

“Then why bring that up Harry? You said you wanted to forget it but you clearly haven’t! Why would you do this to me?!” Her tears shake her frame and I want to wrap her in my arms and calm her down.

“I love you!”

“You don’t!” My heart slowed down when she shouted those words back to me. Reagan is my world and I would go to the end of the earth and back for her.

“I do! I love you so much and last night meant nothing. It was a stupid mistake! I just got so worked up with what Peyton said and we had just argued about him hours earlier I wasn’t thinking.”

Reagan started to hyperventilate and I pulled her to me. She tried to push me away for a while, but gave in or became too tired to keep fighting. I picked her up and carried her over to the couch, sitting her on my lap rubbing her back trying to calm her so her attack wouldn’t reach a greater height than it already was.

“I knew you were being too sweet today. I knew you would ruin it!” She yelled against my chest and even though her words hurt I’m glad she didn’t try to pull away again.

“The way I acted today was me. I was genuinely happy to see you. I wasn’t playing a part to try to ease anything, I wouldn’t do that. I was going to tell you because you deserve honesty. I love you and I’m so sorry.” Reagan shook as more sobs raked her body.

“Who with Harry?”

“Reagan-”

“Tell me Harry! Please?!” She asked me and I found it remarkable seeing as I should be the one still begging for her forgiveness.

“One of my sisters friends.”

Reagan started to pull away from me but I held her tight in place, afraid thatif I let her go she would leave me again. She pushed me and got out of my grasp then started to pace the room back and forth. She was calm now, but that could be a bad thing.

“What did you do with her? Every detail NOW!” I cringed at the thought of what happened that night. I don’t even know why I did it. It never feels good anymore and it gives me more stress than it releases.

“She gave me head. I didn’t touch her and I felt like an ass right after.”

“AFTER?!” Reagan scoffed in disgust as my whole got deeper.

“During!” I corrected myself.

Reagan sat down across the room from me against the wall as more tears fell and rested her chin in her hand. The room was silent and it was killing me. She looked up at me with distraught swollen red eyes that hazel pierced through and my heart dropped to my stomach.

“How many more times are we going to do this Harry? Once was enough for me, but it keeps happening, and I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” I began to panic, running a hand through my hair and then resting my head in my hand on my knees. She’s going to leave me. I know it.

“I don’t know Harry.” Her voice was horse and I could feel the sting of tears form behind my eyes.

“Are you leaving me?” There was a pause, too long of a pause. I wiped my eyes and stood from the couch slowly approaching her. She looked up at me and I stopped in my tracks. She doesn’t want me close.

“No I’m not leaving, but I don’t know what to do Harry. I just...” She stopped and took a deep breath and I could feel my heart speed up again.

“What did Peyton say to you?”

“He made it seem like he fucked you again.”

“You don’t trust me.”

“I do.”

“You Don’t! Otherwise you would have believed me when I told you nothing was going on!”

I sat back down on the couch and pinched my bottom lip. I don’t know what else to say. Reagan looked at the clock and stood wiping her face again heading for her room. I followed her slowly, keeping my distance and when I looked in, she was in bed facing the wall. I’m not sure what to do . She’s not leaving me, but she doesn’t want me here either. It’s a shitty middle ground I’ve created for myself and I hate it.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No... but you probably should.” Her tone is flat but I can tell she’s just as confused as I am. I’ll give her the space she needs. Overcrowding never helps anything. As I turn to leave she calls for me and I go quickly back to her room.

“I have to work with Peyton tomorrow, and I got time off for your mom’s wedding....just thought you should know.”

Her voice is still raspy and I can tell she’s still crying even though she’s not facing me. I want to protest her working with Peyton. I want to go through the roof at the idea and I can feel my mood shift from pitiful to furious, but there’s shit I can say on the matter without pushing her further away from me. I nod as if she’s facing me and turn to leave again telling her that I love her again before I exit the hotel room.





Notes

Hi guys! New Update for you because I love you all! What do you think? Did Reagan react how you thought she would and is a weird sense of real progress being made between the two of them? What do you think is going to happen when Reagan meets up with Peyton? Leave me tons and tons of comments and feedback and please guys VOTE if you're enjoying it would like me to continue! Also show me some love and subscribe as well? (All of these factors are inspirational!) I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING!!!! Xx

P.S. The vote on the first ITP went up again :D *I love you guys!!!*

Comments

haha mine too they always try to put an extra "a" in it

@XOXOH
Thank you, everybody is confused when I spell my name and try to correct me. Lol

@mrsdirectioner
Aww thank you :) I like your name too it's spelled different than it usually is

@XOXOH
You have a unique name. My name is Katelynn.

@mrsdirectioner
Haha yes I'm able to drink. My name is Mya what's yours?