*Harry’s POV*
It’s only been fifteen minutes and I already feel like I’ve been here a full hour. As I watched the clock in front of me, I could have sworn I saw the second hand on it move anticlockwise. Time is fucking dragging and Dr. Baker loves it...sadist witch.

“I saw your mum’s engagement ring. It’s beautiful isn’t it? She’s probably the only woman I’ve seen who isn’t stressed out from planning a wedding.”

“Why are we talking about this? Why do I have to talk about this?” Dr. Baker found that it would be in her best interest to torture me today as if I haven’t tortured myself enough over the past month, over the last few hours even.

I can’t get last night out of my head. Reagan’s so beautiful, prettier than what my memory gave her credit for. She was so soft under my touch, the perfect contrast to how rough I was being with her. I couldn’t control myself and it scared me more than I thought it would. I know I was rougher with her than when I was with Tamsin. I need to see her again, but I don’t know if she’ll have me. I went too far last night.

“Because Harold, you told me last session you felt trapped and you’ve told me that before. Do you remember when?” She looked at me over her glasses the way she always does when she thinks she knows something. She doesn’t. She doesn’t know shit. I’m sure she’s only doing this to push my buttons.

“Yes. I fucking said it, therefore I remember when I said it.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair exasperatedly. The more I cooperate the faster I can get the hell out of here.

“Do you think it has anything to do with your mother getting remarried and the wedding being near?” I felt my eyebrows furrow as soon as she mentioned dooms day. I know Robin must have chosen October. Who the fuck gets married in October?

“No she won’t go through with it anyhow. I think it has to do with I’m nineteen years old and I’m still living at home with my mum and have a fucking curfew. Everyone else lives on their own. I’m not a fucking toddler! ”

“Language Harold. You don’t think she will do you? Why is that? And you’ve brought this on yourself. These boundaries are set for you to keep you healthy. What happened last month scared everyone and until you get back on track they will stay in place.”

“It’s ridiculous. It makes no sense! If I really wanted to off myself it would be done already, it would! A curfew can’t save me from me! The money I make sucks because I have to be in the house by twelve every fucking night! That doesn’t really add up when you work at a pub! And she won’t because if you’re making me stay there with them, she knows it’s not safe.”

“You’re right, a curfew can’t save you from yourself but it allows us to keep a better watch over you so that you don’t self-destruct. Why don’t you work during the day? At least then you would have better hours. Why would it not be safe for you all to stay in the same house Harold?”

I can feel myself mellow from anger to defeat. I’m talking in circles with her and I can’t win, she’s asking too many things of me at once.

“If you really think it’s that bad then why toy with me? Why don’t you just stick me back in Maudsley like you’re probably going to do anyway? That way you can watch me all you want to.” I avoided her last question and thankfully she didn’t notice. I don’t even want to get into what could happen if this marriage takes place. My mum can be just as happy dating Robin, they don’t need to get married.

“Is that what you want?”

“No but you’re not going to give me what I want! This whole thing is bullshit and you know it, so what’s the point? Why try and give me false hope?”

“What is it that you want Harry?”

I want shit to go back to how it was a few months ago, before my mum’s engagement, before she left me, before Peyton.

“I need to be alone. I want to move out. No more curfews and no more damn drug tests! They’re all negative all the time, they always come back negative! I’m not a bloody junky. I’ve only done X two times before that and I don’t plan on doing it again.” Dr. Baker scribbled some more bullshit into her notepad and I sat back on the couch arms folded and completely done. I’m over this whole session.

“Alright.” What?

“What?”

“We’ll start off with the drug tests. They have been negative and I know that you’re not a junky. I just needed you to know that you’re better than that Harold. No more drugs and absolutely no more suicide attempts.” Dr. Baker looked over her glasses at me again and pointed her pen at me to emphasize her point.

“I wasn’t-”

“Harold another issue we’re going to work on is denial. You took two antihistamines, two aripiprazole, two antidepressants, two sleeping pills, and on top of it all an ecstacy kicker. It was a suicide attempt and we both know it!” Dr. Baker looked at me with an unwavering glance and raised her voice. She’s never yelled at me before. I dropped my head slightly and nodded in agreement. I don’t want to get into that. The more I agree the more I get my way.

“The next thing we’ll do is this, follow the curfew your mother sets for you to the letter all the way up to the wedding, that you will be a part of.” I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she put her hand in the air to silence me. I can’t be a part of that wedding.

“I know and you know how much she wants you to be and if you can do these things accordingly I will consider allowing you to venture completely out on your own. I have faith in you Harold and I don’t know if I put it there in vain, but it is there. You’re a smart young man and I feel as if you should be allowed to things just as everyone else is around your age. I’ve put time and energy into you that I didn’t have to. Don’t let me down Harry.”

As the rest of the session went on I couldn’t help but feel torn between my emotions. There is one thing standing between me and absolute freedom and I don’t know if I can do it.

---

*Reagan’s POV*
I woke up this morning greeted by a splitting headache. As soon as Harry left last night I could barely breathe. I took one of the Ativan that Dr. Koch had allowed me to have to hold me over until he prescribed me a different brand, but that barely worked. Harry’s eyes were so cold when he spoke, but there were moments I would look at him when we were intimate that I could see everything that he really felt. He’s hiding his emotions from me when they needed to come out. It’s more than frustrating and I need to get him to talk to me but I don’t think I can even face him to try again. What he said hurt and I might not have any business being upset with him, but I am.

'He came here to use you and you let him. You deserve everything that you got for being so weak. There were warning signs everywhere but you refused to acknowledge them. Sex doesn’t solve problems, it creates them.' My bitchy conscience reared her ugly head to give out advice again, but I know that she’s right. I was too desperate to have him. I needed him to touch me. I couldn’t control myself. Harry was bound to walk all over me, but I don’t think that I used sex to try and solve our problems... At least I don’t think I did. The fact that I’m second guessing myself on that bit alone makes my headache worse and makes me even angrier with him for using a weakness against me and angrier at myself for falling for it.

To have the truth thrown back in my face so graphically hurts me more than my own stupidity. He’s right to be as angry at me as he is but, I had just hoped that when I saw him he would have missed me as much as I’ve missed him. I thought that when he saw me he would be open to talk, forgive me, and take me back. The scariest thing is that it may never happen.

I stretched in bed putting my arms above my head and grabbing my wrist when I winced in pain. When I looked at them, the skin there was the slightest shade of purple and blue from Harry’s grip. It wasn’t anything that a watch and some bracelets couldn’t cover up. I scoffed slightly at the irony of the situation. I’m always covering up for Harry even if we aren’t together.

When I rose to get out of bed, I could hear my phone vibrate in disheveled covers next to me. My heart beat so fast in my rib cage that I thought it would come through my chest. When I found the phone to answer it, my heart slowed to its normal rate.

“Hi Laurie.”

“Hi Rea, how are you? I know Harry came to yours last night. It’s my fault I told him because I was mad at Niall and-”

“Whoa whoa Laurie calm down.” L. was talking a thousand miles per minute and I could barely understand what she was saying. I looked at my clock on the wall listening to the growling of my stomach that went with the banging in my head before I spoke again.

“Listen I’m starving and I could really use some time with a friend. I don’t think I start work until tomorrow, do you want to meet me here and then we can go get something to eat?” I rubbed my stomach in anticipation of her answer.

“Sure what time?”

“Umm..now would be good, if you’re not too busy that is?”

“Now is fine. See you in a bit.”

I got in the shower and allowed the warm water to fall over me. As I stood there under the shower head, my mind began wander as it does when I’m alone and I wish that it hadn’t. I remember when I got upset with Harry at one point early on in our relationship when I wanted to have sex and he didn’t have a condom on him. When he came over last night, he already had one with him as if he knew that it would happen. 'Or he’s been screwing other people.' I shook away the thought and got dressed in my curve fitting skinny jeans and maroon sweater. I put my hair in a messy bun when I heard my phone ring.

“Hey Rea, I’m down stairs in the lobby. Let’s go eat first and then I’ll come up later.” I agreed with Laurie and put on my Doc Martens and tried my best to not be depressed by my own nagging thoughts as I headed down to the lobby to meet with Laurie.

We decided to go to Gillray’s Steakhouse and Bar and as soon as we sat down Laurie bombarded me with the questions she had been meaning to ask while we were on the phone.

“Are you okay?” I sipped on my coke and scrunched my nose at how strong it was before I answered her.

“What do you mean?”

“Harry came over yours last night didn’t he?” I bit my bottom lip and nodded my head slowly before I sipped my coke again. I’m not sure if I’m ready to have this conversation out loud yet, but when I speak I surprise myself.

“He did. He came over, he fucked me, and he left.” I sipped on my drink again and turned a shade of pink when I realized the waiter was there to bring us our food. Laurie’s jaw dropped at my confession and I quirked an eyebrow more at myself than at her. No tears, no emotion, no breakdown, it was the complete opposite of how I thought it would go.

“I’m so sorry. I feel like it was my fault Rea. I told him where you were to spite Niall and after he found out that Niall didn’t want him to know you were back they got into a fight and-”

“Niall didn’t want him to know I was back?” Laurie’s eyes widened before she closed them and cursed under her breath.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been talking way too much.” I shook my head and felt my spirits dampen even more. No one wants me back, no one but Laurie and Peyton.

“It’s okay. I get it...Harry and Niall fought?” That explains why his lip was bleeding when he came over.

“Yeah it’s all been a cluster fuck ever since you left, Harry's been around but he's always kind of edgy. I tried to ask Niall to see if he's alright but he doesn't really go into it with me.” I nodded again and couldn’t stop myself from asking the question. I have to know.

“Laurie, do you know if Harry has been with anybody else?” I played with the straw in my cup, feeling awkward even asking the question. Laurie took a sip of her drink and ate a fry and drank her drink again. With every second that she didn’t answer my question, my heart began to drop further and further.

“Laurie?”

“Don’t Rea don’t do this to yourself.” My heart shattered in that second.

“Tell me please?” Laurie looked at me and then dropped her head answering my question with out even speaking. I could feel tears prick at the back of my eyes as I sipped on my drink.

“Hey, try not to dwell on it Rea. I know it hurts but try to put it out of your mind.” Tears rolled freely down my face, I was doing so well.

“Hey, there’s a party tonight. You should come with me and get your mind off things. Just you and me no boys, Niall and I aren’t in the best of spots at the moment either.

I can barely think straight but I know I agreed to go to the party. I’m sure my heart was ripped out of my chest. He’s the only one I want to be with, but I know now that he doesn’t feel the same.

Notes

HI GUYYYS HELLO NEW SUBSCRIBERS! I've been in agony not being able to update, but the internet is finally up now and you can all expect another chapter tonight as promised! What do you all think about this chapter? Leave me loads of comments and a HUGE THANK YOU to you guys for the votes keep them coming! I love love love love Love when I see my votes comments and subscribe numbers go up, its soo inspiring. Be sure to give me some feed back about this I'm anxious to read and respond to you all and be sure to vote and subscribe if you're enjoying my little story so far and you haven't done so yet. LOVE YOU ALL LOADS FOR READING! Xx :D