The Girl with the Red Lipstick
All You Need Is Love
It's been 3 days since I've woken up and it has been difficult. Everyone's relieved and loving faces have pulled me through but it still won't get rid of my fear. What if one day I can't control my emotions and I do succeed? I've never tried to commit suicide before and now that I have what if I try again?
I remember the moment I opened my eyes and saw Harry's face. It was like I was waiting for that exact moment for my body to allow me to wake up. His face broke into a huge smile and he bent down and kissed me right on the mouth. It was passionate and everything I needed. Though let me just say when the nurse walked in it was pretty awkward, especially when she yelled at Harry for not calling someone when I woke.
That's when the other four strangers woke up in my room and starting smiling when they saw me awake. Harry introduces them to me as his band One Direction, turns out there all pretty cool. Louis, Liam and Zayn have girlfriends and promised me that when we hang out they will bring them for me to meet. Niall and I clicked instantly and we joked about our love of anything food and how people don't understand how hungry we get sometimes.
After the nurses checked to make sure I was okay Sean came into the room with tears streaming down his face. I got chocked up, I'm such a bitch. He ran over to my bed and attacked me with a huge hug.
"I thought I almost lost you!" He cried and I rubbed his back, my eyes watering.
That's when he became angry. He sprang up from my bed and started pacing the room. His usually gelled back hair was everywhere and dark rings covered the bottom of his eye like he hadn't slept for days. Dark stubble covered his face and his eyes were bright red.
"What the fuck Emma! You thought everything would fucking get better if you just decided to kill yourself? I know everyone is so fucking happy that your awake and so am I but why would you do this to me? I need you, your my family. When I told my mom and dad that I was gay they looked at me like I had a disease, like I had something that needed to be cured. I ran away when I was 17 and no one bothered to find me, they were relieved that I left because I was such a disappointment I felt like no one understood me until I got an email from some random girl that wanted to use our extra bedroom and be our roommate. I was reluctant at first but when I saw you walk in I knew we were gonna be such good friends. I thought that we had each other's backs, I thought we looked out for each other!" He was crying and pacing back and forth across the room.
Tears spilled down my face.
"Sean you have no idea how sorry I am! I'm a selfish bitch who just hurts people all the time. I don't deserve to have all of you as my friends, I definitely don't deserve Harry. I understand if you hate me because I hate myself to. I really do and if you did what I did I probably would kick your ass. We made a promise to each other and I broke it. I'm so sorry." I sobbed into my pillow.
After a moment Sean laid down next to me and wrapped me in his arms. "I'm sorry to. I'm so happy you're okay. It's just if anything were to happen to you I don't know what I would do."
I wiped my eyes and looked at him. "When was the last time you have been home?"
"Since that night 5 days ago, Nick has been bringing me clothes."
I gasped, I was surprised I was out for that long and that it's been that long since he has been in this hospital.
"Go home Sean! I'm fine now, you smell so bad it'll be doing me a favor."
He smiled softly and brushed my hair from my face, moving my body so that my head was resting on his shoulder.
"I'm gonna ignore you said that and stay here till you fall asleep, you need rest."
I feel asleep soon after and when I woke Harry replaced the area Sean was at and I smiled at him.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked intensely and I laughed.
"I thought you would never ask." We kissed for a long time and I have never felt more love.
The day I left the hospital Lola helped my get changed into some clothes she bought since I was still weak. They had to pump my stomach to get the effect the pills had out and it left me with not a lot of energy.
However what happened next I would have never expected. Walking out of the hospital with me being in a wheelchair we were bombarded with paparazzi. They were everywhere.
I have a feeling this isn't going to be the only time.
I remember the moment I opened my eyes and saw Harry's face. It was like I was waiting for that exact moment for my body to allow me to wake up. His face broke into a huge smile and he bent down and kissed me right on the mouth. It was passionate and everything I needed. Though let me just say when the nurse walked in it was pretty awkward, especially when she yelled at Harry for not calling someone when I woke.
That's when the other four strangers woke up in my room and starting smiling when they saw me awake. Harry introduces them to me as his band One Direction, turns out there all pretty cool. Louis, Liam and Zayn have girlfriends and promised me that when we hang out they will bring them for me to meet. Niall and I clicked instantly and we joked about our love of anything food and how people don't understand how hungry we get sometimes.
After the nurses checked to make sure I was okay Sean came into the room with tears streaming down his face. I got chocked up, I'm such a bitch. He ran over to my bed and attacked me with a huge hug.
"I thought I almost lost you!" He cried and I rubbed his back, my eyes watering.
That's when he became angry. He sprang up from my bed and started pacing the room. His usually gelled back hair was everywhere and dark rings covered the bottom of his eye like he hadn't slept for days. Dark stubble covered his face and his eyes were bright red.
"What the fuck Emma! You thought everything would fucking get better if you just decided to kill yourself? I know everyone is so fucking happy that your awake and so am I but why would you do this to me? I need you, your my family. When I told my mom and dad that I was gay they looked at me like I had a disease, like I had something that needed to be cured. I ran away when I was 17 and no one bothered to find me, they were relieved that I left because I was such a disappointment I felt like no one understood me until I got an email from some random girl that wanted to use our extra bedroom and be our roommate. I was reluctant at first but when I saw you walk in I knew we were gonna be such good friends. I thought that we had each other's backs, I thought we looked out for each other!" He was crying and pacing back and forth across the room.
Tears spilled down my face.
"Sean you have no idea how sorry I am! I'm a selfish bitch who just hurts people all the time. I don't deserve to have all of you as my friends, I definitely don't deserve Harry. I understand if you hate me because I hate myself to. I really do and if you did what I did I probably would kick your ass. We made a promise to each other and I broke it. I'm so sorry." I sobbed into my pillow.
After a moment Sean laid down next to me and wrapped me in his arms. "I'm sorry to. I'm so happy you're okay. It's just if anything were to happen to you I don't know what I would do."
I wiped my eyes and looked at him. "When was the last time you have been home?"
"Since that night 5 days ago, Nick has been bringing me clothes."
I gasped, I was surprised I was out for that long and that it's been that long since he has been in this hospital.
"Go home Sean! I'm fine now, you smell so bad it'll be doing me a favor."
He smiled softly and brushed my hair from my face, moving my body so that my head was resting on his shoulder.
"I'm gonna ignore you said that and stay here till you fall asleep, you need rest."
I feel asleep soon after and when I woke Harry replaced the area Sean was at and I smiled at him.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked intensely and I laughed.
"I thought you would never ask." We kissed for a long time and I have never felt more love.
The day I left the hospital Lola helped my get changed into some clothes she bought since I was still weak. They had to pump my stomach to get the effect the pills had out and it left me with not a lot of energy.
However what happened next I would have never expected. Walking out of the hospital with me being in a wheelchair we were bombarded with paparazzi. They were everywhere.
I have a feeling this isn't going to be the only time.
10/18/13