The Girl with the Red Lipstick
Lets Get Wrong
How did my life become like this? I don't really know myself. I guess I can start from way back.
My mom was one of those teenage pregnancies, I was a "happy" surprise. My dad who was a real punk tried to get her to have an abortion but when she refused he left. I haven't met him, he lives out in California with a wife and two replacement kids. I also get a card in the mail every year on my birthday with some stupid ass poetry on it about growing into myself, like geez dad this poetry sucks more then your abandonment.
Anyway, I grew up in some small ass town in Rhode Island were everyone seems to know everyone. Where it's not uncommon to hook up with your best friends ex cause there is a shortage of guys, apparently that doesn't make it right though.
I haven't always been a slut. When I was a sophomore I was a virgin that never been kissed and I watched all my friends have boyfriends and talk about guys. I had pretty low self esteem. Then summer after sophomore year I met Jared. He was perfect, all my friends were so jealous.
We dated till the end of senior year, we both got accepted into URI and were planning our wedding (even though neither of us wanted to get married yet) picked our house and our kids names. May of senior year I found out that Jared and my then friend Cecily were sleeping together since January.
I was more then hurt, I still can't describe how I felt. It was like a huge boulder had fallen on my chest and I couldn't get out. I had given everything to this guy. My life, my virginity and my trust. I was even more hurt from Cecily, my best friend since kindergarten. I couldn't believe I was friends with someone who would do that to me.
On my high school graduation I never felt more alone. I went home and cried while my mom desperately tried to get me to talk to her. The summer after high school was extremely miserable, instead of hitting the beach with Cecily witch I always did I stayed home and eat.
I gained a lot of weight that summer, my self esteem at an all time low. I even considered suicide but I never had the courage to try it. It was when I was packing up my room to go to college that I realized I couldn't do it, I couldn't stay in this small state and go to college with the same people. I couldn't take it anymore.
My mom wasn't happy. She felt as a single mother she didn't raise me right. That's the opposite, she's my best friend and always will be. She had to realize that the only way I can grow and find out what I want to be is to leave this small town and see the world.
So I moved to the biggest place I could think of, New York City. I found an apartment on craigslist with 3 guys (it's like New Girl but I have no sexual contact with any of them. They are my best friends and there off limits. Manly because relationships are a mess and I don't wanna go down that road again.)
I lost the weight, got a job at some cute cafe in Manhattan and got the hell out of Rhode Island. While everyone was going off to college and having fun I was working my ass off. It all paid off soon enough because I managed to buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes the old Emma would never wear.
Think high fashion and vintage, I also never left the house without red lipstick on. It became my sort of trademark and that's how people refereed to me.
I met Lola at my work and we became best friends. I was real hesitant about becoming friends with a girl again but she's so amazing you have no choice but to love her. She's like me, moving to New York to get away from a small town. We clicked instantly and that's when we started going to clubs.
We got fake id's and since we dressed so mature no one seemed to question it. I started to hook up with guys and instead of giving them my name I always referred to me as the girl with the red lipstick. By the end of the year, I must have slept with so many guys the old Emma would cringe.
I was far from the girl that got cheated on, I'm now the girl that guys want to cheat on with. I don't have any contact with anyone in Rhode Island besides my mother. I always refuse to go visit her so she always comes up to me. Lately she has been talking to some guy, and when she told me I screamed and kissed her on the cheek.
Sure being away from your hometown for more then a year is hard but no way am I gonna become that girl again. I don't have a Facebook or any social network and I live life fast and wonderful. Living carefree is how I should have done it long ago.
But then I met Harry Styles and my perfectly controlled life got out of control.
My mom was one of those teenage pregnancies, I was a "happy" surprise. My dad who was a real punk tried to get her to have an abortion but when she refused he left. I haven't met him, he lives out in California with a wife and two replacement kids. I also get a card in the mail every year on my birthday with some stupid ass poetry on it about growing into myself, like geez dad this poetry sucks more then your abandonment.
Anyway, I grew up in some small ass town in Rhode Island were everyone seems to know everyone. Where it's not uncommon to hook up with your best friends ex cause there is a shortage of guys, apparently that doesn't make it right though.
I haven't always been a slut. When I was a sophomore I was a virgin that never been kissed and I watched all my friends have boyfriends and talk about guys. I had pretty low self esteem. Then summer after sophomore year I met Jared. He was perfect, all my friends were so jealous.
We dated till the end of senior year, we both got accepted into URI and were planning our wedding (even though neither of us wanted to get married yet) picked our house and our kids names. May of senior year I found out that Jared and my then friend Cecily were sleeping together since January.
I was more then hurt, I still can't describe how I felt. It was like a huge boulder had fallen on my chest and I couldn't get out. I had given everything to this guy. My life, my virginity and my trust. I was even more hurt from Cecily, my best friend since kindergarten. I couldn't believe I was friends with someone who would do that to me.
On my high school graduation I never felt more alone. I went home and cried while my mom desperately tried to get me to talk to her. The summer after high school was extremely miserable, instead of hitting the beach with Cecily witch I always did I stayed home and eat.
I gained a lot of weight that summer, my self esteem at an all time low. I even considered suicide but I never had the courage to try it. It was when I was packing up my room to go to college that I realized I couldn't do it, I couldn't stay in this small state and go to college with the same people. I couldn't take it anymore.
My mom wasn't happy. She felt as a single mother she didn't raise me right. That's the opposite, she's my best friend and always will be. She had to realize that the only way I can grow and find out what I want to be is to leave this small town and see the world.
So I moved to the biggest place I could think of, New York City. I found an apartment on craigslist with 3 guys (it's like New Girl but I have no sexual contact with any of them. They are my best friends and there off limits. Manly because relationships are a mess and I don't wanna go down that road again.)
I lost the weight, got a job at some cute cafe in Manhattan and got the hell out of Rhode Island. While everyone was going off to college and having fun I was working my ass off. It all paid off soon enough because I managed to buy a whole new wardrobe of clothes the old Emma would never wear.
Think high fashion and vintage, I also never left the house without red lipstick on. It became my sort of trademark and that's how people refereed to me.
I met Lola at my work and we became best friends. I was real hesitant about becoming friends with a girl again but she's so amazing you have no choice but to love her. She's like me, moving to New York to get away from a small town. We clicked instantly and that's when we started going to clubs.
We got fake id's and since we dressed so mature no one seemed to question it. I started to hook up with guys and instead of giving them my name I always referred to me as the girl with the red lipstick. By the end of the year, I must have slept with so many guys the old Emma would cringe.
I was far from the girl that got cheated on, I'm now the girl that guys want to cheat on with. I don't have any contact with anyone in Rhode Island besides my mother. I always refuse to go visit her so she always comes up to me. Lately she has been talking to some guy, and when she told me I screamed and kissed her on the cheek.
Sure being away from your hometown for more then a year is hard but no way am I gonna become that girl again. I don't have a Facebook or any social network and I live life fast and wonderful. Living carefree is how I should have done it long ago.
But then I met Harry Styles and my perfectly controlled life got out of control.
10/18/13