I Survived

“Are you going to go?” He asked, gripping my hand.

“I- I don’t know.” I sighed.

“It’s only for a month. I’ll even come over and visit.”

“You’re not coming?” My voice wobbled slightly. The thought of leaving the country on my own was daunting and then there’s the process of flying, I pledged to never set foot on a flying tin can again. I don’t think I could survive twice.

“I would, you know I would but we’ve got the studio booked.

“I understand.” I smiled slightly trying to look like I was fine.

“So is that a yes Natasha?” Maria’s voice startled me, I forgot she was even here. “One month in America, on tour with Cassadee Pope, you’ll love it.” She was trying to persuade me but I wasn’t exactly a push over.

“Can I talk to Louis in private?” I mumbled.

“Surely any consideration should be discussed with your manager too?” She asked rhetorically.

“Manager?” I practically choked.

“Yes, I’m your manager.”


“How did I not know anything about this?”

“It was in your contract you signed at headquarters.”

“It was?”

“I’m assuming you didn’t read the fine print?” She joked.

“There were about 18 pages of fine print, I like to read but that’s pushing it.” I chuckled.

“We’ll you’re stuck with me now. Don’t worry, I’m not a horrible person, I won’t make you get up at five every morning to work out.”

“Good because I didn’t even know five in the morning existed.”


“Do you still need to talk about stuff?”

“Do you mind?”

“No, not at all, I’ll be just outside.”


“Thanks.” I smiled as she left the room.

“Nata-”

“Louis, before you lecture me about going and how great of an opportunity it is and blah blah blah, I know but that’s no why I’m holding back.”

“You’ll regret it.” He chimed.

“Louis, listen. I want to go so bad, I just don’t think I can set foot on a plane.” My eyes now trailed down to our hands.

“You flew back to England.” His words were an attempt to reassure me but it wasn’t working.

“I didn’t have a choice.” My voice was flattering.

“Tash, listen. I felt the same why I’ve been around the world since, it’ll be fine. Trust me.”

“Where you traveling with the boys?”

“Yeah?”


“Exactly, I’ll be traveling alone. No one to reassure me, or calm me down, or even hold my hand when the place descends into the oc-”

“That’s not going to happen. Don’t even think like that.”

“You can’t predict the future.”

“Don’t be a party popper, live for the moment.”

“It’s hard to move on from something so life changing.”

“I know, well actually I don’t, but I want to help you.”

“Help me what? Help me forget my family existed?” My voice was barely audible but a tinge of anger-hidden inside.

“That’s not what I meant.” His voice sounded tired, annoyed.

“Sorry.” My hands covered my face as I held in the tears.

“Don’t be.”

“I’m such a hassle, I bet it feels like you’re babysitting me half of the time, I’m not the carefree girlfriend you deserve, I’m the high maintenance pain in the ass girlfriend which you don’t need or deserve.” My eyes were still squeezed tightly shut but the audible sound of soft laughing form in the room cause me to ever so slightly peel them open. “What?” My eyebrows knotted together.

“You do talk some rubbish sometimes.” A hint of laughter was still in his voice. “I think half of the time you’re babysitting me, I don’t act like a 21 year old. And you’re right, I don’t deserve you. You’re way out my league.” He winked which made me blush.

“Ha, out of your league? Louis that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever he-” Typical, I could never get a proper sentence out. My lips were joined to his in a matter of seconds.

“It’s really not fair when you do that.”

“Don’t deny you didn’t like it.” Our foreheads were pressed together.

“I never said I didn’t.” I chuckled.

“happier now?”

“You have a way of making people happy don’t you?” I couldn’t help but grin.

“Has it won you over yet?”

“Do I get a say?”

“No, because no matter what you say, I’ll find a way to make you go.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” I chuckled.

“You guys ready to talk?” Maria’s head popped around the corner.

“I think so.” Louis beamed.

“Good, because I need to shoot and scoot in about 2 minutes.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” I replied.

“No problem hun, although I hope you come bearing good news.”

“I think she does.” Louis sung.

“Great. I don’t know what you did, but thank you. I no longer have to carry around this massive booklet of forms and everything else to do with tour.”

“Woah.” Was all I could say.

“Bit of heavy reading send you to sleep nicely.” She joked. “Right, I must be off. I’ll pop round in a couple days, best get packing.”

“Packing? Already?”

“Yeah, you leave in a week.”

“A week?!” I shouted. Louis was quick out of his seat. “LOUIS TOMLINSON YOU GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!”

“HARRY PROTECT ME!” He screamed.

“Taylor’s gone?” I asked tapping my fingers on my chin.

“Yeah.” Harry’s reply felt uneasy.

“Okay…”

“So, you going to America?”

“Yup.”


“Cool…”

“Yep…”

“HARRY!” Niall’s voice ended the awkward conversation.

“What?” Harry mustered a reply as he trailed into the living room. “What’s up?” Harry asked, perching on the end of the sofa next to Niall.

“He’s reading fanfiction about you.” Liam sighed, he didn’t seen to me impressed.

“That’s slightly weird Niall.”

“Louis’ is too.” Oddly, Niall seemed proud to be reading it.

“Do I even want to know what happens?” Harry chuckled.

“Well apparently you and Louis are closer than friends.” Niall was now laughing as he read down his phone.

“What?” Louis rose form behind the soda where he was hiding.

“Ooo, Louis, you get jealous easily I see.” I couldn’t help but laugh when Niall read loud some of the scenes.

“Okay, I think you better stop there.” Liam interrupted.

“I was just getting into that.” Niall whined.

“Niall, that’s slightly weird that you’re enjoying graphic fanfiction about your band members…” Zayn spoke.

“It’s entertaining.” He defended.

“Who even wrote that?” Harry asked pulling the phone that was now on Liam’s hand. “1persephone.” He concluded.

“Who?” Louis asked.

“A very dedicated fan.” Harry chuckled tossing the phone back to Niall.

“I’m off to bed, apparently I have some packing to do tomorrow.” I spoke narrowing my eyes at Louis.

“Night!” They all chimed except Louis who followed me to the room.

“You’re not mad are you?”


“Louis, I couldn’t stay mad at you even if I tried. You’re so annoying.”

“I know, that’s why you love me.” He laughed, closing the bedroom door behind him.

“And many other reasons.”

“Like my extremely sexy body.”

“Night Lou.” I replied, ignoring his comment.

“Night Scar.” He replied before our lips attached for the last time that night.

I woke up at the middle of night I just couldn’t sleep. After tiptoeing down the corridor since everyone appeared to be asleep I thought it would be quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief once I reached the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge.

“Who the heck eats cheese out of a can?” I muttered to myself as I read the ingredients on the can. “Okay seriously, teddy bear ham? I haven’t seen this since I was ten.” I chuckled by myself.

“That’s Niall’s.”

“Bloody hell.” I shouted, hitting my head on the self. “Ouch.” I mumbled rubbing the spot in my head. “What are you doing up Harry?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He sighed and closed the fridge door before I had the chance to get anything to eat.

“Couldn’t sleep.” I replied, fetching myself a glass of water. “Want one?” I questioned.

“No, I’m good thanks. And I couldn’t sleep either.”

“Something on your mind?” He nodded in response. “Wanna talk about it?” I asked, walking into the living room with him.

“I actually do. I’m actually glad no one else is around because it’s you I actually wanted to speak to.”

“Really?”

“Yeah and I think you probably know why.” I already knew were he was heading.

“Jenna?”

“Didn’t take an Einstein to work it out.” I nodded. “Are you mad?”

“No.” I sighed.

“But you’re not happy are you?”

“Can you blame me?”

“It depends on what you’re not happy with.”

“You want to know the truth?” He nodded. “I’m upset because of the fact that you felt the need to keep it a secret, not even a single hint.”

“I didn’t tell anyone though, I just wanted to make sure.”

“But I was friends with Jenna, I could have told you stuff she liked.”

“Why would you do that? You have each other?”

“Yeah, but I don’t hate you. You’re my best friend, as much as it pains me, I want to see you happy and if that’s with Jenna then who am I to stand in you way? I’ll just have to bite my tongue when she’s around”

“You’re going to America soon anyway.” He grinned squeezing my hand tightly.

“So you’re really with Jenna huh?”

“Yep.”

“Hey what are you doing up.” I just realized we weren’t that quiet.

“Just talking.” Harry replied.

“About me?” Louis grinned.

“We were just saying how amazingly gorgeous you look when you sleep shirtless.” Harry jested as he got up. “Night guys.”

“Night Harry.” I yawned, waving him off down the corridor.

“Tired?”

“I am now.”

“Night Lou, love you”

“Night Natasha. Me too”

It was perfect. I knew my parents would be proud of me if they were here, I knew my sister would always be with me. I had my career, and I was going touring. This couldn’t be more perfect. I was with my boyfriend, my best friend was happy, and I couldn’t be happier myself. And I knew I survived with Louis Tomlinson.

Notes