I Survived

“Can we talk?

“Umm sure.” I suppressed a smile.

“In private.” Jenna replied sternly.

“W-why?” I stuttered, narrowing my eyes at her. I didn’t trust her, not even a slight bit.

“it’s too loud here.” She lied, it was loud stood on the side of the stage but you could still heat clearly what everyone around was saying. There was a 98.9 chance this little `talk´ was going to be about me bing in love with her boyfriend, I didn’t think she would be able to brush it under the rug just like that, which was a shame since I couldn’t be bothered to deal with drama. We ended up walking in an eerie silence down the corridors, I was beginning to think she was leading me outside or into her bat cave or something but she stopped directly outside a door. Before I could ask what was inside she swung the door open and walked straight in, so I followed her. There was nothing interesting inside, just a small sofa and a table.

“So, you’re not dating Harry?” She finally spoke, breaking the awkwardness in the air.

“No…” I trailed off, I couldn’t believe it had taken her so long to figure it out. She clearly wasn’t the sharpest tool into the box.

“Why did you lie?” She snarled, crossing her arms and standing still, staring into my soul.

“I didn’t think it would ever develop as much as it did.” I admitted, circling around the answer but avoiding saying it directly. The sound of the boys singing was faintly in the background, although I would have much preferred it if they stopped singing and appeared at the door to save me form whatever was about to come. I slapped myself in my mind, I’m 19, I need to start growing up.

“You got sucked into a spiral of lies.” She stated. The first thing that came into my mind was a video I was watching on YouTube earlier that day.

“It was a joke, you’re the only one who actually knew about it, nothing bad came out of it.” I tried to comprehend but it only made her look angrier.

“That’s not the point!” She replied raising her voice.

“Okay, I et it, I shouldn’t have lied but there is nothing I can do about it now.”

“What about the other night, do you regret that too?” She growled as she approached me.

“Why don’t you just slap me again?” I replied with no enthusiasm as she stood inches away from me.

“Believe me I’d love to but I want to hear what you have to say first, it would make my day.” She sneered.

“I should have said it. There, happy?” I replied raisin g my hands in the air as an act of innocence.

“How can you `love´ someone you don’t know?” She laughed cynically as she quoted `love´ with her fingers. I didn’t want be interrogated anymore so I stated walking towards the door. Her arm shot out in front of me stopping me from moving. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To the bathroom, if that’s okay with you?”

“No.” She growled and pulled me violently back to my precious position. I leaned back on the table, trying to look confident but her constant growling and previous violent behavior set me on edge. “What’s Louis middle name?”

“What?”

“Where does he come from?” She shouted.

“I don’t know.”

“What date did he audition for the x-factor?”


“Excuse me?” I scoffed.

“How many siblings does he have?”

“3?” I guessed.

“What’s his favorite food?”


“The edible sort.” I replied sarcastically as I watched her roll stupid questions of her sharp tongue.

“What score did he get in his English exam in year 9”

“What sort of question is that?” I laughed.

“What shampoo does he use? How many followers does he have on twitter?”

“A lot.” I grinned.

“YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!” She shouted facing me form across the room.

“I don’t need to know what shampoo he uses to be…”

“To be what? To be in love with him?!” She carried on shouting. “How can you be in love with someone you don’t know?” She started laughing sardonically. “Natasha Dalton.” She laughed evilly. “Natasha Destiny Dalton.” She added, tapping her finders against her chin. I cringed at the sound of my middle name; no one knew my middle name.

“I don’t even know how you figured out my unknown names but it’s creepy.” I scoffed.

“I did a little research.” Research? She could have found out things that should have remained under a pile of sand. “You see, I hired some people my father knew and now I know a few things.” She smiled. “I know how you over fed your goldfish when you were eight and killed it.

“Okay, that was an accident.” I was now extremely worried, ho the heck could someone possibly find that out?

“I also know in year 11 at school you almost failed math. She stated. “I also know how all your friends promised to go together for prom as a group but hey all ditched you for their new boyfriends.

“How that heck do you know that?” I asked in disbelief.

You got to the Starbucks near you apartment, or should I say old apartment since you got kicked out You got there jus to see Justin, you favorite barista.”

“He makes good drinks.” I defended.

“Yeah right. I also know you used to go partying and clubbing a lot.”

“Doesn’t every teenager?”

“Most, but you stopped going, didn’t you?” The tears were brimming along my waterline as I waited for her to continue. “February 27th. Why don’t you tell me what happened that night?”

“Nothing.” I lied through my gritted teeth.

“Ashamed? Did someone have to much to drink?”

“I had one drink.” I growled, it felt like I was being interviewed by the police all over again.

“Just one?” She continued to quiz. I rolled my eyes, hoping to roll away the tears to.

“Stop bringing my past up, it has no relevance to the future.”


“Oh I know that.” She grinned. “I just enjoy doing this to you. I can see those tears along your eyes, you’re trying your best not to cry, nice effort” She huffed. “You’re imagining that night all over again aren’t you?” She questioned as she stopped directly in front of my eyes. I didn’t bother to lo0k at her, my eyes became distracted by my feet again. “How he led you to his car, or should I say dragged.” She laughed. “How he locked the doors and whispered something into your ear. The way your eyes lit up with fear but you couldn’t move. That one drink was fatal, it wasn’t just a drink was it?” She quizzed I didn’t say or move as I continued to stare at the dirty floor. “He drugged you.” She smirked. “You had no idea what you were doing, you didn’t have any control, did you?” She asked rhetorically as she began to circle me again. “He carried on driving despite your cries fro help, you were worthless. You still are.” She snarled, as much as I wanted to smack her that would only mean stooping to her level. I couldn’t be bothered to stop the tears anymore. “Don’t cry, the past doesn’t matter, remember?” She questioned. “He dragged you inside his house and forced you up against his bedroom wall.”


“Please stop.” I whimpered, I didn’t want to relive it. I had no idea how she knew about this, only the police knew, not even Jenna had an idea of what happened that night, I refused to speak of it.

“But it’s just getting good.” She laughed. “He then threw you onto the bed didn’t he? Did you like that?” She sneered trying to look me in the eyes. “I hope you weren’t planning on wearing that same dress again, after he ripped it off you it was liked an old dish cloth disheveled on the floor.” I winced at her words. “What happened after that?” She whispered into my ear.

“Shut up.” I muttered out, trying to sound strong but my voice started cracking.

“Are you ashamed?” She asked. “Does it make you feel worthless?” She lightly snarled.
“What happened that night is none of you business and should remain in private.”

“But they say your past defines the person you are now.”

“How would that define who I am?” I croaked out.

“Well let’s see…” She smirked. “It made you look worthless in which you still are. You were irresponsible and you still are.”

“SHUT UP!” I screamed, I couldn’t bear to hear anymore.

“You can shout now, it’s a shame you couldn’t do that on the night he…”

“STOP!” I shouted cutting her off. The tears were flowing heavily down my face as I shucked in short breaths, trying not to have a panic attack.

“HE RAPED YOU AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE THAT!” She screamed in my face, her face only centimeters away from mine.

“STOP, stop!” I repeated, felling defeated, the thought od that night flooded my mind and I couldn’t stop then.

“You’re just a weak as you were that night as you are now.”


“Stop.” I pleaded barely audible.

“No, you stop, you don’t belong here.” She growled.

“I don’t help it if I love your boyfriend, I may not know him like you do but I can’t change my feeling and tearing someone apart isn’t going to change that!” I shouted before pushing past her, only to be greeted by five, sweaty boys. My eyes locked with Louis but I ignored everything anyone said and pushed past them all as I began to run towards the exit. Those seconds I locked eye contact with Louis felt so sincere, I had no idea how much any of them had heard of that conversation but I didn’t want to know. I continued to run as I reached the door, I pushed down the handle and threw the door wide open. My legs carried me towards the tour bus, it was only a few hundred meters away but it seemed to disappear in the distance. I kept running and running, as the tears streamed continually down my face.

“NATASHA!!” A familiar voice called after me in the cool summer night air, but I ignored it and carried on running.

Notes