Niall’s P.O.V.

Some girl walks past me, her shoulder hitting hard against mine. The house is full, and only one person is missing. I imagine her face everywhere. She’s taking over me. I hear Josh laughing in the corner, holding a drink while talking to some other guys who live down the street. I walk past the group of guys, making sure everyone’s doing fine. I flash a few smiles, throw a few “hi’s” here and there, a nod of the head or two, but for the most part I just feel terrible.

It’s not a party without Luke.

I don’t know exactly what she would do if she were here, or how she would make the party better, but I imagine the presence of her itself would make me feel better. God, I really messed up.

“Hey, man,” someone says, catching my attention. I look up to see who’s set a hand on my shoulder. It’s Josh.

“Hey,” I grin, even though my lips are trying to pull back into a frown.

“Ah, come on now,” Josh rolls his eyes. “Don’t give me that bullshit. Why were you looking so down? Doesn’t look like you’re having much of a good time.”

“It’s nothing,” I shake my head. “Just a girl.”

“Doesn’t seem like it’s just a girl,” Josh presses on. “It must be something pretty depressing if it means that you aren’t smiling.”

“I messed up.”

“Living off the guilt, then?” Josh raises his eyebrows, leaning against one of the pillars. He looks interested in finding out what’s wrong with me, even though I’d rather keep it to myself. I feel like if I give Luke a little more time, she’ll come through. Then again, it’s Luke. I’ll never know her next move.

“Don’t worry about me,” I smile. “It’s nothing. I’ll figure things out.”

“Well, let me know when you need me.” Josh winks. “You know, cause’ I’m all amazing and stuff. Plus, I’m great with the girls. They fall over their feet when they see me drumming.”

“Sure,” I laugh, pushing Josh away. He shoots me a cheeky grin and walks off the go talk to another group of people.

Once he’s gone, my frown takes over my face.



Luke’s P.O.V.

“Come on dad,” I smile assuringly and put my hand on his back.

“Just as long as you’ve got my back, kiddo.” Dad nods, pecking my hair as I unlock the front door. He looks around and smiles shortly, taking in the scent of the house.

“Great to be home.” he sighs, pulling me into a hug. He’s got a limp when he walks, but other than a very large sewn up cut on his head, he’s absolutely fine. I’ve missed him.

Hotshot skids around the corner and barks loudly at my dad’s presence. His fur bounces up and down as he tries to get my dad’s attention. I look up and see that his gaze is elsewhere. He stares at a picture of himself and mom on their wedding day.

“Dad…”

“She’s really gone, isn’t she?” he sighs. When he looks back at me, there’s tears in his eyes.

“I-I’m sorry dad,” I gulped. “If I had known you were coming home sooner, I would’ve takne down the pictures. I’m so-”

“No,” he shakes his head and looks around the house, in the living room where a collage of family photos and hung up. “Pictures are the best way to save beautiful memories.”

“Oh,” I nod in agreement. He sighs again, more deeply. His fingers reach up to the large scar on his head and he runs them over his scalp.

“I’m going to get a shower.” he says. “Those hospitals are nasty.”

“Do you need help?” I clear my throat. It’s incredibly odd, asking my dad if he needs help showering. However, it’s the least I can do.

“No,” he chuckles, kissing my forehead. I smile and watch him limp upstairs. I wince when he trips on a step and I’m about the run to catch him when he finds away to balance himself, continuing up the stairs. I follow far behind him upstairs and go to my room. I stand there at the entrance, because I don’t know what to do.

I wonder what Niall is doing right now.

I know what he’s doing. He’s hosting his party, probably drinking and laughing and having fun with his friends, having well-forgotten about me. It kills me to think that that is the highest possibility.

But I hate him. I can’t think about him. He confused me, used me, twisted my heart into a big knot that wouldn’t undo. Yet I still think about him. And I can’t stop.

I sit on the edge of my bed and let out a long exhale, resting my head in my hands with are supported by my elbows. My breath shakes as I try to clear my mind. My dad is home. I’m happy, yet I’m also a bit sad. I’ve lost some freedom of which I had gained, but it was lovely to have him back.

I hear the shower turn on down the hall, and fall back on my bed. My dad will start questioning me. He will ask whether I’ve received college acceptance letters, he will ask whether I’ve chosen a school, he will ask what I’ve done while he was gone. I had nothing to say because the only things I had done other than sit alone in my room, was go out with Niall.

He will hate the fact I've spent time with a boy.

My father is protective, always has been, always will be. To tell him I had been spending the past near month with a boy would send him to the hospital all over again. I couldn’t tell him that.
So when I see a face in the window, the first thing that flies through my head is how I would explain this is my father.

Niall pounds on my room window, and I can tell he’s gripping onto the edges of the window frame for his life. Call me evil, but watching him worry was entertaining, to say the least. I simply shake my head at him, because I’m not going to let him in.

But I want to.

I won’t.

“Luke!” his yell is muffled and a bit blurry but I make it out. “It’s starting to-”

Mother nature finishes his sentence for him, and the slight drizzle of rain that must have only been noticeable from the outside suddenly turns into large drops, pattering against the rooftop. I still wouldn’t let him in.

“I’m slipping!” I hear him yell over the rain from outside. My heart jumps when he loses grip on the frame but finds a way to grab back on. “Seriously, Luke!”

I give up and let him in.

Maybe it’s the fact that he could’ve just died, or maybe it’s the fact that I still like him. Which ever the reason is, I’m glad I let him in. He shivers as he stands in front of my window while I reach over and slide it closed. He’s soaked and his teeth chatter.

“Why are you here?” I ask, placing my hands on my hips. God, I feel like I’m torturing him.

His lips chatter. “I m-made a m-mistake.”

“And why could you not ring the doorbell instead of use the window, dumbass?” I smirk as he wraps his arms around himself.

“I thought i-it would b-be rom-mantic?” he shrugs, his voice cracking at the end as his eyes crinkle hopefully. Yes, it is romantic. It’s the cutest thing anyone has ever done for me.

“Well you’re wrong,” I spit. “You’re stupid.”

His face falls and he continues to shiver. It’s silent, uncomfortably silent. Niall keeps his head down, but I see him trying to catch my eye. The sound of the shower running can be heard, and Niall suddenly frowns.

“Who else is here?” He looks pale.

I smirk at him and pretend to be hiding something, biting my lip and turning away. “No one.”

“Come on, Luke.” he presses. “I’m not deaf. The shower is running. Who is here?”

“Just a g-”

“A guy?” Niall shrieks. His blue eyes become wide and he’s stopped shivering. I see his fists clench and he grits his teeth. “Your boyfriend?” His voice cracks again. I just shrug. Niall turns on his heel and storms towards my door. When I realize he thinks I’m serious, I grab his wet shirt and pull him back.

“Niall, I’m just kidding.” I tell him. “My dad is here.”

His face contorts as he searches mine, trying to figure out what the truth is. “Your dad? I thought he was in the hospital.”

“They released him.” I explain, stepping back. We’re too close for my heart to be beating at a normal pace.

“Oh,” he breathes. His still looks at me, his eyes going no where else. “That’s great. It must be nice to have someone in the house.”

“I guess,” I shrug. “He just got back. It hasn’t been long.”

“Oh, right.” he nods slowly. It’s silent again, the sound of his shaky breath being the only thing I can hear besides the loud and fast beating of my own heart racing.

“Aren’t you supposed to be hosting a party?” I question, sitting on my bed. He continues to stand, but turns my way.

“It’s not the same without you.” he mumbles. “It’s just boring without you there.” Niall starts shaking and I tell him to hold on so I can go find him a towel. I grab a shirt from my dad’s drawer along the way. When I re-enter my room, Niall is jumping up and down, trying to keep warm. I throw him a towel which he catches with ease and let him dry himself off. Then I hand him the shirt.

He glances at me for a second with a small, almost unnoticeable smile on his face, then pulls his drenched shirt off in one motion. I look away awkwardly as soon as I catch a glimpse of his well built abs. He is gorgeous. What is he doing chasing after a girl like me?

“You can look now if you want.” he voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn to him a subtly check him out before giving him a smile.

“Are you warmer now?”

“Much.” he chuckles lightly.

“Lucilia?” There’s a hard knock in the door and my eyes widen at Niall who gets up in a hastle. “Lucilia, can I come in?”

I think fast as I push Niall under my bed. “Um,” I groan a little. “Can you come back later? I’m having… girl problems.”

“Oh,” my dad clears his throat. “Right. Okay. Do you need anything?”

“Nope,” I yell. “I’m good, dad. Thanks.”

“Why do you seem so out of breath?” Dad asks. I stand up and take a deep breath.

“There’s nothing wrong, dad. I just have a cramp.”

There’s a loud sigh before he says, “Okay. Just shout if you need anything.” His footsteps become distance and Niall exhales underneath the bed in relief.

“Too close, Niall. Way too close.” I gulp, pulling him out from under the bed. he sits up against the bed and pulls his knees slightly towards his chest.

He then looks up at me with a sly grin. “Lucilia?”

I throw a pillow at his face. “Shut up.”

Niall’s laughs, but changes the subject because he knows his limits. “I’m going to assume that he doesn’t approve of guys in your bedroom.”

“He’s extremely over-protective. I’m pretty sure he’s absolutely fine with the fact that I don’t have friends. Less people to have to trust, for him.”

“Well,” Niall stands up and dusts his pants off, giving me a hard look. “He’s going to have to learn to trust me, because I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m still mad at you.”

“But I don’t want you to be mad at me.” he pouts. “Why are you even mad at me again?”

I think for a moment. It’s because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me. It’s because he thinks that I’m not ready to deal with the hardships that will come with dating him. And then I realize all at once, that I am an incredibly selfish excuse of a human being.

“I can’t quite remember?” I lie, once I’ve come to realization of the sad truth about myself.

“So forgive me then, and then we can go on a date.”


“Fine, I- wait what?”

“You heard me. You and I are going on a date.”

“But I’m still mad at you.”

“You don’t even know why you’re mad at me.”

I sigh. “I do, actually. It’s because I’m unbelievably selfish when I want to be, and I don’t know how to make friends, and when I do make friends, I develop feelings for them that ignite the selfish devil in me that leads me to being mad at the person, which drives the maway, which ruins their life, which ruins my life, and I don’t-”

“I’m thinking golfing tomorrow at around noon. You in?” he interrupts, stepping closer.

“You interrupted me.” I frown.

Niall just shrugs. “You were only talking shit about yourself. Nothing I shouldn’t interrupt.”

“Why do I have to be so good at messing up all my chances?” I mumble quietly to myself more than to him. I’m aware that I haven’t yet accepted his offer for a date. It’s all I’ve wanted, but now I feel like a don’t deserve it. I can never make up my mind. I sit back against the headboard of my bed and stare elsewhere. Niall stands at my side. I can feel his stare, his sapphire blue eyes gently burning holes into me.

I shiver.

“Everyone messes up sometimes,” he says, and the bed dips when he lays down beside me. “But when you’re lucky enough, you get a second chance.”

I turn and put my weight on my elbow to face him. I stare at him and he stares at me. His eyes are so blue, crystal clear. He touches my face with his hand, and lets his hand curve past my cheekbones. I hold my breath when he pulls me in, one hand still on my face, the other placed on my lower back. I close my eyes when I feel his warm breath on my lips, preparing to kiss him.

The doors opens, and there stands my father. “Lucilia River Aesbury!”

Oh my god.

Niall jerks away from me and both of us look at my father, alarmed. Niall gulps and gets up from my bed, backing towards the wall. My father glares at me, and then burns holes into Niall.

“Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?” my dad shouts at Niall. I try not to start crying. I’ve never seen my father this mad. It’s bad for him to be shouting like this, after just being released from the hospital.

“Dad. please…” I sit up and try to look at him in a calming way. “Please stop, dad. It’s not good for you.”

“Is this what you’ve been doing while I was gone? Screwing around with a boy?” my dad yells at me. Tears build up at the rims of my eyes. “And to think that I trusted you to stay here all by yourself. What have you been doing with him?”

“We aren’t dating, if that’s what you think. And we weren’t ‘screwing around’,” NIall steps up, his hands shoved in his pockets. I can tell he’s trying to push away how scared he is. “She’s just a friend, sir.”

“Sure.” my dad scoffs. “That’s why I walked in on you two about to kiss.”

Niall looks down in surrender.

“Get out of my house, now!” My dad yells, pointing towards the door. Niall nods quickly and walks past my bed. He glances at me for a split second and then, he’s gone. Not a second later, my dad’s face starts to pale, and he puts a hand on the wall for support. He’s breathing rapidly, and I rush out of bed and to his side just in time to slip an arm around his back, supporting his body as he loses consciousness.

I scream. “Niall!”

I’m already crying because my dad had just banned me from seeing the only peer I had ever truly communicated with, but I cry even more because I’ve caused this. Niall rushed back into the room, and when he sees me trying to support the weight of my father’s limp body, he runs to him and grabs his other arm, helping me set him down on the floor.

We don’t speak to each other as we dab my father's head with wet pieces of cloth. It’s awkward, and I still feel tears rolling down my cheeks. When my dad’s eyes finally open, Niall is up and out of my bedroom before I can even thank him. I guess he doesn’t want my father to shout again.

“Lucilia?” My father reaches up and holds my face in both his hands.

“I’m so sorry, dad.” I shake my head at him slowly. “This is all my fault.”

“What do you mean?” he asks. I see him mentally shrug it off. “You know, I just had the craziest dream.”

“What was it?” I gulp.

“There was some rowdy blonde boy in your bed when I walked into you room.” he chuckles to himself. Rowdy? He thinks it was all a dream. “Imagine that. Those meds really must be getting to me.”

I smile at him, covering up my guilt. “You’re too silly, dad.”

Notes

Sorry for not updating :P I had a life to attend to. Hope you like this chapter!