Rating: 7

My Thoughts: I think you're story is really good so far! It doesn't seem like you've introduced your plot yet, so there isn't much to say about the story itself, but I can say it's very well written as off now. Keep it up!

The Story Critic Says:
Positive Points:
- Everything that is taking place in your story is very clear. It is easy to understand and is written so that the readers can easily interpret what is going on.
- You create a suspense for the readers. Like right now I'm anxious to find out what happens with Andy and Liam. :) It keeps readers coming back for more.

Negative Points:
- Your dialogue needs to be in a grammatically correct form. Every time someone says something, start a new paragraph and put quotes around it. You can't have a dialogue in the middle of a paragraph.
- You have a few comma splices. Make sure you put commas where they are supposed to be and not where they aren't supposed to be.
- Make your paragraphs a bit longer. Add some more description to it. It's just to make it seem more professional. :)

Overall Thoughts:
- I think your story is great! Really impressive work and all, but just a few little corrections. Good job!

Go and check out Do You Remember by Niall'sFUTUREWife: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/19770/Do-you-remember/

Notes

Hey guys! I'm realizing most people have almost the same mistakes...
so if you see me repeating some stuff, it's not because I haven't read your story or anything... I just found a few of the same mistakes.

Ok so rate and comment!