His Queen

Rating: 5

My Thoughts: To be honest, it isn't my type of story. Good plot, I will admit. I'm not in to the whole royalty thing, but okay!

The Story Critic Says: There was a lot of flaws, spelling errors, and grammar issues.

Positive Points: Good plot! It's original and unique. It's a Zayn fanfic on a Harry Styles website? (X but it seems to be popular so keep it up!

Negative Points:
-You have a lot of run on sentences
-Punctuation, man! You need those commas and periods!
- C A P I T A L I Z E !
- Try to tie in everything a bit better

Overall Thoughts:Good story, it's original. I don't like the lack of grammar, so please try to fix it (: I'm taking writing classes and to be honest it looks like an example paper you would correct. A few tweaks and your story will be amazing!

Notes

Hiya! I'm a new critic, Pamela. Sorry if I am too harsh with all of you, but if you want to improve you have to face the cold hard facts. I'm taking writing classes, so try dealing with professional teachers! :S
Please read my book: http://www.onedirectionfanfiction.org/Story/17115/Everything-Has-Changed/ (: