Incidisti in Passum

Around 11 at night, I decided I would give Harry his gift. I excused myself from our movie date and went into the master bedroom. I pulled the journal from my bag and flipped through it. I began second guessing my gift. It was plain. Just a hard cover book with a bunch of blank pages. There were complimentary pens on the nightstand by the bed. I picked one up and flipped open to a random page. Since I was a child, I couldn't stand a blank page. Whether it be a lyric or a random doodle, I had to fill it with something. I clicked the pen and began scribbling down the first song that popped into my head. It wasn't my song, but the lyrics were something that always spoke to me whenever I felt bad.

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face. The kind you find on someone on someone I could save. If they don't put me away, well, that would be a miracle. Do you believe you're missing out? That everything good is happening somewhere else? When there's nobody in your bed, the nights hard to get through.
And I will die all alone. And when I arrive, I won't know anyone.
Well, Jesus Christ, I'm alone again. So what did you do those three days you were dead? 'Cause this problems gonna last more than the weekend. Well, Jesus Christ, I'm not afraid to die. I'm a little scared of what some after. Do I get the gold chariot? Will I float through the ceiling?
Do I divide and fall a part? 'Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark. And this ship went down at the sight of land. And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands.
I know you're coming in the night like a thief, but I've had some time alone to hone my lying technique. I know you think that I'm someone you can trust, but I'm scared I'll get scared and I swear I'll try to nail you back up. So do you think that we can work out some day? So I'll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.

I know you're coming for people like me. But we've all got wood and nails and tongue-tied in hate factories. We all got wood and nails, and we sleep inside this machine.

(Jesus Christ by Brand New)

My hand scribbled furiously to write down the lyrics. I had to get it all squeezed into one page before Harry noticed anything suspicious. After the last sentence, I dropped the journal back into it's bag, and went back into the living room. I tried to hide it behind my back, but I was never very sneaky. He saw right through me, laughing at my pathetic attempt. He humored me though. I saw it on his face, that smile he gave.

"Did you get me something?" he asked, peeking behind me as I sat down on the couch.
"No, not at all," I smiled through my lie poorly. I couldn't help but pull the bag from the hiding place behind me. I placed it in the space between us. "I know it's not exactly Christmas yet, but at my house, we're allowed to open one gift on Christmas Eve," I explained. He took the bag and glanced inside quickly. "It's not much, but I know you write," I defended my lack of extravagance as he pulled the wood covered journal out.
He smiled as he held the journal in his hands. He ran his fingers over the smooth cover and the threaded spine. He flipped through the pages quickly, disregarded the one page I took for myself. I watched patiently for him to open his mouth, second guessing my gift once again. I began to bite the nail of my thumb nervously as I awaited his reaction. He dropped the journal on his lap and pulled me into a soft hug.
"Thank you, Sadie," he said quietly in my ear before pulling away, examining the book once again, "it's wonderful. We go on tour soon and I can't wait to fill this with...thoughts and memories, songs, and whatever I want. It's great. Thank you so much," he gave me another hug.
"You're welcome. I just figured, because it's Christmas. It felt right," I explained as the movie rolled on in the background. "I wrote something in the journal randomly. Don't read it yet, until you're alone, I guess. It's nothing special, but I don't know how to explain it," I searched for the right words to say, nibbling on my nail again.
"Fair enough. I won't touch it until I'm back home," he stuck the book back in it's bag and placed it on the table next to our empty mugs.

We went back to our movie. Harry gasped and jumped at small jump scares that I was prepared for, due to the fact that I had seen the movie a hundred times. It made me laugh every time he'd curse to himself or let out a tiny cry. "It's not funny," he'd say as he placed his hand over his heart to make sure it was still in his chest. I could feel his eradicated pulse whenever he's grab me in a fit of fear.
"Calm yourself, darling. You'll give yourself a heart attack," I muttered through a chuckle as the movie dragged on.
"I'm sorry. I'm just...hyper, I suppose," that's when I caught him checking out the clock once more.
It was only 11:50pm, but it felt like longer. Time moved slower now as the holiday approached. I could see the eagerness in his eyes as he peered at the clock with every passing minute. The red, neon light ticked on until finally it was finally midnight. Harry leaped from his seat, like a child that had seen reindeer outside his window.
"I'll be right back," he exclaimed before running into the bedroom.
He came back with his hands behind his back, like I did just an hour ago, only he hid his better than I did. He paused the movie so he wouldn't get scared by any parts and looked at me with a dangerous smile. He looked like a man with a juicy secret behind his hand. I'll admit, it made me nervous.
"Are you okay?" I asked cautiously.
"Close your eyes," he ordered calmly. I humbly obeyed. "Put your palms out, flat, please," once again I obeyed. My palms rested flat and open on my lap. He placed a long, rectangular box in my hands, before I clasped them around it.
"You didn't," I groaned, feeling the jewelry box with my fingers, "you didn't have to, Harry," I said with my eyes still closed.
"Just open it, you whiner. You're the only girl I know who complains about getting jewelry," he chuckled to himself.
I opened my eyes to lift the lid open, revealing my gift. Laying inside of the cushioned box was a necklace. It wasn't anything extremely fancy. A medium-sized glass orb at the end of a long, silver chain. At first, I thought it was simply a glass ball-like pendent. Upon closer inspection, I saw that there was something inside of it. Filling the entire crystal sphere was a dandelion. Not a flower, but the seeds, like the ones you use to make a wish. My face lit up into a smile as I held the pendant in my tiny palms. Harry then took the clasp of the chain and began to unhook it. (Sadie's Necklace: storenvy.com/products/2836791-whole-dandelion-orb-necklace-r...)
"May I?" he asked. I didn't hesitate to move my hair out of the way to allow him wrap the necklace around me and fit it perfectly. He pulled back and smiled at me. "Merry Christmas, Sadie,"
"Merry Christmas, Harry," I smiled back at him. I wrapped my fingers around the pendant, "Thank you so much. It's lovely,"
"It's nothing fancy. I know you don't like a lot of flashy things. I thought this fit you," he held the dandelion pendant between his index finger and thumb. It looked microscopic in his hands. "Make a wish," he joked.
"I love it," I smiled.
Harry let go of the necklace and let fall back onto my chest. He then moved his hand under my chin. Suddenly I couldn't breathe again. His thumb touched my bottom lip like before.
"Your lip is still red," he announced, softly gliding his thumb over my tender skin.
"Is it now?" I breathlessly exhaled, like a harsh whisper.
I noticed his smile was no longer there. His expression was calm and hard. He appeared puzzled, but completely sure of his next movement. His face inched closer to me, gradually as time seemed to slow down, smearing into one long pause. It felt like it took forever, but eventually our lips touched. His frail, gentle kiss, like two feathers falling on top of one another. Like the wind grazing against an autumn leaf. All of those fussy shivers I felt before melted into the sofa. His kiss defused any anxiety I had before this moment. But still, I felt frozen under his warm touch. I had forgotten how to kiss, yet I ended up following his lead. His large, rough hands moved to my dainty cheek, and soon his fingers were running through my red hair. My hands found their way to his broad, hulky chest, moving over his shoulders, locking my arms around his thick neck. I tangle my small fingers into his fine curls. Our lips parted and clashed like waves running up to the sandy seashore. I awaited the excruciating sting of reality when I woke up to the morning light. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to dream a little bit more, but the morning light never came. I except to awake up on the pull out sofa, alone, as Harry slept in the bedroom, but it would seem I was wrong. Harry was with me. Our lips were locked together, like I had always dreamed.
We parted, resting our foreheads against one another.
"I've wanted to do that for so long," I admitted.
"You don't even know," he replied, stroking my left cheek with the back of his hand.
"You're lying,"
"I never lie," his breath his my lips as we sat there in our closeness. He rested another kiss upon my lips. This one was quick and reassuring. "Merry Christmas," he said once more before I impulsively crashed my lips against his another time, allow his to sink into mine.

Notes