This is why I don't drink. My head is pounding and I feel more sick than I did when I had the flu last year. I don't even know how I got here, but I woke up in my own bed. The last thing I remember from last night was seeing Harry when he and the guys came over.

I sit up when my splitting headache prevents me from falling back asleep, and practically wake up the entire world with my scream.

Harry is sitting in the chair in the corner of my room, sleeping.

"What the hell are you doing here!" I yell and he quickly wakes up. He ignores my question and rubs his eyes before sitting up.

"I brought you home." He finally answers with the sleep still evident in his voice.

"Why are you still here?" I question. I'm still mad at him, but I also have no idea what happened last night. I hope I didn't act like too pathetic when he came over.

"Your mum came home after I got you up here, so I didn't want to get caught if I tried to leave." He shrugs. At least he didn't try to sleep with me.

I begin to get out of bed and realize that he must've helped me change out of my jeans and shirt last night because I'm now in my sweats. He can't tell me he doesn't want me to love him when he makes it so easy.

"How are you feeling?" He asks referring to my hangover.

"Like death." I say as I rub my temples trying to find any relief. I knew drinking that much would be a terrible idea, but at least it helped me forget everything for a little while.

"Here," he stands up and hands me a glass of water and a Advil that were sitting on my nightstand. I gladly take it from him and quickly swallow the pill.

"Crap!" I yell when I see the alarm clock as I set the glass back down. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier! We're late for school!" Now I'm mad again.

I quickly run to my closet to pull out a sweater and some jeans before making my way to the bathroom. I need to take a shower to wash the scent of alcohol from my body.

"I'm sorry I thought you should get some sleep." He stops me. "Don't be mad."

"Harry! You know I hate missing school!" I huff. My mind is going crazy between the hangover, Harry and I's discussion yesterday, and the fact that he's here right now. I don't need to miss school to add to that.

"Addie, I'm sorry. You drank a lot last night, you needed to sleep." Why does he all of sudden care about me again? His mood swings are giving me whiplash.

"You should go Harry." I simply say and continue to make my way towards the bathroom.

When I get in the shower, I turn the faucet as far the the left as I can. I welcome the burning hot water hoping it will melt away all of my confusion and doubts.

I hate that after I said those three words, he was fine. Sure, he didn't say them back, but he acted normal. Then at school he was fine until he didn't show up to class, and he blew up on me after school. I don't know what his deal is, but I can't keep doing this back and forth. If he really just doesn't want me to love him because he truly is afraid that he'll hurt me, than I need to get through to him. But if he just doesn't want anything more than what we are now, I need to stop seeing Harry.

Once I realize I've spent too much time in the shower, I rinse out the shampoo quickly and rush to get changed. I braid my hair and apply a little eye makeup so I don't look as miserable as I feel and run downstairs.

Crap. I'm going to have to walk to school.

Or not.

"Are you ready?" Harry stands up from the front step when I get outside. I guess he waited for me.

"Have you been sitting here this whole time?" I ask, but he obviously has so I don't know why I did.

"Yeah.. I just figured you would need a ride." He rubs the back of his neck apprehensively. It's killing me that we haven't even talked about everything that happened yesterday, but right now I just need to get to school.

"We should probably go then, we're already late enough." I say without looking at him and walk over to his car. He follows suit without another word, and for that I am thankful. I feel like I'm going to blow up at any moment.

"Addie, can we talk?" He says once we both have our seat belts buckled and the car is turned on. I guess I spoke too soon.

"Can it wait? I need to get to school."

"Dammit, Adelaide! You can miss one fucking day of school, would you just listen to me!" He yells. I'm completely shocked at his reaction even though it's not the first time he's acted like this. I guess because he's been so calm this morning, I was hoping he would remain that way.

I fold my arms across my chest and wait for him to say something. His eyes burn into the side of my face when I refuse to look at him, I just keep looking out the front windshield. If I look at him, I know I'll break down. I'm already fighting the tears in my eyes.

"I'm sorry okay! I didn't know you felt that way about me, otherwise.." He stops himself and I'm glad. I don't think I want to know what he would've said. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings yesterday, I just got confused and I don't know..." He sighs.

"Will you say something?" He pleads, his harsh tone has diminished.

"I've said everything I wanted to say, Harry. You didn't listen to me then, so I'm not wasting my time again."

"I did listen to you Addie, I just fucked up okay! I shouldn't have yelled at you, but what I said was the truth, you can't love me. If you hadn't noticed, I fuck up all the time, and I can never make you happy. I don't want you to keep getting hurt because of me."

"If you really listened, than you would remember me saying you won't! Harry, you do make me happy, why can't you see that? I wouldn't be telling you I loved you if you don't." I tell him. I feel like we just keep going in circles. He'll never get it through his head that he might actually make someone happy.

"I just can't do it, Addie. I can't give you the hearts and flowers you're looking for. That's not me." He shakes his head. "This is already hard enough as it is. You deserve more than I can give you."

My heart breaks into a million pieces for him thinking like this. I'll never be able to get through to him, will I?

"I just need you to try, Harry. I obviously said I loved you for a reason. I'm happy when I'm with you. You've given me more than you know, stop thinking youre not good enough." I try to explain. My anger melts away, but is replaced with sadness. Seeing Harry so vulnerable kills me. I feel like this is all my fault.

I sigh when he doesn't make any attempt to respond. "Can we just go back to the way things were before? I'm sorry I messed this up, but I'm willing to forget about I even said it if we can just move on." I decide. I love him enough to pretend like I don't for the sake of our relationship.

"You're not going to be mad?" I was hoping for a different reaction, but at least he's talking.

"No." Maybe a little disappointed.. "We should get to school." I remind him and look back out the window, but his eyes remain on me for a few seconds.

"Addie, I'm sorry." He forces me to look at him by my chin. "I want you to love me, I really do, I just-"

"It's okay." I cut him off and force a smile.

He caresses my face and stares into my eyes for a moment before kissing me. His mouth moves slowly, but there's a sense of desperation in the movements. I can't deny that I've missed this.

"I should get you to school now," he says against my lips before kissing me quickly once more. He begins to drive and I remain silent. I'm exhausted and emotionally drained. I hope things will go back to normal.

"I'm going to try Addie, just give me some time.. Don't give up on me." Harry whispers. He takes my hand and squeezes it, giving me an immense amount of comfort. I think that was all I needed to hear.

It's very simple... I want Harry to love me, I need him to love me. The problem is, I'm not sure if he's capable of loving someone else. Why does he feel like he is undeserving of my love? How could he feel like that? If anything, this discussion has only made me love him more. Despite the fact that I told him I would forget that I said it, I have decided that I will do whatever it takes to get him to understand that he is deserving of my love.

Notes

If you all comment & rate like crazy, I'll update again later tonight! :)