Am i good enough? (MA 18+)

I arrived at home feeling tired and exhausted. The work isn't hard but having to stand up the whole day is pretty tiring. i let out a sigh-groan when i plopped on to the couch.
i rested my head back and closed my eyes. i got a sudden flash back of me and Mark.
The way we were,so in love so happy so inseparable , so meant for each other but it all went down the drain. Now i am changed i am more strong i have learned to be independent i have learned to love myself and hope for the best.It is hurts so much every time i think about him in anyway.It is like a slap in the face.

I opened my eyes and wiped my tears.My phone buzzed in my bag i quickly grabbed it hoping it was Danielle.

Danielle: Hey! coffee tomorrow? p.s my friend is coming too hope it is ok with you xx

Me: Tomorrow will be perfect ! of course she can i would love to meet her ox :)

i pressed send. Her sudden desire to hang out with me was quite surprising. It also kind of got me excited cause she is kinda my friend and i have never had any 'real' friends.
i got the urge to look at my wrist because when ever i looked at them it would remind me of the people who did it. I have never been able to tell anyone.

I changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I made some noddles because i didn't have time to prepare anything fancy. After eating my noddles i got ready for bed.
My duvet was cold and soft just like i love. i twirl one of my legs with the duvet a habbit that i don't know where i got from.
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I woke in the morning with a fresh feeling. I was excited to meet the girls.
I blow dried my hair after getting out of the shower.Then put on my shorts and a white tank top that exposed my stomach i wanted to go like that but the weather was getting a little chilli and i didn't want to freeze so i grabbed a red cardigan.
Danielle told me to she will be sitting in a table inside the coffee so i went inside they were still not in there. So i decided i will go and sit by and wait for them.

10minutes later

Danielle's POV

"She must be inside." Eleanor pointed out.
"Thank you Captain obvious." i smiled

She playfully hit me on the arm. i saw Alex sitting down on of the tables looking outside, with her phone in front of her.

"Alex !" i screamed once we reached the table.
"Oh hi." she seemed nervous.

Eleanor gave her a hug like mine but tighter.Alex didn't seem to mind it at all.

We ordered our coffee and chatted about our adventures and ex boyfriends and future studies,just what ever came to mind.
"so tell us about your past boyfriends?" Eleanor asked Alex
Alex didn't seem interested about the topic because of the way she suddenly changed the topic i felt her uneasiness.

Alex's POV
Should i tell them ? should i not. My mind was going crazy. i wanted to tell them so they know i am not hiding anything. I don't all this feels weird.

"Well i have only dated one person my whole life." I answered Eleanor.

"really?" Danielle and Eleanor said at the same time

"Well,um...he is...his name is Mark.Mark Davis." Both Dani and Eleanor gasped at the same time.

"Oh my god ! you dated Mark Davis" Danielle questioned

"yes i did. but now it doesn't really matter.....like..i..i..don't..like."i stuttered
Of course it mattered he is the only person i would turn straight the only guy i ever loved but also the only guy who made me hate guys.

"What do you mean?" Eleanor asked looking right into my eyes

i twirled the spoon in my finger and tried my best avoid eye contact it always make me nervous.

"I am bi." i finally gave in.

Eleanor and Danielle's expression was blank. i knew i shouldn't have told them this is was a bad idea this is a bad idea. I was getting nervous why are they so blank.

"Relax, we don't mind if you have a crush on us" Eleanor winked at me

"To be quite honest with you that shorts really brings out the legs " Eleanor purposely licked her lips
i couldn't help but laugh at how seductive that was for a straight girl.
"El,stop it" Danielle elbowed her

Eleanor's Eyes widened when she looked behind me. Danielle gave out a slight gasp.

"Alex, you might wanna.." The words came out of Danielle mouth slowly.

"See this." Eleanor finished.

"what's....is....it"i slowly turned around.

Are you fucking kidding me right now! Really!


why him?

Notes

please give me some feed back !! enjoy