‘HELLO?’ I heard a voice pierce through my sleepy haze and felt my eyes flicker open. I opened my eyes slowly trying to get my bearings through my pounding head and drowsiness. I scanned the room I was in disorientated. I wasn’t in my room… I wasn’t in my bed… oh, shit! I glanced beside me and saw a topless body next to me facing away from me.

‘NICK!!!??’ I heard the voice bellow. Nick? Ohhh, Nick. Thank fuck for that.

I kicked the body next to me, ‘Grimshaw… you’re wanted.’

He raised his head from the pillow, his hair everywhere and his eyes red rimmed eyes rolled open clearly struggling from the amount we’d drunk.

‘GRIM!!!!’ I heard the person roar again, me and Nick both winced at the sound.

‘Fuck off!’ He croaked loudly.

I moved to a sitting position slowly so my legs were hanging over the bed resting on the carpeted floor. I was only in my underwear, my clothes were scattered across the room amongst Nick’s. My knees were shaking slightly as my vision dipped in and out of clarity. The door was flung open and a guy about my age barged into the room, his brown hair didn’t move at all despite his energetic movements making me wonder whether it was actually a wig.

‘Mate, you won’t guess what’s in your kitchen…’ He started before stopping abruptly when he saw me. ‘What the fuck? You know I support you no matter what Grim but I could’ve sworn you were gay yesterday…and the day before… and the day before...’

‘Don’t you worry, Styles, I’m still as gay as you are posh.’ He interrupted raising his head from the sheets once more to reassure his friend.

‘Then who the fuck is she?’

‘Excuse me?’ I exclaimed shocked. ‘She is right here and she is his best friend. The better question is who the fuck are you interrupting our sleep?’

‘Number 1: You still haven’t answered my question. Number 2: I live here. Number 3: I’m Harry Styles.’ He replied raising an eyebrow at my tone.

‘Should that mean something to me?’ I questioned clueless as he stared at me clearly expecting a reaction.

He opened his mouth like a fish and then closed it clearly a bit shocked at my lack of recognition but I just stared at him nonchalantly in the way as if to ask what the hell he wanted me to say.

‘Harry, this is Alexandra Harvey. Ali, this is Harry Styles. You’re both my friends, you’re both famous, you’re both in my house.’ Nick introduced us before burying his head back into the pillows. ‘I think that covers introductions…Now fuck off and let me wallow in my self-pity in peace.’

I rolled my eyes at his melodramatic tone and stood up in only my underwear. Harry’s eyes gravitated to my boobs where they stayed until I grabbed Nick’s t-shirt and pulled it over my head covering them at which he shook his head as if to compose himself.

‘Seriously, what is up with men’s fascination with boobs?’ I walked past him and out of the door bumping his chest arrogantly.

‘Aren’t you going to put on some shorts or something?’ He called down the corridor as I headed for the stairs.

‘Nope.’ I skipped down the stairs before spinning around on the last one to face him. He was about two steps higher than me and with that advantage he was more than a foot taller than me. I smiled and leant towards him seductively. ‘Why? Does it bother you?’

He shook his head quickly, leaning into me gently lowering his head to mine.

‘Well, good, because I hate wearing trousers so you better get used to it… roomie.’ I grinned at his astonished expression and turned to jog down the corridor to the kitchen, leaving Harry frozen at the bottom of the stairs.

I skipped childishly into the kitchen only to be confronted by a room full of people staring at my half-dressed, dishevelled appearance. I felt my cheeks redden slightly before I snapped my legs together trying to gather what was left of my dignity. There were three girls and two boys all scattered around holding mugs of hot drinks, bowels of cereal and toast.

‘Hi.’ I raised my hand in a jokey salute.

‘Ali Harvey… well I wasn’t expecting to see you again.’ A girl chuckled at me as she returned my greeting, she looked really familiar but I couldn’t place how I knew her. My face clearly said it all because she started to laugh louder, ‘You don’t remember me do you?

‘Have I slept with you?’ I joked receiving a few chuckles before grabbing glasses from the counter and heading to the fridge to get a drink.

‘No but I’m not surprised you don’t. You were off your face when we last met.’ She explained.

‘Sounds like me.’ I accepted.

‘Anyway, we crashed here last night after our friend's club opening, sorry, Nick didn't mention you'd be here, but then again you know Grim. I’m Hammy.’ She introduced herself before gesturing to the others. ‘That’s Fran and the blonde’s Daisy. Then that’s Ed and the other one looking dead at at the table is Greg.’

‘Right well, nice to meet you all. I’m Ali.’ I said before grabbing the open bottle of white wine from the fridge.

‘I told you, you might want to wear shorts.’ I heard a voice behind me say.

I rolled my eyes at Harry, ‘And deny myself the chance to tease you, Styles? Never.’

‘Ha, in your dreams, Harvey.’ He scoffed.

‘Not even in my dreams, Styles.’ I shot him down.

‘What is your problem?’

‘I just don’t like you.’

‘You don’t know me.’

‘Actually I know hundreds of you! Half the guys in my life are like you. typical famous jerks who are so up themselves that they believe that they really are the centre of the universe.'

'Fuck off, I'm not like that. You're just jealous of my success and angry that I don't like you!'

'The only reason you don't like me is because you're not used to girls not falling on their knees in front of you begging you for them to give you a blowjob when they first meet you. ’

‘That sounds like jealously to me.’

‘Jealousy?! Oh my god, you’re deluded! News flash: just because you’re famous does not mean you can be an ass!!’

‘You’re just insecure and upset that I don’t find you as attractive as you think you are…’

‘Look boy-band, to be honest I don’t give a flying fuck about your opinion because you don’t mean fuck all to me and you probably never will.’ I finished putting my hands on my hips and raising an eyebrow sassily just to piss him off more.

‘Let it go, mate.’ Ed laughed and patted Harry on the back. ‘You’re being a dick and I feel like this chick wouldn’t be afraid to hit you.’

‘Yeah, I’d listen to your boyfriend if I were you, Harry.’ I grinned, rubbing salt into the wound a little more.

‘Oh, just fuck off, Harvey! You know you’re…’ He started before being cut off by a massive shape launching itself from the living room into the kitchen straight at me.

Everyone jumped and stared at the Mastiff running towards me excitedly. I quickly put the glasses and wine bottle on the counter to catch Vinnie as he jumped into my arms.

‘Hey baby, how is my boy doing?’ I cooed as I rubbed his head grinning at his furry face. He licked my chin and I put him onto the floor. Ever since he was a puppy he’d loved to be carried around so as he became bigger and bigger it had become my daily workout. But I can’t say it wasn’t difficult to lift an animal heavier than myself.

‘What the hell is that?’ Harry questioned.

‘That is Vinnie.’ I said crouching to scratch behind his ear.

‘What is he a bear?’ He exclaimed still hovering awkwardly as if unsure what to do.

‘No he’s my dog.’

‘Aw, he’s so cute.’ Daisy said wandering over to Vinnie to stroke him with Fran whereas
Hammy was slightly more apprehensive and she stayed back with Ed and Harry whereas Greg stayed at the kitchen table motionless, he looked so hungover he didn’t actually acknowledge me or Vinnie.

I stood up and wandered back to the cupboard to grab three shot glasses and the bottle of vodka me and Grimmy had started on last night. I heard stomping from upstairs and then a crash as he walked into something.

‘Can you go make sure 1. he’s wearing clothes 2. doesn’t fall down the stairs?’I asked Hammy.

She nodded and wandered down the corridor.

I grabbed the blender off the side and put in on the counter in front of me.

‘What are you doing?’ Ed asked sitting down on a stool at the island as I cracked three eggs into the blender.

‘Saving Greg, Nick and I from a horrible day.’ I replied just as Grimmy entered the kitchen being supported by Hammy.

He sat down in front of me and croaked out, ‘I hate you. Help me escape from what you’ve done to me.’

I rolled my eyes and kissed his forehead, ‘I got you honey.’

The eggs were quickly joined by half a pint of milk, orange juice, tabasco, wine and some salt along with some cinnamon and lime before I poured some water on top of it. Everyone watched me disgusted at my concoction. I quickly turned on the blender and went looking for Coca Cola and Sprite. After I’d found what I needed, I poured three glasses of Coke and put them in the sun waiting for them to go flat. I stopped the blender and poured in a pint of sprite into the oatmeal coloured liquid before restarting the blender. I poured three shot glasses of vodka and laid them out behind the three glasses of flat coke. I stopped the blender and poured out three medium glasses of the liquid.

‘That is disgusting.’ Fran said as Hammy gagged slightly as I poured it out.

‘Greg, come over here.’ I called lowly to him.

‘You’re not seriously going to drink that are you?’ Harry questioned but Nick shushed him.

Daisy helped him up and led him to sit in front of the row of glasses I’d created for him.

‘Ok, do it quick as possible and don’t pause to long between drinks.’ I instructed.

‘It’s the first one that gets you.’ Nick groaned dreading my hangover cure as much as I was.

‘Yep, but if we want to survive the day… this really is the only way we can do it.’

He nodded sadly and placed his hand around the first drink. ‘Ready?’
Greg and I nodded.

‘One, two…’ he paused and took a deep breath. ‘Three.’

We all slammed the glass to our lips and started chugging the gag worthy drink. I finally got to the bottom slightly before the others before I turned to the coke which I immediately threw back. Nick spluttered next to me but still kept chugging the coke. Greg finished the coke with us and we all grabbed the shot of vodka at the same time slamming that back before collapsing in exhaustion.

‘Is it weird that I want to clap that?’ I heard Ed say.

Notes

Btw: This recipe is not a real recipe to cure hangovers I made it up.
Please do not use it- you have been warned.