Samantha's pov

after that night ended the perfect night. i headed to my room with the rest of the girls and sighed Hanah had to go but Alex was still with me. once we got into the room we were squeling at the top of our lungs "GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS" i screamed at Alex. she hed her face and then feel asleep "really" i whispered dude this girl could sleep anywhere any time. but then a feeling i got that i hadnt gotten for awhile hit me. i thought it was gone forever but no it was back. i feel into my bed and got out my phone to see someone sent me a picture. i looked at it and it was all the hate i was getting. it read "see im not the only one who hates you there are MANY more" i checked who it was from i saw and my breath was takin away and i started crying it was ..... my sister. i put my phone away after turning it off. no one online who was my friends liked me any more. not ry or jeff or anyone let alone alic i dont know what i did but just like in my worst nightmares they hate me. i then got up and did something i havent done in years after i almost let myself die. i grabbed the closest thing with a blade and cut. blood came poring out of my arm and a great satisfaction over came me.i felt momentarily better from that one cut but one wasnt enough so i did 7 then left the knife there with my blood on it and feel into a deep restless sleep. i woke up to alex shaking me "SAMANTHA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS" she yelled pointing to my arm. "nothing never mind you dont need to know" she picked up the knife spit on it and threw it in the trash "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN" she screamed storming out. my vision was getting blury i looked around me to see a huge puddle of blood. "oh shit i didnt start again" i got up and put a rap around my arm like i used to. i grabbed my phone and turned it on and saw what has caused my cutting. i deleted that message and blocked my sister than went on my old G+ account which was +Amanda "Diana" Cat (thats mine right now) and i saw that ry and jeff and all of my friends didnt notice me not being on for a month. i sighed and shock my head MAN this is going to be one hell of a day. then i checkd my notifications to see that niall made a post saying that he loved me and that i was his girlfriend i looked threw the comments for the final reveal we had never told anyone and there was SO much hate. but the rest of the lads stood up for me which made me smile they cared. but once i got breakfast i saw someone id rather not have ever saw .......

Notes

guys please NEVER EVER cut it ruined my life (yes im depressed thats why im good at righting this but i have allot of people helping me threw righting this chapter cause they know its hard for me) if you ever and i mean EVER need someone im here yes that G+ account is my current account and yes the people i named are some of my best friends but i have about 2 more i didnt put down. hey if u r jeff or ry or alic love you guys like ur my own brother and sisters :) (oh btw u can message me if you want to also :) )
love yall with all my heart <3
Amanda