She's Not Afraid
Chapter 20
"But how come she's so afraid to fall in love?" Charlotte POV:
Love sounds so unreal to me, its too good to be true. I would like to be in love with someone with all my heart, but i'm just too afraid to do so. If I fall, what if no ones there to catch me? Philophobia is the fear of falling in love or the fear of getting emotionally attached to someone that leads to expectations that most often end in disappointment. Maybe I am afraid of falling someone or maybe i'm afraid or getting hurt.
I'm too bothered in my thoughts to notice Louis is waking up beside me, "Good morning angel." His voice is deep and groggy. He sits up pecking a kiss on my cheek, when he realizes he gets no reaction from me, he looks concerned.
"Did I do something wrong beautiful?"
"You seriously don't remember a thing?"
"Remember what?"
I shake my head, looking down a my wrists then back at him, my eyes fill up in tears.
"Oh god, I did this didn't I?-" Louis says sadness evident in his voice, he seems disgusted in what he did. "-I'm so sorry baby, i'm a monster, I hurt you, I'm so sorry." his voice cracked slightly, It was then I realized he was crying, his hands covering his face, to wipe the tears.
I reached over wrapping my arms around him, breathing deeply. "I forgive you, its okay Lou, you were drunk it isn't your fault."
"No Charlotte, I can't live with myself with the thought of hurting of you again. You need to stay away from me for awhile, We need space." He pulls away, "Please just go."
"Lou please, don't shut me out."
"Go."
Before I could reply back, a voice appeared on the intercom. 'We will beginning to land, please remain seated, and fasten your seat belts.'
I plop down in my seat beside Louis buckling my seat belt, I open my mouth to protest his remark to 'go', but he interrupted. "I know your too good for me, but i'm too selfish to let you go char, I know I have to but I just can't."
"No, you can't just give up when things get complicated."
"Why not?" He looks into my eyes, and my heartbeat races instantly.
"Because I-" I gulp back the fear in throat. "-I don't want to let you go.. I want to be with you."
He presses his hands to my cheeks, I close my eyes as his lips press to mine for a brief moment. When he pulls away, He speaks quietly to me, "I'm so sorry, but I have to let you go, and keep this for business. I fell in too deep and now I need some space to think about an 'us'. "
My face gets hot as I feel tears stream down my face. Is this really the end for us? I nod sadly unable to speak. I grasp his hand, resting my head on his shoulder. Not wanting to say goodbye. I wanted him to fight for us. But maybe this is for the best.. only time will tell.
Minutes that feel like seconds pass, and We arrive In London. We are began to be told to make our way off the plane. Louis gives my hand a tight squeeze, before his warmth disappears. As he waves goodbye, I feel like he takes a piece of me with him.
Love sounds so unreal to me, its too good to be true. I would like to be in love with someone with all my heart, but i'm just too afraid to do so. If I fall, what if no ones there to catch me? Philophobia is the fear of falling in love or the fear of getting emotionally attached to someone that leads to expectations that most often end in disappointment. Maybe I am afraid of falling someone or maybe i'm afraid or getting hurt.
I'm too bothered in my thoughts to notice Louis is waking up beside me, "Good morning angel." His voice is deep and groggy. He sits up pecking a kiss on my cheek, when he realizes he gets no reaction from me, he looks concerned.
"Did I do something wrong beautiful?"
"You seriously don't remember a thing?"
"Remember what?"
I shake my head, looking down a my wrists then back at him, my eyes fill up in tears.
"Oh god, I did this didn't I?-" Louis says sadness evident in his voice, he seems disgusted in what he did. "-I'm so sorry baby, i'm a monster, I hurt you, I'm so sorry." his voice cracked slightly, It was then I realized he was crying, his hands covering his face, to wipe the tears.
I reached over wrapping my arms around him, breathing deeply. "I forgive you, its okay Lou, you were drunk it isn't your fault."
"No Charlotte, I can't live with myself with the thought of hurting of you again. You need to stay away from me for awhile, We need space." He pulls away, "Please just go."
"Lou please, don't shut me out."
"Go."
Before I could reply back, a voice appeared on the intercom. 'We will beginning to land, please remain seated, and fasten your seat belts.'
I plop down in my seat beside Louis buckling my seat belt, I open my mouth to protest his remark to 'go', but he interrupted. "I know your too good for me, but i'm too selfish to let you go char, I know I have to but I just can't."
"No, you can't just give up when things get complicated."
"Why not?" He looks into my eyes, and my heartbeat races instantly.
"Because I-" I gulp back the fear in throat. "-I don't want to let you go.. I want to be with you."
He presses his hands to my cheeks, I close my eyes as his lips press to mine for a brief moment. When he pulls away, He speaks quietly to me, "I'm so sorry, but I have to let you go, and keep this for business. I fell in too deep and now I need some space to think about an 'us'. "
My face gets hot as I feel tears stream down my face. Is this really the end for us? I nod sadly unable to speak. I grasp his hand, resting my head on his shoulder. Not wanting to say goodbye. I wanted him to fight for us. But maybe this is for the best.. only time will tell.
Minutes that feel like seconds pass, and We arrive In London. We are began to be told to make our way off the plane. Louis gives my hand a tight squeeze, before his warmth disappears. As he waves goodbye, I feel like he takes a piece of me with him.
Notes
Updated, Hope you enjoyed the chapter, even though it was a bit short and sad. But I have a surprise and good news, Guess who took the the time to write out 3 more chapters in advance? Me. :) Ill be posting them asap. I would love to read more of your guys feedback, A special thanks to Mimi_Bell, Your like amazing and a true motivator for me to continue writing.Please Comment,Vote,Subscribe,Rate!
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What day a week will you be posting just so we know it's fine if you take a week but I would like to know
1/11/15