Where do I begin? Alright... The first time I saw him... That would be back on the XFactor auditions, who could not notice that curly-haired boy with and absolut perfect and even a little flirty smile. He sang beautifly and I sucked a little bit but we both got in.

And boom! Next thing I know is that I've been dragged into a band along with four other guys, including the curly boy. This was an idea from the judges of the show including of course the oppinion on Simon Cowell, we recieved the new all together and honestly the only thing I could think of was getting to know the other guys. Their names are, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Harry Styles... the curly. As soon as we stared to hang out we immediatly knew that it was going to be awesome, we got along so well but Harry and I made "click" and he became my best mate really soon, with him it was different from the other guys, we really became too close.

Everything was perfect, hanging out with the guys, singing and the band... One Direction. We got on Tour really quickly and things were just following their natural course, we all got to be best mates and loved each other like brothers, although my relation with Harry was different and we were so comfortable with each other that we even bought a place together back in London where the other guys had places too.

But when I first met Harry I knew there was something different about him, it was also like If I liked him... but that couldn't be it, right? I mean... I've always liked girls... Or so I thought, and this thinking became more often when we moved to live together.

Whenever we didn't had any appointments we just liked to stay in house and relax and I coulnd't avoid to feel something weird when I saw Harry shirtless, he was soooooo perfect! Wait...
what? Did I just think a guy looks... hot?

Things up on my head stared to get very confusing and my feelings started too making me nervous... I was actually feeling things for Harry, and everytime we touched (wich was often) I just felt an electric shot all over my spine. What was I feeling? Is this real? I'm I actually having feelings for another guy? What's going on with you Louis Tomlinson?

And then one night... things just got out of my control... We were watching a movie and relaxing on the sofa and I just couldn't stand lying there and not touching Harry as I wanted too, not in a joke way... but an actually real way, and I was so deep into my thoughts that I didn't realized that I was staring at the window.


-Are you alright?- Harry asked when he saw me not paying attention to the movie, well deep into my thoughts.
-Why wouldn't I be?- I smiled, I could never lie and this was an actuall true, or half of it.
-You just seemed far- Harry said turning his face to the t.v again.
-Well, I can get close if that's what you want- I joked and huged Harry real close wich made me shiver a little...
He giggled and hugged me too.

-Jajaja that's not what I meant Lou- He said smiling showing his lovely dimples.
-Oh... Sorry! jajaja- I laughed too and look straight to him.
-What?- He asked changing the look on his face from happy to worry.
-Nothing...- I said in a whisper not really knowing what to say and when I tried to look away he surprised me putting a finger on my chin not letting me turn away and stared at me.
-Lou... what's wrong?- He asked with concern in his voice and I couldn't resist to those deep eyes that seemed to know everything about me.
-Really, nothing!- I eagerly joked but he just looked at me with more intensity and I was about to loose it, he was really making me nervous...

And what I did just made things even more confusing for my feelings and thoughts..

-Shit...- I whispered and closed my eyes, I was trembling a little but I got the courage to raise my head to his and kiss him softly on the lips, I immediatly sensed the surprise and shock on his posture but he didn't pulled me away as I expected him to, in fact he just answered to my kiss. We nervously kissed each other and parted after a few minutes.
I set aside a little to see the expression on his face, but instead of shock and fear, he was showing cool and calm.

-Better?- He asked me when he saw the expression on my face... I was surprised that the kid just looked like nothing happened...
-You're... not mad?- I asked with both surprise and shock in my voice.
-Why would I be?- He answered just like I did a few minutes ago but he was actually smiling.
-Then... you... I mean...- I couldn't even imagine what was going on the head of the curly.
-I been waiting for this Louis...- He said looking at me but with trembling voice.
-You... what?-
-I've always liked you... and I've known for a while that you like me too... I was just waiting for you to notice- He explained a little embarrassed.
-Harry... I like you too...- I said not really paying attention that he already made the statement.
-I'm glad that you finally noticed Lou...- He said and his eyes began to fill with tears.

I just hugged him carefully and smilled, he hugged me aswell and stayed like that for a few
minutes.

-Does this... makes us like... ummmm...-
-Exclusive?- He finished -If you want...- He answered nervously but clearly showing that he did wanted.
-Ummm... yeah- I said with a smile and he smiled back showing his very lovely dimples.

He hugged me even tighter and I just kept smiling, holding him close to me, never wanting that moment to end.


I open my eyes and it's the same hospital room with the same sheets and same bed, the nurse just got back to the station and I looked out to the window, it is a lovely winter day, middle of december and close to my birthday. Looking at those trees all covered with snow, I couldn't help but imagine Harry fooling around, throwing snowballs and making snow angels, and I feel tears coming up.

It's been two years since Harry left me... and I haven't been capable to adjust to the idea that my Curly was gone... He died peacefully on the bed back in our house, and I'm glad he didn't suffered but... what about me? I am suffering...
I'm turning 80 in almost a week and the idea of having another birthday without my love just makes me even sadder... The saddness mixed up with a stroke where the things that put me on a hospital bed making it the fourth time since Harry died, I've always been a healthy person but without my curly I just see pointless the idea of living.


The nurse comes back to check on me and smiles at me gently, she wants me to have some
rest and wants to take my notebook away... I'm glad that I could remember everything about our first kiss after the clouds began to fill my head again. I look at the window one more time but this time I see us both playing on the snow, Harry with his curly hair, tight back jeans and white coat, and me with a pair of red tight jeans, suspenders and a black coat. Both young as we were when first met... I close my eyes and the Moments song of One Direction starts to sound on my head and I imagine us both cuddling on the sofa of our place when I feel tears coming up and the last scene of our lives in my head is that kiss that Harry gave me the first time we made love...

Everything around me feels warm and a bright light blinds me for a moment, all I can see is a bright light and when I can adjust my sight to the brightness I see him once more smiling at me and showing his dimples.
He giggles and I look at myself too and I'm young again...

-Louis...- He says opening his arms and I just run to him like theres no more time... but I realize that now we have an eternity in Heaven to Love Each Other.

Notes

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