Harry’s P.O.V
“No.” She said, her face shocked. I stopped mid-sentence, the one word strong enough to make my heart stop.
“I mean... I have to think about it, Harry. You can’t just come to me out of no where and expect me to just agree after you’ve been avoiding me, ignoring me and acting as if i, and my baby for that matter, even exists. Is that what you thought would happen? That i would just open my arms wide and act as if none of that happened? I can’t do that. I need time to think about it.” She said, sliding off the bed. I watched in silence as she rushed around her room, shoving her feet into her little grey boots and grabbing a jacket. She turned towards me, pushing her hair out of her face.
She was a beautiful mess. Her long dark hair hung around her hips, starting to wave and curl despite her efforts to keep it straight. Her cheeks were pink, her dark brown eyes shining with tears. I wiped at my face, just now realizing i was crying. I turned away from her, not wanting her to see me like this. My back stayed towards her as i held in the sob that was about to break loose. I don’t want her to see me like this. I heard her hesitate for a second before walking out of the room.
Once i heard the front door slam, i hopped off the bed, throwing a pillow against the wall. My face felt hot as i angrily pounded my fist into the soft mattress of her bed. I let out an angry yell at nothing in particular, just to get it out of my system. Once i was done beating up the mattress i collapsed on top of it, burying my face into the only pillow left on the bed. It smelt like her, sweet floral smell.
The sob i’ve been holding in finally broke loose as i wrapped my arms around the pillow, holding it close to me. How did this happen? Why did i let it come to this? I could have been here for her this entire time yet i chose to not be. Like an idiot. She’s carrying my baby and i’ve done absolutely nothing to help her.
When the realization of me about to have a baby kicked in, i kinda spaced out. I blew money i could have been spending on Nichole on booze, bringing home any and every girl that i could talk into it, which was quite a lot. There’s no telling what i’ve put Nichole through for the past three months because i decided to be a jerk.
Did i really expect her to just let me in? I’m not sure. I guess when i thought about all of this, i just pictured it like that. That she would just let me in, forgetting everything i’ve done to her. From the bullying to getting her pregnant up until now. That we would be the perfect, happy family when the baby was born. Man, was i wrong to think that.
I’m not really sure why i bullied Nichole like i did. Sure, i never laid hands n her, unlike Louis, who got full satisfaction of touching her. Of course, as soon as she was out of ear shot, i would cuss him up and down for hurting her, but i never fully stopped it. What i did to her was just as bad. I called her everything under the sun, knowing none of it was true.
She wasn’t a whore, i was the person she lost her v-card to. She wasn’t a bitch, she was probably one of the sweetest girls i’ve ever met. She definitely wasn’t ugly, she was stunningly gorgeous. I’ve always wanted to claim her as mine, to make her my own. But something stopped me from it. I just couldn’t bring myself out to say it.
I always thought she wouldn’t go for a guy like me. She just seemed to innocent, to sweet to go for anybody like me. And i hated her for making me feel that way. Yea, i know. It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t mean to, much less know what she was doing to me. Each and everything i’ve done to her was a choice i soberly made, things i’ve thought through. And every time, i chose to hurt her. I was wrong. I’ve made so many mistakes when it comes to her, i wouldn’t blame her if she told me she hated me and that she didn’t want me in her or the baby’s life.
I sniffled, my eyes finally shedding the last tear they held. I laid curled around her pillow for another hour until i heard foot steps coming down the hallway. I shot up, darting off the bed to the door. I turned the corner, hoping to find Nichole. My hopes dropped as i met Liam face to face. He took in my appearance and his eyes were sympathetic.
“She said no.” He mummered, waiting for my reply. I shook my head.
“She said yes?” He asked, clearly confused. I sighed, shaking my head again.
“Well, mate, then what DID she say?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at me. I sniffled again, wiping at my face.
“She said that she needed to think about it.” I said, my chest still aching. How could i manage to screw this up.
“She’ll come around, Haz. Just give her the time and space. She needs to think. Leave her alone about it and she will let you know when she’s ready.” Liam said, leaning up agains the wall. I shook my head.
“She hates me, Liam. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tells me she never wants to talk to me again. I’ve put her through so much, not even counting the baby.” I said, getting angry at myself all over again.
“She doesn’t hate you. I know that for a fact.” He said, his tone serious and sure.
“Wait, has she said anything about me to you, talked about me any?” I asked, my hopes rising a little. Liam shook his head.
“Not consciously. She hasn’t come out and said anything about you on purpose.” He said, looking at me. I’m confused now. Maybe my brian isn’t processing the words just right.
“She talks in her sleep, Harry. She needs you, she’s just to stubborn to come out and say it. She wants you around. She wants your help. Sure, she has me and the other boys but she really wants you. Just give her the time she needs and she will let you in. Until then, don’t fuck up.” Liam explained, shrugging one large shoulder before turning and walking away. I nodded my head, more to myself than to Liam.
If she needs time, then that’s what i’ll give her. I won’t bring it up again until she’s ready to give me a direct answer. But, until then, i won’t leave her side. I won’t screw this up anymore than i already have. Maybe i can fix this after all.

Notes

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