What You Call Love
C33
I sarcastically laughed when "my mom" said those words to me.
"Haha, you stopped being my mom when you disowned when I told you I was pregnant ... Remember?" I replied rudely to her. Her expression on her fact didn't change, all she did was roll her eyes like she didn't even care.
"That was like four years ago, get over it Taylor." She spat at me harshly. My eyes pricked with tears as memories or that day flashed through my head as if it was just yesterday.
"Now, let me in the house so I can see my granddaughter." She said, trying to move pass me but I instantly blocked her.
"No, remember when I came to your house and asked you if I could stay their because I needed a place to say but you said you weren't going to let your stupid pregnant 16 year old daughter live with you! Remember that Alice, because I do!" I yelled at her, but she didn't seem convinced yet, she just rolled her eyes and tried walking past me once again but instantly blocked her.
"Look Taylor, I deserve to see my grand daughter after a long time okay! I'm sorry about doing that to you but I couldn't raise a teen that was pregnant! I know what it feels like to be pregnant at 16 so I just couldn't handle it!" Is she fucking kidding me? I walked up into her face.
"Then you should know first hand how I felt. I had no one Alice and I needed you! I needed my mom to be there for me! But she wasn't, she left her 16 year old daughter to fend for herself." My voice cracked at the end.
I was just finally getting over what my mom did to me, but now she was to just pop up out of no where and enter mine and Ema's life again.
"Look Taylor, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I did okay! As a mother I had no right to do that to you and their is nothing I can say to justify what I did to you Taylor! But all I'm asking is to be apart of yours and Ema's life! Your sisters gone off to college, your brother is in the marines and I'm all alone! I have no one!" She was pleading at this point. It broke my heart to see her like this and to know she has no one but that's what the hell she gets, shed drove her whole family away by her attitude and her controlling self.
But I was going to be the bigger person today, I can't let the past complicate my future.
"Okay, you can come in." It took so much effort for those five words to exit my mouth. But I forced myself to say it. As much as I didn't want to, I had to. I watch as her eyes glowed up as I said those words to her. A large smile creep on her face, but it just irritated me so much more.
"Ar- are you serious?" She was acting like she won the lottery. To me, it was never that serious. I rolled my eyes as I forced my head to nodded up and down. I slowly opened the door to my house and walked in letting Alice walk in behind me.
The reason I call her Alice is because I don't consider her my mom anymore, I haven't for years now. As soon as we walked into the house, it was quiet.
Ema and Harry were still upstairs while my mom sat straight up on the couch and I walked into the kitchen, trying to finish the seasoning on the chicken I was making for dinner tonight.
The silence between me and Alice was very awkward since there was really nothing for us to talk about. I mean, I really didn't want her here and she probably doesn't care about how I've been or anything of that matter..
As soon as I finished seasoning the chicken I placed it into the oven so it could cook.. I preheated the oven to 350 as I started to prepare the salad for tonight's dinner.
"Can you get Ema darling? I wanna see my granddaughter now." My hands firmly grabbed the bowl in attempt to calm my temper down a little. I inhaled and exhaled out my mouth deeply and counted to five in my head. Once I turned around, I planted a fake smile on my face and walked to Alice.
"Sure.. Alice." I walked to the stairs and looked up as I began to yell for them.
"Harry, bring Ema down here please." I yelled upstairs. As I begin to hear footsteps I walked back to the kitchen to finish up dinner. I heard Alice mumble under something under her breath but I just let it go because I wasn't going to let her ruin my day.
As I begin to slice the lettuce I heard Alice's voice loudly.
"There's my grand baby!" She yelled cheerfully, I looked over at her as she held her arms out as Ema walked over to her, hesitantly.
Here we go...
I vented to Harry as he was behind me, zipping my dress up.
"I just can't believe she would just show up like this and ask to see Ema like she had the right too!" I said as I watched Harry through the bathroom mirror.
"I know. But why are you wearing a dress? It's just dinner." Harry replied. I sighed deeply as I turned around once Harry was done and fixed his shirt up.
"It's my mom remember. She always picks out every little thing about every little thing and I just want it to be perfect okay. I mean, I know we weren't on good terms, but as I watched her with Ema as I was cooking I thought to myself hey, maybe she has changed. But I want everything to be prefect for her. That's why I added a couple more side dishes then just salad." My hands ran down Harry's shirt as I finished buttoning the rest of his shirt up.
I reached my hand up to his head and shuffled his curls to the way I liked them.
"Looking good babe." I said, pecking Harry's lips. I was soon going to end with Terrell but I just don't know when.
"You too. But Taylor don't let her get to you okay? Just be the maturer person." He said, reassuring me. I took his hand into mine as we exited the bedroom and begun to walk down Stairs.
"Oh I know. She has three times to mess with me." We both walked downstairs hand and hand, to see Alice playing with Ema on the couch.
It actually made me happy to see that my life was starting to come together slowly, but it also hurt me that she missed out all because she wanted to be a "know it all" bitch.
"Okay, dinners ready!" I said cheerfully, walking into the kitchen and grabbing the plates. I laid three big plates onto the table and laid Ema's special plate where she always sits. Next to me.
Alice carried Ema into the kitchen and sat her in the seat that was sat up for her.. I walked into the kitchen and carried the food to the table to see everyone already sitting down, ready to eat but I instantly stopped when I saw Alice sitting in my seat, getting comfortable.
I immediately cleared my throat. Alice turned to me.
"Your sitting in my chair. And it's my turn to feed Ema tonight." I said the most politest way possible. Alice then turned back around and laid the napkin into her lap. She was always preppy like that.
"Oh Taylor. Sitting somewhere else just for one night won't hurt will it? I mean come on, it's just a seat for god sakes! Plus I wanna spend every possible moment I can with my little grand baby." My vision moved from her to Harry who was looking at me and mouthing to "let it go" me.
I took deep breaths and tired to calm myself down. I wasn't going to let her ruin my night.
"That's fine with me." I cheerfully said. My jaw clenched together as I forced myself not to say anything slick out my mouth to her.. I placed the food at the center of the table and walked back into the kitchen. I looked back at Harry who was already staring at me.
I walked back to the table and placed the cups on the table and poured sprite into all them. Once I was done. I sat down at the table next to Harry and across from Alice as the quietness between all of us became awkward until Ema shouted something.
"I hungry!" She said shooting her hands into the sky. I smiled ear to ear and laughed as I got up and poured Ema's food on her plate.
"Eat up."
I was quite as Harry and Alice talked about his career. That's all they seemed to be talking about since we've started eating and it was really annoying just hearing about the same stuff over and over again. But my attention moved to Alice when she called my name.
"Hmmm?" I said chewing my food.
"Where'd you get that dress from?" She said, looking at me. A small smile appeared on my face as the thought of her giving me the first compliment of the night right now.
"Oh um, H&M.. They have really good dresses th-"
"I don't like it." She instantly cut my off when she said those words to me. My hand tightly grasped around the fork in attempt to calm down but it wasn't working.. My blood boiled as I stared at her.. The woman that I once called my mother.
"You can probably see your ass." She mumbled under her breath. At that point, I was ready to curse her out but I soon calmed down when I felt Harry's hand connect with my thigh. I liked over at him as he looked at me shaking his head slightly up and down. He was telling me to calm down and let it go.
I took deep breathes and closed my eyes, letting my nerves calm down before I talked to her again.
"Strike one." I whispered into Harry's ear. He just looked at me as I pulled away and nodded his head up and down then continued eating..
"So, how's the food?" I say very nicely as I smiled and tried to forget about the subject we were just talking about. I watched as Alice stuck her finger up at me as she finished chewing her food. Once she finished eating, she wiped her mouth and looked at me.
"To be honest Taylor, it's missing to many things. It basically has no taste and it's very blare. It needs more Salt and pepper!" My hand fisted the table cloth as she went on and on about the food being nasty or needing more ingredients.
My face was probably red as a potato right now, but she angered me. She hasn't said nothing nice to me as she entered my house.
"And the chicken is too tuff and chewy! I thought I taught you how to cook better than this." She said making me more angrier then I already was. Right when I was about to go off and say something rude, Harry instantly cut me off.
"I think the foods wonderful. Best food I've had in a while actually." He said taking another bite of his food. I slightly giggled as I watched his cheek puff up because he had so much food in his mouth. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I just let it go what Harry has been directing me to do since she got here. But I didn't forget one thing..
Second strike.
As everyone begun to finish eating their food, I walked over and picked Ema up and held her in my arms as she wobbled her head because she was tired. I sat back down in my seat looking down and Ema and rocking her in my arms slowly humming her a little lullaby she likes.
"Isn't she beautiful?" I whispered to Alice and Harry as they witnessed Ema falling to sleep in her mommys arms. These were the calm moments that I loved. Just watching my little angel sleep in my arms.
"She's beautiful Taylor, but quick question...." My vision moved to her as I continued to rock Ema in my arms I gestured for her to go on with what she was saying. I watched closely as she took a deep breath and threw her napkin down on the table.
"Who's Ema's real father?" Strike three.
"Haha, you stopped being my mom when you disowned when I told you I was pregnant ... Remember?" I replied rudely to her. Her expression on her fact didn't change, all she did was roll her eyes like she didn't even care.
"That was like four years ago, get over it Taylor." She spat at me harshly. My eyes pricked with tears as memories or that day flashed through my head as if it was just yesterday.
"Now, let me in the house so I can see my granddaughter." She said, trying to move pass me but I instantly blocked her.
"No, remember when I came to your house and asked you if I could stay their because I needed a place to say but you said you weren't going to let your stupid pregnant 16 year old daughter live with you! Remember that Alice, because I do!" I yelled at her, but she didn't seem convinced yet, she just rolled her eyes and tried walking past me once again but instantly blocked her.
"Look Taylor, I deserve to see my grand daughter after a long time okay! I'm sorry about doing that to you but I couldn't raise a teen that was pregnant! I know what it feels like to be pregnant at 16 so I just couldn't handle it!" Is she fucking kidding me? I walked up into her face.
"Then you should know first hand how I felt. I had no one Alice and I needed you! I needed my mom to be there for me! But she wasn't, she left her 16 year old daughter to fend for herself." My voice cracked at the end.
I was just finally getting over what my mom did to me, but now she was to just pop up out of no where and enter mine and Ema's life again.
"Look Taylor, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for everything I did okay! As a mother I had no right to do that to you and their is nothing I can say to justify what I did to you Taylor! But all I'm asking is to be apart of yours and Ema's life! Your sisters gone off to college, your brother is in the marines and I'm all alone! I have no one!" She was pleading at this point. It broke my heart to see her like this and to know she has no one but that's what the hell she gets, shed drove her whole family away by her attitude and her controlling self.
But I was going to be the bigger person today, I can't let the past complicate my future.
"Okay, you can come in." It took so much effort for those five words to exit my mouth. But I forced myself to say it. As much as I didn't want to, I had to. I watch as her eyes glowed up as I said those words to her. A large smile creep on her face, but it just irritated me so much more.
"Ar- are you serious?" She was acting like she won the lottery. To me, it was never that serious. I rolled my eyes as I forced my head to nodded up and down. I slowly opened the door to my house and walked in letting Alice walk in behind me.
The reason I call her Alice is because I don't consider her my mom anymore, I haven't for years now. As soon as we walked into the house, it was quiet.
Ema and Harry were still upstairs while my mom sat straight up on the couch and I walked into the kitchen, trying to finish the seasoning on the chicken I was making for dinner tonight.
The silence between me and Alice was very awkward since there was really nothing for us to talk about. I mean, I really didn't want her here and she probably doesn't care about how I've been or anything of that matter..
As soon as I finished seasoning the chicken I placed it into the oven so it could cook.. I preheated the oven to 350 as I started to prepare the salad for tonight's dinner.
"Can you get Ema darling? I wanna see my granddaughter now." My hands firmly grabbed the bowl in attempt to calm my temper down a little. I inhaled and exhaled out my mouth deeply and counted to five in my head. Once I turned around, I planted a fake smile on my face and walked to Alice.
"Sure.. Alice." I walked to the stairs and looked up as I began to yell for them.
"Harry, bring Ema down here please." I yelled upstairs. As I begin to hear footsteps I walked back to the kitchen to finish up dinner. I heard Alice mumble under something under her breath but I just let it go because I wasn't going to let her ruin my day.
As I begin to slice the lettuce I heard Alice's voice loudly.
"There's my grand baby!" She yelled cheerfully, I looked over at her as she held her arms out as Ema walked over to her, hesitantly.
Here we go...
I vented to Harry as he was behind me, zipping my dress up.
"I just can't believe she would just show up like this and ask to see Ema like she had the right too!" I said as I watched Harry through the bathroom mirror.
"I know. But why are you wearing a dress? It's just dinner." Harry replied. I sighed deeply as I turned around once Harry was done and fixed his shirt up.
"It's my mom remember. She always picks out every little thing about every little thing and I just want it to be perfect okay. I mean, I know we weren't on good terms, but as I watched her with Ema as I was cooking I thought to myself hey, maybe she has changed. But I want everything to be prefect for her. That's why I added a couple more side dishes then just salad." My hands ran down Harry's shirt as I finished buttoning the rest of his shirt up.
I reached my hand up to his head and shuffled his curls to the way I liked them.
"Looking good babe." I said, pecking Harry's lips. I was soon going to end with Terrell but I just don't know when.
"You too. But Taylor don't let her get to you okay? Just be the maturer person." He said, reassuring me. I took his hand into mine as we exited the bedroom and begun to walk down Stairs.
"Oh I know. She has three times to mess with me." We both walked downstairs hand and hand, to see Alice playing with Ema on the couch.
It actually made me happy to see that my life was starting to come together slowly, but it also hurt me that she missed out all because she wanted to be a "know it all" bitch.
"Okay, dinners ready!" I said cheerfully, walking into the kitchen and grabbing the plates. I laid three big plates onto the table and laid Ema's special plate where she always sits. Next to me.
Alice carried Ema into the kitchen and sat her in the seat that was sat up for her.. I walked into the kitchen and carried the food to the table to see everyone already sitting down, ready to eat but I instantly stopped when I saw Alice sitting in my seat, getting comfortable.
I immediately cleared my throat. Alice turned to me.
"Your sitting in my chair. And it's my turn to feed Ema tonight." I said the most politest way possible. Alice then turned back around and laid the napkin into her lap. She was always preppy like that.
"Oh Taylor. Sitting somewhere else just for one night won't hurt will it? I mean come on, it's just a seat for god sakes! Plus I wanna spend every possible moment I can with my little grand baby." My vision moved from her to Harry who was looking at me and mouthing to "let it go" me.
I took deep breaths and tired to calm myself down. I wasn't going to let her ruin my night.
"That's fine with me." I cheerfully said. My jaw clenched together as I forced myself not to say anything slick out my mouth to her.. I placed the food at the center of the table and walked back into the kitchen. I looked back at Harry who was already staring at me.
I walked back to the table and placed the cups on the table and poured sprite into all them. Once I was done. I sat down at the table next to Harry and across from Alice as the quietness between all of us became awkward until Ema shouted something.
"I hungry!" She said shooting her hands into the sky. I smiled ear to ear and laughed as I got up and poured Ema's food on her plate.
"Eat up."
I was quite as Harry and Alice talked about his career. That's all they seemed to be talking about since we've started eating and it was really annoying just hearing about the same stuff over and over again. But my attention moved to Alice when she called my name.
"Hmmm?" I said chewing my food.
"Where'd you get that dress from?" She said, looking at me. A small smile appeared on my face as the thought of her giving me the first compliment of the night right now.
"Oh um, H&M.. They have really good dresses th-"
"I don't like it." She instantly cut my off when she said those words to me. My hand tightly grasped around the fork in attempt to calm down but it wasn't working.. My blood boiled as I stared at her.. The woman that I once called my mother.
"You can probably see your ass." She mumbled under her breath. At that point, I was ready to curse her out but I soon calmed down when I felt Harry's hand connect with my thigh. I liked over at him as he looked at me shaking his head slightly up and down. He was telling me to calm down and let it go.
I took deep breathes and closed my eyes, letting my nerves calm down before I talked to her again.
"Strike one." I whispered into Harry's ear. He just looked at me as I pulled away and nodded his head up and down then continued eating..
"So, how's the food?" I say very nicely as I smiled and tried to forget about the subject we were just talking about. I watched as Alice stuck her finger up at me as she finished chewing her food. Once she finished eating, she wiped her mouth and looked at me.
"To be honest Taylor, it's missing to many things. It basically has no taste and it's very blare. It needs more Salt and pepper!" My hand fisted the table cloth as she went on and on about the food being nasty or needing more ingredients.
My face was probably red as a potato right now, but she angered me. She hasn't said nothing nice to me as she entered my house.
"And the chicken is too tuff and chewy! I thought I taught you how to cook better than this." She said making me more angrier then I already was. Right when I was about to go off and say something rude, Harry instantly cut me off.
"I think the foods wonderful. Best food I've had in a while actually." He said taking another bite of his food. I slightly giggled as I watched his cheek puff up because he had so much food in his mouth. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I just let it go what Harry has been directing me to do since she got here. But I didn't forget one thing..
Second strike.
As everyone begun to finish eating their food, I walked over and picked Ema up and held her in my arms as she wobbled her head because she was tired. I sat back down in my seat looking down and Ema and rocking her in my arms slowly humming her a little lullaby she likes.
"Isn't she beautiful?" I whispered to Alice and Harry as they witnessed Ema falling to sleep in her mommys arms. These were the calm moments that I loved. Just watching my little angel sleep in my arms.
"She's beautiful Taylor, but quick question...." My vision moved to her as I continued to rock Ema in my arms I gestured for her to go on with what she was saying. I watched closely as she took a deep breath and threw her napkin down on the table.
"Who's Ema's real father?" Strike three.
Notes
Ohhhhhhhh! What's gonna happen? Comment what you think! Anyways hope you liked this longgggg chapter because may be the last one your getting this weekend because I have to study for my test Monday and Tuesday! Anyways love y'all and hope you enjoyed chapter 33COMMENT
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Love y'all! Stay safe young ones..
I can't see any of the house pictures -_- but I really love your story I read the first one all last night!
2/28/16