What You Call Love
C20
I fixed my earrings in my ears as I examined my outfit in the huge mirror. As much as I didn't want to sleep in the same room as Harry, this room was pretty amazing. Big bed. Big closets. Bed dressers. Big bathroom. It all was amazing.
I took another look at my outfit before stepping out of the room. As I walked down the hall trying to avoid Harry, who do I see?
"Hey Taylor." He stops me as I walk down the stairs.
"What?" I spat at him in annoyance.
"I was wondering if your able to feed and put Ema down. I'm kind of busy with this phone interview so would you mind doing it?" His voice was so sweet and innocent, but I had somewhere to go.
"No. I'm going out right about now if you'll get out my way." His expression immediately changes.
"She's your daughter and your going out when I ask you to feed and put down your daughter!?"
"Last time I checked, you wanted her to be your daughter so badly, now she is so deal with the fucking things that come with being a father." I pushed passed him and walked down stairs. I smirk to myself as I hear him call me all these things under his breath.
"Hey Tay." Christina hugs me tightly as I walk into the tattoo parlor.
"Hey Chris." She holds my hand tightly as we walk up to the cashier that had all of these tattoos and tattoos that covered his faces.
"What can I do for you ladies today?" I was still debating on a tattoo or piercing but I think I know what I want.
"Piercing for me." I say going through my purse taking my wallet out.
"For where?" He asked writing something down in a binder. It took me a moment to think about what I really want about to get Pierced but when It finally hit my head, I couldn't think about anywhere else.
"Belly button."
I pinch my eyes clothes as Christina holds my hand. I wasn't nervous at all. I've been through way more pain then getting a needle stuck in me.
"Okay... So on the count of three your going to feel a slight pinch but then it'll Be over. Just don't move." I move my head up and down as I watch the man sterilize the needle. "1..........." The clippers pinched my belly button and my stomach.
"2..........." He held the needle to the stomach and asked me if it was numb in that area. Once I nodded my head, that's when he stuck me with the needle.
"3." It really didn't hurt at all. By the look on their faces, I did good. I looked down at my belly button and saw my amazing
"You like tay?" Christina asked taking a picture of it. "I fucking love it". We walk up to the cashier and pay for the piercing.
"You were a trooper miss. I thought you would have been screaming." He chuckled. I gathered my change back and started walking.
"I've popped a baby out. Trust me, I can take pain."
I walked into the large apartment to see Harry sitting on the couch watching television.
"How was your interview." I ask trying to start a conversation.
"Bad since I had to care for Ema the whole time! Now the whole world has pictures of her." He rolled his eyes at me and I just laughed.
"They were going to find out anyways. Let it go." I walk upstairs in search for my angel Ema. My eyes roam the halls of the house as I look for Ema's room.
I still wasn't sure which door what's which since I basically just moved in a few hours ago. So, I open up every room door until I found that special one I was looking for. I slowly opened the door wider and tiptoed in without making a sound because I didn't want to wake her.
A smile instantly appears on my face as I watch Ema sleep. Her thumb was in her mouth as her other hand was in her shirt. It's not a surprise the was she was laying because I sleep like that too.
Her brown curls fell against her face and onto the pillow as she slept. I slowly close my eyes and bend down and kissed her forehead, playing and tangling her chocolate curls into my finger.
As I turn to leave my daughter be, I bump into something. My eyes scan what it was and my smile immediately turned to the exact opposite.
"You couldn't have moved Harry?" I said trying to move past his big, tall frame. But he blocked me looking down at me.
"She's sleep Taylor, let her be." His voice was very calm but that didn't change what he was trying to say and how he was trying to say it.
"Are you serious!? It's my daughter Harry and if I want to come and check on her, I can." His eyes grew big as he gestured his hands for me to lower my voice but at that point, I could actually care less since my voice was getting higher and higher by the moment.
"No Harry! I'm tried of it! I haven't see my goddamn daughter in months and when I check on her when she sleeps, it's one big of a fucking deal right? You know what Harry? Fuck you okay! She's my fucking daughter as well as yours.. It wasn't even like I was fucking waking her.." I watch as Harry points behind me.
My head snaps at what he's pointing at and my heart immediately breaks. Ema's standing up with teary eyes. By the way she looked, I could tell she was on the verge of crying and it would be all my fault.
As I walked to her that's when she began crying.
"Waaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaa" "waaaaaaa" "waaaaaa." I immediately picked her up and rocked her in my arms in effort to stop her but she wasn't going to.
"Please Ema, stop crying. For mama." My voice was vulnerable just like the first days when I brought her home and she wouldn't stop crying.
She sounded exactly like this and it broke my heart to pieces and still does! I looked down at Ema as tears poured down her cheeks. My eyes meet Harry's.
"Look what you've done." I mouthed to Harry as he looked trying to take hold of Ema but I turned away. My body froze as Ema pushed her hands against my chest hitting it in order to get away from me.
She held out her arms to the direction of where Harry was standing and yelled dada multiple times. I handed Ema to Harry as he looked into my eyes with sadness in his.
He looked very sad as he looked into my tearful eyes. This feeling that was overwhelming my body was worst then when Harry to Ema from me. Much worst.
That's when I felt numb.
That's when I felt like a failure.
That's when I didn't feel like a mother.
That's when I felt like she loved Harry more than me.
That's when I felt like I wasn't loved anymore.
That's when I felt like I was nothing...
I took another look at my outfit before stepping out of the room. As I walked down the hall trying to avoid Harry, who do I see?
"Hey Taylor." He stops me as I walk down the stairs.
"What?" I spat at him in annoyance.
"I was wondering if your able to feed and put Ema down. I'm kind of busy with this phone interview so would you mind doing it?" His voice was so sweet and innocent, but I had somewhere to go.
"No. I'm going out right about now if you'll get out my way." His expression immediately changes.
"She's your daughter and your going out when I ask you to feed and put down your daughter!?"
"Last time I checked, you wanted her to be your daughter so badly, now she is so deal with the fucking things that come with being a father." I pushed passed him and walked down stairs. I smirk to myself as I hear him call me all these things under his breath.
"Hey Tay." Christina hugs me tightly as I walk into the tattoo parlor.
"Hey Chris." She holds my hand tightly as we walk up to the cashier that had all of these tattoos and tattoos that covered his faces.
"What can I do for you ladies today?" I was still debating on a tattoo or piercing but I think I know what I want.
"Piercing for me." I say going through my purse taking my wallet out.
"For where?" He asked writing something down in a binder. It took me a moment to think about what I really want about to get Pierced but when It finally hit my head, I couldn't think about anywhere else.
"Belly button."
I pinch my eyes clothes as Christina holds my hand. I wasn't nervous at all. I've been through way more pain then getting a needle stuck in me.
"Okay... So on the count of three your going to feel a slight pinch but then it'll Be over. Just don't move." I move my head up and down as I watch the man sterilize the needle. "1..........." The clippers pinched my belly button and my stomach.
"2..........." He held the needle to the stomach and asked me if it was numb in that area. Once I nodded my head, that's when he stuck me with the needle.
"3." It really didn't hurt at all. By the look on their faces, I did good. I looked down at my belly button and saw my amazing
"You like tay?" Christina asked taking a picture of it. "I fucking love it". We walk up to the cashier and pay for the piercing.
"You were a trooper miss. I thought you would have been screaming." He chuckled. I gathered my change back and started walking.
"I've popped a baby out. Trust me, I can take pain."
I walked into the large apartment to see Harry sitting on the couch watching television.
"How was your interview." I ask trying to start a conversation.
"Bad since I had to care for Ema the whole time! Now the whole world has pictures of her." He rolled his eyes at me and I just laughed.
"They were going to find out anyways. Let it go." I walk upstairs in search for my angel Ema. My eyes roam the halls of the house as I look for Ema's room.
I still wasn't sure which door what's which since I basically just moved in a few hours ago. So, I open up every room door until I found that special one I was looking for. I slowly opened the door wider and tiptoed in without making a sound because I didn't want to wake her.
A smile instantly appears on my face as I watch Ema sleep. Her thumb was in her mouth as her other hand was in her shirt. It's not a surprise the was she was laying because I sleep like that too.
Her brown curls fell against her face and onto the pillow as she slept. I slowly close my eyes and bend down and kissed her forehead, playing and tangling her chocolate curls into my finger.
As I turn to leave my daughter be, I bump into something. My eyes scan what it was and my smile immediately turned to the exact opposite.
"You couldn't have moved Harry?" I said trying to move past his big, tall frame. But he blocked me looking down at me.
"She's sleep Taylor, let her be." His voice was very calm but that didn't change what he was trying to say and how he was trying to say it.
"Are you serious!? It's my daughter Harry and if I want to come and check on her, I can." His eyes grew big as he gestured his hands for me to lower my voice but at that point, I could actually care less since my voice was getting higher and higher by the moment.
"No Harry! I'm tried of it! I haven't see my goddamn daughter in months and when I check on her when she sleeps, it's one big of a fucking deal right? You know what Harry? Fuck you okay! She's my fucking daughter as well as yours.. It wasn't even like I was fucking waking her.." I watch as Harry points behind me.
My head snaps at what he's pointing at and my heart immediately breaks. Ema's standing up with teary eyes. By the way she looked, I could tell she was on the verge of crying and it would be all my fault.
As I walked to her that's when she began crying.
"Waaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaaa" "waaaaaaa" "waaaaaaa" "waaaaaa." I immediately picked her up and rocked her in my arms in effort to stop her but she wasn't going to.
"Please Ema, stop crying. For mama." My voice was vulnerable just like the first days when I brought her home and she wouldn't stop crying.
She sounded exactly like this and it broke my heart to pieces and still does! I looked down at Ema as tears poured down her cheeks. My eyes meet Harry's.
"Look what you've done." I mouthed to Harry as he looked trying to take hold of Ema but I turned away. My body froze as Ema pushed her hands against my chest hitting it in order to get away from me.
She held out her arms to the direction of where Harry was standing and yelled dada multiple times. I handed Ema to Harry as he looked into my eyes with sadness in his.
He looked very sad as he looked into my tearful eyes. This feeling that was overwhelming my body was worst then when Harry to Ema from me. Much worst.
That's when I felt numb.
That's when I felt like a failure.
That's when I didn't feel like a mother.
That's when I felt like she loved Harry more than me.
That's when I felt like I wasn't loved anymore.
That's when I felt like I was nothing...
Notes
Awwww, sad ending huh? Comment and tell me what you think though! And please message me for ANYTHING!!!Comment
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I can't see any of the house pictures -_- but I really love your story I read the first one all last night!
2/28/16