Distorted (A Niall Horan Story)
Chapter 46
Niall POV*
I waved them a goodbye after I got off from the car, the others went back to their flat first, but I don’t feel like sleeping though it’s almost 2 am. I put my hands in the rail, watching the stars up above. The wind chilled to my bones, I don’t even know how I survive swam to the deep of the river back then, I bet it’s even colder than now. I plunge my hands to the river Thames, “Just in case there's just one left, 'Cause you know, you know, you know, that I love you I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.” I sing under my breath, but it’s loud enough for my heart to listens.
Not quite sure if it’s the snow, or is it my tear is falling down through my cheek, if I didn’t accuse her, none of this would’ve happened, she would be in my arm now. Some people think of me as their hero, the main role of their life, however… I’m not even worth to be called a hero when I can’t even save someone I really love. I destroyed her. What can I do to help her? “So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go” I pulled my hand out of the river; the water is dripping to the ground as someone pat me in the back.
“What are you doing here?” asked Liam when I turn my face around. “Just watching the stars,” I answered him. Liam chuckles and sat next to me, “The stars looks so beautiful today, huh?” I nod. “Remind you of someone?” Liam asked me once again. I shrug, “Could be, I don’t know.” None of us said a word for a couple of seconds, but Liam is the one who breaks the silence, “What do you want to do from now on?” Honestly, I don’t know. I swear I don’t know. “Waiting for her to recover?” Liam guessed. I didn’t answer him. “Or are you blaming yourself to what had happened to Alice?” I turned my head around to him, “sorry?”
Liam gives me a smile, “Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down, but you can just skip the part when it knocks you down.” I bit the tip of my lips. “Blaming yourself won’t fix anything. Hospital is open 24 hours; you can just go there anytime you want it.” I smiled and laugh for a moment, wiping the tear that fell down from my eyes before, “Thanks Liam.” I told him and ran away, far from the river to the hospital where Alice is taken care at. When I arrived, I went to her room straight away, I opened closely her room and watches her still lying in the bed, hasn’t move an inch. I can still see the sofa which stands beside her, it was mine.
I walked closely and rub her hair slowly, with my left hand, while the other is holding her hand tightly. “Alice, you might hate me, you’re okay to feel that way. I’ve done something really terrible. You’ve gone though bad times. You were there when I needed you the most, but I weren’t there when you needed me most.” I paused, “but, Alice, I wanted you to know that… I love you. I’m sorry if I weren’t there for you, but that won’t happen anymore.” I smiled to her. I took a deep breath, and kiss her in her forehead, “The world may turn away against you, but you have to know that I will stand up for you, the one who means the world to me.”
I waved them a goodbye after I got off from the car, the others went back to their flat first, but I don’t feel like sleeping though it’s almost 2 am. I put my hands in the rail, watching the stars up above. The wind chilled to my bones, I don’t even know how I survive swam to the deep of the river back then, I bet it’s even colder than now. I plunge my hands to the river Thames, “Just in case there's just one left, 'Cause you know, you know, you know, that I love you I have loved you all along. And I miss you, been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.” I sing under my breath, but it’s loud enough for my heart to listens.
Not quite sure if it’s the snow, or is it my tear is falling down through my cheek, if I didn’t accuse her, none of this would’ve happened, she would be in my arm now. Some people think of me as their hero, the main role of their life, however… I’m not even worth to be called a hero when I can’t even save someone I really love. I destroyed her. What can I do to help her? “So keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it Hold on to me and, never let me go” I pulled my hand out of the river; the water is dripping to the ground as someone pat me in the back.
“What are you doing here?” asked Liam when I turn my face around. “Just watching the stars,” I answered him. Liam chuckles and sat next to me, “The stars looks so beautiful today, huh?” I nod. “Remind you of someone?” Liam asked me once again. I shrug, “Could be, I don’t know.” None of us said a word for a couple of seconds, but Liam is the one who breaks the silence, “What do you want to do from now on?” Honestly, I don’t know. I swear I don’t know. “Waiting for her to recover?” Liam guessed. I didn’t answer him. “Or are you blaming yourself to what had happened to Alice?” I turned my head around to him, “sorry?”
Liam gives me a smile, “Sometimes love comes around and it knocks you down, but you can just skip the part when it knocks you down.” I bit the tip of my lips. “Blaming yourself won’t fix anything. Hospital is open 24 hours; you can just go there anytime you want it.” I smiled and laugh for a moment, wiping the tear that fell down from my eyes before, “Thanks Liam.” I told him and ran away, far from the river to the hospital where Alice is taken care at. When I arrived, I went to her room straight away, I opened closely her room and watches her still lying in the bed, hasn’t move an inch. I can still see the sofa which stands beside her, it was mine.
I walked closely and rub her hair slowly, with my left hand, while the other is holding her hand tightly. “Alice, you might hate me, you’re okay to feel that way. I’ve done something really terrible. You’ve gone though bad times. You were there when I needed you the most, but I weren’t there when you needed me most.” I paused, “but, Alice, I wanted you to know that… I love you. I’m sorry if I weren’t there for you, but that won’t happen anymore.” I smiled to her. I took a deep breath, and kiss her in her forehead, “The world may turn away against you, but you have to know that I will stand up for you, the one who means the world to me.”
6/25/13