Sad, Beautiful, Tragic |h.s|
Chapter 5
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes, tonight I wanna cry
~Tonight I wanna cry, Keith Urban
Alessia/Taylor
“Good luck, Tay. I know you’ll win,” Alessia smiles genuinely at her friend, who is sprawled on Alessia's poster sized bed.
“Hopefully,” Tay sighs, sitting back up and crossing her legs over one another. “You’ll be okay, though?” Taylor asks uncertainly, her blue eyes searching Alessia’s blue ones for confirmation.
Alessia nods in response. She sits down beside Taylor on the bed, playing nervously with her fingers, she asks something to Taylor, which Tay doesn’t quite catch. “Are you gonna see the lads?” she asks softly.
“Y-yeah,” Tay replies, hoping Alessia wouldn’t catch the high note her voice had taken. And Alessia didn’t. Alessia’s heart clenched in her chest, a deep throbbing pain that never went away but she managed to shut off, awakened leaving her blue eyes watery.
“Don’t tell them about me, please.” She begged, keeping her voice from falling apart. She’d learnt doing that really well in the past few months.
“I won’t tell them about Lexi Tomlinson,” Taylor replies quietly staring at the wall.
“Thanks.” Alessia blinks back her tears furiously, then forces a smile towards her friend. She leans over to pull Taylor in a hug.
Taylor jerks back suddenly, her blue eyes wide in shock. Alessia masks the hurt that she feels, at being rejected, she smiles a soft smile at Taylor, or at least she tries to. Taylor notices her friend’s pained expression, her blue eyes pooled in tears. She holds both of Alessia’s elbows at an arm’s distance, her worried eyes scanning Alessia’s frail figure.
“Alexis,” Taylor whispers, barely audible. Alessia flinches as Taylor pronounces her real name. “God, Lexi!” Alessia closes her eyes tightly for a moment, knowing what was coming next. Taylor’s voice still isn’t above a whisper, “what are you doing to your--”
Alessia is spared from answering when Taylor’s phone, rings loudly, snapping Tay out of her thoughts. Her worried eyes, though are still fixed on Alessia’s hollow face, bony wrists.
“Phone!” Alessia says forcing a giggle, Taylor’s gaze is still fixed upon Alessia as she takes tiny steps backwards. She stares at Alessia for another moment before turning to the blue-case iPhone, and slides her fingers across the screen, placing the phone under her ear. She hears the faint murmur of her personal assistant, but doesn’t listen to a word she says.
“I’ll see you outside the campus in an hour,” Anna speaks, before hanging up. Taylor nods, although Anna can’t see her.
“Let’s get you dolled up!” Alessia exclaims, ignoring Tay’s hard glare, that seems to be burning holes in her back, as she turns to her dressing table.
“Lexi,” Taylor sighs, walking towards her best friend.
Alessia switches on the radio instead, her hips swaying to whatever song is playing, but she stops abruptly as her attention is caught by their enchanting voices. But his voice stands out among them, sounding deep, husky, angelic and...and broken. “‘Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? That you make me strong.”
Taylor pauses too, her posture stiffening, as she recognizes the five voices too.
“Think of, how much love that's been wasted.” Alessia release a sound between a gasp and sob. “People always, trying to escape it, move on to stop their heart breaking, but there's nothing I'm running from.” Her brother. If he still thought of her that way. The boy who had first heard her sing. The boy who cried with her, and laughed with her. One of the two boys who would have willingly laid his life in place of her. The sea-green eyed sass master, whom she loved more than her own dear life. “You make me strong.”
"Sorry if I say I need ya, but I don't care I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong?”“
Alessia doesn’t need confirmation to know that the song has been written by Harry. The way the words have been put together, the slow and soothing beat. The beautiful lyrics, and most of all the deep meaning the words behold.
She remembers Harry telling him that he had wanted to go to Cambridge University, if he wouldn’t be in the band. Majoring in English. He would have gotten in, that Alessia was sure of, he was one of the smartest people she’d met. There was a hint of remorse in his voice, when he talked about going to college. But then he had smiled at her, saying “but I don’t regret it. I wouldn’t have met you if we hadn’t come third in the X-Factor.” he had grinned at her his beautiful dimples deepening.
“On second thoughts.” He had murmured, his green eyes sparkling with the innocence, and truth, “We would have met.” He had stared into her gray eyes, flashing her his signature cheeky smile. “We are meant to be.” Alessia’s heart had fluttered at the four simple words, it still did. Just his voice, made her heart race, and slow down like nothing else could or ever would.
It does a stupid flutter in her chest as he finishes the song, “That you make me strong,” with that his voice vanishes, replaced the RJ’s preppy announcement, leaving a hollow pain in Alessia’s heart. She grips the chair sitting beside the dresser, her knuckles turn white.
“C’mon, babe. You’re gonna be late,” she announces forcing a smile towards Taylor, Alessia has gotten used to flashing her beautiful smile so much that she didn’t have to try hard, to fake another one.
Taylor looks at her friend with concern. Alessia points to the bathroom door, Taylor reluctantly walks inside and changes into the dress they got last night for the AMA. The nervous energy in her, builds on her fingertips, and she nervously taps the bathroom sink. The awards weren’t built the anxiety inside her, but the thought of meeting the five boys. Taylor clenches her fingers together, and takes a deep breath before walking back into the room. Alessia couldn’t know about the wild idea running in her mind.
“I suck at this,” Alessia says pointing to the various brushes and makeup lying on the table. ‘But I’m gonna try, alright?” she asks Taylor biting on her lips lightly.
Taylor nods, smiling slightly at Alessia’s innocent expression. She just gave this vibe, gaining a special place in everyone’s heart, without even knowing it. Looking at Alessia, as she is concentrating on straightening Taylor’s hair, she understands why Harry fell in love with her. She was beautiful and she knew it, it was evident in the way she held herself, but never once had Taylor seen Alessia brag or taunt others. She was kind and lovable, without knowing it. She was amazing person with or without the fame. She was stronger than any girl Tay had ever seen. She was the sister of Louis Tomlinson for god’s sake. But that didn’t move her feet off the ground.
“What?” Alessia asks nervously, as she fluffs Taylor’s straightened hair.
“Nothing,” Tay smiles back at her. And closes her eyes, for Alessia to do her makeup, which Alessia finished in half an hour, with careful and gentle strokes.
“And,” Alessia says applying a last coat of mascara, “You’re all done,” she says in her soft accent.
Taylor opens her eyes, and smiles at herself in the mirror. She gets up to wrap her arms around Alessia, only to be shocked again by the way her arms went all the way around Alessia’s waist, although they were both the same height.
“Ale--”
“Good luck. Don’t get too nervous, and…” she opens her mouth to say something but quickly shuts it after, “and, I love you, babe!” she fakes a grin. Taylor smiles back, at her new best friend, a nagging feeling kept her staring at Alexis for a while. “Go!” Alessia cries pushing Taylor a little.
“Bye,” Taylor whispers slipping out of the dorm room, just as the talking of Alessia’s dorm mates comes from the other end of the hallway.
Taylor
Taylor smiles and waves as the photographer flashes a few pictures, before nervously walking inside. She wipes her sweaty palms on her dress, trying to spot the five cheeky boys. It used to be so easy to spot those five boys in a crowded room, their jokes, and teasing, their delightful laughs, making them one of the hottest boy bands.
Taylor looks around for a long time, before seeing the five boys sitting quietly. Harry’s head is hanging low, looking like this this the last place where he wants to be, which it probably is. Zayn and Louis are bent over their cell phones. Liam looks exhausted as he sits there talking to Niall, in a low voice. His eyes falling on Harry every now and then.
Taylor takes shaky steps towards them. Sweat beads forming on her foreheads. She clenches and unclenches her fists a few times, then strides quickly down to where they are sitting. She clears her throat, “Um...Liam?” she speaks slowly.
“Oh, Taylor!” he says getting up to wrap his arms around her. She hugs back. Reaching out for Niall next, who sweetly kisses her cheek. Louis and Zayn repeat the gestures. She exchanges pleasantries with the four boys, as pleasant as they could get, with their best friend gone. She steals glances at Harry who seems oblivious to what’s happening around him.
Zayn sighs, “Haz.” Harry looks up.
“Taylor,” he acknowledges her with a shake of his head, then looks back at Zayn with a happy-now? expression. Liam curses under his breath.
“Can you at least fake a fucking smile?” Louis hisses.
Harry rolls his eyes, flashing his dimples for a second before turning back to whatever he has been doing for the past fifteen minutes.
Niall runs a hand through his hair. Taylor flashes them a reassuring smile, asking them about their girlfriends. Liam sits back, ignoring the conversation. Taylor quirks her eyebrows, looking at Niall, he shrugs.
Taylor decides to sit beside Harry. She clears her throat a few times. Harry looks up annoyed, “Whadya want?” he asks. Eating up half the words.
“Hi,” Taylor tries.
“Hello Tay-lor,” Harry mutters. Then turns to looking back down. Taylor sighs heavily.
“You wanna know wher--” she stops sighing again.
"Tay! I'm trusting you on this. Don't tell anybody, if you do...You're risking not only his life but the whole bands'" Lexi yelled from within the room, as if she'd read her intentions. "Please. I'll go back, eventually. I promise."
“Promise?” Taylor asked again.
“Promise,” Lexi answered.
‘Okay,” I replied dropping my phone.
“Did you hear about the new artist? Umm… Alessia Cowell?” Taylor says, looking down at Harry.
Harry scowls at her, his green eyes blazing with fury. “No I didn’t. And I don’t want to. Now would you kindly mind your own business.” Harry mutters before turning back to staring at his shoes.
“I don’t know she just looked familiar. Her voice too…” she trails off. Looking innocently into Harry’s face, which is red with anger.
“I swear to god, if you speak another word…” he stops. “Don’t” he mumbles looking back at his shoes.
“I jus--”
“And lads, let’s go. We’re performing next,” Liam says pulling Harry up.
“Good luck,” she smiles at them. All except Harry smile back, smiling has become too difficult for him. He barely even contributes in the conversations the boys were having. Whenever Taylor looked at him, he was either playing with his fingers, or staring into nothingness.
“How is this gonna work?” Taylor mumbles under her breath, as the boys walk towards the stage. Taylor mumbles a quick prayer, and flashes Louis a thumbs up when he looks back.
Harry
“Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain, I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days.” Harry starts singing, his eyes seem to be on the crowd, but his mind is elsewhere.
“She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones, it seems to me that when I die, these words will be written on my stone.”
Zayn continues with the pre-chorus, until Harry’s part comes on again, his eyes are still unfocused. A ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “And time is frozen.”
“And I'll be gone gone tonight. The fire beneath my feet is burning bright, the way that I been holdin' on so tight, with nothing in between.” Louis sings the pre-chorus. Harry snaps back to reality, his mind is a daze.
“The story of my life I take her home, I drive all night to--” Harry turns around indicating Zayn to take it from there, he wipes the moisture from his eyes. He silently curses at himself.
“The story of my life I give her hope, I spend her love until she's broke inside. The story of my life” Harry tries joining the other lads, but his voice is too shaky. He runs a hand through his hair, his back still turned to the audience.
Somehow he manages to whisper, “the story of my life,” in the end. The audience bombard him with questions. He waves them away, saying it was a coughing fit.
Alessia
Everyone accepts the lie, except the one girl who is sitting three and a half hours away from him. Crying silent tears, hoping for him to flash a small smile, to at least pretend he was okay for her sake. The girl Harry had given his heart to.
From my eyes, tonight I wanna cry
~Tonight I wanna cry, Keith Urban
Alessia/Taylor
“Good luck, Tay. I know you’ll win,” Alessia smiles genuinely at her friend, who is sprawled on Alessia's poster sized bed.
“Hopefully,” Tay sighs, sitting back up and crossing her legs over one another. “You’ll be okay, though?” Taylor asks uncertainly, her blue eyes searching Alessia’s blue ones for confirmation.
Alessia nods in response. She sits down beside Taylor on the bed, playing nervously with her fingers, she asks something to Taylor, which Tay doesn’t quite catch. “Are you gonna see the lads?” she asks softly.
“Y-yeah,” Tay replies, hoping Alessia wouldn’t catch the high note her voice had taken. And Alessia didn’t. Alessia’s heart clenched in her chest, a deep throbbing pain that never went away but she managed to shut off, awakened leaving her blue eyes watery.
“Don’t tell them about me, please.” She begged, keeping her voice from falling apart. She’d learnt doing that really well in the past few months.
“I won’t tell them about Lexi Tomlinson,” Taylor replies quietly staring at the wall.
“Thanks.” Alessia blinks back her tears furiously, then forces a smile towards her friend. She leans over to pull Taylor in a hug.
Taylor jerks back suddenly, her blue eyes wide in shock. Alessia masks the hurt that she feels, at being rejected, she smiles a soft smile at Taylor, or at least she tries to. Taylor notices her friend’s pained expression, her blue eyes pooled in tears. She holds both of Alessia’s elbows at an arm’s distance, her worried eyes scanning Alessia’s frail figure.
“Alexis,” Taylor whispers, barely audible. Alessia flinches as Taylor pronounces her real name. “God, Lexi!” Alessia closes her eyes tightly for a moment, knowing what was coming next. Taylor’s voice still isn’t above a whisper, “what are you doing to your--”
Alessia is spared from answering when Taylor’s phone, rings loudly, snapping Tay out of her thoughts. Her worried eyes, though are still fixed on Alessia’s hollow face, bony wrists.
“Phone!” Alessia says forcing a giggle, Taylor’s gaze is still fixed upon Alessia as she takes tiny steps backwards. She stares at Alessia for another moment before turning to the blue-case iPhone, and slides her fingers across the screen, placing the phone under her ear. She hears the faint murmur of her personal assistant, but doesn’t listen to a word she says.
“I’ll see you outside the campus in an hour,” Anna speaks, before hanging up. Taylor nods, although Anna can’t see her.
“Let’s get you dolled up!” Alessia exclaims, ignoring Tay’s hard glare, that seems to be burning holes in her back, as she turns to her dressing table.
“Lexi,” Taylor sighs, walking towards her best friend.
Alessia switches on the radio instead, her hips swaying to whatever song is playing, but she stops abruptly as her attention is caught by their enchanting voices. But his voice stands out among them, sounding deep, husky, angelic and...and broken. “‘Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong? That you make me strong.”
Taylor pauses too, her posture stiffening, as she recognizes the five voices too.
“Think of, how much love that's been wasted.” Alessia release a sound between a gasp and sob. “People always, trying to escape it, move on to stop their heart breaking, but there's nothing I'm running from.” Her brother. If he still thought of her that way. The boy who had first heard her sing. The boy who cried with her, and laughed with her. One of the two boys who would have willingly laid his life in place of her. The sea-green eyed sass master, whom she loved more than her own dear life. “You make me strong.”
"Sorry if I say I need ya, but I don't care I'm not scared of love. 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker. Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong?”“
Alessia doesn’t need confirmation to know that the song has been written by Harry. The way the words have been put together, the slow and soothing beat. The beautiful lyrics, and most of all the deep meaning the words behold.
She remembers Harry telling him that he had wanted to go to Cambridge University, if he wouldn’t be in the band. Majoring in English. He would have gotten in, that Alessia was sure of, he was one of the smartest people she’d met. There was a hint of remorse in his voice, when he talked about going to college. But then he had smiled at her, saying “but I don’t regret it. I wouldn’t have met you if we hadn’t come third in the X-Factor.” he had grinned at her his beautiful dimples deepening.
“On second thoughts.” He had murmured, his green eyes sparkling with the innocence, and truth, “We would have met.” He had stared into her gray eyes, flashing her his signature cheeky smile. “We are meant to be.” Alessia’s heart had fluttered at the four simple words, it still did. Just his voice, made her heart race, and slow down like nothing else could or ever would.
It does a stupid flutter in her chest as he finishes the song, “That you make me strong,” with that his voice vanishes, replaced the RJ’s preppy announcement, leaving a hollow pain in Alessia’s heart. She grips the chair sitting beside the dresser, her knuckles turn white.
“C’mon, babe. You’re gonna be late,” she announces forcing a smile towards Taylor, Alessia has gotten used to flashing her beautiful smile so much that she didn’t have to try hard, to fake another one.
Taylor looks at her friend with concern. Alessia points to the bathroom door, Taylor reluctantly walks inside and changes into the dress they got last night for the AMA. The nervous energy in her, builds on her fingertips, and she nervously taps the bathroom sink. The awards weren’t built the anxiety inside her, but the thought of meeting the five boys. Taylor clenches her fingers together, and takes a deep breath before walking back into the room. Alessia couldn’t know about the wild idea running in her mind.
“I suck at this,” Alessia says pointing to the various brushes and makeup lying on the table. ‘But I’m gonna try, alright?” she asks Taylor biting on her lips lightly.
Taylor nods, smiling slightly at Alessia’s innocent expression. She just gave this vibe, gaining a special place in everyone’s heart, without even knowing it. Looking at Alessia, as she is concentrating on straightening Taylor’s hair, she understands why Harry fell in love with her. She was beautiful and she knew it, it was evident in the way she held herself, but never once had Taylor seen Alessia brag or taunt others. She was kind and lovable, without knowing it. She was amazing person with or without the fame. She was stronger than any girl Tay had ever seen. She was the sister of Louis Tomlinson for god’s sake. But that didn’t move her feet off the ground.
“What?” Alessia asks nervously, as she fluffs Taylor’s straightened hair.
“Nothing,” Tay smiles back at her. And closes her eyes, for Alessia to do her makeup, which Alessia finished in half an hour, with careful and gentle strokes.
“And,” Alessia says applying a last coat of mascara, “You’re all done,” she says in her soft accent.
Taylor opens her eyes, and smiles at herself in the mirror. She gets up to wrap her arms around Alessia, only to be shocked again by the way her arms went all the way around Alessia’s waist, although they were both the same height.
“Ale--”
“Good luck. Don’t get too nervous, and…” she opens her mouth to say something but quickly shuts it after, “and, I love you, babe!” she fakes a grin. Taylor smiles back, at her new best friend, a nagging feeling kept her staring at Alexis for a while. “Go!” Alessia cries pushing Taylor a little.
“Bye,” Taylor whispers slipping out of the dorm room, just as the talking of Alessia’s dorm mates comes from the other end of the hallway.
Taylor
Taylor smiles and waves as the photographer flashes a few pictures, before nervously walking inside. She wipes her sweaty palms on her dress, trying to spot the five cheeky boys. It used to be so easy to spot those five boys in a crowded room, their jokes, and teasing, their delightful laughs, making them one of the hottest boy bands.
Taylor looks around for a long time, before seeing the five boys sitting quietly. Harry’s head is hanging low, looking like this this the last place where he wants to be, which it probably is. Zayn and Louis are bent over their cell phones. Liam looks exhausted as he sits there talking to Niall, in a low voice. His eyes falling on Harry every now and then.
Taylor takes shaky steps towards them. Sweat beads forming on her foreheads. She clenches and unclenches her fists a few times, then strides quickly down to where they are sitting. She clears her throat, “Um...Liam?” she speaks slowly.
“Oh, Taylor!” he says getting up to wrap his arms around her. She hugs back. Reaching out for Niall next, who sweetly kisses her cheek. Louis and Zayn repeat the gestures. She exchanges pleasantries with the four boys, as pleasant as they could get, with their best friend gone. She steals glances at Harry who seems oblivious to what’s happening around him.
Zayn sighs, “Haz.” Harry looks up.
“Taylor,” he acknowledges her with a shake of his head, then looks back at Zayn with a happy-now? expression. Liam curses under his breath.
“Can you at least fake a fucking smile?” Louis hisses.
Harry rolls his eyes, flashing his dimples for a second before turning back to whatever he has been doing for the past fifteen minutes.
Niall runs a hand through his hair. Taylor flashes them a reassuring smile, asking them about their girlfriends. Liam sits back, ignoring the conversation. Taylor quirks her eyebrows, looking at Niall, he shrugs.
Taylor decides to sit beside Harry. She clears her throat a few times. Harry looks up annoyed, “Whadya want?” he asks. Eating up half the words.
“Hi,” Taylor tries.
“Hello Tay-lor,” Harry mutters. Then turns to looking back down. Taylor sighs heavily.
“You wanna know wher--” she stops sighing again.
"Tay! I'm trusting you on this. Don't tell anybody, if you do...You're risking not only his life but the whole bands'" Lexi yelled from within the room, as if she'd read her intentions. "Please. I'll go back, eventually. I promise."
“Promise?” Taylor asked again.
“Promise,” Lexi answered.
‘Okay,” I replied dropping my phone.
“Did you hear about the new artist? Umm… Alessia Cowell?” Taylor says, looking down at Harry.
Harry scowls at her, his green eyes blazing with fury. “No I didn’t. And I don’t want to. Now would you kindly mind your own business.” Harry mutters before turning back to staring at his shoes.
“I don’t know she just looked familiar. Her voice too…” she trails off. Looking innocently into Harry’s face, which is red with anger.
“I swear to god, if you speak another word…” he stops. “Don’t” he mumbles looking back at his shoes.
“I jus--”
“And lads, let’s go. We’re performing next,” Liam says pulling Harry up.
“Good luck,” she smiles at them. All except Harry smile back, smiling has become too difficult for him. He barely even contributes in the conversations the boys were having. Whenever Taylor looked at him, he was either playing with his fingers, or staring into nothingness.
“How is this gonna work?” Taylor mumbles under her breath, as the boys walk towards the stage. Taylor mumbles a quick prayer, and flashes Louis a thumbs up when he looks back.
Harry
“Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain, I leave my heart open but it stays right here empty for days.” Harry starts singing, his eyes seem to be on the crowd, but his mind is elsewhere.
“She told me in the morning she don't feel the same about us in her bones, it seems to me that when I die, these words will be written on my stone.”
Zayn continues with the pre-chorus, until Harry’s part comes on again, his eyes are still unfocused. A ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “And time is frozen.”
“And I'll be gone gone tonight. The fire beneath my feet is burning bright, the way that I been holdin' on so tight, with nothing in between.” Louis sings the pre-chorus. Harry snaps back to reality, his mind is a daze.
“The story of my life I take her home, I drive all night to--” Harry turns around indicating Zayn to take it from there, he wipes the moisture from his eyes. He silently curses at himself.
“The story of my life I give her hope, I spend her love until she's broke inside. The story of my life” Harry tries joining the other lads, but his voice is too shaky. He runs a hand through his hair, his back still turned to the audience.
Somehow he manages to whisper, “the story of my life,” in the end. The audience bombard him with questions. He waves them away, saying it was a coughing fit.
Alessia
Everyone accepts the lie, except the one girl who is sitting three and a half hours away from him. Crying silent tears, hoping for him to flash a small smile, to at least pretend he was okay for her sake. The girl Harry had given his heart to.
Notes
I know, I know. Ages since it's been ages since I last updated. But hopefully this super long chapter will make up for it. And I promise to do a double update tomorrow, 'cause I feel awful for not updating for so long. Mmmm, questions?Do ya think Harry is actually gonna look around for Alessia?
What do ya think is happening with Alessia/ Lexi?
And the ending made me cry so hard. Anyway, my wonderful readers, Comment, Vote and Subscribe!!
Luv y'all <3 and stay beautiful
xxx
***Oh and one more thing, I know Harry didn't actually write 'Strong', Infact Louis did, and I'm very proud of the fact that he wrote such an amazing song, but this a fanifiction. And so I put Harry there. No offense, to anyone who found it was offensive.***
Hey love! I absolutely LOVE this story. First and sequel included! I've read this whole story in one day and now there is no update! I would love if you would add a chapter because this is amazing! Please, please continue! If people are telling you this story sucks, DON'T LISTEN! You have tons of fans who want to know what comes next. I understand if school is also a part of this, I've got school too. I'm willing to wait for this amazing story!!
11/19/20