Song for the chapter: Demi Lovato - Without the love

As I got out of the shower I felt a lot better. My makeup was washed away and so was the alcohol from last night.

I got dressed and decided to wear something warm and cosy, since I was already freezing again. Harry sat on my bed with crossed legs, reading a book he took out of my bookshelf. It was “Spring awakening”. I had the thought that I could really used to him sitting there, reading.

He looked up as he heard me come in and smiled.

“You are ready?”, I asked him already slipping into my boots.

“Whenever you are”, he said and stood up. I left a short note for my sister before we got out. It was still pretty early, but the sun already shone.

Harry was right I felt better that second my brain filled with fresh air and oxygen. Still a bad headache, but at least better. We got into his car and I asked him where we were going.

“For breakfast to the time-out”, he said and I agreed.

We talked in the car. About the weather, politics, school, music.... Everything.

Except the kiss.

I was reminded of our first meeting as soon as we drove on the parking lot in front of the bakery. Harry stopped the car and looked for his wallet. I already got out, walking over to his side of the door.

I was freaking out on the inside and I knew it would drive me crazy for the rest of the day, if I could not clear things up.

“Alright”, I said after he shoot the door. Harry looked at me confused.

“I got it: you do not want to talk about that kiss”, I said, “you should just know, that I am sorry, if I ruined your night even before you could hook up with any other girl. I mean I am really not that kind of girl, that walks around parties and kisses every cute, handsome boy, that gets into my way. I just wanted to clear things...”

But before I could finish my sentence, he made me shut up.

He pulled me close to him and pressed his lips on mine. He seemed to be hungry, but not for something they had in the cafe. His hands were on my face, holding it. Holding me.

Our lips moved on each other like we never did anything else in our lives. I could feel his heartbeat while I pressed my hands on his body. He bit my under lip and I moaned a little bit.

It felt so good and I never wanted to stop. This was right. I was nothing else but me in this moment. I pushed my body closer to his, my hands moving up his arms.

We had to stop to breathe again. He hold my face close to his. I could smell the chewing gum he had in the car and I his warm breath on my cheeks.

“We...did...it again”, I said slowly.

“Do you needed any talking about it?”, he asked. I shook my head. That had been pretty clear.

“But why is this happening?”, I asked him while we stepped away from each other.

“I don`t know, Clary. You are a girl and I am a boy...”, he said like it would answer my question.

“So that`s it?”, I asked.

“You call it a physical reaction, because we humans have a strong sexual tribe?”, I asked angry.

Harry sighed. “I felt like it. Why do you have to hear a reason?”, he asked.

I took a deep, angry breath. “Like I just said I am not the girl that just gives in her sexual lust!”, I said louder than I wanted to.

“Taylor was right”, I continued. “You are just looking for some weekend fun, don`t you?”

Now Harry was angry too. “Stop it, Clary! I really don`t understand why you are freaking out about this?! It felt good didn`t it?”

Of course it did. It was better than just good, but that was not the point.

“That is not my point!”, I shouted.

“You need a reason? Fine. I like you Clary. You are pretty insane and crazy and tiny, but there is just something that makes me want you!”, he yelled at me.

My mouth hang wide open. He said he wanted me.

“Is that enough reason for you?”, he asked again.

I did not answered him. Like Harry would have said, I just gave in to my birth given sexual tribe, kissing him again.
(SOME MINUTES LATER)
We decided to pick up some coffee to go and some rolls to go to the city of Holmes Chapel since I preferred to stay outside with fresh air. The old ladies behind the counter welcomed us and they even recognised me.

“You were the clumsy girl that made that mess”, one of them said. Harry and I had to laugh as we got remembered.

“That is Clary, Diane. She is the boss here”, Harry said.

“Nice to meet you Clary”, she said friendly.

“She is the one, who is always squeezing my bump”, Harry said.

“You do?”, I asked her laughing.

“Someone has to”, she said and demonstrated it to me. Harry protested loudly.
“They are so friendly”, I said as we walked out of the bakery.

“They are. It is already like my second home”, Harry said smiling.

We drove into the city centre and sat down on a bank near the park. I watched the people around me and as I saw two old people holding hands I had to smile.

“What are you smiling about?”, Harry asked.

“I am happy”, I answered.

“For what reason?”

“The sun is shining and it is a beautiful autumn day. I think I will like England a lot and I am here with you”, I answered. Harry smiled crooked.

“Tell me about your family”, I said.

“Well, my mum is married to another men again, since she and my dad got divorced when I was still really little. So now it is my mum, her husband, my sister Gemma and me”, he answered.

“Do you like your home?”

“I do. I can not imagine a life without them. They do everything they can for me and I try to give them back as much as I can.”

I sat there looking at him and listening to his beautiful voice while listening to him talking this cute about his family. God, why was he so perfect?

“What about your family?”, he asked. “I already had the pleasure to get to know your sister, even though she was sleeping so I think that does not really count.”

I thought about my family for a minute.

“My mum is a lovely and kind-hearted person, I guess, but she was always really dependent from other people, so she sometimes is overstrained when it comes to big challenges. My girlfriends used to say that most of the time I am the grown up from us too. Her new husband is funny and so smart, he just knows about things no one else would. My real dad is not the best person...but I think he is trying his best and that is all I can ask for, right? And my sister? She is the complete difference of me. Loud, confident and popular, so it is really hard to get to the same level sometimes.”

Harry was searching for words: “But you are lonely sometimes, aren`t you?”, he asked.

“I am. Sometimes I feel like they are looking right through me like I was not even there at all. They are all so caught up in their own worries and lives, that they seem to forget about me a lot of times. I am just the brave and good behaving daughter.” Harry looked at me seriously.

“If you ever feeling lonely, you can call me and I will be your company.”

I melted a little bit inside. I would have never asked anyone for something big like this.

“I really appreciate this. Thank you very much”, I said. Harry smiled at me and I was wondering why he made this promise. Was I really worth his whole attention?

Notes

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Demi Lovato and her amaZAYN song, haha: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn-UK953aIU