To be completely honest, I don’t remember much of the morning of February 23rd, 2012. This is mostly because I was standing in line at a Heathrow Costa Coffee just as the sun was coming up, ordered to fetch nine different drinks for my companions. Some how (again, I can’t remember much) I managed to do so without giving myself third degree burns, as well as board a plane and find my seat without much drama.

With the time difference, we arrived in Chicago around lunchtime, meaning that we were all craving some really food, rather than the microwavable shit they tried to feed us on the plane. Unfortunately for the lads, being in demand pop stars meant that their schedule was pretty tight, so we only had time for a McDonald’s run before they had to get to their first radio interview. I, however, got to sleep.

If you’ve never stayed in a Sofitel, I highly recommend it. Not only do they come with fully stocked mini-fridges (Niall swept through mine before I had even gotten my bags through the door), but they also have some of the most comfortable beds ever. I took a quick shower and collapsed into mine for a much needed five hour nap.

I woke up around 6:00pm, Chicago time, and it took me a minute to remember where exactly I was. It was hard to believe that I was here on tour with One Direction, and that I had spent my first few hours in America sleeping in my hotel room. But, I knew better than to complain. Louis had told me how crazy their schedule could get, so it was best to stock up on sleep when I could.

My knee was throbbing slightly, so I got some ice from the corridor vending machine. I could hear the boys getting off the elevator at the other end of the hall; their interviews must have been done for the night.

“Early morning lads,” Paul called out to all of them. “Van rolls at 7:00am.”

I assumed that they would all just head to bed, but Niall caught sight of me down the hallway and jogged to catch up with me before I got into my room. I looked like something was on his mind, so I waited for him to reach me.

“Hey love, sleep well?” He asked, coming to a stop in front of me and shoving his hands into his pockets.

“It was marvelous,” I replied, opening my door.

“What are you up to now?” he asked, looking behind him to see if the other boys were around.

I shrugged. “Jurassic Park in on TV.” Niall’s face lit up, his excitement never ceased to make me laugh. “Do you want to join?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Niall followed me inside and shut the door as I crawled back onto the bed, sitting back against the headboard and resting the bag of ice on my knee. After searching through my minifridge and coming up empty handed, Niall joined me on the bed, nodding at my leg.

“Is it bothering you?”

“A bit,” I admitted, shifting the ice around. “Just sat too long in one position on the plane, is all.”

We watched the beginning of Jurassic Park – one of my favorite movies – and on the first commercial Niall turned to look at me. I knew he wanted to say something.

“Spit it out, Irish,” I sighed, muting the television.

Niall sighed and looked down at his hands. “Okay, but don’t be mad at me.”

“When you start it out like that, it makes me worried that I will get mad at you.”

“Right, well, remember the other morning when we woke up and you thought we had slept together?”

I stared at him. “That same morning when you explicitly said that we did not sleep together?”

“Oh, we didn’t,” Niall said quickly. “But, we did talk about some things the night before...”

“Yes, I told you about University,” I replied, not really understanding where this was going.

“Right,” he affirmed. “Yeah. Right.” Niall looked away again awkwardly.

“Niall,” I said sternly. “What else did we talk about?”

“Well, uh, funny story, actually, you know...you were pretty drunk at the time so you could have been - ”

“Irish!”

“You said you wanted shag Liam!”

I quite literally felt the blood drain from my face. I sat there, frozen, looking at him as Niall swallowed hard and looked embarrassed. Why he felt embarrassed, I don’t know, since I was the one who was completely mortified. Of course, that was what I said. Not that I thought Liam was a nice guy, not that I thought he was attractive, not that I fancied him or thought it would be nice to walk hand in hand on a moonlit beach with him...no. I had to say that I wanted to shag him.

“I said that?” I croaked. “Like, out loud?”

“You pretty much screamed it, to be honest.”

“Oh my God,” I groaned, burying my head into a pillow. “I’m such a fucking wanker. Did any one hear?” I asked desperately, suddenly terrified that everyone knew and were all secretly laughing at me.”

“I don’t think so,” Niall tried assuring me. “I mean, we were in your room and the music was pretty loud.”

“Okay, good.” I looked up at him, and now that he knew I wasn’t going to be mad with him, there was an amused smile playing at his lips. “I really yelled that?”

“Yep, you did,” Niall replied. “And you said, ‘fuck Nathan, I’m going to have Liam’s babies’. Then you fell off the bed.”

“Well, it’s no wonder my head hurt so much the next morning.” I sighed. “You’re not judging me too much, are you?”

“No! JJ, I’m not judging you at all. I just...I thought you should know that I know.”

“You’re not going to tell anyone are you?” I asked, suddenly nervous. Niall, as far as I knew, was not good at keeping secrets, especially from the other lads. The last thing I needed was him accidently telling one of them.

“Not a soul,” he promised with a smile. “But I really think we need to talk a bit about the whole thing.”

I frowned. “Do we really?”

“Yep.”

Resigned, I nodded. “Okay, can we at least go get something to eat though?”

Niall glanced at his watch. “We have two hours until curfew, what are you tasting?”

Winter in Chicago is very, very cold. Luckily for us, being in a city means that there were restaurants on every corner, and Niall and I were able to find a decent looking pizzeria just down the block from the hotel. Niall was wearing a cap with his hood pulled up, in hopes that he wasn’t recognized, and we had to duck out a back entrance to avoid the few dozen girls who had gathered in front of the hotel, but since we weren’t with the whole group, it was easier to move around undetected.

“I need to get a picture of this,” he said, once we had settled into a booth at the back of Pizano’s Pizzeria, where we had gotten our own personal pies. My phone buzzed a moment later, and I glanced at the tweet Niall had sent:

NiallOfficial: with @JJintheSky having our first taste of Chicago style pizza, looks amazing!!

“You’re going to have a few more follower requests now,” he grinned, before digging into the pizza.

I rolled my eyes. Even if they did start following me on Twitter, I had it so I had to approve them first. Also, there was nothing on my Twitter to really say who exactly I was (and my picture was of Didier Drogba, so if they did figure out I was Louis’s sister, they wouldn’t know what I looked like), so I wasn’t too worried.

“So, how were the interviews?” I asked through a mouthful of the most delicious pizza I had ever eaten in my life. Niall looked like he was having an orgasm in the booth across from me. I wanted to start off on something innocuous, before we got back into the Liam situation.

“Good,” he replied, once he composed himself. “They ask the same type of questions really – how’d you get together, how do you deal with all the screaming girls, who’s the messiest, that sort.”

“Real thrilling stuff, then?”

“Yeah, but we were expecting it,” he shrugged. “This is the same stuff the UK radios asked last year. The show should be good though. That’s always the best part of all of this.”

We continued to eat; I had to stop half way through because I thought my stomach was going to burst, but Niall just continued shoving it down. It was quite impressive actually.

“So, JJ,” he said, once he had finished and I was still picking away a bit at mine. “About Liam...”

“I know,” I sighed, sitting back in the booth. “I’m completely mental.”

“You’re not mental,” he replied. “I just...I just don’t want you get really invested in him, you know? He’s crazy about Danielle.” I didn’t respond, but instead played with the straw in my glass. “Liam is a great guy, one of my best mates,” Niall continued. “And I know that he would never intentionally hurt you, but he can be a bit oblivious when it comes to things.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, most guys can tell when a girl likes him. There are certain signs, you know? So, say a girl fancied me; generally I would know about it and I would make sure, if I didn’t like her back, to be very careful around her, so as not to encourage her, you know?”

“That’s because you’re a great guy, Niall.”

“Yeah, I know,” he grinned. “But seriously, Jay, you will need to come out and explicitly tell Liam how you feel, or he’ll never know.”

“Really?” I asked, in disbelief. “Is he really that thick?”

“When it comes to girls, at least,” Niall chuckled.

“Well, I guess that’s a good thing, then,” I admitted. “I don’t want him to know.”

“Why Liam then?” Niall asked, a sly grin on his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t go for Harry.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Believe me, if Harry were interested, I wouldn’t say no. But, I know he isn’t and won’t ever be. And anyway, I think Liam is more my speed, you know?”

“How so?” he pressed.

“Well,” I started, wondering how much I wanted to divulge to him. Granted, Niall was probably one of my closest friends, and I would be nice to have someone to talk to about all of this while on tour... “He’s a genuinely sweet guy, I guess. I don’t think I can see Liam saying one mean thing about anyone or judging anyone, ever.”

“You’re right about that.”

“And that’s what I’m looking for, someone who will be happy with me for me and won’t be judging me ever.”

“Who judges you?” Niall asked, looking confused.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Everyone does at some point, I guess. My parents are always comparing me to my siblings, boys in general compare you to other girls, your fans will start judging me once they see that tweet of yours. I always feel like I have to live up to some standard and I just never quite make it.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, JJ,” Niall said, taking the bill that had just been dropped on the table and slipping his credit card into it. “You’ll find somebody who deserves you.”

“Thanks Niall,” I replied, trying to show him I believed him with a smile.

“So, why did you want to come along, again? If you knew that you were going to be getting all this attention, not to mention spending an absurd amount of time with the guy you fancy?”

“Well, I guess first of all I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Louis, to be honest. I know that I’m not going to see him as often anymore and all I was doing at home was sitting around, twiddling my thumbs. Secondly, I might have been a bit selfish and wanted the opportunity to travel the world a bit.”

“Fair enough,” Niall smiled. “Like I said before, though, it’ll be nice to have you around.”

We finished up and headed back to the hotel. I practically had to roll Niall off the elevator, he was so full from the pizza, but it was a good night overall, a turning point in my relationship with Niall. It seemed like he was going to be my girl-talk buddy for the tour.

“Have a good night, JJ,” He said as we stopped outside his room. He pulled me into a hug and I gave him a tight squeeze, trying to convey my gratitude. I appreciated our chat and knowing that I could count on him.

I headed back to my room then, as it was almost past curfew, but some whispering and quiet laughter a few doors away. I watched for a moment, then Louis and Harry scurried out of one of the rooms, carrying bath towels and dressed in nothing but their swim trunks.

“Where are you two going?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Where does it look like?” Louis asked, voice low and eyes scanning the corridor. “The pool!”

“We’re supposed to be in bed,” I reminded them. Harry rolled his eyes.

“Alright, Mom,” he said. “Are you going to tell on us?”

“No,” I shot back, somewhat offended. “Just...just give me a second to grab my suit.”

I wasn’t tired at all, not since I had slept most of the afternoon away, and swimming definitely sounded like fun. My bathing suit was shoved somewhere at the bottom of my suitcase, but it didn’t take me long to find it. Minutes later, Harry, Louis and I were standing on the edge of the indoor pool on the first floor of the hotel. There were signs explicitly stating at that the pool closed at 9pm, over an hour earlier, but that didn’t stop us.

Before I even had a chance to process what was going on, Harry had grabbed a hold of my shoulders and shoved, sending me into the cold water. I came to the surface, sputtering out the water.

“Haz!” I cried, as he laughed at me.

“Don’t worry, JJ,” Louis yelled dramatically. “I’ll avenge you!” He then tackled his mated, sending them both flailing into the water after me.

I remembered from my One Direction research that Liam once said that Harry looked like a baby Tarzan getting out of the pool – and that statement was completely accurate. His curly hair was plastered down around his face and his mouth was spread into a wide smile. Baby Tarzan, indeed. The second thing I noticed was that Harry had certainly grown since the last time I spent time with him. I mean, I had seen him shirtless in his kitchen the other morning, but I had been too distracted by his lack of trousers to really take notice of his torso, but now that it was on full display, I had trouble comprehending where the awkward boy from X-Factor had gone.

“Like what you see?” He asked, standing in the shallow end and striking a ridiculous pose.

Louis sent a wave of water his way and I ducked under the surface, enjoying the general silence of the water. I opened my eyes, blinking against the chlorine and just let the water float me along. It was very peaceful under there. I wasn’t a huge fan of swimming, after a rather unfortunately incident in my youth, but I didn’t mind pools that much.

I came back up to the surface, brushing my hair back from my face and rubbing the water from my eyes. Louis was trying to dunk Harry, but since Harry was nearly six feet tall and was standing in only three feet of water, it made it a bit difficult.

“Need some help?” I asked, swimming over and diving under to knock Harry’s feet out from under him.

It was like that for a while, the Tomlinson Siblings vs. Harry Styles. It was pretty evenly matched though, since Harry was so much stronger than the two of us.

“Why are you going after me?” Harry finally asked of Louis. “Why aren’t you going after her?”

“Because I’m his favorite sister,” I replied, pulling myself up on his back.

“Yeah, but you have four other sisters,” Harry said to Louis, running around the water now and dragging me around. “You only have one Harry!”

“He’s got a point, you know,” Louis said thoughtfully, and I knew I was in trouble.

I immediately let go of Harry and tried to swim to the other end of the pool, but considering I was laughing so hard, I had some trouble. I didn’t get very far before I felt some strong arms wrap around my middle. Harry then, hoping to hurl me through the water back towards Louis, moved his hands to my sides. I, however, am incredibly ticklish, so I snorted in laughter almost before he had even touched me.

Harry, in turn, started laughing as well.

“Uh, oh, JJ,” Louis warned, swimming over toward us. “Harry senses a weakness.”

He was still holding on to me, and since I couldn’t reach the bottom it was rather difficult to get away. “Don’t you dare, Styles,” I warned, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. This, however, only seemed to entertain him even more. “No!” I practically screamed as his fingers attacked my sides. I made to kick him, but Louis, the traitor, grabbed my legs.

I was nearly choking in laughter, when the door to the pool deck slammed open.

“Oi! You lot were supposed to be in bed an hour ago!” Paul yelled.

We all froze – Harry was holding me in his arms as Louis held my feet above water. It probably looked pretty funny, but Paul was far from amused.

“Sorry, Paulie,” Louis grinned, letting me go. Harry held onto me a second long, his hand drifting down my back as I found my footing on the slippery pool bottom. I turned and shot him a look.

“What?” He asked innocently and I rolled my eyes. He was such a flirt.

Paul glowered at us as we climbed out of the water, shooing us out into the hallway and not even letting us get dried off. I felt somewhat bad for Paul – I mean, it could not have been easy dealing with a group of teenage lads as his job, but he was really was a good guy and only put on his tough-guy show when he had to.

We must have been a bit loud as we got off of the elevator, since Liam opened his room door to see what was going on.

“Did you go swimming?” he asked the three of us as we walked by. “Without me?”

“Sorry, Liam,” Harry replied, shaking the water out of his hair. “Next time we’ll invite you.”

“Yeah, you better,” Liam called after him, as Harry disappeared into his room. He then turned and looked at me. “Alright, JJ?”

I was suddenly very aware of the fact that I was standing there in nothing but my bikini and flushed red.

“Yeah, it was a good laugh.”

“Good. Sleep well,” he smiled and then went back into his room.

“JJ, bed, now,” Paul ordered, now physically pushing Louis into his room.

“Right. Bed,” I replied, practically running to my door. Once I was inside, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror hanging on the wall.

“Get it together, JJ,” I said. “Get it together.”